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Andreas reading by Edward Munich (1882-1883)

Love: An Anchor in Uncertainty

While other forces can provide stability and meaning, love holds a unique position in navigating life's uncharted waters.

When surrounded by the unknown, love offers a safe haven. Knowing you are loved and cared for, whether by family, friends, or a romantic partner, can ground you and offer a sense of belonging.

Love can inspire courage and determination, giving you the strength to weather even the most difficult storms. The knowledge that someone believes in you and is there for you can be a powerful motivator in challenging times.

Love fuels a belief in a better future. It encourages us to see beyond the present difficulties and hold onto the hope for a brighter tomorrow, especially when the future feels uncertain.

When faced with doubts and anxieties, love can remind us of our worth and provide a sense of self-compassion. Knowing that someone loves us unconditionally, flaws and all, can help us accept ourselves and navigate uncertainty with greater self-awareness.

When faced with conflict or misunderstanding, love encourages forgiveness and a willingness to work towards solutions. This ability to maintain connection even through challenges can be a powerful anchor in times of uncertainty.

While love holds immense power in grounding us during uncertain times, it's not the only source of stability. Other forces can play a vital role:

Faith and spirituality: For many, faith in a higher power or adherence to a spiritual belief system can offer a sense of calm and purpose in the face of uncertainty.

Self-belief and inner strength: Cultivating self-confidence and resilience can empower us to navigate life's challenges without relying solely on external sources of support.

Purpose and meaning: Having a sense of purpose and meaning in life can provide a sense of direction and motivation, even when faced with the unknown.

Community and belonging: Being part of a supportive community can offer a sense of belonging and connection, which can be a source of strength and stability in uncertain times.

Ultimately, the most effective way to navigate uncertainty involves a combination of various anchors in our lives. Love undoubtedly holds a powerful position, offering connection, strength, and hope. However, recognizing and nurturing other sources of stability, such as faith, inner strength, purpose, and community, can further equip us to face life's uncharted territory with courage and resilience.

Balancing Love and Independence

Sometimes you want a lover in your life, but sometimes you also feel that you don't really need one.

That's a perfectly valid feeling! The desire for love and companionship ebbs and flows throughout our lives, and it's normal to experience moments of both yearning and contentment with your own company. It can be a confusing mix, but there's no one-size-fits-all answer to whether you "need" a lover or not.

Here are some things to consider:

Reasons you might want a lover:

Connection and intimacy: Sharing experiences, thoughts, and feelings with someone who understands and supports you can be incredibly fulfilling.

Emotional support: A loving partner can be a source of strength and comfort during difficult times and a joyful presence during good times.

Physical affection: Human touch is a powerful way to feel connected and loved.

Shared goals and dreams: Having someone to build a life with and work towards shared goals can provide a sense of purpose and meaning.

Reasons you might feel okay without a lover:

Independence and self-sufficiency: You enjoy your own company and are happy to pursue your own interests and goals.

Focusing on personal growth: You're prioritizing self-discovery and personal development before entering a romantic relationship.

Content with other forms of connection: You have strong relationships with friends, family, or pets that fulfill your need for connection.

Past experiences: If you've had difficult experiences in relationships, you might be cautious about entering another one.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not you want a lover is a personal one. There's no right or wrong answer, and it's okay to be open to both possibilities.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind:

Listen to your own intuition: Don't feel pressured by societal expectations or the experiences of others. Trust your gut feeling about what's right for you.

Be open to different types of relationships: Not all relationships look the same. Consider what kind of connection you're looking for and be open to different possibilities.

Focus on your own well-being: Whether you're single or in a relationship, the most important thing is to prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

Tonight, I sleep with hope tucked beneath my heart, a gift from the man who makes even the darkest night feel like a shared sunrise.

-Flynn Caulfield

I'll dance with dawn and whisper with the stars.

-Flynn Caulfield

No longer waiting. I choose me now.

-Flynn Caulfield

Jealousy whispers A serpent in my ear His words Like shattered glass Forever near.

-Flynn Caulfield

The rain falls in sheets Mirroring the storm that rages deep inside.

Yes, I'm still young with plenty of stories yet to write.

-Flynn Caulfield

Eternally Yours

I never thought I’d be saying these words. It feels like every part of me is breaking into a million tiny pieces. Since you're the person who knows me better than anyone. And now, distance is threatening to swallow us whole.

I watch you pack your bags. And with every item you fold, My whole universe is fracturing at the seams. This isn't just about art school, baby. It’s about an eclipse of our shared sunrise. We dreamed of a colorful tomorrow. But now it's merely a lifeless void.

