Recovering Codependent - Tumblr Posts

interview is soooooo difficult as somebody recovering from a lifetime of codependent relationship after codependent relationship after codependent relationship. I understand these stupid vampires completely and I feel the damage done onto them because it is my own. but I also feel their love, as that is also my own. One could not exist without the other and I know this from personal experience. By giving your love you're handing them the remote to a shock collar around your heart. I can't in good conscious ship them bcs practically all of them are like this, but also, how can i NOT ship them??? I feel the devotion they have for each other. It's there, tangible, in my hands. but how can I wish for my favorite characters to endure the emotional warfaire I relate to? How can I not wish for it if that's the very reason they're my favorite characters. Many such cases...

I love walking that fine line between feeling so seen and comforted & getting hopelessly triggered. Recovery is not pretty but these shows sure are!

God I love coping through media

I am normal and can be trusted with complex characters and depictions of morally grey relationships.

google, search how to not subconsciously force my healthy and loving partner into the role of an abuser bcs I anticipate and detect abuse where it genuinely is not happening (and then I think that the behavior is normal so I don't call them out and thus allow my perception of them to be warped beyond recognition) google, search for what to do when your mental health gets so bad you lose grip on reality and have episodes of your mind breaking into two and you can't do anything but hold your head hyperventilate and let go of your body as it jerks around uncontrollably until eventually your partner has to just hold you still and talk you down before you accidentally hurt yourself google, search for gift ideas for the most patient perfect boyfriend in the world

The one and only renfield fanwork ever. Basically a sequel. Basically everything I could ever want or ask for in a renfield fic. This is actually sooooo personal to me but idc it must be loved and spread. This bug guy gets my pain & mental anguish as I'm recovering & attempting to have a healthy relationship with my own Rebecca. Thank you for writing this <3

//A Sadness Runs Through Him//

Gen - Renfield Focused Explicit Tags: Depression, Grief/Mourning, Coping with Trauma Chapters: 3/3

Dracula is gone. Renfield finally has a life all his own. So why doesn't he feel free? a.k.a, a short study on the grief of losing ones former life, lover, and purpose

Coffin Mother - A poem.

I was born with splinters poking out I was held in bloodless arms My mother bore me skin and bone But she was a box, and never a home My mother's kisses were dusty and dry My mother's door rusted shut I am new and unaware of you How my father was a victim too There is only one way coffins show love There is an inevitability about it Submitting to the grave is your only one true fate and her chest cavity is beckoning you're late from dust to dust we always return at any moment you could strike to hold me sing me a lullaby while you take my life Death mother keep me safe You've kept me trapped from the sky burred under shrouds of darkness and dirt Like a blanket over my world to deny you is to open my eyes I break your fragile lid and rip your hinges Torn away I cast parts of you aside I crawl with my dead hands through the earth above until a rumored heaven breaks open my brown sky Light and colors fill my vision, the air is not stale my lungs sting and my muscles ache I was not built for standing, walking 6 feet below I can hear howling curses of forgiveness; "This transgression could be forgiven You've had your fun, now come down from there The pain you caused, the body you've broken All that you've abandoned in the home I've built Just try to use the muscles I raised you with I knew you weren't ready for this Come sleep on my chest and let the cold soothe you Everyone has to die eventually." Coffin mother I hate you the ultraviolet burns my malnourished skin There is wood in my lungs, skin, hair Headboards feel like tombstones, Bouquets are mournful Coffin mother I miss you walking on my own with these unused legs makes me yearn for the embrace of sleep laying down in you to turn my brain off Coffin mother I don't love you But I do, in the way you love starvation after awhile Recovery can't stop my memories of enjoyment the high I chased of emptiness you gave I won't ever return to you, I'll blow my ashes in the wind, and you can die with whatever scars my freedom cost. Nobody is coming to fix the hole I punched through you to reach the sky. I can't remove the dirt from my nails or the splinters permanently in my blood. But you can't catch me to engulf my soul in it anymore. I don't care if I'm a dead thing among men. I will die with more life than I was born with. Despite you and your version of the world.

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'you should do something say anything.' 'all i do is remember the details. please linger, please forget meant the same.'

something that has helped me disconnect from codependancy is realizing that married couples arent always together. they live together and spent time together but a lot of the time they just arent together but they still love eachother. they dont need to sleep in the same bed they dont need to constantly show eachother affection they can just coexist and still love eachother unconditionally. love isnt sacrificing every moment for someone, its having your life made better by their existence while you live

How to stop depending on a person who has wanted nothing to do with you for 8 months no glue no borax

So I've been on the hardest antidepressant to get off of for over five years. Last week my new prescriber told me I've basically been on the wrong meds for years and that's why my symptoms are worse.

I am almost done tapering off this medication but the withdrawals are difficult- from waking up in a full cold sweat and needing to shower to headaches and frequent crying for what feels like no reason.

I guess I'm posting this partially looking for validation and I guess any kind words 🤗