Heartfelt - Tumblr Posts
"I can’t do this, Sam." "I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are."
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) dir. Peter Jackson
Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
No other name falling off my lips
Don’t wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
I won’t, I won’t, I swear I can’t
I wish I could but I just won’t
I’ll never love again
I’ll never love
Again
Life is like a piano.
The white keys represents happiness and the black keys show sadness.
But as you go through life’s journey, remember that the black keys also make music.
AND LOVE!
Don't ever be embarrassed about the love you give. Don't ever be ashamed of saying too much, for feeling too deeply, for being the one that cares more.
There is no braver endeavor than giving affection. There is no stronger pursuit than showing passion.
Which is why I choose to block at least 90% of the people that send me hate.
I don't have time to allow them to stamp all over my life, like they seem to think they can.
It's a matter of perspective, because you can allow them the satisfaction of bothering you- or you can choose happiness.
After eight years of experience, there's nothing these people hate more- than when you choose to shrug them off and pretend they don't exist.
React to nothing and respond to very few, if any ~
The older you get, the more you choose calmness over drama and distance over disrespect. You prioritize your peace, mental health, and happiness - over everything.
Letting people be wrong about you or a situation while keeping your peace and focus is the most misunderstood power move you will ever make.
Don't make the mistake of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook the fact that you're being disrespected.
Two Years│ OPLA! Shanks x f!reader
A/N: Phew, my obsession with this man is getting out of hand... More than six thousand words—this is crazy 😭 I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did! Summary: It's been two years since you disappeared, and Shanks finally gets close to finding you. Word Count: 6.1K Warnings: English isn't my first language; mentions of kidnapping; crying; reader gets humiliated; swear words; pet names (love); one character that I made up for the purpose of this story
Two years. That's how long Shanks has been looking for you. Two tedious years that he spent thinking, searching, worrying. There were times when he wanted to give up, too tired to do anything, but he knew he couldn't. He knew you were there somewhere, waiting for him. He knew you were counting on him to come and bring you back home.
He would never leave you. As long as there was even a small chance of finding you, he'd never stop trying. But it was getting harder and harder for him. The false information that would always lead him nowhere, the people lying to him, the thought of you being God knows where, probably hurting, and him not being able to help you kept him awake at night.
He wanted you back at his side, safe and sound, laughing at his silly jokes. He wanted to wrap his hands around you and never let you go. He wanted to kiss you; to have you as close to him as possible. He wanted to see you sit on the porch of your house, waiting for him to come back home.
That's where you were supposed to be two years ago. He was so excited to finally see you that he practically ran to your house. But all he found were empty rooms that would remain empty for the next twenty-four months. At first he didn't think anything of it, but when the minutes without you turned into hours and the hours turned into days, he knew something was wrong.
For a moment, he thought that maybe you left on purpose. Maybe you got tired of waiting for him; maybe you found someone else and decided to start a new life. But that idea disappeared as quickly as it appeared. He cursed himself for even thinking that in the first place.
He knew you'd never do that. You loved each other too much. You would never leave him. And that meant that something happened to you. As soon as he realized this, he put the entire crew on their feet. They have searched every little corner of your village. They asked almost every single person about you. Nothing. No one knew anything, or they didn't want to say anything.
And it was then that Shanks swore to himself and to you, wherever you were, that he would do anything to find you. He'd bring you home to him, where you belonged. No matter what.
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"Okay, let's go through this one more time." Benn asked, leaning back in his chair. "We have a case of disappearances all around this side of the coast, but how exactly does that connect to Y/N? We're weeks away from her hometown. How do you know that the same people who kidnapped others around here also took her?"
"I don't." Shanks sighed, staring at the maps laid out in front of him. "But what I do know is that it's the first solid clue I got in weeks, and if it may lead me to Y/N, then I'm going to investigate it."
Benn turned his head to look at his captain, and it took everything in him not to frown at his sight. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his orbits were pretty much empty. He looked as if every single emotion had been shaken out of him. He was obviously tired, and the worry was slowly wearing him down. Benn knew they had to find you as fast as possible, not only for your own good but also for Shanks'. A few more months without you, and his captain might lose it. But it was easier said than done.
"I know, boss." Benn nodded. "I'm on your side in this, and you can count on me. I'll always help you. But I just don't want you to set your mind on this too strongly. She disappeared two years ago, miles and miles away from here. She could be anywhere. If she's close, we're lucky. But if she's not... I don't want you to break down." He said gently, reaching for the bottle of rum standing on the table.
"I won't." Shanks answered quietly, keeping his eyes on the map. "I can't. She's waiting for me, and I'm gonna find her. Whatever it takes."
"Whatever it takes." Benn raised his glass and then brought it to his lips.
Suddenly, the door opened, and Yasopp walked in.
"Captain!" He called out, coming closer to the table. "I've got something."
"Speak." Shanks ordered shortly, straightening in his seat.
"We asked around, and people didn't really want to talk." He admitted, sitting down. "But a few that did all said the same thing. The mayor here, Crane or something like that, is controlling everything that goes on in this town and in the miles around it. If anybody knows something about these kidnappings, it's him."
"Where can I find him?" Shanks asked, feeling a spark of hope ignite in his heart, though his face remained serious.
"He lives out of town. That big ass mansion we passed by, it's his." Yasopp informed him, pouring himself a glass of rum as well.
Shanks knew he was going to pay that man a visit, but he still turned to Benn, wanting his opinion.
"What do you think?"
"I say go for it." Benn nodded. "It's the closest we've gotten to something in weeks."
"Let's hope mayor Crane accepts guests, 'cause he's gonna have one tomarrow." Shanks sighed, taking a sip of his own drink.
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It was an early evening the next day when Shanks and Benn made their way to the mayor's house. When they reached the residence, they were met with a closed gate guarded by two men who would not let them pass.
