My Wrtitng - Tumblr Posts

TW: talks about death and stuff, read at your own risk

Moribund

On the point of death; breathing your last; not growing or changing; without force or vitality

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I lay on the ground, struggling for breath, feeling my life drain from me slowly, I reminisced on my life, all the good, all the bad, all of the hurt. I think about the people who I was close with, my friends, my family, my lover… I think about how once they hear about this, beaten to death in an alley, how it will break their hearts, shatter their world and uproot everything.

I think about my funeral, everyone dressed in black, crying as they speak about me, tell everyone what they thought of me, as they reminisce on all of the good times we had together, all the memories that they will cherish and hold close to their heart.

I think about the legacy i will leave behind, all of my stuff, my hobbies, it will all go to my partner, they will look through it all, find all of the love letter we wrote to each other when we were young that i kep, hidden in a box under a draw to my desk, i think about how they will smile while tears stream down there face reading them again.

I think about the children i was never able to have, the names we had for them, the fact i didn't get to raise a little me, didn't get to see new life blossom and grow as i too grew old, i think about how my lover will talk about me to their kids once they come into their life, i think about the small smile they will have talking about me, missing me.

But, I'm ok with that, life is rough, not everyone gets dealt the same cards, not everyone is fed with silver spoons and trusted with incomprehensible amounts of money. Life is rough, life is cruel, it hurts but it also heals. Life is beautiful, like the roses that grow next to rivers, like the moon's pearlescent light that bathes the earth at night.

I breath in my last breath, a smile on my face and an ache in my heart. I feel myself fall, being embraced by the eternal void, the cold cold void. But i am happy with it, life will go on, people will move on, i may not have gotten to live my full life, but many other people will.

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Masquerade - First Night (copyrighted material- J. Scott)

Madison agreeing to walking back through the city to her penthouse instead of getting a car filled Brienna with elation. She realized something about being with Madison that she never embraced with her late husband, enjoying the small moments. With Alton it was more work and social events leaving Brienna with a lot of time to herself to explore her own interests and friends, but in the end, she realized there weren’t a lot of small moments.

They walked along Camp street hand in hand, stopping occasionally to look into a shop that caught their eye. The relative comfortable silence between them save small bits of small talk seemed to punctuate the open and honest conversation over lunch. Somehow Madison seemed lighter, more unburdened now, as if somehow their conversation lifted a weight.

“What’s on your mind Madi?” Brienna asked as they walked along the sidewalk entering Harmony Circle. A contemplative silence fell over Madison over the last few blocks which worried her.

Madison shook her head giving a warm smile, the lavender lenses of her very chic glasses did little to hide the how the smile translated to her eyes. “Nothing, not really. Just can’t remember the last time I just strolled through downtown. I’m just enjoying being with you.”

Brienna matched the smile hearing the calm, serenity in her voice. “I agree. It’s nice that we don’t need to always maintain a conversation to feel comfortable with each other.”

Giving an approving nod, Madison pulled her glasses up to her head, holding Brienna’s gaze. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, darling. Isn’t that the point, to get to know each other.” Brienna gave a soft shrug.

The edges of Madison’s lips curled down with what seemed an uncertain frown. “I just didn’t want to ruin the moment by bringing up sad memories. But I was curious what your relationship with your late husband was like. Did you have comfortable silences like this?”

Pushing her own glasses up onto her forehead, Brienna checked for traffic then quickly guided Madison across the street into the park at the center of the circle. Picking an empty bench away from the throngs of people walking here and there she sat down, with Madison close. “First of all Madi, don’t ever worry that asking about Alton is going to upset me. I’ve had long months of solitude to come to terms with his passing.” Brienna forced a smile despite the emotions rising at the back of her throat. “Our relationship was…comfortable.” The way she answered that probably gave Madison the impression there were issues despite their relative happiness. “We were happy. We shared similar interests, but his work came first most of the time, which left me with freedom to do what I wanted. Did we have comfortable silences like this?” Brienna paused letting her memories run through her mind. “I’ll just say we enjoyed each other’s company, when it mattered.”

Those soft blue eyes scanned her face for a long moment before Madison nodded with a soft smile. “I appreciate you sharing that.” She replied standing and pulling Brienna up by the hand as they continued their journey. “How long were you married?” Madison asked after a few moments of walking in silence.

“Twelve years.” Brienna answered softly, her heart suddenly feeling rather heavy. In that moment of reminiscent contemplation the fact that the age gap between her and Alton wasn’t much different than the gap between her and Madison. That realization brought a soft smirk to her lips.

They both fell into what amounted to thoughtful silence as they walked the rest of the way. Madison stopped in her tracks as they turned up O’Keefe Ave, the condo coming into view. “You live there?” The gasped, eyes wide behind her glasses.

Brienna smiled, nodding, pointing to the top of the glassed in area at the very top of the building. “Yep, very top floor. C’mon.” She urged playfully pulling Madison’s dumbfounded form up the sidewalk. Walking through the lobby, Brienna couldn’t be sure if Madison’s jaw ever closed which left a perpetual smile on Brienna’s face.

She couldn’t tell what fascinated Madison the most, the fact that the elevator required a keycard to reach her penthouse or that the elevator opened directly into the foyer. But the awestruck look on the young woman’s face made Brienna chuckle. “I can’t believe you live here.” Madison exclaimed as she ran to the window to look out at the view from the living room. “I mean I knew you had money, but not this sort of money.”

Brienna let her explore without saying anything, simply enjoying the childlike excitement of seeing what was behind the next door. Laying her purse, glasses and keycard on the table near the elevator, Brienna opened the sliding glass door to the patio, leaning against the rail as Madison explored. “Your bathroom is as big as our living room and so gorgeous.” Madison called out before eventually joining her on the patio.

As Madison joined her against the railing, Breinna turned, pulling her close, pressing a firm, hungry kiss to those soft perky lips. One hand went to the small of Madison’s back, driving their bodies together as her other hand slid up the close cropped hair a the back of her neck, holding the her into the kiss. Madison let out a deep throaty moan, her hands wrapped around Brienna’s waist immediately as she melted into the kiss. Their tongues met in the middle, swirling around each other as the simmering heat and desire of the past week bubbled to the surface.

The kiss continued for what seemed an eternity before Brienna broke it slowly. Madison let out a deep sigh as their eyes met. The desire and affection between them seemed unmistakable. “Does it make you uncomfortable that I live like this?” Brienna asked in a tentative whisper. A slight anxiety over Madison’s answer pulled at the back of her neck.

“Why would it?” Madison’s lips pursed into a gentle frown as if the question somehow came off as painful. “This is who you are. Your money isn’t important to why I feel the way I do about you.”

She let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding at Madison’s answer. While she’d never admit to anyone that part of the reason she married Alton was his money and status, the idea of someone wanting to be with her for the same reason made Brienna anxious. To hear Madison express her feelings regardless eased that anxiety. “I’m glad. And I would never want my status to influence how we feel about each other.”

“So you’re saying you feel something for me then?” Madison teased causing Brienna to laugh out a she pulled the young woman against her in a tight, affectionate hug.

“I guess you could say that I might be catching some feelings for you.” Teased back kissing Madison on the nose. “How about some wine?”

Madison grinned wide, nodding, giving her a final hug before letting go.”That would be wonderful, thank you.” Brienna walked into the kitchen reaching the wine cooler just in time to hear Madison squeal. “Oh my gawd you’ve got a hot tub!” Brienna chuckled to herself, pouring two large glasses of white wine with half of the bottle.

“This time is for us to enjoy ourselves and get to know each other in every way.” Brienna handed a glass of wine to Madison, taking a seat on the gray cushioned patio sofa. “If you want to jump in the hot tub and relieve some of the stress from the week, we can.”

***

The mix of nervousness, elation and arousal made Madison feel like she was on a sugar high. She was certain that Brienna found her either adorable or ridiculous and was just waiting for a chance to push her out the door. The warm, cozy opulence of her penthouse did little to calm her down. The fact that Brienna had a car service on call screamed money, but she never imagined. Not that it mattered.

