Incorrect Irondad And Spiderson - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Honestly, same.
Tony : Are you having another depressive episode?
Peter: A depressive episode?
Peter: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.
*An Alien smacks Peter into a wall on a mission*
Tony: Oh my god, kid are you alright?!
Peter(a professional GenZ kid): Thanks for checking in, I'm still a piece of *garbage*.
Wanda: That's just the summary of my life.
Peter: Same with my life, it's literally just a series of Ls.
Natasha: I would say that, but I haven't cried since I was a child.
Steve: You all concern me.
Sam: THIS is why we need to start group therapy sessions.
Bruce: I agree with Sam on this one, though one on one therapy with licensed therapists is also very beneficial.
Bucky: Bruce, you do know we're all superheroes right? More specifically, unpaid Superheroes.
Clint: I have a post battle head ache and if you all don't stop sending messages, I'm going to use some SHIELD tech to delete this groupchat.
Tony: You know that I'm a billionaire and can pay for literally everyone's therapy, right?
Tony: And we'll be talking about what you said later Pete.
Tony: Also, no need to get the SHIELD tech birdbrain. I'm going to delete this groupchat anyway.
[Peter in the Avengers group chat after they failed a mission]
Peter: The sun will rise and we'll cry again
Peter: try*
Peter: Oh forget it, cry is fine I guess
Peter,who had pulled an all-nighter to study for exams, trying to sleep in.
Tony: Pete, it's time to wake up. Steve's making breakfast.
Peter:...
Tony: Don't make throw water on you.
Peter: Don't make me shatter your skull with one punch.
Tony:....
The Avengers in the hall way who had been listening: ......
I have a headcannon that when Peter Parker gets cranky from lack of sleep, hunger, whatever, his scariness/sass factor goes up like 1000%
__
After a horrible battle against giant lizards. Back at Stark Tower.
Steve Rogers ruffling Peter’s hair: Aren’t you a little young to be an Avenger?
Peter running on 12 red bulls, only slept nine hours total in the last WEEK, and now knows the taste of lizard blood: Aren’t you a little old to be alive?
Steve shocked:
Tony stunned:
Other Avengers mentally freaking out:
Peter: i can fix that for you
Tony: KID-
Peter: May just made seven layer bean dip, you want some?
Tony: Sorry kid, I don’t like beans.
Peter, eyes boring into Tony’s soul: ...Who the fuck doesn’t like beans.
Tony: Kid, for the love of God, stop being reckless and getting yourself nearly killed.
Peter: Why’d you have to say that?? You saying that makes me want to do it even more!!
Tony, exasperated: What is wRONG WITH YOU—
Peter with his super hearing and his teenage hormones: OH MY GOD STOP BLINKING SO LOUDLY.
Tony, confused and frightened: I’m sORRY?????
Texting:
Peter: *sends a picture of a guy throwing a fidget spinner*
Peter: Consider this a warning
Peter: Oh wrong number, sorry.
Tony: Who was that for?
Tony: Peter who the fuck was that for??
Tony: So kid, anybody you like at school?
Peter: Well I sexually identify as a mistake so what does that say?
Tony: That says “another tharapy appointment.”
Peter: Technically, you can’t prove that I can die until I do die.
Peter: And after today’s Spanish test, I might just test that theory.
Tony, using Peter’s own webshooters to web him to his bed: NO—
Peter: You know, you could consider me like a barbie scooter.
Tony: Elaborate?
Peter: Fabulous and unstable 😀
Tony: I’m firing your therapist—
Peter, humming: When you’ve wimbled all your wombles, and you’ve jingled all your jongles, listen to the flimble flomble of my fûckįñg tâñgęrïńē...
Tony:
Peter: Pain. Agony even. Suffering perhaps. Torment maybe.
Tony: I just asked you what you wanted for dinner...jesus fucking christ—