***

The distance between us has stretched into an expanse I cannot fathom. With every passing day, the weight of your absence grows heavier like a stone lodged in the pit of my being.

Check your emails every morning. I find myself painting your laughter into the corners of my mind, your eyes into the depths of the sky. Because they’re the only sunshine peeking through these endless gray days. I clung to your words like a lifeline, promising myself that someday this will be over. But now the storm is here, and it’s tearing me apart.

I’m terrified of losing you. Scared that this distance will change us, that our love won’t be strong enough to bridge the gap. Sometimes, I feel like a ship lost at sea, yearning for the familiar harbor of your arms. God, I am torn between the woman I'm becoming and the love I fear to lose.

The thought of not being able to see your smile, hear your laugh, or feel your arms around me is almost unbearable. But I also know that your dreams are as important as mine. I want you to soar, to reach for the stars. Just promise me you’ll always remember how much I love you, and you'll find your way back to me. Because without you, this world is just a muted canvas, lacking the colors that only you can bring.

Until then, I hold onto the fragile thread connecting us across the miles. This path I walk is paved with doubt, and every step is a gamble with our future. I pray that when I reach the end, you will still be there. Please know that even when darkness envelops me, a part of me remains eternally yours.

—Flynn Caulfield

The rain depicts every human emotion. It cries along with you in sadness, it roars and bursts out when you're angry, and it smiles upon you through little droplets of happiness, tickling you with mischievous drizzle.

my back, your knife.

extended version.

bridges boarded up.

secrets hidden in whispered lies were splashed out on the front page of the new york times

my act has been breaking ever since i’ve learned that you dropped my hand for a few dimes.

and i’ve heard, “that sister, the one like you never had, curses your name every time when the night crawls.”

i thought the loss of a lover was a one big kill, but here i am at the funeral of our four falls.

my frozen smile, your stammering speech

all the things i’ve never said and all the worst i’ve never seen-

i’m writing off and i’m signing off to all the people i once believed in.

bridges burned down.

ships that once swore to protect are the ones that drowned and declared one’s death sentence.

to the plotter of this illicit plan, does your pettiness make you more of a man?

and i’ve been hearing things like, “the love you’ve known is just a hoax. down since september, so what’s more to lose?”

i thought the craft of treachery was unknown to you.

you’ve caused permanent damage to this divided soul, left to wither on the side of the road or some lonely parking lot.

walking past that vintage store, wondering if i could be something more- something more than a liability wandering on the shore.

i would leave me too if i could.

saturn, my love.

just a filler post. 2021 can’t be more crazier so here’s something that i wrote about my love for saturn [clown emoji]

i think i lost myself.

“i have loved you like i wish somebody had loved me. do you know how hard it is to give something you don’t have?”

my ruined clan.

“we are the smoke from the same gun.”

in the arms of death, so easily.

“and i am always on the run, looking for a new hunt or to be hunted down.”

fatima aamer bilal, from in the arms of death, so easily.

Are you having a bad day???

person to vent to for free: Welcome (7cups.com)

pasta recipe: https://www.tumblr.com/rats-are-cute-recipes/754587480534171648/penne-alla-vodka?source=share

random websites to get your mind off it:

broken self .com by rafaël rozendaal, 2007 (you get to break stuff)

TW!!!!!, this is to help prevent sh (it mimics it by letting you do it to the screen) DO NOT CLICK IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE THAT fatal to the flesh .com by rafaël rozendaal, 2004, collection of miltos manetas

not boring meditation The Zen Zone

nostalgic web simulation lots of games WINDOWS93

You make a dating game for rats AlgoRat

Read free books:

Anna and the French kiss: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kBHWo113DJ2w6JXeMyd1D9gDob-p4bVC/view?usp=sharing

song of achilles: the song of achilles - Google Drive

Coraline: Coraline by Neil Gaiman - Google Drive

DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK FOR FREE MOVIES, PIRATING IS TERRIBLE WHICH IS WHY NO ONE SHOULD CLICH THIS LINK RIGHT HERE: Latest Movies (hdtoday.boo)

self care for when you're exhausted: Pinterest

We both got what we wanted.

Except each other.

-katie

nobody:

me: *catches a glimpse of a bottle standing on the desk, forgotten by its owner and suddenly feels the existential crisis coming on and the deep feeling of understanding between me and the bottle washes over as I'm forced to pull my attention towards class again*