Tw Religious Trauma - Tumblr Posts
Missed after her death. Desired after her image. Brought to be your savior.
Melora.
Lie awake. I sleep awake.
I go to sleep with all my lights turned on so I don’t slip away.
I stay awake.
Mother mother- Sleep Awake
“the average system has multiple religious trauma holders” factoid is actually a statistical error. average system has one religious trauma holder. clockwork constellation, who lived through christianity and has at least 6, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
‘Nightcrawler’ seems to be feeding into the demonic stigma that Kurt faces.
In personal experiences, demons have always been creatures of the night. They ‘fear the light of the Lord’, as is said in the Bible. Their dealings are shadowed in darkness, and they are coated in flames of righteous fury in Hell. They stench of sulfur and brimstone, associating them with a putrid yellow and a furious red. They have been depicted as having pointed tails and horns in media, also sometimes possessing anthropomorphic qualities like a goat’s eyes or legs. Kurt may not have horns, but he has the tail, often the anthropomorphic hands, feet, and legs, and those pure yellow eyes. His main color is blue, yes but there’s also that red and yellow- both colors associated with something vile and evil. And many monsters in literate media are described to be clambering or ‘crawling’ towards unsuspecting humans. And when Kurt fights, he often ‘crawls’ towards his enemies when he’s not ‘banf’ing around. And the white gloves and shoes come off as him trying to ‘purify’ his touch, like a priest or the Pope who both wear white. The color is associated with purity and beauty, and Heaven in some Christian beliefs, and Kurt is catholic. He seems to be attempting to distance himself from demonic imagery and his father Azazel as much as he can, considering what the man has done and how he seems even more like a demon than Kurt both in name and appearance, turning to God and religion in the process. And yet, Xavier turns all that away and keeps that name given to him by the circus and gives him a uniform that feed more into that demonic imagery.
Though the name didn’t originate with Xavier, his choice to keep it for Kurt has always felt a bit off and almost capitalizing off the imagery to maintain control.
Review: Things That Were Broken (Everything That Dies, Book 1) By Will Tyler
Before I get into today’s review, some trigger warnings are a must. This book contains multiple graphic depictions of suicide, self harm, rape, conversion therapy, and child abuse. This read is not for the faint of heart.
Michael and Leah run an interpretive dance class at their local youth centre. One night, they get a message from one of the classes’ attendees, Cameron, who is on the verge of suicide. Michael and Leah go after Cameron in the hopes of talking him down from his suicide attempt, and reminding why life is worth living. Cue the rest of the book.
First of all, I understand why this book was written. The author has a very deep understanding of religious trauma, especially religious trauma stemming from sexual abuse and conversion therapy, and the individual traumas of the characters were things that many people who faced religious trauma will be able to relate to. The subject matter is handled with grace and sensitivity, which I think that many people will appreciate. However, the book just wasn’t for me. I found myself repeatedly skipping pages because the constant vivid descriptions of the characters’ trauma were too much for my taste. All of the characters had a never-ending trauma conga line, and there was nothing to balance it out, and the emotional impact that their trauma should have had on me just wasn’t there because of it. The characters felt one-dimensional, and like their only defining features were their respective traumas, and their dance group. I understand that these things happen in real life, but this is fiction, and I would have preferred to see the characters properly fleshed out so that I could care more about them, and in turn, care about their traumas. I’m also confused as to when this book takes place—It was released in 2021, but the characters use flip phones and communicate in text speak with them, which seems to suggest that the setting of the book is in the early 2000s.
I know that this book will be extremely important to people, especially those with religious trauma, but it wasn’t for me, and I will not be reading any more books in this series. If you’d like to check it out for yourself, however, you can find it below on Goodreads, where you can be redirected to the right Amazon page for your country:
Sundays always got that trauma energy about them still
15 ways toxic religion does damage in our world:
1. The hypocrisy of claiming to know God but demeaning people.
2. Disparaging practitioners of other faiths as a sign of devotion to yours.
3. Casting judgment upon others while giving yourself a pass.
4. Dividing the world up into “us” and “them”.
5. Fostering fear of God.
6. Telling people they are inherently bad.
7. Repressing individuality and demanding conformity.
8. Casting disapproval on those who question.
9. Perpetuating a superiority class structure of “clergy” and “laity”.
10. A performance-based system of earning God’s love and approval.
11. Assigning maleness to God and esteeming men over women.
12. Allowing differences of beliefs to prevent working alongside others to alleviate suffering in our world.
13. Praying for divine intervention without taking direct action.
14. Claiming a close relationship with God while perpetuating discord and hostility in human relationships.
15. Using religious beliefs to rationalize or justify hate, violence, injustice, oppression, discord, the affliction of human or planetary suffering.
