Toxic Frienship - Tumblr Posts

A tip for those still in highschool:

Don't spend the highlights of your highschool experience with people that will dampen those memories. Please select the people in your life carefully, more so than I did, so that you can look back on those memories and smile. Differentiate who stuck with you through the hard times, who values your honesty, who tells you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear, who brings you closer to Christ, who is loyal to you no matter what, who never talks shit about you, who believes in self improvement, who sees how much you care and appreciates you for it, who has their priorities straight, who reminds you what you're worth even when you forget... and who is all talk.

Coming from someone who is deathly afraid of being alone, it is always better to be on your own than to be surrounded by liars and manipulators and fake "I love you"s.

Because you are who you hang out with. Everything you hate about them is what you will become. And even after you come to your senses, discover your worth and emerge from the waves of half truths you were trapped under, because of the time already spent with them, their stench will remain.

And it will drive you mad.

Pray for discernment, my friends. There are few wounds in life as painful as betrayal.

leaving it behind pt i

It’s honestly crazy how much I’ve done to try and keep toxic people in my life. For me to try and please them, give them so much and not get that love or energy reciprocated really hurt me.

being a giver and not actual receiving the same effort you put out when it comes to friend does mess you up.

I’m slowly but surely moving on from the toxic energy that has caused me emotionally trauma . I know it won’t be easy. You cannot give up.

obsession turned crazed

how come it’s been three years and y’all still text my boyfriend, i know you want to ruin my relationship and are obsessed with my man but it’s been three years. it’s honestly crazy how it’s been years since we dropped the friendship and y’all are still bothering us.

Venting about my toxic friends I had that I continued being friends 4 the whole school year.

I’m use fake names

So let me start with this girl J. Okay so I like to let me friends use my phone at time cause I trust them to play the games I let them and not snoop through my phone. So I remember letting her play games on my phone and then one day she ask to download subway surfers. I told her no cause Of my storage and I had a similar game then subway surfers she could play and she had a tantrum about not wanting to play a knock off game and we both was in 6grade at the time. Another time I remember of her was that on time we was playing khaoot and it was a team thing so I did a random nickname for a imaginary team I use the name JJ and she yelled at me for using it saying it was her nickname and I didn’t even know her last name and her last name didn’t even started with J. That just some of the one I can remember.

Next is this friend group I was in with A, M & P so I remember this one time I was with them I went to the bathroom really quick and left my phone & they went on it when I came back I saw them playing bite life on my phone and messing up one of my characters I was playing And I haven’t given them permission on it to be on my phone and they haven’t even asked.

I just wanna to tell someone cause I felt a little regret not doing anything.

Vent

my body hurts and everything hurts, I feel like I'm back to square one. I had a friend group of 4(including me), it grew gradually over the years but it was always us four in the center of it, we were inseperable until we weren't. my first friend (who i created the friend group with) dropped me, then a year later I was slowly drifting apart from another, (reminder these friends are/were pratically my brothers) and then I made a really nice friend, i trusted him with my life, then he js ghosted me, and so I was so everything about that, and then on the last day of school sumn happened between me n my friend group (im also the only female in it, they make sexist and racist jokes wow im remembering how toxic they were jesus) me sobbing, them teasing me, etc, and it was so like, idk, because I was sobbing and he did nothing. I had noone else to trust (Except 1 online friend) at the time and he did nothing. that was the last day of school and none of them ever reached out to contact me and apologize, i bet a few of them would if they had my info but none of them did, I ended on good terms with one because we talked at the end of the day, he was always better than most of them tbf. anyway, the one i trusted, my best friend, basically my brother, just like left me. after all we went through, years and years and years, didn't care. I hate him so much but I hate myself for hating him. I don't know who I am without any of them, and it's hard to say who I'll hang out with in the next school year. I feel like im noone at this point, just everything about me, gone and wasted, I don't know, it's all so js fucked. the 4 of us said we would grow up and live together, the 4 of us, happy, or atleast live across/next to eachother. i hate it all, i feel like this is my fault but i know its not. but it could be. maybe i just like unattract people, this always happens to me. every time, i dont think i'll ever know why because each time i do something different. I could be your comfort friend, the friend who trauma dumps, the person who fucking follows you around like a dog. and i'll still get dropped, kicked out on the street left for rats to eat. (hey that rhymes). its so fucked, idk who i am or what i am or what i'll do. I wanna go back to them, I wanna, I shouldn't but I know if I have the option I will. I'm scared. for me. for me and him. for everything and everyone. I'm tired. and it all just hit me. if you've read this far I appreciate you, thank you. (guys ignore the tags please im not edgy bart simpson wallpaper kid please I beg of u)

Everytime someone betrays me, I go like "that's why I hate people." Magically it helps me to put my frustration away.

codependency

dominants

To all people who have what I like to call "the caretaker syndrome" (or "therapist friend syndrome") which is always caring too much about how other people are doing around you. This mentality is a lot more toxic that what you'd might think because you put the responsibility of your own mood and well being on the person you're "mentoring" because you think your personal worth depends on how much you can lift somebody up.

