The Insomniac Archives - Tumblr Posts - Page 4

Autistic loneliness is so unbearably complicated.

The craving of wanting a warm and cosy relationship eats you up but the repulsion towards opening up about yourself always lingers like a sheen of invisible frost.

A kaleidoscope of secrets lies under your skin that begs to be released but is not made for the horrors of the outside world. It's too bright, too weird, too different for others to understand it. So it remains caged within, festering and crumbling under the barely-there weight of emptiness.

Regardless of how well you can mutilate and crimp yourself into a more-palatable human form, you'll always be that outsider who almost doesn't fit the guidelines of a regular human.

I got Vanya! :D

Link to the quiz:

I love flower symbolism, I love sun & moon symbolism, I love colour symbolism, I love animal symbolism, I love religious and mythological symbolism, I love

My gender is a void, a void containing a myriad of swirling galaxies, pulsing nebulae and white-hot quasars. Just like the universe, it's true identity can never be known by myself, much less anyone who has never experienced it

Oh, to be a cryptid somewhere between 'eldritch horror with too many eyes to count' and 'ethereal being composed of constellations and moonlight' who lives deep in the woods in an old and abandoned library

Books that explore the intricacies of the human psyche are my jam. I love reading books that contain passages so deep and understanding of the way you tick that you have to put the book down and breathe for a moment because mere ink from the pen of a person who lived and died centuries before you just ripped your innards out for all the world to gaze at

Sometimes I wish that people would learn the difference between sex-repulsion and sex-negativity

i wish i had a window seat with lots of pillows that i could sit in and drink tea and read books in and watch the rain in

Places That I've Seen Several Times in My Dreams

-A creepy old hotel that gives me The Backrooms vibes with a fancy red carpet and dim lighting + I'm always accompanied by a dog for some reason

-A cramped wooden house/cabin with harsh yellow lights and the creepy feeling that you are being watched

-A park where it always seems like it had been raining a few moments ago

-A place that seems like a combination of a dilapidated building and Hogwarts that gives off gothic and dark academia vibes

-My old school during Christmastime

-A dilapidated mall with a working cinema

Sometimes I call myself NBLW and then I remember that I'm aroace

Me when I see the moon: That's a nice boulder, I like that boulder

Just remembered the time when I wrote an entire article on living fossils on Word on the family tablet instead of doing Regular Nine Year Old Train Journey Stuff. The autism was definitely going strong in me back then

"Love is what makes us human" Wrong, my ability to write poetry about the moon is what makes me human

With great boredom comes great irresponsibility

"My child is fine-"

Your child is so lonely and emotionally numb that they cope by living in a dream world to the point where they are terrified of living in reality itself

I don't believe in superstitions but when I saw the moon spilling its bloody light over the water, I could almost understand what the ancients must've felt like to see a blood-soaked pearl watching their every move

Everyone who is saying "Isn't that just love, OP?" is absolutely right, I have a stronger relationship with the moon than I do with other human beings

"Love is what makes us human" Wrong, my ability to write poetry about the moon is what makes me human

Is there a word for that feeling you get when you look out of the window and it's not exactly dark but not exactly day either. The bare branches of a cherry blossom tree are skeletal against the blue-grey sky and a lone bird's singing is all that pierces the silence. There's some nostalgia clinging to this sacred moment but you don't know why you have it or where you first felt it

I've read a lot of stories with humanoid gods and eldritch demons but none of the opposite.

I want to read about benevolent and kind gods whose appearance is so terrifying and indescribable that it drives people into fearful insanity, gods who don't even seem to conform to human standards of divinity; gods who strike fear into friend, foe and worshipper alike.

I want to read about demons who don't look like demons but are more human instead, demons who may not have an eldritch form but can still strike fear into the hearts of people, demons who literally embody the quote, "The Devil comes as everything you've ever wished for."

There's nothing a nice cup of chai can't fix