Emotionless - Tumblr Posts

I just don't know what to feel anymore. I'm like a black and white photograph. I've got no feelings, no emotions flowing, no colors reflecting my eyes. I'm just present. Like cold grey walls. Just there. Quiet and absent.

You watch the funeral.

A silent, empety place.

No one, not even the family was willing to stare into the face of a child they once called a disgrace.

The family's daette was settled.

But at what cost?

What price was paid?

With hollow eyes, and a tear streaken face.

You read that it is your name craved on the dull plate.

As you realize what will follow is near.

You look up and are met with the arcane face.

You are unable to hold fear

As Death offeres

you their graceful embrace.

With no strength left to fight.

In your emotionless state You accept your bittersweet fate.

And are guided from this cold, damed place.

(If you use or reblog credit me)

I don’t see stuff like this for girls like me, girls who are insensitive, girls who find crying and emotions funny, girls who meet the extremeness of emotion with laughter, girls who cry yet feel no sympathy, girls who are so detached that crying is necessary to feel human again. I don’t see posts like that. Posts about being so numb that emotions are funny. Please don’t let me be the only one.

I got sick of feeling everything so deeply. So I just shut it all off. I don’t feel anything now. :)

Hey! I mean no disrespect by this at all I'm just genuinely curious, in your bio it says you're an emotionless / loveless aplaroace, but you're taken? How does that work?

Oh hey, you're fine. So, I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you know that aromantics can still date, and aces can still participate in intercourse or other. You don't need attraction to do these things, though I'm sure it certainly helps! There identities that are on the aromantic/asexual spectrums where they can experience attraction as well or want to participate in these sorts of relationships(ex: romo or sexual positive aro/aces). Now apply this to the broader aspec/anattractional spectrums.

I will say that emotions can be similar. You don't need to have emotions to be in different kinds of relationships.

Emotionless/loveless are terms I go by to describe my overall experience and/or identity. It does not specify how much emotion or love I can experience, it's just easier to go by the terms instead of describing it all, as like with my aplaroace label which does not specify which identities I go by under that.

I also find it matters little to certain people and they treat me like others who experience even less than I do.

Now with all of that out of the way, I am on the aroace spectrums so I do experience attraction to an extent, and I experience it only with my two partners. All three of us have varying and different types of attraction. I also experience some other non-rose attractions to my partners and even for people outside of them, such as communal or community based attraction, impersonal attraction, solaic, et cetera.

You can really have any type of relationship, as long as it's consensual and in good faith, it's really limitless. Maybe you don't care about that and that's totally fine. Labels, identities, relationship styles/dynamics are for us to use or enjoy but it doesn't mean we have to. But I do and it makes me happy. My partners know I support them and wouldn't want either to be in a relationship with me where they are unhappy or discontent.

Is anyone out there waiting for the last part of Emotionless (Doctor!Seokjin x Patient!OC)?

I just remembered I've never finished it, but I'm afraid no one out there will even read it since it's been so long... So if you would read it or are still waiting for it, please like or reblog this to show support (or even send an ask). Thank you for taking the time to read this! -Admin Jinnie

Emotionless Update

When I posted my last post, I almost immediately got responses from two people ( @taebinie and @very-important-army who are amazing) which really meant a lot! I’ve been working on the last chapter and I’m having trouble with how to start and finish it, but I’m going to work on it today as much as I can to get it posted today (if a miracle happens) or this week if homework is kind to me. I have no promises, but these are my deadline goals!

Again, thank you to everyone who liked and/or commented on my last post, and I hope you love the last chapter!

-Admin Jinnie

Emotionless (Doctor!Seokjin x Patient!OC) Final

This one is a long one, I think the longest chapter of them all... But it’s also over a year late, and I’m so sorry it took me so long to finish this. I’m not going to ramble too much, so I hope you enjoy the final part to Emotionless!

Genre: Fluff, fluff, and more fluffy fluff... and a lot of sumarizing Words: 3,900+ Part 1 - Part 9

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

(I love this gif so much like----)

The rest of the day went perfectly as planned, except for Seokjin who found himself really lonely without Nayoung being present at the office. His day seemed a lot longer than usual as he was waiting for the clock to hit 10:00 so that he could dart out of the office and head home to check on everyone.

Hyemi felt herself sighing from her seat at the front desk as her eyes traveled to the room Nayoung had been occupying for a little more than a year. She had been watching Jungkook, Jimin, Hoseok, and Namjoon carry some boxes out of her room earlier, and her mind was trying to process that she was leaving.

