Lmfao Post - Tumblr Posts

please ask me something i’m bored and procrastinating

one time in 4th grade we were learning about fractions and i said 28/28 equals 1 but this boy said i was wrong like seventeen times and the teacher had to explain to him why i was right so at the end he was like "oh i see" and i was like "oH I sEe" and i had to write a letter home explaining what i did wrong but i was RIGHT TO DO THAT i swear i was RIGHT he DESERVED IT

if you tried to live on iceberg lettuce alone, you would have to eat 34 heads of lettuce daily, and you would spend $17,551 annually before dying of multiple nutrient deficiencies

me: why can’t authors create more original male characters, switch things up a bit

author: he has daddy issues

me: oMG HOT

no return policies are essentially the store telling you “no taksie backsies”

to everyone who tells me “go big or go home”:

you severely underestimate my desire to go home

that horrible moment when you read “twix” as “twinks”

family feud things:

when two members of your family are fighting with each other so you act super polite and quiet and nice as to not invoke Rage.

you know when a person notices some random little thing you do subconsciously and they point it out to you and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside because they noticed

reblog ur little unique mannerisms

{when i stand straight+still my feet go into first position}

my dear followers

i, your lovely and benevolent shitposter, am bored.

i have work.

i do not want to do that work.

please talk to me and/or ask weirdass questions

please

i am now contributing to the online discourse:

humans are simultaneously crunchy and chewy

shoutout to strawberries for keeping it fun and fresh with the new “seeds out” look

challenge time

define the word why without using any of the other w’s or how

how can we make sure rulers are 100% straight

i want six pet sloths so i can name them for each of the seven sins except for sloth

"if cinderella's shoe was a perfect fit why did it come off" bitch have you worn high heels before they're temperamental as fuck

fun fact

you can’t breath in through your mouth and nose at the same time