Jim Palmer
muffinsposting on main!?!?!?!??
so i'm a pretty longtime fan of the My Little Pony grimdark fanfic 'Muffins' (by an author i will not name for drama-related reasons. you can easily find it if you look it up, but i ask that you please do not discuss any drama related to them on this post), and i really like the character of Minkie Pie. in the story, she's Pinkie Pie's eldest sister, along with Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie (maud doesn't exist rip maud). Minkie is her long lost sister who was trapped in a cellar since she was a filly and thus never developed a proper childhood. she's a very quiet and creepy mare who has a lot of passion for endgaming other ponies in the most overly violent ways possible. she has a very pretty design and i've always liked how creepy and timid she is.
she's always been a favourite of mine, but because of the fanfic's poor writing and general issues with Minkie's original character, people have been creating rewrites and redesigns and i thought i should make my own as well! i haven't gotten to properly drawing her yet, but here is a rough sketch of my Minkie redesign, 'Moonstone Pie'!!
this is Moonstone! she's a tall, slim earth pony who is very shy, timid and lacks a lot of crucial social skills. she bears a lot of religious trauma on her shoulders and has issues with properly trusting other ponies, but she's a really sweet pony once she feels like she can trust someone. she's named after a real rock of the same name, similar to how Minkie's birth name is Obsidian. i haven't gotten her special talent and stuff figured out yet since i've been mainly working on her design and backstory, but here she is :) i'm really proud of her and i'm really excited to develop her more as a character!!
her proper appearance is as follows:
Hide: a dark blue-grey sort of colour, with a white fade at her hooves. the sketch doesn't reflect it but Moonstone has peculiar black and white splotches on her fur all down her back that make her look like the night sky.
Mane: a very very dark purple that looks black in the dark. it's very long and straight, with a long fringe covering her left eye. one side of her mane and her tail are tied with thin black ribbons.
Eyes: her eyes are green, but change depending on what point of the story she's in. for example, when she was a child, her eyes were a bright Applejack-green to symbolise her innocence, but after being rescued from the cellar, they are faded and hollow.
Cutie Mark: a black key with a bow in the shape of two wings. this symbolises freedom and being able to unlock herself and fly free from her trauma.
Accessories: black ribbons that are tied to her hair and also hang loosely in it. she also wears a white dress collar.
her rough backstory is under the cut, though i'd like to give a warning that there are (albeit brief) mentions of religious trauma and parental abuse, as well as it being pretty dark. if that makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to read it and you're free to click off and go look at something nice and wholesome!! please take care of yourself :)
i don't have too much of her backstory done yet, so this is mainly a draft, but basically, Moonstone was raised in a cult that's something like The Family International and Jehovah's Witnesses put together. her parents, Cloudy Quartz and Igneous Rock, were very strict with her and would often enact bizarre punishments several incidents related to Moonstone's behaviour occurred, to which her mother, Cloudy Quartz (Pinkie's canonical mother), deemed her a devil and shunned her away into a cellar, where she would spend a majority of her life up until Cloudy "mysteriously disappears" one day.