"The mayor isn't accepting residents today." One of the guards said, putting his hand on the handle of his sword to emphasize his point.
"For the hundredth time, we're not residents here." Shanks said calmly, ignoring the arising anger within him. "I'm here to talk business. Go inside and tell your mayor that a man named Shanks wants to talk with him."
"We're not leaving until we get an answer from the mayor himself." Benn added, backing his captain up.
The guards exchanged looks for a moment, as if they wanted to communicate telepathically, when one of them finally moved and started heading towards the mansion.
"That's a lot of security for a mayor." Shanks noticed after a few minutes, looking around the premises.
Apart from the two men guarding the gate, there were around a dozen others scattered all around the place. Some of them were armed with swords, others with guns. The house looked more like a fortress than an ordinary mayor's residence.
"Yhym." Benn nodded. "Something tells me he's much more than a mayor." He whispered, leaning closer to Shanks so only he could hear him.
"I guess we're about to find out." Shanks motioned with his head to the guard walking out of the house.
"You may come in." The man said, when he reached the gate. "Alone." He added, looking straight at Shanks.
"I'll wait here." Benn promised, taking a step back. "Good luck." He patted his captain gently on the back with a reassuring smile plastered on his face.
"Yeah, thanks." Shanks nodded and went through the gate.
Just as much as he didn't want to, he cringed slightly when he heard the gate closing behind him. Something told him there was much more to the mayor than you could see at first glance. He followed the guard inside the house. He felt closer to you than ever, and he was going to risk it all if it meant getting you back.
When they walked inside, he was not surprised by the luxury furniture, the carpeted floors, the tapestries on the walls, and the crystal chandeliers. He knew the mayor was wealthy; he was a politician after all, but even politicians didn't have that much money. Whatever the mayor was doing on the side, it was clearly paying off.
He was taken to a huge dining room. There was a long table right in the middle, and a man was waiting for him on one of the sides, sitting on the biggest chair. It was an older man, obviously rich and definitely not starving, in contrast to some of his residents. He had an unsettling smile on his face, and he didn't stand up to welcome his guest.
"You must be Shanks." He quirked an eyebrow at him and then turned to the guard. "You may leave us."
"You must be mayor Crane." Shanks bowed his head stiffly and came up to the table.
He sat down without an invitation, right on the other side of the table, so he could be fully facing him. Shanks knew how to be respectful, and he knew the rules of how to act at a fancy dinner, but he wasn't going to apply them in that situation. It was as clear as day that the man in front of him was not a good person. Besides, he fully believed that respect should be earned and not expected.
"I must admit it's bold of you to come here when your bounty poster is plastered all over my town." Crane grinned, trying to hide his annoyance with his guest's lack of manners.
"Well, something tells me that if you wanted the marines to have me, they'd already be here." Shanks shrugged his shoulders. "It's not like I've been hiding."
The mayor chuckled at his words.
"Like I said, bold." He nodded. "I was just curious about you; that's why I let you come. I was wondering, what could you possibly offer me that would be worth more than the money for your head?"
"I'm not here to offer you anything." Shanks shook his head. "I'm looking for some information, and I was hoping you could help me." He admitted, looking around the room.
He noticed a servant standing in the shadow behind the mayor, right next to the door that he thought led to the kitchen. He could smell a nice scent of something cooking in the air.
"Information costs." Crane warned him, the smile disappearing from his face.
"I'm sure it does." Shanks said, returning his eyes to the mayor. "I'm here to..." He didn't get to finish his sentence because the mayor interrupted him.
"I was just about to eat dinner." He informed him. "Would you care to join me?"
"Does it cost something too?" Shanks couldn't help but make a snide remark.
Crane once again laughed at his words but didn't comment on them. Instead, he turned in his seat to address his servant.
"Tell the kitchen we're ready to eat, and then pour this gentleman some wine."
"Yes, sir." The man nodded and then disappeared behind the door.
"I don't want to be rude, but I'm really pressed for time." Shanks admitted, slowly starting to get tired of this exchange.
He wanted to find you. That's why he came there in the first place. He could've gotten the information he needed at the very beginning, but he got caught up in this mutual incitement instead.
"Don't worry, we will talk." Crane waved his hand nonchalantly. "I'd rather get to know you more before I say something. I don't do business with strangers."
"That's not a very good strategy, now, is it?" Shanks asked, leaning back in his chair, so the servant could pour the wine into his glass. "Thank you." He nodded.
"It is, when it's information that you sell." The mayor tilted his head to the side, as if he wanted to read Shanks' mind. "I need to know I can trust you before I say anything."
"You don't even know what I want to ask about." Shanks sighed, swirling the glass in his hand. "Besides, how can I know I can trust you?"
"You can't." Crane shrugged his shoulders.
Shanks took a deep breath, trying to calm down his nerves. He didn't get to do anything else because the door to the kitchen opened and people started walking in, carrying trays with food and drinks. Silence fell upon the two men when the servants started putting the dishes down on the table. Shanks wondered why there was so much food for only two people, but he figured it was normal in rich households. Food was never a problem for them.
All of a sudden, he heard a loud crash from under the kitchen door, as if an entire plate had fallen to the floor and broken into pieces. He turned his head to see what happened, and his heart stopped. You were standing there, your hands shaking, staring straight at him. There were pieces of porcelain and food all around your feet. Before he could somehow react, Crane's voice cut the air.
"What did you do?!" He asked loudly, standing up.
You immediately crouched down and started picking up the pieces. You managed to keep your composure, but you could barely control your pounding heart. Tears appeared in your eyes, against your will. You wanted to drop everything and run into Shanks' arms, but you knew you couldn't. You had to act like it was an accident that had nothing to do with him.