Gulping down a generous amount of the offered wine in hopes that it might calm her a bit, Madison shook her head as the cool, flavorful liquid slid over her tongue. “Not yet. I don’t imagine you have a bathing suit that would fit me, and I want the first time you see me naked to be making love to me.”

Brienna suddenly coughed with a mouth full of wine, her hand covering her lips as she tried to swallow. The wide eyed look on her face surprised Madison. “Well, that was unexpected.” Brienna choked out with a grin, wiping her bottom lips with a finger.

“What?” Madison pulled her legs up into a bent position onto the sofa so she could face Brienna. Something about what she said caught the older woman off guard and Madison worried she may have overstepped.

“Just the way you said that dear.” Brienna apologized reaching out to lay a hand on her bent knee. “Hearing you say making love to me caught me off guard is all.”

Madison frowned slightly. “I guess I figured it sounded more sensual than saying when you fuck me.”

Laughing out loud, Brienna slid closer, taking Madison’s knees and bridging her thighs with Madison’s legs. Her fingers deftly untied her boots, letting each of them fall to the patio. Madison watched this with interest as Brienna pulled her close until Madison’s butt pressed to her thigh. Long tailored nails brushed over her cheek as Brienna’s finger cupped her cheek. Her emerald green eyes seemingly reading her face for a long moment. “I absolutely agree with you darling, the idea of slow, sensual exploration, making love to each other sounds perfect.”

Unable to resist the pull and proximity, Madison leaned forward until their lips met. The contact started slow and soft. Brienna pulled the wine glass from Madison’s hand, setting it somewhere before pressing more firmly into the kiss. As they fell deeper into the kiss, Madison felt those long nails and warm fingers slide over the exposed skin of her torso. She let out a deep moan once they found the hem of her top, sliding up over her back, under the tight top.

Warm hands inched forward along her ribs as she felt the fabric of her top slip up over her breasts, exposing the tender skin to the warm afternoon air. Brienna broke the kiss as her hands pulled her top up Madison’s arms and over her head. Madison chewed tentatively on her lower lip, watching Brienna’s face. Her nails trailed down Madison’s collar, drifting slowly to the soft rise of her modest breasts. Her fingers traced the round outer edge of the fleshy globe, her emerald eyes following every inch.

Madison’s pulse raced. Her chest rose and fell quickly as the tender, sensual touch sent heat radiating out in every direction. Trying not to distract Brienna’s attention, Madison reached forward, her nails working the last few buttons of Brienna’s top. Separating the panels, she slowly worked the shirt down Brienna’s shoulders. Madison’s fingers brushed along the full breasts pushed up by the cream lace bra. Brienna reached back, unfastening her bra, letting the straps slide down her arms with the button up top.

Rising up on her knees, Madison shifted her position, straddling Brienna’s thighs. Her hands took the older woman’s cheeks in her hands as her butt settle down on Brienna’s thighs. The kiss became more deep and heated as their breasts and bodies came together. Madison let out a throaty moan against Brienna’s lips as her nails drug up Madison’s sides, slipping between their bodies to cup her breasts, one in each hand.

Her hips ground gently against Breinna’s thighs, the motion pressing her jeans tightly over the growing heat and wetness at the apex of her thighs. Suddenly Breinna’s mouth broke the kiss, jumping to Madison’s neck. The sensation caused Madison to groan out deeply, head rolling back, letting out an exasperated moan. One of Brienna’s hands slid to her back, the other cupped the flesh of Madison’s breast as hot breath suddenly washed over Madison’s flesh. Her nipples hardening around the bars pierced through each nipple. Her body jerked as the warm, moist lips that closed around her aching peaks.

A hand shot into Brienna’s thick locks of hair at the back of her neck. Madison gasped loudly feeling her body tremble with renewed heat. She held the older woman’s mouth to her breast as her tongue circled and played with the metal bar in her nipple. Madison’s breathing came more quickly just as Brienna’s mouth released her nipple with a pop, moving to the other. Madison’s mouth fell open, now feeling her saliva cool in the open air around her nipple.

***

As much as she might want to, Brienna realized denying her desire to explore and know Madison in even the most intimate ways was not happening. Her head and body swooned with heat and desire even before Madison straddled her lap and their bodies came together for the first time since this young woman first caught her attention at Gyles party. Their naked skin, their naked breasts coming together opened a door deep inside Brienna she never knew existed. The greedy way her hunger drove her to those pert, young breasts scared her. But instead of fighting it or telling herself she had no idea what she was doing, Brienna just let her instincts take over. Judging by the way Madison’s body responded, she had no objections.

What threw her mind into a tailspin was Madison slowly pulling her head away from her breast and slipping from the couch. Without a word, Madison grabbed up both glasses of wine, giving Brienna a mischievous grin, crooking a finger as if to indicate Brienna should follow before turning towards the open glass doors.

Brienna sat dumbfounded and confused for a long moment, eyes following the shapely swing of Madison’s hips disappearing into the penthouse. Kicking off her sandals, she pushed up off of the couch, following the trail of Madison’s perfume. Walking into the bedroom, seeing Madison sitting at the foot of the bed in her lavender panties, jeans laying in a pile inside the door to the bedroom. She sat holding her almost empty glass of wine in one hand as she reached out for Brienna with the other.

She took Madison’s hand as she tossed back the last of her wine. Madison handed Brienna the empty glass. All Brienna could think to do was place it on the nearby dresser and then Madison pulled her back around abruptly. Eyes looked up along Brienna’s body, while her hands slide over her hips, gently easing the skirt down Brienna’s thighs, until it lay in a pile at her feet.

Still not uttering a word, using her face and her hands to give Brienna any indication of what to do, Madison slid her body back along the bed, laying against the pillows and headboard, wearing only panties. Noticing her wine on the nightstand closest to the door, Brienna stepped over, draining the wine into her mouth as her eyes took in the young woman in her bed. The full bowed lips, the random assortment of tattoos on her arms, shoulders and belly, the lavender tipped nipple piercings on her perfectly round, modestly sized breasts. Despite the sultry look of confidence in her eyes in this moment, Breinna knew full well the uncertain, self-conscious young woman stirring underneath.

Swallowing the wine as it warmed her tongue and throat, Brienna took the last step. Making sure Madison’s eyes watched intently, she hooked her thumbs into the fabric of her bikini cut panties, slowly lowering them until they fell to the floor. She stepped out of them, kneeling on the bed, crawling towards Madison who’s eyes fell to the soft patch of blond hair at the apex of her thighs.

Hovering over Madison on her hands and knees, looking down into those youthful blue eyes, Madison lifted her butt up as her hands pushed her panties down her legs, eventually kicking them free with her feet. Breinna found the small trail of light brown hair running down her belly from her navel to a matching patch of hair on her mound just another curiously unique part of this lovely woman.

Madison’s hand rose up, cupping Brienna’s cheek, her eyes locked intently on Brienna’s. “Sorry for the abrupt game of chase. I could feel where things were going and I wanted it to be right.” Her voice came out with a sensual softness to it that caused Brienna’s belly to clench into a knot. Never before had any lover she’d gone to bed with touched her so completely the way Madison did.

Lowering herself to the bed, laying to Madison’s side, Brienna pulled her hair over her shoulder, letting it hand down her back into the bed before her hand went to Madison’s hip. Madison slid closer until their bodies pressed together and her thigh slipped in between Brienna’s. “Baby, nothing about being here with you feels wrong.” Brienna hand drifted up Madison’s back, reaching her shoulder as she pulled them closer together. Lips met with a shared moan as they finally came together as lovers, connected in the moment.