She wasn’t surprised in the slightest that she was leaving; she was actually really grateful. Seokjin would quit slacking, and she would quit making mistakes because of jealousy issues. She didn’t even bother clarifying it with Seokjin, but the incident last week was actually a complete accident. Well, it was more or less.

Hyemi took a deep breath as she was walking down the hall, heading into the room next to Nayoung’s. On her way there, she peaked in the door, noticing that she was asleep with an empty food tray next to her. She sighed and went ahead and entered the room to pick up the try and check her medicine. It was running low, so she just decided to take it to the back and save one of the other nurses the trouble of changing it.

She exited the room and hurried to check on the patient she was originally going to, and soon after that, she left the room to head to the back. She was looking for medicine for Nayoung and the other patient as she grabbed them both and ran them into their respective rooms.

It wasn’t until the next day when she realized she had switched the medications and what she had done to Nayoung’s health. She was nearly fired for the incident when she fessed up to it being her, but she just got off with a warning. One more slip up and she was gone.

She wanted to be mad at Nayoung for the incident- she wanted to tell Seokjin what really happened. She knows that Nayoung found out it was her who last had her medicine, and if Seokjin hadn’t figured it out from her, Hyemi would be shocked. At this point, her relationship with Seokjin was over, and nothing could change that. Not even a miracle would make him forgive her.

While the thoughts were upsetting, she easily got over it. Things were about to get better because Nayoung is gone and Hyemi was moving into another department away from Seokjin tomorrow.

Despite all that happened, she glanced over at Seokjin who was staring at the clock. He looked like he was trying to move the hands with his mind, which made Hyemi roll her eyes. A small smile was on her face as she looked down at her hands.

“Maybe I could have someone like him one day.”

***

A few weeks had gone by and everything was running smoothly. Nayoung was adjusting perfectly to staying at the apartment, and she even started to grow closer to all of them. Jimin would always take her out to eat somewhere when she was hungry, and they would sometimes set up a picnic at the park. Jungkook continued to introduce her to new games, and he even got her into playing Pokemon and trading Pokemon with him. Taehyung was very lenient with her as time went by, and he quit worrying like Seokjin would. He would mainly watch anime with her when she was bored or when she wanted to hang out with him.

Yoongi was busy a lot of the time, but when he wasn’t, he would show her some of his tracks that he was working on. She would sometimes praise the track, and sometimes she would help him with lyrics when he was having trouble. Hoseok was working a good bit, but he was mainly working during the night and sleeping during the day. When he would wake up in the afternoon, he would try and do something with Nayoung, but he never cared what it was. It would mainly consist of scrolling down social media and looking at cute animal videos until they couldn’t find anything they hadn’t seen before. As for Namjoon, he wasn’t as busy on tracks, but he was balancing jobs, so he was hardly home. When he was home, he would try and teach her some English words that would be easy for her to say, and even shared some stories of adventures in America that she would listen to in awe.

Mostly, though, she would hang around Seokjin when he got home. She didn’t get to see him as much as she would have liked, but she took an interest in trying to cook for him before he got home. Sometimes, she would wait for him to get home and they would cook together, but she found it more pleasing to surprise him with a meal and watch his face light up at the taste. She also took to doing his laundry for him, and sometimes she would even help the other guys, and scold them when they forget to get dishes out of their rooms.

Things around the place had been settling down, and everyone was getting used to having Nayoung in their life. Everyone and everything was content for three months up until Nayoung had been informed of her family.

She hadn’t wanted to talk about them to any of the guys, not even Seokjin, until he found out that her mother had been staying at the same hospital he worked at. He didn’t realize it until one day, one of his patients with alzheimer's disease started talking to him like he was someone else. The name Nayoung slipped out of her mouth, which caught him off guard. He was thinking about it for the rest of the day, unable to work. After a few hours, the old lady’s son came up to the hospital, and Seokjin asked him if he could talk to him for a few minutes.

He didn’t tell the son or the old woman that he knew Nayoung, he just asked him who she was and why she was talking about her earlier. Her son had stated that he has a sister who is 4 years older than him, and she ran away from home when she was 20. She told him the night before that she couldn’t stand being around her mom because of how abusive she could be when someone tried to help her do things she couldn’t do anymore.

She went missing, but the cops wouldn’t do anything to look for her since she ran away on her own free will and since she was old enough to be on her own. After he got done talking to Seokjin about it, he had tears staining his face as he told him that he wished he could see her again.

He was afraid to tell Nayoung, but when he got home, she could sense something was wrong as they all ate dinner. She asked Taehyung if she could use their shared room to talk about what was bothering him.