It took everything in Shanks to not get up from the table. He did feel as if he was getting closer to you, but he did not expect you to be in the mayor's house. His thoughts were racing in his head as he tried to figure out what to do next. He had to push away his desire to strangle Crane with his bare hands right then and there. He was the one who had you all this time... Shanks came to him for information, and instead he found you. It all felt like a fever dream.
"I'm sorry." You said, your voice shaking as you picked up the pieces. "It slipped out of my hand."
"What are we supposed to eat now?" Crane raised his voice even more, coming up to you. "You can't do anything!" He added, kicking the pieces away from your shaking fingers.
Shanks' blood boiled in his veins, and he wanted nothing more than to stand up and beat the shit out of that man. If the situation were any different, he would never let him disrespect you like that, but considering the circumstances, Shanks knew he had to stay in his seat and act like nothing unusual had happened. Otherwise, you'd both be in danger.
"There's enough food on the table." He said as calmly as possible, gripping the armrests of his chair. "It's okay."
"No, it's not okay." Crane shook his head. "You're not getting dinner for that tonight; you understand?" He asked you, squeezing your arm as you had already gotten up from the floor.
"I understand." You whispered, and after you gave Shanks a last frigthened glance, you returned to the kitchen.
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When Shanks walked out of the mayor's house, it was already dark outside. After everything that happened, he had to come up with some new story on the spot that was believeable enough for Crane to buy it. It was hard for him since he couldn't stop thinking about you and about what could possibly happen to you for dropping that plate apart from going to sleep hungry. He'd already forgotten what he and the mayor talked about, but he didn't care anymore. He knew he'd be getting back into that house sooner rather than later to save you, and he'd kill anyone who stood in his way of getting you back. Even Crane himself.
Benn was waiting for him, like he promised he would. He stood up from the side of the road when he saw his captain walking through the gate.
"And?" He asked, coming up to him.
"She's inside." Shanks answered quietly as they started making their way back to town and to their ship.
"What do you mean she's inside?" Benn whispered, his eyes going wide.
"I mean, she's fucking inside." Shanks said through gritted teeth. "Y/N is inside."
"What is she doing there?" Benn sped up to keep pace with his captain, who was almost jogging due to the nerves and stress.
"She's having a party." Shanks sighed sarcastically. "What the fuck do you think?" He added, moving his hair away from his face.
He was so nervous and so worried that he had almost no energy to explain anything to his first mate. All he could think about was how to get you out of there as fast as possible, safe, and sound. His heart hurt, knowing that you were waiting for him at that exact moment. He knew you were hoping he would come and save you, but he was actually leaving you behind.
"What are we going to do?" Benn asked, ignoring Shanks' snarky comment.
"We're coming back for her." Shanks responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Woah, hey." Benn grabbed his arm to stop him. "I know you're worried, Cap, and that you want to help her, but we need a plan here. Didn't you see the men around the house? I'm sure there is even more inside. We can't just barge in and expect everything to go smoothly."
"I don't care if it goes smoothly." Shanks admitted, shaking Benn's hand off his arm. "I'm gonna kill every single one of those fuckers if I have to. I'm not leaving her there." He added, resuming his walk.
"I'm not telling you to leave her." Benn started carefully. "But let's just think about it for a moment. Is there any chance to get inside quietly and unnoticed?"
"Benn, I don't have time to think about this." Shanks shook his head. "Crane might be suspecting something. I have to get there as fast as possible. And if you so desperately need a plan, I can do this without you. I already told you I'd do whatever it takes to get her back."
"And I already told you that I'll always help you." Benn reminded him, once again stopping him so they could look at each other. "And so will the others. We're getting her back. Whatever it takes." He said, reaching out his hand to his captain.
"Thank you." He nodded, shaking Benn's hand.
They were coming for you. All you had to do was hold on for just a little bit longer.
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You came back to your shared room alone when the other servants stayed for dinner in the kitchen. You knew you could easily sneak in to grab at least a bite of something, but you wouldn't risk getting caught after everything that had happened. Instead, you decided to take advantage of the moment of peace, and you plopped down on your bed, hot tears streaming down your cheeks.
Two years. That's how long you've been hoping that someone would find you. No, not someone. Shanks. And he finally did. You knew he was coming back for you. There was no chance he'd leave you alone after he saw you in that dining room. You were sure he visited Crane because of you, but taking his surprised expression into account, it was obvious he didn't actually expect to meet you there.
You knew him so well that just one look at his face told you everything you had to know. In those long two years, he has never stopped searching for you. He probably picked up on your lead, which led him straight to the mayor's door, and he came to investigate it. If he knew you were there from the beginning, he would never lose even a second talking to Crane. No. He would come and get you right away.
There was not a single day when you didn't think of escaping, and not a single day that you hadn't spent thinking if Shanks was looking for you. You never doubted him. Not even for a second. But being alone for so long, on your own, only able to count on yourself, it all had an effect on you. And you were too strong for too long.
That's why you were crying. Seeing Shanks after all these years in which you tried to remember every detail of his face so you wouldn't go crazy, broke down the walls you spent so much time building to protect yourself. After you found yourself in Crane's house and learned his rules, you knew you couldn't show too much weakness. Not only in front of him, but also in front of his men and in front of the other servants, because even though you were all there against your will, there was no friendship between you. Only the need to survive. And it was stronger than anything.
You should've been happy that finally the time came for you to be saved, but you couldn't stop the tears from flowing. You were still imprisoned, and Shanks was now in danger too. Nothing yet has happened, and everything could go wrong. You didn't even know how long you would have to wait for Shanks to come back for you. Would it be hours? Days? Weeks?
You only hoped that he had a proper plan. That he wouldn't throw himself right in the middle of a vipers' nest just to get to you. You managed to hold on for so long. What could a few more days do to you? He had to be careful; otherwise, you could both end up dead, and all the pain, crying, and worrying would be for nothing.
The stress and tears tired you so much that you didn't even notice falling asleep.