EM

first lover, first love, the first one to hold the secrets i never told. you withdrew almost as quickly as you came, crashing into me like the waves of the beach we sat and stared at for too long. lingering touch, soft bruises on my sinless skin, scars on my heart. it hit me again, when i saw you last night, how your eyes were so sharp, just like your tongue when you know you’re in the wrong. i hope you still think of me, the same way i do, the greatest mess i’ve ever been through, that still makes it impossible to look at the sea without thinking how good it would be to be doing it with you next to me. who knew i would still miss the way you used to gaze at me when i was sitting on top of you, your tired eyelids and red corneas, always a bit to high to be honest, but never too much to not bite my lips when we you kissed me. when you used to walk so proud, with me under you arm, so glorious like a king who owned the world, when we felt like it would never end.

Beauty of Things I’ve Never Seen Before

Today was the first day ever I was in the school bus alone. Not alone really, there were other students whom I don’t know. My best friend wasn’t there, so technically, I was alone.

I tried reading the book I took with me but in vain. As the bus started, I began looking at the familiar roads and buildings we were passing.

“Nothing to look at”, I thought.

But then I was thinking about what Gardner (from ‘The Space Between Us’) would feel about seeing all the things I was able to see. He would have definitely found it beautiful. He would be grateful to be able to look at all the different things and think how different they were from all the same things in Mars.

I decided to romanticize the bus ride to school. And I really found beautiful things.

At first, I noticed, among all the common buildings, some were remarkably unique. A really tall building made out of concrete and glass was probably the most eye-catching. Also, there were some plants at the foot of it with huge leaves (about 1-2 meters).

I noticed that a very common restaurant with nothing special, hung some fruits in the front. And they look beautiful in the middle of the chaotic surroundings.

I’ve seen a big mosque of white and pink colours with golden glasses in the windows. I’ve seen it before. But never realized how beautiful it was. It was no less in beauty than “The Sheikh Zayed Mosque” of Abu Dhabi.

Even the trucks parked in a line looked beautiful. The bright yellow colour was something outstanding in the gloom of the dawn. Not to mention that all of them have different floral pattern all over their body. Beautiful!

The last thing I saw on the bus, was probably the most beautiful thing. The sun! I’m sure it doesn’t shine like that on Mars. It was big and orange in colour. I can’t remember when was the last time I’ve seen the sun at dawn.

As I’ve got out of the bus, the school campus welcomed me with beautiful flowers, flowers of every possible colours, I’ve ignored before. Now I’ve truly seen them. I kept walking along the three different shades of marigolds as my doom awaited me at the end of the road.

Sometimes I cry.

Don't ask me the reason.

Because then,

I'll cry harder.

Finally managed to finish this fic with a chapter I wrote in a haze of inspiration last night! Enjoy.

Have been obsessed with the song Bed of Roses lately and it gave me the idea for this short thing.

I want to lay you down in a bed of roses

"That sounds comfortable. Are you going to join me on this hypothetical bed, Steven?" Danny says leaning against the doorframe watching a singing Steve. Steve smiles at him and keeps singing.

For tonight I'll sleep on a bed of nails

"Of course you would, you self sacrificing goof"

Steve makes his way towards Danny holding his hand out at the next words and pulls him into a hug, Danny's head against his chest.

Oh I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down on a bed of roses

They keep swaying as the song finishes and the last notes ring out.

They stay close a few moments more until Danny takes Steve's hand and pulls him towards their bedroom.

"C'mon let's go to our normal, comfortable bed. No need for roses or nails tonight"

Steve chuckles quietly and just says "Ok. Love you Danno"

"Love you too, you putz"

We're all a little in love with Lucifer

Human Alastor x Devil Lucifer fic :)

Entities within the World.

This is a non exhaustive list of some of the entities that exist within the story “You are Sheol”. All of these entities are inspired by figures in myths around the world, but are not exactly the same.

Chimeras

Chimeras are inexplicable creatures who defy the natural laws of death. Chimeras do not die when killed, rather, they reorganize their cells and reanimate as a different person with the same memories. Chimeras have the ability to influence the fabric of reality. Notoriously fragile, Chimeras are known to split into separate consciousnesses when severely injured to avoid reincarnation. Chimeras are the only entities observed in creation that are skilled at absorption. There are perfect and imperfect Chimera.

Higher Gods

Higher Gods are entities which exist in dimensions tens to hundreds of layers above ours. Because these entities are so incredibly complex, powerful, and dense, Higher Gods will split their consciousness among thousands of Angels who will all collectively carry out their will. This allows Higher Gods to interact with the universe in lower dimensions without destroying the fabric of everything. Every angel within a Higher God’s pantheon is literally a piece of that God. This means that in order to witness a Higher God, every single angel from its pantheon must be observed in a single realm.

The risk with splitting your consciousness among angels like this is that angels, while extremely disciplined, also have free will and can and occasionally do seek other Gods from other pantheons to work with. Likewise , Angels are known to disagree with each other very often, and conflicts between specific Angels mean the decimation of an entire pantheon.

Lower Gods

Lower Gods can be described as Gods whose consciousness can be contained within a single entity. Lower Gods do not split their consciousness among Angels and can operate completely independently. Daemons and Angels alike can become Lower Gods with enough Energy. Lower Gods are known to do magick with humans often. Lower Gods can take Angels and Daemons from other pantheons under their ray. Lower Gods can be worshiped. Lower Gods are not to be mistake for “lesser” gods.

Collective Angels

There are some pantheons that do not follow this traditional understanding of the hierarchy of Angels, some of which may be explored at different times. Our story is mainly centered around a Pre- Abrahamic understanding of the traditional hierarchy inspired by Summaria, Zoroastrianism, Canaanites and early Judaism with a dash of Christianity; however, this pantheon can be considered *somewhat* original as it does not strictly adhere to the beliefs of these faiths. Consider it an eclectic blend of all of these things.

Every Angel looks and behaves entirely uniquely, however, they all share the quality of being highly energetic, incredibly bright burning, intensely massive, lofty entities. Both Angels and Demons present in many forms including humanoid and anthropomorphic. Angels will appear as different sexes at different times. Their truest form is inconceivable to normal Humans.

Highest orders: Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones.

Middle orders: Dominions, Virtues, Powers.

Lowest orders: Principalities, Archangels, Angels.

(These directional descriptors do not at all reference power or importance, rather consider them explanations of how close or far away from Humanity each order is, with the highest being furthest away. Archangel Jophiel, for example, commands legions of Cherubim even though they are technically in a higher order than her)

Collective Angels work as a hive mind, though they do not all have the same thoughts or opinions. Any prayers made towards The Higher God or energy given is distributed evenly among every single collective Angel.

A Nega (Pronounced Negga)

A Nega ____ can be described as the inverse function of a celestial. Every celestial has an inverse counterpart. The Negas of the 72 Angels of Creation are the 72 Angels of Destruction. Negas also carry out the wills of their God and can be considered a part of the Collective Angels.

^ This song captures the vibes of Collective Angels well

Watchers

A class of Angels that were exiled for lusting after and procreating with Humans.

Nephilim

The unholy offspring of Watchers and Humans. Giants.

Daemons

The difference between Daemons and Angels is more political than physiological. There are many reasons why an Angel may radicalize and become a Daemon, however, the most common reason is a desire to operate as an individual rather than as a collective. Along with this many Daemons are not fond of the very strict contact rules with Humans that Angels must follow, and would like to do magick with them. “Daemon” is a self proclaimed title. Because Angels and Daemons cannot accept worship, the only time they are able to accept energy from a human as their own is through magical operations and offerings. After being cut from the collective pool of energy collective Angels share, many Daemons utilized magical contracts with Humans to stay self-sufficient.

Daemons are known to have better social skills with Humans than Angels. Daemons do not have Negas. Like Angels, Daemons are free will entities and may or may not be tolerant towards Humans.

^This song captures the vibes of Daemons well.

Djinni, Fairies, Natural Spirits

Human-like entities that existed before humanity. These entities have their own beliefs and religions. All of these living creatures have free will, eat, sleep, procreate, and die.

Thank you for reading! I think in my next posts I’ll explore the main characters of the story.

Natures of Celestials 2/2

Read my last post here for context or die.

