You Broke My Fucking Heart - Tumblr Posts

I just watched Brokeback Mountain, and I.....

Będzie ktoś tak miły i mnie zabije? W sumie nie, sama to zrobię

I took a walk with Mouthy today. That Mouthy, he's so ghetto, he's so thug.

He said "damn girl I'm glad to see you haint lost that big ol' white girl booty"

He said "you gotta man girl? Cuz if you do, he in T R O U B L E"

And I said "Nah. I did, but he wanted something different out of life"

And I thought Mouthy was going to say "that's too bad" or "his loss" or something like that.

But Mouthy looked at me and said

"And what do you want out of life?"

I cried today, the first time in a while.

Driving to the mall, listening to Trampled by Turtles (Alone) and suddenly my throat is thick and my eyes are welling with tears and your name is sitting right above my vocal chords like an ugly unhatched egg.

I changed the radio to a Dire Straights station and went on with my business.

I want to say something.

I feel like I should say something.

But there's nothing really to say.

I woke up from a dream about you, haven't had those in months.

Maybe I should have had something to say yesterday after all.

Stop haunting my dreams damn it, he was supposed to have fucked you out from under my skin

With the great love that I had for you.

Loved you beyond measures,

That I failed to survive on my own,

But with the help of a CPR & a nebuliser,

That made me make it alive again,

And you're fighting for it by coming back,

That's when I swore to hate you with great passion,

You didn't deserve me nor my love back then,

It's when you are realising how sweet my love was,

Forget not that I'm ♈ Aries ruled by Mars,

So you better guess the answer, Ciao Bella!!

guys. the nblw sorta friends sorta lovers but not really, “what are we?” situationship ended sooo fucking badly. i need a cig.

i don’t understand why you’re weeping over me leaving your sorry ass. it’s not like you ever cared about me. it’s not like you ever gave a shit about US. you have so many other fucking people in your life who will blindly take your side, just go to them without a second thought! like you always did! why do you choose to treat me like shit, then freak out when i leave?

maybe one day my name will come to your mind again. maybe you’ll smell me in the wind for a brief moment. maybe then you’ll think of all the memories and times we shared together. maybe you’ll remember my laugh or my body against yours. maybe you’ll remember our infinite promises of a future together. maybe you’ll remember what you ruined and willingly threw away.

maybe you’ll give a shit this time.

everyday some wretched part of me deep down wants you to feel upset without me and wonder how i’m doing and think of me every day and maybe i hope you feel at least a little guilty for what you did. but i know better than that and i know that you’re out hanging out with those other friends that you always shittalked to me and you’ve probably forgotten all about me and the love we shared and you probably don’t even give a shit that i never had anybody else to be vulnerable with and it just sucks that it’s probably the truth. and it’s probably been the truth for a long time now.

can i fucking blame you? i’m a horrible person. i have issues upon issues and you’ve probably been wanting to get away from me for the longest time. i’m fucking sorry that i held you back for the longest time and i’m sorry you wasted so much of your fucking life trying to save me.

i just wonder if all her “i love you”s meant something. i wonder if she wanted to kiss me as well all those times i was too scared to make the first move. i wonder if she wanted us to be forever too. i wonder if she secretly wondered if we were friends or lovers as well. i wonder if she spoke lovingly of me to her friends, and i wonder if she held love in her eyes as she did so.

but i see it now. clearly, she did not.