It was the middle of the night when you woke up to a hand clasping your mouth. Your eyes went wide, and your first instinct was to scream, but you recognized the man hovering above you just in time to stay silent. Your heart slowed down as you realized you were not in danger.
Benn put his finger to his lips, showing you to be quiet. You nodded, and only then did he take his palm away from your face. He reached out his hand to you to help you get up. You gladly accepted it and let him pull you to your feet.
You knew it was not the place or time to do this, but you couldn't help yourself. You were so thrilled to finally have a friend you trusted with your life so close to you that you put your arms around his neck, your hands shaking. You sighed in relief when he wrapped his hands around you.
"I'm happy to see you too, but we have to go." He whispered into your ear.
You nodded against his shoulder, and taking a deep breath, you took a step back. You could barely see the faint smile on his face in the darkness, but you smiled back nonetheless, blinking the tears away. You once again grabbed his palm, and you left the room as quietly as you could.
A few lamps in the corridor were still on, but the light was very dim. There would be no problem hiding in a shadow if necessary. You and Benn were both on your tiptoes as you made your way downstairs, looking around and stopping every few seconds to make sure there was no one there.
You somehow managed to reach the kitchen without bumping into anyone. You had no idea how Benn got into the house unnoticed without triggering the alarm, but that was not your biggest concern at the moment. You still had to get out, and that could not be easy.
"What are we doing here?" You asked quietly, letting him drag you along.
"We're gonna leave through the pantry." He answered, opening the door to the storage room.
You went inside and, carefully avoiding the shelves covered with food, reached the door on the other side of the room. Then you stopped. You didn't say anything, seeing even in the dark that Benn was listening for something. He raised his hand and knocked on the door.
Not even a minute later, the same knock came from outside the door, and Benn pressed the handle. A chilly air hit your face when you walked out of the house. You took a deep breath and smiled, seeing Yasopp leaning against the wall.
"Hey." He grinned.
"Hey." You whispered, your eyes filling with tears.
Just seeing your friends made you want to cry. You could only imagine your reaction to Shanks once you were together again.
Exactly. Shanks.
"Where's Shanks?" You asked, looking around.
There was no one else in the garden apart from you and the two men. Or at least you didn't see anyone.
"On the ship." Benn answered quietly, pulling you closer to Yasopp, so all three of you could be well hidden in the shadow of the building.
You had mixed feelings about this. On one hand, you were happy he didn't put himself at risk for you, and on the other, you were disappointed he wasn't there. You couldn't wait to see him, and now you'd have to wait until you were on the ship. That is, if you even made it out of the property.
"What are we waiting for?" You sighed, seeing the fence just a few feet away.
It was all going too smoothly for your liking. You knew Crane had armed men guarding the house and premises. You had to serve them several times, and you saw them from the windows. But now the garden was empty and quiet. Something didn't feel right.
Suddenly, a loud noise came from the front of the house. You flinched at the sound as it pierced through the silent air.
"For this." Benn grinned. "You ready?" He asked, squeezing your palm.
You didn't even get to answer because he started sprinting toward the fence, pulling you behind him. Yasopp was running right beside you, making sure nothing endangered you. You reached the wall in seconds. Yasopp climbed on it with ease and then reached out his hand for you to take it. Not even a minute passed, and all three of you were behind the fence.
"What the hell was that?" You asked when Benn once again grabbed your hand and you started running toward the trees growing near by.
"Distraction!" Yasopp smiled, and then almost instantly tripped.
"Watch your step!" Benn scolded him.
You ran into the forest, and when the boys made sure you were perfectly hidden, you stopped. Benn let go of your hand, and you bent over, trying to catch your breath. This was the craziest thing you have ever done.
"The spot we used to sneak out was not guarded." Benn started explaining after a moment. "We watched them for a few hours to see if there was any possibility of getting in unnoticed. But once we had you, we couldn't risk someone wandering there right in that moment. Hence the distraction." He grinned.
"But how did you know at what time we would leave the house?" You sighed, wiping the sweat from your forehead.
"Gab was watching from behind the fence." Yasopp explained, shrugging his shoulders. "When he saw us, he moved to the front to set off the bomb."
"The bomb?!" You raised your voice, taken aback by his confession.
"Shhh." Benn shushed you, looking around. "It was just a little barrel with gunpowder, not a bomb, you idiot." He corrected his friend.
"A bomb or a barrel doesn't matter." A voice came from behind the trees, making you all jump. "What matters is that it worked." Gab grinned, walking up to you.
All three of you sighed in relief at his sight, and Yasopp lowered his gun.
"Come on, they're waiting for us." He added, passing you by to walk deeper into the forest.
You took a deep breath, smiling. It worked. You were free. And you were getting back to Shanks.
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It took you about 10 minutes to reach the port, during which you learned everything about the rescue plan. It turned out that, at first, there was no plan at all. Shanks really wanted to just barge in and take you back, but Benn managed to convince him to come up with at least an outline of some plan so it could be as safe as possible.
When they finally planned their moves, the question of who would do it still had to be answered. Of course, Shanks was the first one to volunteer, but Benn, along with the rest of the crew, didn't think it was a good idea. Firstly, the plan could not work out, and then both you and Shanks would be in danger. Secondly, if they caught you, they would have no way of connecting it to Shanks (unless they recognized Benn, which was unlikely). And thirdly, most importantly, everyone knew how much you and Shanks cared for each other and how emotional getting back together would be for the both of you. And there would be no time for emotions while trying to escape a guarded house.
So, the crew somehow convinced Shanks to stay on the ship and wait for you. They promised to get you back to him safe and sound, and he had no reason to doubt them. They never failed him after all.
He was pacing back and forth on the main deck as minutes passed, and there was still no sight of you. He was so stressed that it began to affect the others, including Hongo, who couldn't help but comment as Shanks walked past him again.