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Natures of Celestials 1/2

I realized while working on this story that the character profiles are going to take a lot more research and time than I originally thought.

Let's continue.

Manifestation through Visible Light

This can mean a couple things. In our world, celestial entities usually only appear as visual light when they are putting a great deal of energy into being visible. Even the lower end of the visual light spectrum requires more energy than radio or microwaves to manifest in our dimension. Basically, because this range of frequencies is comparably smaller than the rest of the EM spectrum, you will only ever be able to physically see an angel or daemon in the visual light spectrum if they really really want you to.

Lesser spirits often manifest as hazy, less opaque white lights.

Lesser Spirits

Full body apparitions are considered quite rare for all spirits, but especially Higher Angels, Gods and Daemons. However, when they truly want to appear in this way, they can be quite vivid. 

Unnatural (Supernatural) lights

Longer wavelengths mean less energy, higher wavelengths mean more energy. In the context of celestials, angels and daemons that have an extremely high vibration will appear to have a melam that is coloured on the higher (shorter) end of the spectrum (violets, indigos, and blues), whereas, an entity with a lower (longer) vibration will appear on the lower end of the spectrum (reds, oranges, and yellows).

Therefore, if we know what color a celestial corresponds to, we can get a general idea as to how fast their vibration is and by extension how “high" the entity is. In reality, the light itself has no color, but luckily for us, the human eye is able to distinguish between these wavelengths in the form of color. 

Most Lower Gods would rather opt to appear in the mindscape realm of the practitioner, (in the practitioner’s head) than to literally appear in the physical world, but it does happen on occasion. Entities will manifest in colors corresponding to their wavelength in the mindscape as well.

Unnatural highly saturated colored light

When humans are overwhelmed with too much colorful information, our eyes see it as static. Entities can induce static by presenting as rapidly changing jumbled light rays, usually for the purpose of preventing a human from observing them. This can be malevolent or benevolent. Angels usually employ this as a defense mechanism to protect a practitioner’s eyesight when they are nonconsensually summoned, due to it usually prompting them to look away. Seeing static in only one section of your vision is a good sign that an entity is standing there and is uncomfortable in your presence. 

Static Entities

Daemons are commonly known to absorb light rather than emitting it like angels do, not sparing any energy but rather keeping it all to themselves. Because of this, some lower entities (shadow people) may appear to be shrouded in darkness and many daemons are not associated with any color other than red (the longest, lowest wavelength) or blackness itself.

Dark Entities

Manifestation through Ultraviolet Light 

This is a higher form of energy that is usually reserved for higher hotter entities and serves as another good reason why angels and daemons could not coexist with us in our world. 

Because angels and daemons are incredibly hot burning, their temperature is high enough to let the electrons acquire that amount of energy that is necessary for them to let out UV rays. This is one of the bigger reasons it is generally impossible for normal humans to look directly at angels in their truest form, just like looking directly at the Sun, this will cause blindness and extreme health defects. On our planet most UV rays are luckily absorbed by our atmosphere. However, if an angel was to manifest fully in the material world, the entirety of humanity would have no protection from these rays as they would greatly overwhelm the atmosphere, leading to the development of severe cancers, and ultimately the decimation of most life on Earth. 

To celestials, however, these rays are more or less inconsequential and do little harm. Higher energy UV rays affect lower spirits and are often used against them. 

Magical Manifestation in the form of UV radiation in our modern world is exceedingly rare and would only be employed by high entities to cause harm to living things- which is something they tend not to do. 

They may, on the other hand, utilize UV rays to be absorbed into plants if they want their energy to be harbored within the physical realm, in a way giving them a very limited physical form similar to that of a human host, but with fewer capabilities. Old Gods often did this with plants during the Ordovician period. Due to climate change and human influence, this form of manifestation is seldom used in today’s world.

Manifestation through X Rays and Gamma Radiation 

We’ll combine these two as the most energetic forms of radiation an entity may present in as, and most destructive. X and Gamma Rays differ in wavelength but serve the same purpose for celestials. 

This is almost never observed as a form of manifestation in our world and is more or less irrelevant from a practitioner’s sandpoint. However, these energy forms are very significant in the ethereal realm and the ways that celestials interact with each other. 

On smaller scales against lower enemies, angels emit x and gamma rays to overpower lower spirits and daemons. This is usually fatal to lower spirits who cannot withstand the incredible levels of radiation. Cruelty.  

Angels and daemons can also employ the use of extremely high frequency waves like x and gamma rays to aggress each other. A celestial with enough energy can weaponize nearly unlimited levels of x and gamma radiation to cause harm to their brethren if they choose to. This is due to a process that is very similar to the method used for gravitational force but to a far more intense degree. Higher Angels and Daemons can gather their mass to such an infinitely small point that their gravitational pull creates a black hole, the event of which will generate an Accretion Disk. 

These blazing disks of Primordial Material can literally be used as weapons against other massive celestial beings as they emit near infinite levels of ionizing radiation which has the ability to denature and break down other celestials, energizing them to such a degree that they cannot contain themselves. Their information is corrupted and forced apart, ending their consciousness. Final Death. 

A Lower God (left) obliterating angel (right) with x & gamma rays

Celestials aggressing each other in this way usually do not interact beyond their event horizons, as it would force their matter to merge which is a risky affair for both parties. Celestial beings cannot merge consciousness, and the force of both celestial’s gravity is usually far too great to be resisted by one entity alone. The information cannot be reused, and is considered irretrievable as the two consciousnesses are doomed to infinitely collapse into each other. Absolute Death. 

A Mistake

Rather, celestials weaponize the extreme levels of radiation emitted from their Accretion Disk, never actually coming into close enough contact with each other to merge, but causing irreparable damage to their opponent. This takes unfathomable levels of energy and extreme attunement into their own gravity as, without absolute and total control, an angel runs the risk of being unable to resist the pull of their own gravity and will be stuck in this state indefinitely until they eventually evaporate. 

Two Angels in Combat

Higher Angels make the conscious decision not to absorb the energy of another celestial into their singularity because it is a violation of Angelic Law. However, there have been many instances of Gods absorbing angels and other Gods, literally adding their energy to their consciousness. With enough energy and gravity, celestials can force other celestials to become a part of their consciousness, effectively killing them and recycling their materials. This is the driving force behind the Celestial War. 

Manifestation through Mechanical Energy  

Existence in the form of motion. The celestial manifests as motion itself and interacts with an object or person for a very short amount of time in the form of a push or pull. This form of energy is invisible but observable in the ways it affects the world around it, similar to sound energy. This requires a great amount of energy and is usually a very quick and single motion. With more energy an entity may be able to move multiple objects at once. 

This is one of the more common ways daemons will manifest, usually in the form of an impact, such as throwing objects across the room, slamming doors, and banging on walls. Human spirits that have recently passed are more talented at manifesting in mechanical energy than non-human spirits like fairies because they are literally closer to the material plane. So even though this operation takes immense energy, the distance it must travel is comparably shorter than it would be from an angel, daemon or fairy, meaning human spirits (ghosts) often manifest in this way.

Collective angels do not usually employ the use of mechanical energy as a form of manifestation unless it is natural of their function. For example, certain Angels of the Natural World like Angels of Wind may use mechanical energy in mundane situations over forces of nature. 

Mediums may employ this form of manifestation by allowing an entity or spirit to move a part of their body, usually their hand, to communicate in writing. (This is distinctly different from an extremetal possession, which is when an entity takes full control of the energy in a person's limb). In a ritual setting, a practitioner may be compelled to dance and move in specific ways - or be moved by an entity in a specific way- in summoning. 

In the ethereal world, celestials use high levels of mechanical energy to aggress lower spirits, rotating their matter to such an insanely high degree that they reach their maximum possible rotations per minute and ultimately explode or evaporate.

Manifestation through Electrical Energy 

In the natural world, high celestials may manifest as natural lightning under the right conditions. Unnatural lightning conjured directly from the celestial does not require the use of mechanical energy to manifest. Only specific celestials of a certain nature can conjure lightning in the ethereal world, unnatural lightning in all forms is reserved only to them. 

