enoughdonegone

It's Not Fine.

Abuse and trauma survivor - these are my stories in no particular order. Content warnings and triggers everywhere. Adult blog; 18+ only.

794 posts

I Try To Explain This To People. They Say They Understand, But They Don't Really Get It.

I try to explain this to people. They say they understand, but they don't really get it.

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enoughdonegone

6 years ago

This time last year he took another woman to St. Lucia. I paid for between 60 and 70% of this trip.

It was supposed to be ours.

Tags :

abuse spousal abuse psychological abuse emotional abuse financial abuse regret so many regrets new one hurtful painful makes me sick trauma PTSD cptsd survivor one year anniversary

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enoughdonegone

6 years ago

Two years ago I was pregnant. I screamed at my dash and punched my steering wheel and melted down hard after taking the second one. I was stoic and unfeeling most of the time, but this... This was too much.

I don't know why I can't bring myself to throw these things out.

Tags :

pregnancy abortion psychological torture two years ago i wanted to die meltdown survivor dv survivor abusive ex life is fucking cruel i hate myself picture pregnancy tests positive

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enoughdonegone

6 years ago

Tossed out a group invite, included the woman I'm into right now. It's been 6 minutes and no one's responded ( or read the message).

My brain is telling me it's because they hate me and are rolling their eyes at the message preview.

Tags :

shut up brain mental health depression anxiety PTSD cptsd self hatred i hate making plans taking initiative vulnerable

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enoughdonegone

6 years ago

Dirt.

There are still secrets of his I keep under lock and key. Not abuse stuff. Health things. Quirk things. Embarrassing things. The type of stuff you only discover when you live with a person and you see them at their most vulnerable.

I’ll take these things to my grave because I respect that bond we had. I am not sure he’s offering me the same courtesy.

Part of my healing has been coming to terms with that.

Tags :

healing survivor abusive ex respect secrets embarrassing things embarrassing bond pact trust dirty laundry health quirks emotional abuse psychological abuse shame ??? coming to terms recovery is not linear vulnerable humiliation revenge revenge i am not taking class sad my heart

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enoughdonegone

6 years ago

It's difficult for me to discern if this anxiety and social panic was a part of me prior to and exacerbated by him, or if this is purely a symptom of him.

Having met him as a teenager I really can't tell what problems were mine to begin with and what he caused.

He has been too much a part of the creation of me.

Tossed out a group invite, included the woman I’m into right now. It’s been 6 minutes and no one’s responded ( or read the message).

My brain is telling me it’s because they hate me and are rolling their eyes at the message preview.

Tags :

regret confusión Création origin mental health questions unsure he made me this way PTSD cptsd trauma survivor this is what a survivor looks like this is what an abuse survivor looks like this is what recovery looks like

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