"Relax, cap." He said gently. "They will be here."
"They have five minutes." Shanks sighed. "If they aren't here by that time, we're going to help them."
"How about five seconds?" Benn's voice cut the air as he walked onto the main deck.
You were close behind him, with Gab and Yasopp following right after you.
Shanks stopped in his tracks, and his whole body tensed up. He very slowly turned on his heel to face you, his heart pounding so hard against his chest that he was sure it would fall out.
You stayed in your spot, not daring to move even a finger, afraid that he would disappear. You had so many dreams over the last two years where he appeared before you, just an arm's length away, but whenever you tried to touch him, he vanished. But the minute your eyes found each other, you knew he was real.
He had a smile on his face, but the tears shining in his eyes let you know that he was just as happy and relieved to see you as you were to see him.
Yet you still couldn't move. You were afraid to take the first step. But Shanks wasn't. He started slowly walking toward you, keeping his eyes on your face.
You didn't know if it was the sight of him coming to meet you or some invisible force pulling you, but the next thing you knew, you were sprinting toward him, trying to close the gap between you as fast as you could.
You crashed into him, wrapping your hands around his neck as he grabbed you by your waist. You felt him lift you from the ground just a little bit. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. You weren't crying. You were sobbing. You've been waiting for this for two years. You were finally together again, and it triggered all the bottled-up emotions.
His grip on you tightened even more, pulling you as close to him as possible.
"I missed you so much." You sobbed, moving your one hand to the back of his head to graze your fingers through his hair.
"I know, love." He whispered, his lips brushing against your ear. "I missed you too."
You only squeezed him harder. It was difficult for both of you to say more. You were both too much of a mess to explain anything.
"Are you hurt?" He asked after a minute or two, carefully placing you back on the ground.
"No." You sniffled.
"Let me look at you..." He pleaded softly, pulling away just enough to see your face clearly.
It was as if he was afraid that any faster movement would make you disappear and that if he wasn't careful enough, he would startle you.
"You look good." He said, gently placing one of his hands on your cheek.
"Do I?" You smiled through the tears.
You were still wearing your servant clothes, your hair was tangled from sleeping and running, and your face was all wet from crying.
"You do." He nodded. "You're standing in front of me, alive and safe, after all these years... You had never been more beautiful." He finally smiled.
You let out a quiet chuckle as he pulled you in for one more, short hug.
"I'm sorry it took so long..." He sighed. "I'm really sorry." He added, planting a kiss on your temple.
"Don't be." You whispered, tighetening your arms around him. "I knew you'd come for me sooner or later. I'd wait for you for as long as needed. You have nothing to apologize for." You promised, pulling away slightly so you could wipe the tears from his face.
"I should've come for you myself." He said, bringing your hand to his lips so he could kiss the inside of your palm.
"No. I'm glad you didn't put yourself at risk. I was afraid you would. You did the right thing." You smiled. "Besides, you couldn't send a better rescue team for me." You added, looking over your shoulder to where the others stood.
Shanks moved his head to the side so he could see his crewmates as well.
"Yeah, I-" He started, but then he raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Are you crying?" He asked, staring straight at Benn.
"No." Benn answered shortly, quickly wiping the tears from his face.
"He totally is." Yasopp grinned, patting his friend on the back.
"Shut up." Benn frowned, pushing his hand away.
"Alright, alright." Shanks chuckled, stopping their bickering. "I wanted to thank you." He said. "Thank you for bringing her back to me."
Benn let out a sigh, blinking rapdily so he wouldn't start crying again. You smiled to yourself as you wrapped your hand around Shanks' waist so you could be both facing them.
"It's no problem, cap." Gab waved his hand nonchalantly. "You can always count on us. Both of you. No matter what." He promised.
"Thank you." You and Shanks nodded at the same time.
After that, everybody started slowly coming back to their duties, and you soon left the port, leaving all the scary moments behind you.
You were lying with Shanks in his bed, your head resting on his chest as you listened to his heartbeat. He had his arms wrapped around you, keeping you close. He couldn't take his hands off of you ever since you reunited.
"Won't Crane go after us?" You asked, breaking the comfortable silence between you.
Just as happy as you were to finally be free, you couldn't shake off the thought of Crane following you, wanting revenge.
"No." Shanks answered gently, stroking your back. "We made sure he wouldn't. Don't worry about it."
"What do you mean?" You raised your head so you could look at him. "I know everything went as you planned, but I'm pretty sure he figured out what happened. He may want to..." You didn't get to finish because Shanks interrupted you.
"He won't." He said confidently, but his voice was still as soft as ever. "You're not in danger anymore, my love. You're safe. We all are. I promise." He smiled, moving his hand to your face to caress your cheek.
You knew he'd never lie to you. If he said it was done, then it was. The question of what he did to keep you safe still remained unanswered, but that was a conversation for another time.
"I love you." He admitted. "So much." He added, grazing his thumb gently over your cheekbone.
"I love you too." You smiled. "So much." You repeated his words, leaning in for a kiss.
There was still much talking and explaining to do, but it didn't matter in that moment. What mattered was that you were together again. After two long years of being separated, he finally found you. And you would never stop loving each other. Your whole world, just for a minute or two, was at peace.
At 40, Franz Kafka (1883-1924), who never married and had no children, walked through the park in Berlin when he met a girl who was crying because she had lost her favourite doll. She and Kafka searched for the doll unsuccessfully. Kafka told her to meet him there the next day and they would come back to look for her.
The next day, when they had not yet found the doll, Kafka gave the girl a letter “written” by the doll saying “please don’t cry. I took a trip to see the world. I will write to you about my adventures.”
Thus began a story which continued until the end of Kafka’s life.
During their meetings, Kafka read the letters of the doll carefully written with adventures and conversations that the girl found adorable.
Finally, Kafka brought back the doll (he bought one) that had returned. “It doesn’t look like my doll at all,“ said the girl.