Manifestation through natural lightning is a high level technique reserved for high entities as it involves the use of mechanical energy creating static in the atmosphere which is then converted into electrical energy in the form of lightning. Therefore, the celestial does not conjure the lightning itself, but rather conjures the means to possess lightning. 

Extremetal Possessions are performed by taking control of the electrical energy already present in a person’s limbs. Consistent contact with High Angels is known to create neurological side effects.  

Celestials are also able to be contained within any electrical circuit, but manifest far better at higher voltage. Celestials are known to make lights flicker and often overwhelm flashlights and other simple electrical devices. If you find yourself within a high entity’s Zone you can expect simple electrical devices to malfunction.

In the ethereal world, similar to X and Gamma Rays, celestials can and often do use electricity as a means to aggress other entities, usually lesser spirits that can be extinguished through intense shocks. 

Manifestation through Sound Energy 

This is also considered a high level technique because it requires the use of mechanical energy. Higher amplitude requires more energy to manifest. Entities may utilize longitudinal waves to communicate, vibrating air particles in a specific way to be detected by humans or other creatures. The use of sound waves can also be used to harm or heal humans and other entities. Animals like dogs and cats are often able to observe entities in these forms of sound when humans cannot. 

Infrasound

This is below the human range of hearing and occurs naturally on Earth in many forms like earthquakes as well as from man made sources. Large animals like whales use Infrasound to communicate. While these sounds may at times be used to communicate with these animals, they are usually used by celestials to intimidate humans. 

In humans, sounds in this frequency can cause vertigo, imbalance, intolerable sensations, incapacitation, disorientation, nausea, vomiting, bowel spasm; and resonances in inner organs, such as the heart. Giddiness, vomiting, loss of consciousness, and blindness may afflict you. 

When people suddenly get an immense feeling of dread or feel sickly during hauntings and rituals, it may be because an entity is weaponizing infrasound against them. Many Old Daemons utilized infrasound to cause mass hysteria in the past. 

In the ethereal world, at a high enough amperage, infrasound can be used to harm nonhuman lower spirits, effectively extinguishing them. 

Audible Spectrum 

Different audio frequencies have different effects on humans. Daemons have often been known to use sound to deceive humans and lead them to danger. Ex: Hearing a scream or a baby crying with no source.

In the same way that infrasound can cause health defects in humans, different audible sound frequencies can aid and heal humans. More energy is required to heal than to harm. Benevolent entities may manifest as specific frequencies to help practitioners during magical operations. Different frequencies can aid in different things from improving focus to raising self esteem. Healing Angels often manifest in these same frequencies. 

High Daemons may utilize sound frequencies in their Enn, a mysterious chant that a practitioner uses to attune themselves to an entity’s realm. Angels are known to manifest in music. 

White Noise 

White noise contains all frequencies across the spectrum of audible sound in equal measure. To humans, white noise is to sound what static is to light, and is used by celestials for a similar function. 

While static is often used to disorient humans, white noise is used to subdue them. White noise is effective at blocking out all other sounds, which is effective at relaxing humans as the brain focuses on the jumbled information. In ritual settings this can aid in achieving a trance like state. Entities can manifest as white noise to affect sleep patterns and generally induce tiredness in humans. Different forms of white noise, such as pink noise, may also be used. 

Ultrasound 

In the material world ultrasound has little effect on humans, but celestials can use this energy at high enough levels to heal lesser spirits. Angels and Daemons often use ultrasound to offer spiritual healing to humans. 

Manifestation through Chemical Reaction  

In the material world, this form of manifestation requires the most expertise as it is actually the use of potential energy in material objects as it is converted into other forms. It is less convenient for this reason, because the specific materials needed are unique and may not always be present. Chemical reactions are a means to achieve manifestation through the use of the material world. This gives power to Entities of Alchemy.

The rearrangement of electrons in a chemical reaction is what allows the entity to manifest. In this way, a summoning for an entity that mainly exists in the energy conjured by chemicals may look more like a scientific operation than a spell. 

Entities that correspond to Fire also utilize this method of manifestation. Heat reacts with fuel and oxygen and causes fire to bloom. The fire we can see is a result of this chemical reaction, as this energy is used it produces heat and light. The amount of available energy affects how the fire looks and how entities manifest. Most celestials can possess fire in the material world. In ritual settings entities often require that candles be lit to increase their presence. 

A celestial may demand a specific element or chemical be combined or react with another in their summoning. Usually these are base elements that cannot be broken down into smaller parts (on the periodic table). 

Smaller chemical reactions (such as the striking of a match) may be used during a magical operation, but the use of specific elements themselves is what defines this form of manifestation. Entities that employ chemical manifestation have a deep relationship with Alchemy. 

In the context of psychedelics and drugs in general, chemicals that alter the brain’s chemistry can also be employed in summoning rituals. It is worth noting that there are entities that reside in these psychedelic spectrums that can be contacted through the use of mind altering substances. Some rituals may even consider it a mandatory step in the magical operation. 

LSD God

Higher entities that manifest in psychic spaces like realms can utilize the chemical energy generated by the human mind to attune them to their realm. Both angels and daemons can interact with humans in dreams. 

In magical relationships, Entities of Illusion can interact with humans through hallucinations when the practitioner is in a trance. The daemon will not have to physically manifest in the material realm but will be perceived in great vividity by the human. This is the closest angels can legally get to possession. 

Possession 

With all this considered, a possession can be understood as a high level two-step manifestation of the chemical and electrical energy generated by a human or animal brain. This can only be achieved after overpowering a human’s identity and establishing full domination of their mindscape. 

Daemon’s must first drive the host to such a point of hysteria and madness that they are unable to discern reality from fiction. In this disoriented state, Daemons can convince the human consciousness that they are one being. The human then allows the Daemon to take dominance over the functions of the body. This is a parasitic relationship. The Daemon has full access to the human’s memories and has the ability to alter or delete them. 

Energy must be maintained at a constant state. Too little will allow the human to take back dominance, too much will fry their components.

Daemons however, unlike Chimera, cannot truly merge consciousness with humans, therefore the death of the human spirit will result in the death of the entity as it presents in the material world.

Death cleans the information of all energy. The greater entity will not die in the ethereal realm but may be severely injured. Daemons can opt to end the possession before death, but the human will be more resistant to possessions in the future. The Daemon will then have to go through the process of dominating a human soul with a new host. For this reason possessions are not very attractive to Daemons.

Collective Angels do not possess humans as it is a violation of Angelic Law.

Okay, I think this post is long enough. This may seem extremely meticulous but these posts really do help me think through the mechanics of the entities and how they relate to us in our world. In my next posts I might go more into the dynamics between witches and entities and psychics because I’m still spotty on those subjects. Thanks for exploring my weird reality with me. X 

Gods, Angels, and Pantheons

Hi all,

This is another informational post about the story “You are Sheol”.

In this post I will be speaking more on the ways that Gods, Angels, and Daemons operate within the story, the functions of pantheons, as well as making some corrections to information I have already shared.

My characters are based off of pre-existing entities, some of which I do work with in real life as a practitioner. Many of these entities will not be named within the narrative of the book for various personal and cultural reasons. Our main Angel, Archangel Zamariel, is based on the Archangel of Beauty who is the chief of 53 legions, is the angel of the seventh heaven, the angel with the flaming sword, and is the angel who taught language to humanity at the dawn of antiquity.

Zamariel is a Heavenly Angel, which means a couple things.

1. He is a part of the pantheon which is governed by the Holy Trinity and its predecessors. (more on that later)

2. He is native to his current pantheon since its inception.

3. He can be invoked under many different Gods so long as they are subordinate to the God of the Holy Trinity OR its predecessors.

4. He may not defy any of the laws outlined by any of the Gods he can be invoked under, if he does, he will be subject to [LITIGATION] (angelic legal action). This is the underlying principle behind the unifying Angelic Law.