Once he came clean with it, Nayoung got really emotional. He was afraid that she was being reminded of the bus crash, and he tried to comfort her the best he could. She cried into his shoulder, and with words that were hard to understand, she told him that the night she ran away was when she got into the bus accident.

It took her a few days, but she calmed down enough to explain to Seokjin what all had happened in a story similar to her brother’s. She had been really worn down by her mom, and she planned on running away for a few weeks to calm down. After the crash, she lost all will to ever see her family again, and she was afraid to show her face around them. The rest of the guys soon found out and came to comfort her the best they could. They had all been worried about her the past few days, but Seokjin wouldn’t tell them what was wrong until she was okay with it.

Not even two weeks later, the old woman, Nayoung’s mom, passed away in her hospital bed. Nayoung wasn’t upset at the news, but more of nervous. She wanted to see her dad and brother again. She thought about going to her mom’s funeral for her mom, even if she wasn’t the best one in her last few years.

Not only did she attend the funeral, but the rest of the guys went with her. She was really nervous, nearly hysterical about it, and they all wanted to be there to support her. When she first arrived, all her distant family didn’t recognize her, and she wasn’t surprised. She hadn’t met them but a few times in her childhood and most of their names were forgettable. She only knew a few people who were there, and she figured the only ones that would remember her were her mom’s closest friends and her immediate family.

While she showed up to the funeral as her daughter, she didn’t sit with the rest of the family. She didn’t even think they knew she was there. She even debated not even talking to them, but the rest of the guys encouraged her to speak to them. They didn’t really notice her the entire time, but right after the funeral, most of the people left for the burial sight right away.

Some of the guys left, like Yoongi and Namjoon who were pressed for time, but the rest of them stayed with her. They all continued sitting in the back as Nayoung stared at her hands in distress. She didn’t know how she was going to talk to them, and she was worried about what they would say to her.

Her dad and brother eventually got up from the front, both looking worn out. On their way down the aisle, her brother spotted Seokjin at the back of the room, holding a girl really close to comfort her. He was surprised to see him there as he walked up and smiled to him, “Doctor Seokjin… you came?”

Seokjin gave a small smile as Nayoung froze in her position. She was looking down at her hands, and she was too afraid to look up. His arm around her tightened as she took a deep breath. The rest of the guys around them watched Seokjin and Nayoung’s brother as Seokjin started to reply.

“Neh, I come to most of my patient’s funerals,” he nodded, “But that’s not exactly why I came to this one.”

Nayoung’s brother looked confused and looked to the rest of who was with him. His eyes stopped on the nervous girl before him as his mind started to play tricks on him.

“Jihun…” Nayoung spoke really softly as her brother looked at her with surprise. His mind had to be… “Jihun… Mianhaeyo…”

Jihun, Nayoung’s brother, looked at her with the same expression for several seconds before he looked back to Seokjin, “D-Doctor…?”

Seokjin looked at Nayoung and gave her a reassuring squeeze as she wiped some tears from her face. She needed to look up- she couldn’t hide her face forever. Slowly but surely, she looked up at Jihun, taking a deep breath. Seokjin’s arms loosened a little as Jihun’s eyes got wider and wider.

From behind, her father walked up to his son to see what was going on, only to have his eyes lock on Nayoung.

“N-Nayoung…” he said with red, wide eyes. A shaking hand went to rub his forehead while his brain was processing, “Omo, Nayoung… you…”

Jihun launched himself forward and embraced her in a hug as her eyes widened for a second, adjusting her mind to what just happened. A slow smiled started to creep on her face as a tear fell from her eye, and she moved her arms up to hug him back.

The rest of the afternoon she spent with her family and Seokjin as the other guys went home after making sure Nayoung was alright. Seokjin explained most of what had happened to save Nayoung from talking about it, fearing that if she did, she might have issues or flashbacks to the crash.

The day ended on a good note as they thanked Seokjin for all he had done for them, and just like that, the day was over. Nayoung stayed in touch with her brother and dad and continued to apologize for worrying them. She didn’t have any issues with either of them because it was her mom that drove her out, so there weren’t any hard feelings on either side.

A few years began to pass as life moved on in the apartment. Yoongi and Namjoon were being promoted in their company, so both of them decided to move out and into their own smaller apartment closer to their studio. Hoseok had found himself a girlfriend fairly soon after Nayoung had moved in, and after only a matter of months, he had proposed to her. (She said yes, of course- you can’t say no to Hoseok) He decided to move out into an apartment that she moved into with him right after they got married, but their place isn’t too far from the old apartment.