Kafka handed her another letter in which the doll wrote: “my travels have changed me.” the little girl hugged the new doll and brought her happy home.
A year later Kafka died. Many years later, the now-adult girl found a letter inside the doll. In the tiny letter signed by Kafka it was written:
“Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way.”
Courage is time well spent💜
i had always been told how i had been and/or would be wasting so much time and opportunities by lostening to my guts and pursuing what i wanted and what i was comfortable of doing.
fast forward to present time: yes, i'm still pretty much broke and unemployed and ultimately just dependent on the allowance i'm given to spend on myself or even on the freebies i get from my siblings. . . and yes, my pride does feel attacked/jabbed on when those happen, esp if it's my younger brother (who's still in uni) is the one buying me stuff. . .
but honestly, it calms me, my anxieties, and these monsters in my head whenever i think about how comfortable and happy and content and assured i feel that the things i'm doing now are stepping stones i'm accomplishing/planning to accomplish to reach my dreams.
the dreams i have for myself
and for the people important to me. . .
which basically sums up the world and the future i wish to live in:
where everyone i treasure, including me, is happy and comfortable and safe and assured.
in my world, nothing is ever a waste and should ever be a waste because everything happens for a reason, for self growth really.
be content, resilient, and flexible.
I saw an article called “Make Peace With Your Unlived Life” and it really made me stop and think. So much of our lives is mourning for what we didn’t become. It’s a waste. We didn’t waste any opportunities. What came and went was not meant for us.
I don't understand how someone can be so creative in the mind and be able to make that creativity into something so beautiful in reality
Dear myself, you must never lose your temperature. Cuz you don’t need to be neither warm nor cold. Though I might sometimes be hypocritical, or pretend to be evil. This is the barometer of my direction I want to keep. | RM - MAP OF THE SOUL : ’Persona’ (2019)
This how you steal a cold person's heart
Love his words they're always so heartfelt
“I’m always thankful of the many honours you have given us.
This is Bangtan’s honour and your honour, not mine. Yours. Because in some way, you all constitute what is defined as ‘Bangtan’. That’s what I think.”
California Sunset
Hey y’all! This is the first smut I’ve ever posted on the internet. I’ve been writing for a good six and a half to seven years now(four years for fun and around 3 or so years professionally) and I believe that I’m a pretty good writer. One thing though, when it comes to putting my work out there for people to read and interpret for themselves, sometimes that can be a bit nerve-wracking. Either way I put my ALL into my work whether it’s a smut, short story, poem, or an entire novel. I hope you all enjoy. (:
It’s a gorgeous, goregous night here in LA, the breathtaking sunset sitting perfectly in the middle of the sky. The swriling hues of orange and pink are enough to make anyone stop and stare in awe. You only hope that someone can find you as enchanting and beautiful as a warm sunset.
You figured that you had that with Chishiya, but now you aren’t so sure anymore. You’ve always been understanding of how busy and consumed in work that your boyfriend can be. Especially when he loses a pateint. You know how much of a toll that can take on his emotions at times. Being a doctor isn’t easy in anyway. All in the same, it’s a very rewarding career path.
As a nurse, you’re also occupied with your own career, with your life in general. But you’ve always gone by the belief that people make time for what they deem as a priority—what they consider important to them. And you always make time for Chishiya. Now it seems as though he’s starting to pull away from you. He barely touches you—rarely ever even compliments you anymore. You hate to admit how much that stings, how much it hurts your pride.
“Chishiya,” you call out to him, eyes glazing over his slim, relaxed stature. He’s so into the game that he’s currently playing on his playstation that you sadly doubt he heard you call his name. Or worse, he’s ignoring you on purpose.
You frown up, crossing your arms in impatience. “Chishiya!” This time your tone is a lot more crisp and assertive.
“Hm,” he mumbles, almost carelessly, never taking his eyes off of the tv screen.
In attempt to ignore his cold demeanor, you clear your throat in hopes that he can’t detect the hurt in your voice.
“I’m leaving to meet up with friends now. I won’t be back until very late.”
His eyes dart from his game and to you for a split second as he says, “Not too late. Be safe.” And just like that he averts every morsel of his attention back to the game.
Knowing how childish the very next words leaving your mouth are, you say them anyway, unable to hide your hurt. “Yeah, maybe I’ll come across a man that truly recognizes me and appreciates my damn existence tonight.” You eye him sharply, arms still stacked tightly across your chest—your special defense mechanism. He pauses his game as if on queue, a smirk forming on his soft, baby face, implying he’s willing to play along into your game. You resent how adorable and squishy you find this man. Even when he’s being a distant, insensitive, little prick.
He chuckles as he replies, “Sure. Send me a picture when you find him. I need to know what I’m up against.”
You scoff. “How do some nudes sound, Chishiya?” You retort, unable to conceal the emotion in your voice at this point. “Forget it. I’ll see you whenever you decide to act like you give a damn about me.”
That heavy and restricting sensation one gets in their throat when tears threaten to fall begins to bite at you as you turn abruptly to exit the room. But Chishiya has other plans. He grips you up, spinning you by your waist, somehow teleporting from his previous, peaceful position in his gaming chair and over to you. Sheesh. Don’t underestimate these shorter men. They move quick. Not to mention that surprising strength they have.
“What?” He questions, trying to look you in the eyes, but you stubbornly refuse to look at his face, afraid you’ll cry once you do so. “That’s why you’re threatening me with other men, huh? You think I don’t care about you?”
You push his hands off of your body, heaving out a small whimper. “Chishiya,” you whisper, your tone of voice tired and matter of factly. “Do you even find me attractive anymore? I mean seriously…you give me minimal devotion when we’re together. Just now, you could barely be bothered to pause that ugly game long enough to see off your girlfriend! And your affection? It’s almost as though you never even had any for me. You touch me like its an obligation and not because you genuinely want to. Do you get how that makes me feel as a woman? I feel as though you’re disgusted by me.”