5. He can be invoked under the oldest and largest pantheon, which is the pantheon governed by “The One.”

Zamariel, like most Archangels, wears the mark of his Holy Pantheon on the backs of his “palms” when he appears in human form. Up his arms, the marks of the pantheons that precede the Holy Trinity can be seen.

The God of the Holy Trinity is mainly referred to as [THE LORD].

Within the narrative, square brackets indicate words of angelic origin which cannot be translated into human language.

[THE LORD] is the name of the God that mainly corresponds to Abrahamic faiths like Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and Catholicism, though He far predates these faiths as concepts.

[THE LORD] is a Higher God, which means His consciousness is woven into His angels.

The name “Zamariel” is a specialized name which refers to this version of this entity from the perspective of this pantheon. Other names may or may not be used when referring to the same individual from different perspectives, “Zamariel” is always this Archangel. If he were to lose his status in his pantheon through [LITIGATION], he would no longer call himself “Zamariel”.

To contrast, there is another major character in the narrative who goes by the name “Kayte”, formally called “Mitzroechiel”. Kayte is what would be considered a “fallen angel” or daemon. He was once responsible for being the mediator between pantheons and different celestial realms, ensuring the healthy functioning of angelic relationships. After being stripped of his status in his native pantheon of the Trinity, he decided to join a different pantheon which reins under the Lower God, Lucifer of Venus, the Morning Star.

This means:

1. Kayte is no longer considered to be a member of the pantheon governed by the Holy Trinity, BUT may have some allegiance to its predecessors.

2. He is not native to his current pantheon since its inception (since Lucifer became a Lower God).

3. He can only be invoked under the specific Gods he is personally in allegiance with, he does not get a free pass with other Gods.

4. He is not necessarily bound to any laws that he does not decide to obey on his own accord. He is not bound to the Angelic Law.

5. He can be invoked under the oldest and largest pantheon, which is the pantheon governed by “The One.”

Kayte wears the mark of his Holy Pantheon which reigns under Lucifer on his throat. The marks of his former pantheons have been burned off of his Melam.

It is worth noting that every celestial in creation can be invoked under “The One”. “The One” is self-creating, primordial, and unknowable.

How Pantheons Work

I’ve had to rework this element of the story the most as I’ve continued to write and research.

I said in a previous post that we will be operating under the philosophy that all energy is conscious. While all energy may have some form of consciousness, not all energy has an identity.

Death cleans the information of all energy, resulting in energy with no intentions, or identity. This can be considered “free” energy. The consciousness of this free energy will return to the collective consciousness of creation, being recycled however creation deems.

There are exceptions to this rule and there are multiple stages of Death.

Conscious creatures have a sense of self preservation. Even though a flame may not have the complexity needed to give itself a name, it will most usually do whatever it can to continue existing for as long as it can. Energy that exists in a closed system tends to want to continue existing that way. Typically a person wants to continue being themselves.

Energy can develop consciousness as a side effect of complexity. The more complex energy becomes, the higher chance it has of becoming afflicted with consciousness.

Think of Higher Gods like machines or like a human body, and think of Angels as cogs or organs.

It is extremely important that every individual does their job to ensure the healthy functioning of the collective. If one element fails, a chain reaction can occur leading to the eventual failure of the entire machine, or body. If one part of the machine begins to malfunction, or one organ in the body develops cancer, it may be removed to prevent further damages. Higher Gods often share and exchange Angels to account for these losses. Higher Gods truly are the sum of their parts.

Every individual element is intelligent, conscious and acutely aware of their role and placement within the design of the machine.

Consider a pantheon to be like a club with a God as its mascot. The identity of this God is the unifying force that dignifies a group of entities as collective. There are pantheons for every God, High or Low, even if that God does not have angels underneath them. Angels and Daemons can belong to multiple pantheons or no pantheon. Pantheons can exist within other pantheons, especially in pantheons consisting of many angels.

Higher Angels shared between Gods and pantheons often become Lower Gods themselves, making the distinction between Gods extremely variable and political.

The distinction of what makes an Angel an Angel is not physiological, nor are the differences between them. Rather than thinking of them as creatures with distinct biological traits, think of them more as pockets of energy in space that behave differently according to what they believe their function is.

Celestials are not singular objects but rather, a collection of ideas and energy closed within a system. This means that angels are able to be in many places at once and do many things at once, because they are many things at once. This concept is paradoxical and contradictory, as many things in this story are.

Angels can divide their consciousness across two or more pantheons. The names and faces an angel uses when operating under one pantheon may differ from the ones they use while operating under a different pantheon. However, due to the unifying Angelic Law, no Heavenly Angel may commit an action that defies the laws of any of their pantheons, regardless of what face they’re using.

(This is very complicated, so I’m going to try my best to break it down very simply)

Energy is the oldest “thing” in creation. The energy that is “Zamariel”, for example, is far older than the identity that is [THE LORD].

Whenever the Pantheon of the Holy Trinity was established, Zamariel became subordinate to [THE LORD] because he was a part of the energy that eventually came to form [THE LORD]. He is the beautiful, wise, and artistic energy that exists in [THE LORD].

[THE LORD] was created from a Higher Pantheon. Other Gods were also born of this same pantheon. The differences in how these Higher Gods came to occupy creation is the effect of entropy within the universe.

As it is the Holy Trinity, [THE LORD] it is derived from the Holy Duality, and eventually from The One.

Zamariel is a part of the Holy Duality, under the Goddess called [THE MOTHER]. Likewise Kayte is also subordinate to [THE MOTHER] even though he isn’t a part of the Holy Trinity.

When Zamariel operates under the Holy Duality, he uses the name Yafahiel. When he operates under the pantheon of The One, he does not have a name.

The Zamariel that is the beautiful, wise and artistic part of [THE LORD] is only a fraction of the entire entity that is Zamariel.

The parts of Zamariel that are not a part of [THE LORD] are called Nega-Zamariel. Yafahiel is a Nega-Zamariel and Zamariel is a Nega-Yafahiel.

Micheal, who is the chief angel of the Holy Trinity, would consider Yafahiel to be a Nega Zamariel, because he is most familiar with Zamariel and [THE LORD].

Another angel who is closer [THE MOTHER] would consider Zamariel to be a Nega-Yafahiel.

The only consistent and reliable way to identify celestials of all kinds is through their names.

Many different kinds of celestials can be invoked or appear to manifest from a single source.

They may represent very similar principles and ideas, and there may appear to be the same entity across multiple faiths or regions. But it is infinitely important to note that differences in names fundamentally changes the nature of the energy we are invoking.

For this reason, the invocation of Zeus is not the invocation of Jupiter nor is it the invocation of Thor. Same sources, different pockets of energy. Similar principals, still not the same guy.

The name that an entity is invoked under will fundamentally affect the presentation of the entity. The God that an angel or daemon is invoked under will fundamentally affect the limits of their abilities and actions.

Because we are human, we can only describe Angels using human terms. Angels can only present to humanity in ways we can understand, therefore our human perspective fundamentally affects how Angels can appear to us.

Humans naturally filter the information we receive based on our ideas of how reality behaves.The state of the entity changes based on the human that observes it, and the context in which the human observes it. This doesn’t mean to say that Angels are dependent on our human ideas, but rather, that in order to be understood, Angels adhere to our worldviews.

Names are ways that humanity dignifies identity. We can give names to people, animals, ideas, and inanimate objects.

We use names to illuminate information in a way our brains can understand, in the same way that our eyes convert light into color.

When we discover the names of these entities we can locate and interact with them. Location is important as the majority of entities do not actively reside on the planet Earth, and creation is very very very very very very very big.

Just as sigils are symbolic signatures or addresses of entities, names are phonetic or literary addresses to a specific idea and person. When combined with intention, we have a way of identifying entities that we would otherwise have no way of differentiating between.

Celestials are often very forward with their names, except in the case of tricksters and malevolent entities.

