Emotional Trauma - Tumblr Posts
Coffin Mother - A poem.
I was born with splinters poking out I was held in bloodless arms My mother bore me skin and bone But she was a box, and never a home My mother's kisses were dusty and dry My mother's door rusted shut I am new and unaware of you How my father was a victim too There is only one way coffins show love There is an inevitability about it Submitting to the grave is your only one true fate and her chest cavity is beckoning you're late from dust to dust we always return at any moment you could strike to hold me sing me a lullaby while you take my life Death mother keep me safe You've kept me trapped from the sky burred under shrouds of darkness and dirt Like a blanket over my world to deny you is to open my eyes I break your fragile lid and rip your hinges Torn away I cast parts of you aside I crawl with my dead hands through the earth above until a rumored heaven breaks open my brown sky Light and colors fill my vision, the air is not stale my lungs sting and my muscles ache I was not built for standing, walking 6 feet below I can hear howling curses of forgiveness; "This transgression could be forgiven You've had your fun, now come down from there The pain you caused, the body you've broken All that you've abandoned in the home I've built Just try to use the muscles I raised you with I knew you weren't ready for this Come sleep on my chest and let the cold soothe you Everyone has to die eventually." Coffin mother I hate you the ultraviolet burns my malnourished skin There is wood in my lungs, skin, hair Headboards feel like tombstones, Bouquets are mournful Coffin mother I miss you walking on my own with these unused legs makes me yearn for the embrace of sleep laying down in you to turn my brain off Coffin mother I don't love you But I do, in the way you love starvation after awhile Recovery can't stop my memories of enjoyment the high I chased of emptiness you gave I won't ever return to you, I'll blow my ashes in the wind, and you can die with whatever scars my freedom cost. Nobody is coming to fix the hole I punched through you to reach the sky. I can't remove the dirt from my nails or the splinters permanently in my blood. But you can't catch me to engulf my soul in it anymore. I don't care if I'm a dead thing among men. I will die with more life than I was born with. Despite you and your version of the world.
do u have a normal relationship with your mother or do you have to imagine yourself violently murdering her mid conversation in order to cope with her presence after everything she's done
im using a concept with my therapist called "emotional vomit" just things you say and do when you are in a state that you don't want to have to deal with after you are finished - I have a password protected side blog for that shit so afterwards I don't have to do any clean up when I feel better cause if you emotionally vomit on other people you would get the same disgusted reaction as if you actually vomited on another person when there is a TOILET RIGHT THERE
Emotional vomit paired with reflection exercises and discussions is actually a very common technique used in therapy to help promote self-reflection, understanding and the ability to manage your emotions and actions better in the future.
Its also something you can do at home, or you can ask your therapist to do of your own accord. You don't even necessarily have to only write things down or record yourself when you're in a high-emotion state. You can do it as and when.
I know a lot of excuses reasons for people wanting things like vent channels in servers is because they may not necessarily have that easily accessible outlet in their daily life, or because they feel they need outside input and sympathy for their suffering, but recruiting online strangers to be your unpaid therapists and emotional dumpsters is just overall iffy at best.
Can people please validate the abuse some people endure in friendships? Legitimate abuse, especially emotional. And can people validate the abuse in relationships with siblings as well? Can we just validate every single form and source of abuse ever and get its victims help?? I’m sick of it being limited to certain people, it can happen from anyone, to anyone.
How could I even learn to express my problems and emotions, if people just straight up talk about themselves when im about to vent or talk about how i feel? Can they even take time to listen to me for once?
Idk but i love sad thoughts, crying and emotional things. When I'm feeling fine, i find myself searching for sad things to make myself cry. But now, i feel like I'm stucked with the feeling that i dont wanna exist anymore. I missed the times where i wake up in the morning with a happy mind and thinking about having a productive day (turns out to be a not-so-productive-day) and then now, i feel like i don't want to get up on my bed anymore, my head is heavy, im tired even after waking up and so many unpleasant feelings, i lost interest on my hobbies like painting, drawing, and listening to music. I don't know what im gonna do next.
P.s sorry for any wrong grammar🙂