He stands there for a second, his face displaying guilt and realization. Sighing, he walks over to his bed, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants as he flops down. “Come here.”
You can’t help it when your eyes roll slightly, stinging from the air. You walk over to him purposely standing about a foot or so away from the bed. He leans forward, grabbing you from behind your thighs and sitting you onto his lap. You blush when you feel him against you through your underwear.
He rubs your sides softly, squeezing them with intention. Your dress rises a bit at the action. “Let me start off by saying I love you; I love you so much it hurts me. You’re so gosh darn pretty it hurts me. There’s not a single part of your body and soul that I don’t adore.”
You manage to keep a soft eye contact with him as he pours himself out into you, squirming a bit as the sudden heavy and passionate mood of the room has you feeling shy. He smiles crookedly at your demeanor before continuing.
“I apologize for being distant, love. I shouldn’t direct my worries at you as if you’re the cause of them. You make me better and I forgot that for a moment there. On top of work and just being utterly drained all the time, I stored the fact that my stress reliever is you all the way back in to my mind. I’ll be more mindful from now on. I’ll be present.”
You swallow quietly, unsure of what to say. Your eyes are glued to his cat-like eyes as he smiles cheekily at you. You cave in at the precious sight, cupping his left cheek warmly.
“I love you, Chishiya. I’m always gonna be right here for you to talk to. I care about you and your wellbeing. You’re my heart.”
He nods reassuringly, taking both your hands behind your back and kissing you deeply. This catches you off guard, but you respond immediately, allowing his tongue to taste every inch of your mouth. You release a satisfied groan into his mouth, the vibration tickling the roof of it. He chuckles at the sensation. He’s giggling and being all light and feathery, but there’s a drive of concentration and lust in you as you grind into his pelvis, needing to feel more. Your eyes darken with arousal as the kiss gets more sloppy and explorative.
When he lets your arms loose from behind your back and slips a hand behind your neck to deepen the kiss even more, you become ecstatic; the feeling of sizzling passion and care eating away at you. You can hardly take it. He kisses you as if he wants to swallow you whole. In the nastiest of ways, he ravishes you immensely.
“Chishiya,” you breathe out, your core tingling with every sensation. Your stomach is on fire with excitement.
He places a final soft kiss to your lips before slipping your stretchable dress over your head. That look of hunger in his eyes mixed with a display of smug innocence drove you crazy. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you.
When your dress is off completely, he latches his tongue onto your nipple, teasing it with delicacy. He moves his mouth back and forth between your breasts, giving special attention to both of them. You gasp harshly when he grazes his teeth lightly over your hard nipples, sucking them with an exhilarating popping sound that slides off of his tongue.
“You’re so sweet,” he whispers in that husky voice that you love so much. He turns you over on your back onto the bed, laying a pillow behind your head for support. “Shit. You’re soaked, huh?”
Your eyes flutter open to the sight of him taking your underwear to the side, using his thumb to rub your clit tenderly. You blush hard at the remark and relish in the contact he’s delivering.
He continues this for a few more seconds as you only become wetter with each touch. Removing your panties all the way off and tossing them aimlessly, he positions himself perfectly between your thighs, planting love bites on them before sloppily kissing your pussy. You arch your back as far as it can go, aching to feel every sensation. You feel him smirk against your pussy, getting a kick out of how good he makes you feel.
Licking softly from your slit and back up to your clit as an appetizer, he sucks on the area, resulting in a squeal from you. He sucks on your pussy as though he hadn’t eaten all day. You’re pretty positive if it was possible to leave hickeys on a clit, you’d have a ton.
“Fuck,” you hiss, throwing your head back and grabbing the sheets in desperation. He looks up at you, slow and loving catlike blinks and admiration all over him. It’s something about the way he looks into your eyes as he tastes you that screams “I see right through you.”
“I’m coming,” you manage—barely a whisper. He can feel your pussy start to contract against his mouth and he gives his all to you as you ride out your orgasm against his face. It glistens with your arousal and this sight alone tips you over.
You gasp breathlessly as you come, stomach and chest heaving up and down. You have no control over your legs as they quiver uncontrollably. “Oh my fuck,” Is all you can say as your body is still coming off of the serious convulsion you just had. Teasingly, he begins rubbing the extremely sensitive area at quick speed, knowing how insane it drives you. You push him back weakly and groan, overwhelmed at the sudden touch. What a sneaky, little fucking tease, you think.
He rises up, giggling and hovering over you, leaning down to kiss you lovingly. “You always make such pretty noises for me.”
You wrap your arms lazily over his neck and pull him down for another kiss, forgetting all about the fact that you’re supposed to be going out tonight. Oh well. This is way better anyway.
And there’s the end of that! As you all can see I have a lot of love for the character Shuntaro Chishiya, as I do a lot of characters. But I just recently finished season 2 of Alice in borderland and it’s literally impossible for me to fall anymore in love with his character than I already am. I’m into a lot of different fandoms so expect all kinds of material on this blog! No one trick pony ish on this side. I do it all. I appreciate the read. Leave a like if you found this smut smutty enough for your taste. And leave a comment on anything I can improve! -Ash
Tidal Wave
Today, my guitar strums a somber refrain,
Tears cascade, a melancholic rain.
Lost in thoughts, missing you anew,
Heartache whispers, "How could this be true?"
In the grip of a tidal wave, I linger,
Longing to confess, yet courage withers.
You moved on swiftly, a hastened chase,
Left broken, my heart in a displaced space.
Navigating a whirlpool of uncertain fate,
A path unclear, in sorrow, I await.
You, unparalleled, in solitude stand,
Reluctantly admitting, love slipped through like sand.
