Incorrect Star Wars - Tumblr Posts

This is now cannon. I don't make the rules, it just is.

obi-wan, screaming at anakin mid battle: ibic cuyir an jorcu be gar!! anakin, sighing: yeah i know cody: when did you learn mando'a????? anakin: i didn't. i just know the phrase "this is all your fault" in every language obi-wan speaks.

And after Obi-wan is in it Cody will help him out. Because this is before he realizes those two are his responsibility as long as he serves General Kenobi, who will hurt himself going after them.

Cody siping his caf watching Anakin and Ahsoka blow up a building: Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Obi-wan running towards the burning building: MycircusmymonkeysMycircusmymonkeysMycircusmymonkeysMycircusmymonkeys-!

Lyni half asleep and hearing shouting throws a shoe at it, "Smooth your tail."

Crosshair quickly deals with the argument because no one disturbs his lady.

Lyni to Phee as Tech and Crosshair argue, "Should we tell them they never turned the machine on?"

Phee, "No, I want to know how long it takes for them to realize."

Lyni, "Fair enough." And holds up the stop watch she had started when the argument begain, "Six minutes so far."

Lyni: Standing in the doorway to a room with overturned chairs, a broken window and flour covering everything. Looking to Crosshair standing in the middle of the chaos, also covered in flour before crossing her arms, "Well."

Crosshair: Trying to get out of trouble, "I will tell you the top ten reasons why Crosshair is sorry, number three may surprise you."

Hunter: Tech, hack into their cameras Tech: Oh sure, let me just load my 'tap into every security camera in the city' app Tech: *taps the screen* Tech: I'm sorry if that sounded like sarcasm. It wasn't, I am in

Rex: You're scared someone will ask Cody out before you? Obi-Wan: Yes Rex: 99.9% sure you don't have to worry about that Obi-Wan: Why? He's amazing Rex: He's also terrifying *later* Quinlan: So...got any plans later? Cody: Uh- Rex: Holy fuck the 0.1%

Rex: So what do you find as the most attractive quality in a man? Ahsoka: Usually their girlfriends

Lol

Ponds: I can't believe I have to have sex with General Windu.

Neyo: (slightly concerned) I mean you don't have to, vod. The mission parameters only say pretending to be a couple.

Ponds: No, I'm fucking him.

Obi-Wan to Anakin: Your lightsaber is your life! Stop losing or breaking it!

Cody arrives and gives his lightsaber back to Obi-Wan for the thousandth time: Hold on, sir.

Obi-Wan: Thank you Cody.

Anakin : ...

Anakin before doing a stupid thing: Ahsoka, don't tell Obi-Wan.

Later...

Anakin: Ahsoka!

Ahsoka : I didn't tell him anything!

What happened:

Cody : So... Rex told me that Kix told him that Echo told him that Fives told him that Commander Tano told him that General Skywalker was going to do something stupid. Again.

Obi-Wan :

Anakin before doing a stupid thing: Ahsoka, don't tell Obi-Wan.

Later...

Anakin: Ahsoka!

Ahsoka : I didn't tell him anything!

What happened:

Cody : So... Rex told me that Kix told him that Echo told him that Fives told him that Commander Tano told him that General Skywalker was going to do something stupid. Again.

Obi-Wan :

Anakin returns to Coruscant a week later than he does in ROTS because he was injured and had to be hospitalized on another planet.

Anakin: Padme, I'm back!

Padme : Ani! I'm glad to see you!

Anakin : Did you have any problems while I wasn't there?

Padme : ...

Anakin : Padme?

Padme : I was pregnant.

Anakin: What?!

Padme : You're a dad.

Anakin : WHAT??!!

Padme : Luke and Leia sleep so don't make too much noise if you go to see them.

Anakin: They are TWO ???!!!

Anakin :

Cody : *Waking up at 3am because a comlink rings* ... Yes?

Anakin :... Cody?

Cody: General Skywalker? Is there a problem?

Anakin: No...

Cody: You need me for something?

Anakin : No...

Cody: So why did you call me at 3am?

Anakin: I didn't. Why did you respond to Obi-Wan's comlink?

Cody : What...?

Anakin :... Is Obi-Wan with you? At 3am? What does that mean?!

Cody : That's not what you think, sir! We were... He was...

Anakin : Obi-Wan, you're just a stupid hypocrite!

Obi-Wan: *wakes up because of the noise * What?

Cody : We can explain!

Anakin: Obi-Wan! The last time I asked Rex to work at this time to help me with the paperwork, you berated me for hours! But you're doing the same thing with Cody!