A lot of people justify this saying "well if I'm helping them doesn't that make me a good person" and the sad truth is no, it doesn't, because if you feel pressure to help someone who's in need and if you didn't help them you'd feel guilt and shame, it means that it's about you feeling bad about yourself and trying to fill that hole inside of you that is self hatred with always helping others even if that's against your own needs because you think that is what will make you worthy of love (which is simply not true)

It's okay to worry about your loved ones of course but feeling guilty because you didn't help someone is not, EVERYONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEMSELVES, and truly caring about someone is simply helping them because of course you want them to be happy and that would make you happy too. But the difference is, if it was pure affection, you wouldn't feel guilty or not enough of a person if you decided to not help that individual, because it would be obvious to you that you are a person deserving of love without proving anything.

In conclusion, it isn't about them. It's about using them and their codependent way of connecting (because they rely on others too much, that is also toxic) to hate yourself a little less. And at the end of the day it's selfish, even though it seems like "OnLy wAnTiNg tO hELp"

This mentality of codependency is terrible for every relationship because the people you attract with your savior complex are the people that need someone to control them and be stronger than them because they'd feel like a bad person otherwise. They don't truly look up to you, they just need to feel inferior because they think they aren't enough on their own just like you.

submissives

Their victim mentality is about the same old "being in pain makes you a better person" which is such fucking bullshit and by the way it's also selfish even if it's about suppressing yourself because you don't truly love the person that controls you, you use them for their validation they give you when you "do well". Everything you do is for them and you can use that to feel like a better person, because you think sacrificing yourself and your own needs is what makes you worthy of love.

With that mentality you will never actually get better (unless you let go of the mentality), because your entire "personal growth" is for another individual, and you need them to mentor you and control you, so if you actually got better, you'd have to let go of them and their constant validation which you don't want.

in conclusion

At the end of the day both mentalities are about avoiding responsibility and using self destruction to justify the things you do saying "if it hurts me then I'm the victim" -> "it isn't my fault" -> "i am not responsible" WHICH IS NOT TRUE. Hurting yourself is just as bad as hurting someone else if not worse (!!!!!!). If you hurt yourself you're also going to end up hurting the people around you too even if you don't want to.

So for fuck's sake, realize the very obvious fact that you are deserving of love without having to prove anything to anyone. In fact you help the most if you put your own needs first, before others'. It's hard to believe but it's true, you inflict what you feel inside into the outside world even if you don't want to. Energy never lies.

Also if you have toxic relationships, you don't have to cut those people off, you can simply change your way of connecting and if they don't want to let go of their own toxicity, they won't want to connect with you, since they won't be able to use you anymore, because there will be nothing for them to use. They might get mad saying "you changed", if that happens honestly telling them what you think and feel would be the best, and if they don't understand, let them go.

Let that be a milestone for how far you've come and how hard you've worked. Be proud of yourself and be proud of loving yourself. Even though we are walking different paths, we are all in this together. You are not alone.

May 22. 2022.

TW: Dopamine chasing, Toxic Friendships, Codependency

I have always been one to chase hapiness highs. By no means is this the most negative part of my personality, nor a particularly uncommon one, but it does lead to some side effects. For one thing I can not sit down and fully immerse myself in media as the happy feelings would take to long to develop so I dive head first into the fandom instead. And ill stay in the fandom for a while , consuming every once of media I can about it until I inevitably loose intrest and stop caring about it all together and start the cycle again. Not the best cycle admittedly, but far from the worst. However the inbetween of losing intrest in one peice of media and latching on to another one is the worst. I will drift aimlessly with nothing to do, as if hollow , drained entirely. The color seeps out from my world and I am left yearning for something to reintroduce it, to get back to my high. The real trouble is when this attitude effects my relationships with people. I will find someone and talk to them and then my thoughts get consumed by them and they will be all I talk about, all I care about. I will distance myself from the others around me in order to get more of my new subject of intrest. And then the high will fade and I want nothing to do with them, but they are still atached to me. I will grow to resent them for taking up my time as if I was not the one to start the relationship. I can tell they have grown to rely on me for their hapiness much as I had done to them. I will try to reignite some amount of intrest but come up dry, and in doing so grow to despise them entirerly. Once the codependency ends It seems more and more like a chore to talk with them. And eventually I leave their life as suddenly as I entered it leaving them being confused and hurt because se despite my explanations they don’t understand my way of thinking- how could they? Their perception of me is clean and glossy because I‘m adept at showing that to everyone, at hiding how I truly am. And thus the cycle starts again, with me convincing myself that this time it will be different - that I can learn to stay.

Welcome to life lessons with jazzie!

Today's topic:[TOXICITY AND TRUE Friends]

Now we have toxic people in our lives and here is the difference between these types of people

Toxic friendships often leave you feeling responsible for things that aren’t your fault.

Healthy friendships make it easy to accept responsibility when something is your fault

If you find that your friend doesn’t ever listen to you - sometimes quite literally- you may be in a toxic friendship.

In a healthy friendship, everyone takes time to be present and listen attentively to each other.

Toxic friendships don’t take you seriously.

Healthy friendships consider your point of view- even if they don’t agree with you

And here the signs you need to watch out for if you're in a toxic relationship:

They disrespect your boundaries. ...

They always need something from you. ...

They don't take accountability. ...

They may weaponize their struggles. ...

They make you feel guilty for spending time with other people. ...

They dismiss your values. ...

They ignore your efforts to be a good friend to them.

Here is a video just in case for all of you.

In any case you need help you can always come to your loved one!^^

That's all!💕