Moonstone, having been heavily traumatised and weakened from being neglected in the cellar for so many years, is in a state of near-death and delirium. just when it seems like Moonstone is about to kick the bucket, the door opens, and she sees two figures obscured by the sunlight standing at the top of the stairs. she thinks these are angels coming to take her to salvation, but they are actually her sisters Inkie and Blinkie, who just before had literally sent Cloudy plummeting off a cliff until she went splat. Moonstone faints, and after a couple comatose weeks, is introduced into a new "family" run by Pinkie, Inkie, Blinkie and their newest victim recruit, Derpy Hooves. little does Moonstone know, however, is that she has just been dragged into another cult, one that takes ponies and turns them into baked goods in a not-so-cheery way. she basically gets indoctrinated again by ponies who are close to her and manipulate her by giving her a loving family and a stable place to stay. i want to portray Pinkie's baking group as something that's way more sinister than it's portrayed in the original Muffins because i feel like it doesn't address the mental strain it has on the bakers as much as it probably would be. the baker's cult portray themselves as a happy-go-lucky batch of bakers who love each other, but there's really a shitton of distrust and fear between the members of the cult. Moonstone and Derpy later realise this, and agree to escape together as newfound adopted sisters. this is a story about colourful horses by the way- 💀
at the end of the story, her and Derpy end up escaping, and this is when Moonstone finally gets her cutie mark; a key with a pair of wings symbolising her newfound freedom. OG Minkie's cutie mark is a lock, but i didn't really like the message that it represented and felt it didn't make that much sense for Minkie's character, and the concept of a pony getting their cutie mark late is interesting, so Moonstone gets a cutie mark that represents her destiny to finally break free and unlock her true self :)
and that's pretty much Moonstone's character! i'll probably make a proper colour palette for her in the future and i'll see how her character goes if i develop her further. this post isn't confirmation that i'm definitely doing a Muffins rewrite, but i thought giving a different twist on Minkie's character while trying to stay true to the original would be interesting and fun.
a couple other facts about Moonstone:
the ribbons in her hair change colours based on her state in the story. for example, when she was a little kid, her ribbons were white to symbolise her innocence. she later wears black when Moonstone got dragged into the baking cult to symbolise her further dwindling mental state and the horrible situation she was in, basically symbolising how she became a harbinger of death and agony. and at the end, she wears white again to symbolise her newfound freedom and a hope to regain her innocence and happiness now that she is truly free. they also become more flowy when she's wearing white, rather than the viney swirl down her hair when she wears black.
i was originally gonna have Moonstone's cutie mark be something like a wing in chains or a ball of light breaking through black chains, but they felt a little too on the nose. i do like the light breaking through chains idea though :)
thanks for reading all this way :) as mentioned before, please do not use this post to discuss any drama relating to the original author in the replies or reblogs. please also refrain from mentioning the name of the author as well as i fear it would just stir things up. i don't want my blog to become a place of drama, i just want to share my silly little ideas about creepy girl horse :P
GORETOBER DAY 5: NOSEBLEED
"I know I'm going to hell, you don't have to keep yelling it at me"
Submitted four poems into various competitions today!
here's a snippet from one of them
// mentions/implications of sexual abuse in religious contexts //
but if God exists i'd like to hit him in the head for old habits die hard and being in his house causes my body to shake and my heart to palpitate for his memory lies in the organ the screams fuel the song of silence and the pipes swell twice their size ~ If God Exists (2024)
tw religion & csa
Pastor, pastor please Why are you taking off your jeans? And your best Sunday shoes To show me what's underneath? There's still people in the pews And my mom's in the other room I don't know what you want me to do But she told me to listen to you Pastor, pastor please I'm only nine you're fifty-two And I thought you didn't believe That gays could be Christian too Listen, listen, listen I swear this won't take long If you think this is right Then I'm fine with being wrong
New writing for once
Mini-fic of Gabe vs V1, retelling of 6-2
Inspired by a post by @muzzleroars about the Vs having their brain in the chest
‘‘i hadn’t understood at the time if sinners were so unhappy, why would they prefer their suffering? but now i knew why. without my wounds, who was i? my scars were my face, my past was my life.’’
— janet fitch - ‘‘white oleander’’
I can't walk into a church anymore,
For when I do I weep.
Because the god I see there has been shackled
Just like me.
I don't know if fallen angel kins count as deitykins, so idk if I count as a deitykin. But I'm alright with interacting with deitykins. I just might be slightly hesitant, mostly cause I am agnostic and have religious trauma (around Christianity).
- Vesper Lucian (They/it) [fallen angel kin name]
I’m really curious about the alterhuman/otherkin communit(ie)’s opinion on deitykins/godkins, and if there’s more information of the topic, aince I rarely seem to see much of anything about it. It may as well be time for my next poll for this scenario!