Humans however, are also very clumsy with our information, and therefore we often conflate and misunderstand names and words or say one name to mean two separate entities. Mistranslations and lost media give way to confusion and misidentification very often.

Because of this, we have to be extremely careful with our intentions when invoking names, especially the names of Gods.

Lucifer for example was initially a Cherub from a different but related pantheon to the Trinity. Humanity originally associated his name with the energy invoked from the planet Venus when it appears in the sky as the Morning Star. He was the God of Illumination.

However, some time down the line Lucifer was controversially misnamed as the angel known within Christianity as The Devil. Because of this, the entity that is The Devil in Christianity can be invoked using Lucifer’s name if he is the intended subject in the mind of the human. Because of how widely associated the unnamed angel became with Lucifer, an address was made.

The God Lucifer of Venus is in this way, as inherently real and true as the Lucifer that is The Devil. The only way to differentiate between these entities from our human perspective is to be concise about the energies we wish to address.

** Angels and Lower Gods cannot split or merge consciousnesses. Gods can only split consciousnesses, they cannot merge it back together. Chimeras can do all of these things.

You Are Sheol . 3

What had occurred on this day that had not occurred in 5 billion years?

This is the question that plagues Zamariel’s mind. 

He blooms as the conductor of the greatest orchestra in Heaven, his brethren singing in perfect harmony as they spew sweet praises to the ineffable God. The songs are magnificent as they always are and always will be. Zamariel leads the Cherubim with absolute grace. 

Fate has a cruel sense of humor, at least, that’s what all the Angels say. Zamariel never really believed that until today. In fact, he had always held the opinion that Fate was quite merciful. She had allowed all that had ever been to be. She had given Zamariel the ability to exist, he was infinitely in Her debt for that. 

Yet today, Zamariel wonders if Fate is watching him now, laughing maniacally at his misfortune. For all the good graces She’s bestowed him, She now takes his deepest vulnerability and twists it into an abomination.

Today, for the first time in 5 billion years, Zamariel makes a mistake. It is a miniscule one that would never be noticed by even the most masterful musicians. But Zamariel knows that there is no room for mistakes in Heaven’s choir. Someone noticed. 

Angels are able to be many places at once because they are many things at once.

When we observe him from this angle, Zamariel is skillfully conducting the greatest music in existence in the second sphere of Heaven. 

But when we shift our perspective ever so slightly, he can be found on Earth, watching you hop out of the silver SUV and walk cautiously over to the police car. There, a female officer says a few things to you before lifting you inside and getting in herself. 5 seconds go by, then the police car pulls back onto the road and starts down the hill to the town.

“You must believe that I have not doubted you for even an instant, Fairest Beauty of Divine Music, Archangel Zamariel,” someone speaks with great reverence as they approach Zamariel from the darkness of the woods. 

He is a blinding light that oscillates from purple to yellow. He has not taken the effort to prepare a human form. 

“Forgive me, Saint of Beauty, for I wish not to question you. I cannot understand the nature of your actions. For I am the Guardian Angel of humans born in the time that extends beneath my ray. I maintain the natural order of things as intended by Fate. Why have you gone to efforts to interfere with my kin if not ordered to you by God?” 

Zamariel turns his gaze towards his brother who shrinks under the intensity of his mystifying eye. 

“My dear brother, Mebahel, do you see the Mother Moon is still at perfect peace?” he replies with an almost agitated tone. Mebahel confirms. 

“-and do you see that the Great Sky and Earth have remained separated? Do you see that the Father Sun has remained in orbit around us on this rock, and that the stars still remain suspended in the Cellestine?” 

Mebahel confirms once more. 

“Then it must be so that Fate has not been contradicted and that the natural order remains unbroken. You speak doubt unto Her. Do you truly believe that Fate did not account for my actions on this day, simply because you did not?”

Mebahel does what is the equivalent of a bow. 

“You mustn’t misunderstand my intention, Zamariel. I only seek understanding to illuminate my ignorance, I did not… mean to-”

“Speak it not to me,” Zamariel interrupts. “Commence your consolations to the source of your offense.” 

With that, the light that is Mebahel fades into obsoletion.

…

Somewhere I knew that despite my fear of never becoming like my father I turned out to be very similar to him, not in looks but in actions. The only thing we knew was how to surrender, how to surrender our entire belonging, how to not form an opinion based on our beliefs, and how to live into the oblivion of our worthlessness. We thought we were a burden on everything and probably on everyone, we were undeserving, and we weren't meant to be given a life that ultimately fell in our laps. It's cathartic and pitiful now that I come to think of it.

She is a 10 but she lives in disbelief.

A woman's heart is as tender as the sound of falling utensils on her kitchen floor.

Starlet- Oneshot

Kids im back with the milk-

I am working on so much behind the scenes shit right now but this got done first, next we will probably get more bloodlusty vampires unless I suddenly decide different.

But GUYS I FINALLY WROTE COMFORT-

Like its angsty at the beginning but they need a reason to be comforted- d Uh

Please for the love of mE - emjoy :3

All Akari needed was the stars, they were a constant in an ever changing world, listened to her problems when she had no one else, creating beauty even in the darkest of times.

What she really needed right now though... Was a hug... A friend... Someone to tell her that things would be ok...

All she wished for in that moment was for that to be..

The trail of a comet flashed above her for a brief moment, wisping away almost as quickly as it had appeared.

she heard a vast wind rush overtop the trees, turning to look she couldnt see anything, -there wasnt any wind before... - She thinks.

A deep chuckle riverbates through the still air surrounding her, and she stiffens.

"So you're the mortal who summoned me... Such a strong pull, and such a bright aura, oh! lavender colored, what a sight ~ you certainly are quite a wondrous little thing, my, my...."

A shift in the air brings Akari's attention in front of her and her jaw drops taking in the sight.

There stands an enormous glowing being, bright white with flecks of golden stardust about them.

Their body starts to form and become more detailed and she can see their face and body take shape. Six limbs- four arms and two legs- take shape out of the glowing mass, Sharp white eyes open, a flowing tuft of hair floats above them, gently swaying like flames atop their head, and stardust dots their body like golden freckles.

"Oh, h-hello.." Akari said awestruck and nervous

"Hello little one, apologies for the exciting entrance." it said a bit embarassed trying to hide its excitement

It kneeled down and leaned forward trying to see the little human better, one pair of arms resting in their lap while the others rested, palms down in the grass

" its good to meet you, starlet, you may address me as Libra." it said in its airy tone.

Akari sat confused, but decided that this dream could be fun to engage with.

"Akari" she said, sticking out a hand towards the being.

Libra stared down at them and blinked in confusion.

" ah! This is your earthling welcome, yes!" they realised.

They reach out to the small woman, pinching her whole hand and part of her arm, before lifting it up and down slowly.

Akari grinns, the contact making her hand tingle with warmth.

Libra releases them and Akari thinks she sees a smile on their bright face.

"So... why exactly are you here?" Akari asks looking quizically up at them.

" you ,, dont know? You summoned me here with your wish!"

"My,,, my wish?? I didnt make any wishes ... "

Libra looks puzzled for a moment.

Akari goes to speak, but they stop as libras eyes glow blue, making a strange buzzing sound. They are no longer focused on akari, completely still.

After a few seconds Libras eyes blink back to white.

"ah! wow~ a rarer case indeed! It seems it was your emotion and thoughts that powered the wish, I knew I felt that strong energy in you, but enough to power a wish without a word being spoken ... " Libra said in awe.

"huh... Oh!- oh... "

Akari sighed, remembering her earlier feelings, her frustration and sadness.

"I, I think I know... what it was..." she said, resigned.

Libra tilted their head, giving the human a look of concern.

Akari didnt really want to tell a cosmic being a hundred times her size about her life problems.... But this was a dream anyway so...

"I have to move again..."

"mmm.. No thats not it .... Your aura didnt flare up...." they quickly interject

Libra looks down at the human with pity, truly wanting to help her. They lean forward a tad more.

