Regulus Deserved Better - Tumblr Posts

Jegulus - Based on a post by @arcturism !

Hollow.

That was the only way to describe how he was feeling.

The emotion had always been present, ever since he was small- a nagging feeling of unfulfillment and emptiness. But he'd just chalked it up to stress, anxiety, and his childhood environment. Perhaps he was broken.

The feeling only grew, however. The fidgety, empty feeling in the pit of his stomach, an urge for something more.

He wasn't sure what it was. But it was beginning to consume him.

When he'd fist agreed to a date with James Potter, he wasn't sure why he did it. Curiosity, perhaps, or a lingering childhood crush. But as he sat in the dimly-lit restaurant, watching a nervous-looking Potter gnaw at his lip as he smiled anxiously at him, he realized he should probably feel nervous as well.

But he didn't.

Especially when, red-faced and awkward-looking, but still smiling, James reached hesitantly across the table and took his hand.

Because for the first time in such a long time, the empty feeling in Regulus's core melted away. James's gentle touch nearly knocked him over in shock, because the warmth that spread through him felt so good, so safe, that he could only smile softly and stare at their entwined hands for a few minutes, James's thumb brushing over his pale knuckles and causing more warm waves to wash over him.

"Alright, Reg?" James whispered, eyebrows raised, probably wondering if he'd been wrong to grab his hand.

But Regulus just sighed softly and sent him a smile. "Yeah. M'good." Because the realization had just hit him: nobody (besides Sirius) had ever touched him in this way- with loving gentleness and kindness in their eyes.

He wanted to bask in the glow of it forever.

regulus was scared.

scared of confronting his parents. scared of being left behind. scared of the world.

scared of opening up to people.

even though he had this though and mean facade he would open up really quick to someone until the point where he was overwhelming.

he just wanted someone to listen to him. and when he thought he found someone he would say all the things that he wanted.

but he was considered too much. he was too much for people to handle.

he was a storm. he was a hurricane of feelings, so when he lost control he knew it was going to end up bad. he knew he was going to bore people around him.

even knowing that, he would vomit all the random information he had. deeply hoping inside of him that people didn't leave him after seeing how he truly was.

how childish, pleaser and lonely he was. how he would keep all his feelings hidden from others. how raw these were.

but each time they would leave him, and each time he would try to avoid these situations again but he couldn't help it.

so yeah.

regulus was scared.

not from the dark, not from death.

regulus was scared

of lost childish dreams of a found family.

regulus was scared

of being completely unbearable and repulsive to others.

he wasn't scared of being alone.

not at all.

he was just scared.

he has been scared all his life.

he has always been scared since

the only thing he could have for sure

and be only his

was fear.

sitting down in the floor, book between his crossed legs, messy hair from pulling it until it hurt and red scratches through his arms with the shape of his nails, regulus was studying.

he wasn't naturally smart like sirius or enjoyed studying like evan. he was him and that wasn't enough.

not enough for him, not enough for his parents and apparently not enough for sirius.

he would plan a perfect timetable but couldn't stick to it, he wasn't dumb but neither clever. he was in a limbo in between.

always in a grey spot, never declaring his opinions about anything: "if it doesn't affect me, it doesn't matter" he would say. but it did affect him. the pressure of joining the dark Lord, of meeting his parents expectations, and failure.

failure

that word made his insides itch to the point where he would want to take a knife and scratch this guts until it stopped itching.

so there he is, sitting down in the floor next to his bed, book between his legs and eyes surrounded by dark eyebags, with only the sound of his empty stomach making him company.

maybe he should stop trying but he would kill himself before stopping actively to destroy himself.

looking at the roof over his head he would think: "slytherins have a reputation of self preservation but I don't, am I good now for you, sirius?"

star - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 278 - thanks, @starchasersunseeker and @beautyoftheships for helping me with the writer's block!

Regulus had never liked his name.

It connected him to his family, to one of many “Ancient and Noble Traditions.” Almost everyone he was related to, after all, was named after a star.

On top of that, his name was…clunky, at best. Too long and strange and not attractive, in his opinion. It wasn’t strong or intimidating. He hated it.

At school he allowed his friends to call him “Reg” and Pandora was allowed to call him “Reggie,” but he still hated the name, still wished he was named something else.

Until the day James Potter ran up to him in the middle of the Great Hall, almost panting, grinning like he’d just won the lottery. 

“Reg!” he gasped, beaming. “Guess what Remus told me?”

“What did he tell you, James?” Regulus asked, trying and failing to keep a straight face, instead smiling a bit at the adorable way James seemed so excited about whatever he had to say.

“Your name! D’you know what it means?”

Regulus shrugged, feeling less happy, now. “Yeah. Why?”

James just grinned. “It’s the heart of the Leo constellation!”

“Yes, James, I know,” Regulus nodded, trying not to sound exasperated, waiting for the point.

“Well, Leo is a lion, right?” James asked, looking a bit put out that Regulus hadn’t immediately understood his point. 

“Yes?”

“And Gryffindor’s mascot is a lion, right?”

“Yes?”

“So,” James said, like he was explaining an easy concept to a small child. “I’m a Gryffindor. You’re Regulus," he paused. "You’re my heart.” And he broke into a beaming grin, eyes wide as saucers, hands holding both of Regulus’s. 

And oh. 

Regulus never had an issue with his name again.

*sirius and regulus end up in the same battle*

sirius: REGGIE, IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME

regulus: the fuck are you doing here?

sirius: *grabbing his brother's arm* c'mon, you gotta get to bed

regulus: *confused but follows sirius* okay?

the best decision that the marauders fandom collectively made was fancasting timothee chalamet as regulus black.

