Incorrect Sam Wilson - Tumblr Posts
Fury: have you gotten code names?
Sam: I'm Tom Ato
Steve: I'm Ann Chovi
Bucky: and I'm Ceaser Salad!
Steve:[Tells them the mission plan]
Natasha: that's fun, ancient one
Sam: roger that, artifact
Bucky: of corpse
Steve:
Steve: Buck, not you too-
Michelle using book slang with Peter,
Michelle: Wanna chapter 55?
Peter:
Peter, softly: What?
Michelle: nvm
Ned: You told Y/N you're spiderman but I had to find out?
Peter: Don't be shocked-
Mj and Y/N, mumbling: When you're history book mentions me...
Mj:
Y/N:
Peter: What?
Ned: where have I heard that?
*Mj and Y/N look at each other*
Simultaneously: YOU TOO!?
Tony: I thought you liked the shells kraft dinner?
Peter: I'm trying something new like you said
Tony: but-
Peter: THIS IS ME EXPANDING MY PALLET, DAD.
Natasha: I can't believe this.
Y/N: believe what?
Natasha: that you'd do this to me,,
Y/N: what did I do-
Natasha: YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK CUTE AGAIN, I'M TOO GAY FOR THIS
Steve: footprints in the sand
Steve: then you turn around and you see another pair
Steve: because Jesus was with you all along
Bucky:
Bucky: My names Bucky-
Clint: have you met my Russian assassin girlfriend, Nat?
Kate: and what's Nat short for?
Clint: I don't think vodka makes you grow much...
Natasha: [sees a dog]
Natasha: [high-pitched Russian babbling]
Ned: are you good bro?
Peter: no, why would you think that?
Bucky: 'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street
Sam: Stop it with your old boyfriend.
Bucky: Thats a song-
Steve talking with Peter about queer-platonic relationships: Huh. What are the limits to this relationship, then? I get that there's platonic hugs and kisses, but what sets as the boundary line?
Sam: I think if you stick a finger up my ass I don’t think its platonic no more.
Steve:
Peter:
Sam:
Steve: Why would I stick a finger up your ass?
Peter in the corner, only wanting to inform, on the verge of tears:
Sam, placing a +4: I never remembered UNO being this boring.
Natasha, calmly adding another +4: That's because we played 17 rounds already, and you never won one of them.
Bucky, grumbling as he picks up 8 more cards: This shit ain't team bonding, it's more like team-breaking.
Pepper, sighing as she sets down a reverse card: Fine. Whoever wins this last round gets Peter cuddles for the rest of the night.
Avengers: *suddenly all determined and focused, glaring at each other*
Bucky, sighing: See? Team-breaking.