Amidst this emotional hurricane's clutch,
Daily yearning, regret's relentless touch.
Why did you leave, why not remain?
Alone, I confront the echoes of love's refrain.
Thoughts of you persist, a haunting plea,
Hidden desires, an unrequited decree.
Facing the harsh truth of reality,
I meant nothing, a heartbreak's finality.
In this tidal surge, you claimed not ready for commitment,
Yet swiftly embraced a new sentiment.
Happy for you, but betrayed and confused,
Alone, I ride the wave, emotions bruised.
In solitude, I navigate this tumultuous sea,
Feeling used, emotions lost in the debris.
Left broken, uncertain of where I stand,
Alone, riding this relentless tidal wave, unplanned.
When the 3 AM Inspiration Hits :D
Maybe it’s the way I feel my soul crave for your existence, but I can’t help but look for your eyes at every passerby on the street
Hoping that it’s you I’ll run into.
I feel the way my heart beats
For anyone at this point in my life
Hoping that the person it beats for
Is you.
I can’t help but read every romance novel
Feeling as though it is us in another lifetime
Where our love is obvious on paper,
Easily read in between the lines of
Onyx and ivory.
I can’t help but feel jealous
At these romantic stories,
Whether they are on a page or in real time
Because maybe they found their other half
Before I did?
Or maybe it’s because they found someone who can fill the void till they meet their other half.
I’m greedy to want you in my life
Especially right now
When I know for a fact things wouldn’t work out the way I would like them.
I know I have to patient to meet you
To be able to love you.
That our story will happen when the time is right.
I know that you’re one step ahead of me,
Also waiting patiently to meet me.
To love me as much as would I love you.
I can’t help but be worried though.
Whether you’re out there still, alive and doing well.
Or if the horrors of our world have taken you to paradise among the stars where you belong.
It’s sad that the stories I read are about feeling, knowing, and loving their soulmates.
I wish that was a world we lived in because I so badly want to know your face, trace my eyes over your features and burn them to memory. Get to know the name that falls from my lips like exquisite honey. I want to know the person behind those mysterious eyes that I can’t picture.
Do you like to read?
Are you a nerd?
What’s your favorite season?
What’s your favorite type of weather?
How do you like your coffee in the morning?
Are you as obsessive as I am?
Are you as ambitious and independent as I am, but have a desire to be with me at all hours of the day?
As silly and simple as those questions are… I have so many more I want answered.
I have the guttural desire to know who you are
And where I can find you.
So I look and scour this earth trying to find you.
I look in places where I least expect you to be…
Like in friends, strangers, dating apps….
I say it’s to pass the time, but really…
A deeper part of my being is hoping to find you there…
I’m naive, knowing that you’re out there not at all doing what I’m doing…
But I’d be lying to myself and a hypocrite if I said that you weren’t doing the same as I am…
Trying to find you, and bring you, us home.
I crave for the days that will brighten when you’re by my side, waking up to the morning sun shining down on our faces.
I crave for your touch that ignites and relaxes my body, your favorite instrument to play.
One you know all too well as you trace your hands over me to play your favorite siren song.
I crave the day that our eyes finally meet and we both sigh in relief that we have found the ‘one’.
I crave for the day that I’m not the sole poet, and that you have created a sonnet from your heart dedicated to me.
I crave for the rainy days that storm down on our house of comfort,
Instead of running away and it breaking us down,
You grab my hand as we run out the door from the safety of our house and then we make out in the rain.
Not caring if the whole world was watching us.
I crave for the day that we sit inside of a pillow fort of our making as we laze around basking in each other’s presence because
it’s enough.
I crave for the day that we are able to love each other and make memories that are so far ahead of us.
I crave for the day I find you,
My other half. Who was made by the gods themselves,
To treasure, adore, spoil and love me.
So I will continue in my conquest… going through different lovers hoping to find you in this life.
Crushing on people who most likely aren’t you.
Just hoping for the off chance that it is.
I dread the thought that I’ve crossed paths with you, as it wasn’t our time yet or the off chance that it just wasn’t meant to happen in this lifetime.
But if I’m right about that,
Then I will see you when my time is up.
I will cherish and hold you with so much vigor we won’t be apart again in our next life.
My body craves our love, that only my soul would know, recognize and covet.
My heart yearns for the warmth that only your love would thaw and bring it buzzing to life again.
I would say it’s a miracle that if you are dead that you don’t know of my ability to see, feel, and hear spirits.
And if you did, and only didn’t haunt me because you didn’t want to burden me with that fact alone, then fuck you!!
Because at least I would have closure.
It would be so much easier with the fact that I know that you are dead, that you would be patiently waiting till I’ve lived my life to the fullest while mourning for you.
Because it’s easier knowing where and who you are and what happened to you,
Than wondering the what ifs,
wondering who you are
Wondering where you are
If you’re out there
Like me
Wishing
That you
Would just appear
And tell me that everything
Is going to be okay because I
Have you on my side and that nothing is going
To break us apart. Not in this life or the next.
Every person I date from here on out, will be a lesson I learn,
So that when I eventually find you, I will know how to cherish, trust, communicate, and love you, like how I know you deserve.
I know you will do the same for me.
When our souls eventually meet, it will feel like coming home. It will be like breathing in the first fresh air of spring. It will feel as though our worlds have collided in the most unlikely of ways, but when looking back on the moment it would make the most sense to us. We will love each other for all our demons and faults. We will love each other for all our happiest moments and for good days. A perfect Yin-Yang of messy and pure love.
We will stand for and with each other every step and turn. Devoted to one another.
I do not have the pleasure of knowing who you are yet.
But my soul loves and misses you. Whoever, whomever and wherever you are, and I can’t help but wish and pray that you’re doing okay and holding up without me. I hope that you hold out and look for me a little longer because I will find, and come home to you soon. My dearest sweet love.
My other half,
My one true soulmate.