Jimin was in between girlfriends and still staying at the apartment with Seokjin, Nayoung, and Taehyung. Jungkook had decided to move out on his own when he started to seriously date his current girlfriend, but he still visits the old place to hang out with anyone who happens to be there. Taehyung had decided to just stay until Seokjin and Nayoung decided they were getting married, and Jimin and he were planning on getting a place with just the two of them.

Currently, about 3 years later, Seokjin and Nayoung were out having a picnic date on his day off. Taehyung and Jimin tagged along, as well as Jungkook and Hoseok, but they were all off doing something else. They all had been playing some weird version of frisbee golf when Jungkook looked over at Nayoung and Seokjin. He spotted Seokjin’s signal as he got everyone else’s attention.

Nayoung was reading her book while laying next to him, sighing and smiling up at him for a second. He smiled down at her in response, and she looked back at her book, reading a little more. She turned the page of her book and found something stuck to the next page. It was a sticky note with a little phrase written on it in English that she could barely read.

Seokjin had Namjoon to thank for writing these notes for him.

She eventually was able to read it, “Oppa… this note says ‘behind the rose bush’... did you put it there? And since when did you learn English?”

Seokjin’s eyebrows raised, “Mwoh? I don’t know how to write in English. I don’t know what that is…”

Nayoung sat up and took the note out, rereading it to make sure that’s what it said. Meanwhile, the other guys were all hiding something behind a rosebush that was several feet away from Nayoung and Seokjin.

Sighing, she stood up and scanned the park, spotting a rose bush that she was assuming the note was talking about. He stood up and followed her in the direction, giving a thumbs up to Taehyung and Jungkook who were trying to act naturally as Hoseok and Jimin ran from behind some trees.

They eventually reached the bush and she found a bouquet of roses in the bush with a note on top of them. This note was also in English as she attempted to translate it again.

“This one says something about a gazebo…” she mumbled and then turned to Seokjin with the bouquet in her hand, “Oppa, quit playing dumb with me. What is this? What are you up to?”

Seokjin took the note from her, “Are you sure this says gazebo? I don’t even think there is one here…”

“Oppa!” Nayoung laughed slightly, “You’re ignoring my question!

Seokjin just sighed and handed her the note, “Alright alright, you got me,” he raised his hands up in surrender. “I planted these notes, but they were supposed to be for your birthday in a few days… I didn’t know you were bringing that book today, so I got the guys to help me out and just give you your present early.”

Nayoung slightly frowned, “Oh… I’m sorry Oppa… You should have said something to me about bringing a different book.”

“No, that would have looked suspicious,” Seokjin shook his head, “let’s just go to the gazebo over here and I’ll give you your gift. I would make you wait, but since it’s already started, we might as well keep going.”

Nayoung studied his face to make sure this was the truth this time, and he seemed pretty serious. She nodded and felt the excitement fill her as she started wondering what the present could be. He tended to really spoil her with the gifts he gave her for special occasions.

They made it to the gazebo, and it was decorated with a bunch of purple and red petals. There was a banner that said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NAYOUNG!” that looked like it was homemade by the guys. She giggled at it and continued to look around the area and smile. There were a few pictures of her and the guys having fun doing various things, and it made her slightly miss those times.

She did notice that there was no present laying around, so she turned out to ask Seokjin, but she was stopped short. Her eyes widened and her hands covered her mouth as she felt tears on their way.

Seokjin was down on one knee with the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. She moved closer to him and felt the tears fall as he just sweetly smiled at her.

“I love you, Jagiya…” he almost whispered, “Will you, the love of my life, marry me?”

Nayoung didn’t even bother trying to say anything as she furiously nodded her head. She practically pulled up Seokjin and hugged him really tight before letting him go to put on the ring. She stared at it for a few seconds before looking up at Seokjin.

“That’s not your present by the way,” he smiled, “That was just a lie to get you to not suspect that I was proposing.”

Nayoung wiped some tears from her eyes and sniffed as she embraced him again, spotting their friends in the background. Jimin was holding his phone, probably filming them, while the other three were either cheering or clapping.

About 10 months after proposing, they had their wedding held around that same gazebo in the park, and they only invited close family and friends. The process of it wasn’t too stressful, and the wedding was cute and sweet as they exchanged ‘I do’s and talked with the family and friends that attended.

They all had to head to a different building for the cake and bouquet toss, but it was nothing too special.