Obi-Wan : *always half asleep* Paperwork? Where?

Cody : Paperwork! We are guilty! We were working. Nothing else. You are absolutely right! *laughs nervously*

Obi-Wan: So... Cody and I are very close.

Cody: Very, very close.

Anakin: Well, I know. You are very good friends.

Cody: We're not friends.

Anakin : What???

Obi-Wan: Cody! Of course we're friends! It's just that there's something else as well.

Anakin: What else do you do?

Obi-Wan : I don't know how to explain this to you...

Cody : Your master and I sleep together.

Obi-Wan : Cody!

Anakin : That's all? I thought you wanted to tell me something important.

Obi-Wan: I thought you'd react differently.

Cody : Me too.

Anakin : Why? Rex and I do that too.

Obi-Wan : What?

Cody : What?!

Anakin: Fives and Echo joined us last time. It's happened before that Jesse and Hardcase come too.

Cody : WHAT?!

Anakin : It's rare, but Kix also comes to join us sometimes.

Obi-Wan : Oh my god! Anakin! I didn't raise you like that!

Cody : I'm going to be sick...

*2 hours later*

Anakin: I don't understand their reaction, Rex! We didn't do anything wrong!

Rex: I don't know, sir. Maybe sleeping in the same tent as his general is forbidden.

Anakin : What? Even when it's very cold? That's ridiculous! Sharing a tent is the best idea to avoid freezing to death!

Rex : I know, sir. Their reactions are strange.

Kix : Maybe it's because General Kenobi and Commander Cody weren't talking about sharing a tent?

Anakin : What were they talking about then?

Kix :

Cody : General Kenobi, we need to talk.

Obi-Wan : Is there a problem?

Cody : Yes. Well, no, not really. We are not under attack. No one died. And 501 is on another planet.

Obi-Wan : So what's the problem?

Cody : You need to find a Padawan.

Obi-Wan : What? Why?

Cody : Because I want a Padawan! Go get one!

Obi-Wan : We don't have time for that.

Cody : I can give him food and drink! I can also take it out for a walk!

Obi-Wan : Cody, it doesn't work like that...

Cody : It's not fair! Gree, Grey, and even Rex have a Padawan!

Obi-Wan : ... Why do you want a Padawan?

Cody : To give him the order to do my paperwork of course.

Obi-Wan : Cody!

Cody : What? Skywalker does it all the time! I can't stand to deal with all the paperwork anymore! Do you realize all the work I do?! I eat and breathe paperwork! I sleep with paperwork! I'm struggling with paperwork! I'm talking with paperwork!

Obi-Wan : I'm pretty sure that's an exaggeration...

Cody : My LIFE is paperwork!!

Cody :

Cody : General Kenobi, we need to talk.

Obi-Wan : Is there a problem?

Cody : Yes. Well, no, not really. We are not under attack. No one died. And 501 is on another planet.

Obi-Wan : So what's the problem?

Cody : You need to find a Padawan.

Obi-Wan : What? Why?

Cody : Because I want a Padawan! Go get one!

Obi-Wan : We don't have time for that.

Cody : I can give him food and drink! I can also take it out for a walk!

Obi-Wan : Cody, it doesn't work like that...

Cody : It's not fair! Gree, Grey, and even Rex have a Padawan!

Obi-Wan : ... Why do you want a Padawan?

Cody : To give him the order to do my paperwork of course.

Obi-Wan : Cody!

Cody : What? Skywalker does it all the time! I can't stand to deal with all the paperwork anymore! Do you realize all the work I do?! I eat and breathe paperwork! I sleep with paperwork! I'm struggling with paperwork! I'm talking with paperwork!

Obi-Wan : I'm pretty sure that's an exaggeration...

Cody : My LIFE is paperwork!!

Cody :

Anakin : Luke, Leia meet your Uncle Rex!

Rex : What? General! You can't just kidnap random kids!

Anakin : They're mine! I made them myself. Padme helped.

Rex : It's even worse! C-3PO is pretty awful! We don't need another one of your creations!

Anakin : ...

Anakin : Luke, Leia meet your Uncle Rex!

Rex : What? General! You can't just kidnap random kids!

Anakin : They're mine! I made them myself. Padme helped.

Rex : It's even worse! C-3PO is pretty awful! We don't need another one of your creations!

Anakin : ...

Cody: Count Dooku really seems to hate us Obi-wan: Maybe he's homophobic Cody: We're not a couple, General Obi-wan: We're not? Rex: You're not?