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course I’m going to make it obvious that I’m sad and get sadder when no one notices

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course I can’t ask for help even though I’m obviously struggling

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course I pretend to be better than everyone, but I know deep down, I wish I was like everyone else

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course I’ve been burnt out since six

Im a Regulus kinnie, of course I rot in bed during the weekends

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course I love the song Black Friday by Tom Odell

Im a Regulus kinnie, of course my search history is secretly filled with fanfics

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course me and my sibling are on a rough path.

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course I have abandonment issues.

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course I’m sarcastic.

Im a Regulus kinnie, of course I’m going to be the embodiment of a black cat.

I’m a Regulus Kinnie, of course I want a golden retriever partner.

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course I’m learning French.

I’m a Regulus kinnie, of course my family loves the fake version of me.

I’m a Regulus kinnie, if you go through my notes app, I’ll die.

Regulus: “Do you want to sleep together?”

James: *Shocked and flustered.* “Oh! Yes please. My dorm or yours?”

Regulus: “We can do it at mine. 9PM, sharp don’t be late.”

James: “Yes love.”

*EXACTLY AT 9PM*

*James knocking on the door with a crop top and gray sweatpants. Spraying some cologne he stole from Sirius*

Regulus: “It’s open!”

James walking in and immediately sitting on the edge of the bed: “How do you want to start this?”

Regulus: “Just lay down.”

James: *Already doing what Regulus said.* “Then what?”

Regulus laying beside him and putting his head on his chest: “Alright goodnight.”

James: “What? I thought we were sleeping together?”

Regulus: “We are?”

James: “You gave me the wrong idea!”

Regulus understanding why he got confused: “Oh. That’s later.”

James: “What?!”

Regulus has low iron deficiency.

Don’t ask

I just know.

Regulus reading Sylvia Plath:

James reading Dr. Seuss beside him:

IMAGINE

Regulus and James adopting Harry, and teaching him both Spanish and French. Harry changes between languages to talk to either of his parents.

-

(I used google translate, sorry to the people who are fluent.)

Harry talking to James: “¡Papá, quiero ir al mundo muggle y conseguir legos!”

Harry talking to Regulus: “Papa Regulus, pourquoi papa James t'appelle-t-il petite fille ?”

-

Harry’s language when talking to Sirius:

Harry talking to Sirius: “Then Draco tells me I shouldn’t wear yellow because it isn’t my color? Then I said, that platinum blond don’t fit you either.”

*Harry also having hot pink sunglasses, a feather scarf, that he got from Sirius.*

Sirius nodding in agreement while painting Harry’s nails.: “You tell him baby.”

*Sirius also having the same exact outfit Harry has on.*

-

Headcannon: (Modern AU) when James doesn’t have quidditch, he sleeps in. So Regulus modifies his alarms for him.

James Potter is The smiths version of Please, Please, Please let me get what i want.

Regulus is the Deftones version of Please Please let me get what I want.

I SAID WHAT I SAID1

Haunted by Taylor Swift, but it’s James perspective on Regulus breaking up with him because he got the dark mark.

NOT MY USUAL POST BUT I JUST FELT LIKE POSTING ME YOU LNOW? (this is 2023 Bree 😔 the year she found out wolfstar was cannon.)

Astronomy but it’s the Black Brothers.

(besides the lyrics about teenage love 💀)

Vampire

My lips are filled with blood

And I want to kiss you

The kiss is a tragedy I love

I want to feel your virgin lips on mine

The lips I crave are pure

But you don’t want to kiss me

Because I am dirty

I lick my lips trying to soak the blood up

But you don’t care

I’m trying to be someone I’m not

I’m trying to be clean

But you don’t care you want clean lips

I continue to wipe away the blood I once loved

You push me away and say I don’t like your past

Please just one kiss, one kiss

You shake your head and scream when I get close

I walk away looking in the mirror asking why I was born with blood

I wanted to be pure

Pure, sweet, angelic, and full of viridity

I prayed to the gods above, asking to be pure like you

I had to paint my lips with holy water to kiss you

You told me you wanted to runaway

Why love? Why?

You pointed at me and my bloody body

I screamed and begged at your feet to not leave me

It is not my fault I am bloody

They made me like this

My lips covered in curses I did not wish to have

My hands covered in blood that was not mine

I scream at you please don’t leave me like the dog I am

You walk away and tell me to wash up

Please stay

Stay with me, I’ll bathe in sunlight and holy water to be with you love

That wasn’t enough

I smear blood onto my thighs

You yell at me to clean myself up

Can you clean me up?

Can you?

I don’t know how

Nobody had ever taught me how to be pure and sweet

I was only taught how to crave blood

I was only taught how to be weapon

Please Angel, let me be

You shout and walk away

The moment you leave me

I find a new fresh blood patch on my heart

Why couldn’t I be pure like you?

I am tired of being solivagant

You were my hit of kalopsia

I could only kiss you if I dipped my hands and lips in holy water

And yet you still called me disgusting

My love, my angel

You are too sweet for me

- a poem made by me.

But why is this Jegulus vampire au coded.

Sirius: What did you ever sacrifice?

Regulus: I gave everything, I gave my whole life

Sirius: You died trying to betray the dark Lord that you worshiped wohoo

Regulus: I'm not talking about my death, I'm talking about my life. I gave my whole life.

Sirius:...

Regulus: I stayed when you wanted to leave. I received your burden, and if I had escaped too, they would have hunted you

Regulus: So, Yes, Sirius, I gave my whole life

Whyyyy 😭😭😭

what if reg wasn't closed off and quietly depressed until sirius left

This one of the saddest parts of his story, tbh

The year regulus black died:

the year pool noodles were invented:

….

Why couldn't he just wait a year??