Sitting at their own table was all of the guys and Nayoung, and they were all having their small conversations. Nayoung couldn’t help but smile at everyone being back together again, and she was reminiscent of when they all lived under the same roof. Part of her missed those days, but she was happy to be moving her life along. They were about to sell the old apartment that they had been in for years, and Jimin and Taehyung are moving into a different building.

Seokjin and Nayoung, on the other hand, are getting an actual house together, but one that’s not too far from everyone so that they could visit.

“Nayoung…” Jimin spoke up, turning everyone’s attention to the two of them, “I really need to thank you for something that I don’t think anyone realized.”

She raised an eyebrow as everyone else at the table got confused as well.

“While we’re all distant most of the time currently, when Seokjin Hyung met you, I feel like everyone’s concern for you brought us all together. We all wanted to help you and support Hyung, and in doing that, we starting doing a lot together. You are the main reason we all are still in contact even in moving out of the same living space.”

All the guys were silently agreeing as Nayoung smiled, “Jiminie Oppa, I don’t think I’m the main cause. If anything, I should be thankful for all of you helping me find myself again. And I’m also thankful for all the gifts that I was given that I didn’t totally deserve.”

Taehyung shook his head, “You need to give credit where credit is due, Nayoung! I agree with Jimin. I think we all do.”

“I think,” Namjoon cut everyone off, “Instead of throwing a bunch of praise back and forth, we should enjoy our time together right now. It’s rare that we’re all in the same place at the same time. Credit does need to be given to Nayoung, but we shouldn’t waste precious time here.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook agreed, “I agree because I feel like Hoseok is about to fly out of his chair to his wife if we aren’t careful.”

“I just want her to be here!” Hoseok cried, “Why does she have to be way over there instead of with me? Look! She looks so sad without me!”

“She looks just fine,” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “She’s having a good time talking to Jungkook’s fiance.”

Jungkook’s face turned red as she shot a look at Yoongi. “Hush Hyung! I haven’t proposed yet…”

“But you’re about to~,” Seokjin sang as Jungkook shushed him, too.

“Aigoo…” Jimin said as he rested his chin in the palm of his hand and his elbow on the table, “Everyone is finding love and I’m like a potato in the sea of attractive people.”

“Oh please!” “Jimin, there is not one thing wrong with your looks.” “You just need to let life happen.” “I want to slap you from calling yourself ugly.” “You’re not the only single one here, anyway!”

Nayoung giggled at everyone’s arguments  as she shook her head. It felt like old times again.

Seokjin nudged her a little and their eyes locked. They smiled at each other and leaned in for a soft kiss. Everyone’s yelling was drowned out as they pulled away and Nayoung’s head rested on Seokjin’s shoulder.

“Oppa…” she whispered to him, “Thank you for coming into my life…”

He smiled and kissed the top of her head, taking in the smell of her strawberry shampoo mixed with hairspray.

“Thank you for opening up to me, Jagi…” he whispered in response as the rest of the guys quit arguing and looked to the two lovebirds who were on another planet.

Seokjin wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head, being careful to not mess up her hair do. He started to reflect on everything that led up to now, and glanced around the room at all of his friends, most of them watching him. He rested his head on Nayoung’s and sighed of contentment, remembering the first time she let him hug her. It didn’t even take words for me to fall in love with you.

OMG! I cannot believe I finished this! I can’t tell you how bad I felt for leaving this story to die, but now that I’ve actually finished it, I feel so much better! If you’ve written before, you know what I mean when I say there’s nothing more satisfying and upsetting at the same time than finishing a long story you’ve written. Thank you all my readers who stuck it out until the end, and thank you to those who decided to read it because it’s finally finished (that would have been me xD) I hope you stick around for future stories!

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

-Admin Jinnie

wesker, you won’t experiment in me, right? -emotionless anon

In you? Maybe not right now. But on you...only if you wish.

A strange OMORI dream I had yesterday, visualized

ALT text under the cut

[Image Description -

The image has a vertical format: In upper half shows a starry cloudless sky. Central on the ground is Omori driving on a brown moped, emotionless. The ground he is driving on is a giant eye, like the eye of Something.

The black of the Something-ground develops into the lower half. It shows a large blood red body of water, with a smaller version of Omori on the side pushing a Sunny towards the lake. Sunny is just as emotionless and has his eyes closed. Both boys are proportionally more like the ingame sprites like this was a scene in the game. This scene is framed with thick black eyelashes and rather dark compared to the upper part.

End I.D.]

Im getting so tired of either feeling waaayyy too much or nothing at all.