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new study shows the true cause of mental illness

after hours upon hours of extensive research, i have discovered and concluded that the source of my mental issues is my brain


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the ultimate power move:

bring a shampoo bottle full of yogurt to the airport in your carry on. when the tsa agent tells you to throw it away, make direct eye contact with them as you uncap the bottle and chug the entire thing.

you will terrify them into submission


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concept:

a millennial figures out they somehow have superhuman abilities but decides to NOT go around and save people because hell man they're on a full-ride scholarship for college and they need to pass or else they sure as hell can't pay for tuition

doctor doom can fucking wait cuz this bitch has gotta finish a 10 page essay in 12 hours and they're only typed out the title


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say ayo if pt. 1

you used to think cinnamon was super sweet as a kid because of snickerdoodle cookies but instead got betrayed when you chucked a tablespoon of cinnamon into the back of your throat and proceeded to cough for two minutes straight while your family looked on in resignation


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say ayo if pt.2

say ayo is you have an innate fear of the basement, not because there's actually anything scary down there, just because it seems pretty spooky


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stuck between kinda wanting to go vegetarian because when i think about it too hard those animals rly did die tragically but on the other hand i would kill someone for a chipotle bowl right now


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