" Whats really troubling you, little one?" they ask gently

Akari flushed in embarassment and shame, would this cosmic being judge her? Well...

"One of my roommates outed me as gay and now all the girls in my dorm think im a pervert-" Akari blurted

"They already started spreading rumors about me and reporting me to the landlord for stupid shit- so, I'm leaving before it ... gets worse...."

"Oh my... Thats certainly a predicament..." it sympathised but seemed confused , they continued.

"... Is humanity against happiness?" they asked mournfully, their light dulling a bit, seeming to know more than they were letting on.

Akari looked thoughtful for a moment, the cosmic beings words resonating with her.

"Wow,,, thats a... way of putting it... I mean, yeah, heh, every politician is against the queer community, anyone I try to get a job with or if I- lm just trying to find somewhere to fucking sleep, someone takes issue with 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 about me!... even when I tried to tell my family, they rejected me, too, haha! so yeah, your right, we fuckin' hate happiness."

She laughed a bit unhinged-ly while describing the absurdity of it all, the people she had encountered, the trials of her life, it seemed impossible to talk about without turning it into humor.

Akari rested her head atop her knees, looking goomily past the starlike being and letting out an indignant huff before falling onto her back and closing her eyes.

A moment passes and akari thinks she sees the immense light shift before she feels that same warm feeling, but, around her body?

Without a moment to think her body is hoisted up. As her eyes open she sees the towering form of libra, now holding her in their enormous open palm.

They flash her a pitying look before facing up, the other upper hand cupping around the confused human. Before she can even say anything, Akari is pressed down into the palm, the G force making movement near impossible, she cant see where they are going, only seeing the white light emenating from the enormous beings hands, she can only trust that the weird dream entity is as benevolent as they seem.

Akari can feel them coming to a slow stop as the force lets up and allows her to move again.

She tries to sit up, dazed , as Libra's hand lifts off her.

Looking around she can see nothing but immense darkness save for the being of pure light that holds her.

She turns to face said being, who looks excitedly at their passenger.

"hello little starlet~"

Libra said, its two overlapping voices echoing eachother.

"Hi, where the hell are we." akari snips, a bit jittery.

Libra dims again, shepishly pointing down with their upper hand while their lower pair fidgets nervously.

Akari gives them a confused look before they carefully creep towards the edge of her cosmic captors' hand.

Gripping the sides, they look over.

And immediately jump back, seeing 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢 below them.

" ah, I see." she says calmly.

"Just a few questions for ya;"

They inhale

"Why in the s h i t did you do this and also 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯 𝘨𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 ?"

" aha! Its all ok! You can breathe just fine, please dont freak out!!"

Dispite being concerned about oxygen, Akari starts to breathe rapidly.

" theres no way im - in space right now - oh my god i - could die."

At this point they had completely forgotten that they were supposedly dreaming, focused more on the 'being manhandled by a cosmic giant' and the ' being in space millions of miles above the earth' thing.

"Human please relax, I brought you here to relax.." libra tries to explain

" this is not - relaxing!'

She says between breaths.

Libra looks disappointed, this was such a nice spot to stargaze, they really wanted the human to see...

But there was something else it Could try.

Gently, the glowing being closed their upper hands over the panicking form in their palm.

Before she could react to being enclosed, Akari again felt that immense warmth that could melt her, all over her body it felt tingly and content, she felt her muscles relaxing despite herself.

Finally she let herself be consumed by the feeling, relaxing and not worrying about any perceived danger that had her brain reeling just moments before.

Just as she did this, the lovely warmth started to dissipate, pulling off her despite her grabbing onto one of libras bright digits, a silent request for them not to stop.

Libra snickered at the cute display, bringing the girl out of her stupor.

She jerked her hands back and tried to suppress the enbarrased blush that filled her face.

" Sorry..."

Libra said

" N-no your fine" she said sheepishly

" No.. For scaring you..."

"Ah, that. Well,, uh I guess you can fly us to space and shit and im assuming you ...Magicked me to be able to breathe despite lack of oxygen?"

" you got it!" they affirmed, their cheerful tone reappearing.

"And I had good reason to bring you here! Look !"

Their lower arms gestured to the darkness before them as they beamed down at the little human.

".... Uhhhh... Wow?" akari said confused

"can you see something I cant?" she questioned, looking back at libra.

"Oh! right."

Libra dimmed, voluntarily this time, until they were only about as bright as a glow stick.

Finally, akari could see why even a cosmic being would appreciate such a place.

From earth, smog and light pollution would block most people from clearly seing such things.

But here, above the ozone layer, Akari could clearly see the milky way, its soft trail across the sky lived up to its name, fading softly at the edges into the rest of the cosmos.even still it was so stark, the white path cut the sky open like a geode, its center sparkling with stardust that flashed different colors as if it was being turned in the light.

She stared in awe as Libra looked on with a soft smile, occasionally sparing a glance at its little passenger to make sure they were alright.

They let the moment pass before speaking.

" Starlet. In the vast expanse of the cosmos, there are disasters , black holes, collapsing stars and other destructive things..."

Its three free hands gestured wildly, illustrating their words.

"But even from those, beauty is born. This nebula, your galaxy, was created from a collapsed star, it exploded, causing all around it to be thrown into chaos and confusion."

A look of sorrow flashes on libras face for a moment.

" But still, your planet thrived, using what was left to build a new world; one filled with life, with community, with love. Life does find a way."

They offer a gentle smile in reassurance.

" I believe you will find that.... your life does as well." they conclude.

Looking back to her newfound friend, akari feels her chest warm, swelling with an overwhelming feeling.

She lunges at the curled fingers, giving the pointer and middle the hardest squeeze she could manage, doing her best not to tear up.

Libra gushes at the adorably sweet gesture, and they cant help themself.

They pull the human close to them, belringing her into their chest, close to their glowing core.

Akari feels herself enveloped again, a simmilar feeling as before, but now filled with adoration and positive energy coursing through them, an immense, all consuming, all encompassing hug of pure affection and amorousness.

Unlike the melting, relaxing feeling before, she now felt a stronger sense, she felt Libras intention, its emotion and power guiding her thoughts and feelings, helping her to embrace and bring forth her inner strengths, akari could feel her self esteem break through the shroud of frustration and pain that had entrapped it, it swelled within her and she felt empowered, appreciated, and... 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appears to look bright until you hear them speak.

- Alan Dundes

The Last Summer Dairies..

Last summer was slow, painfully slow, with nothing to do and no one to talk to, bored, silent, lonely.. and so my mind has all the time of the world to think - over think - everything and anything cause why not, I used to write stuff that stings my mind randomly.. I spilled my thoughts and the flow of words into the papers soaking them in the ink of my favourite black pen.. now I wanted to put that whole collection here one by one reminiscing every memory - or thought - again!!

Welcome to my Last Summer Diaries..

capturing the moments (intro?)

Intro pt2

Someone's intro~

To my someone

To my someone 2

coming soon..

Tags : #the last summer dairies

The Last Summer Dairies (intro?)

Capturing the moments..

To treasure a moment, to stop at that instance, to savour all of it while it ends.. We capture the moments on cameras, the photo's being the proof that we stopped time in that instance, in that exact moment and captured all of it in the photo! It's good until we get so obsessed with capturing the moment than actually living in the moment! For a 'no mobile at hostel' girl like me, capturing moments is through writing. Staining papers with all the memories I savoured, I captured my "worth stopping the time" moments!

- 10 july, 2023

(p.s. not everything in this collection is about capturing memories, some are just raw emotions or random thoughts too!)

Tags : #the last summer diaries

The original copy as on 20230710 .. as the original has some grammatical errors I edited the above post a bit and still not sure if it's all correct lol, typo's in my blood ;) also I scribbled everything that's on my mind very fast, so don't mind my writting-

The Last Summer Dairies (intro pt2!)

(back then..) in the events of capturing the moments only with pen and papers and addressing it along with my opinions, I forgot that I've got nowhere to keep them all in one place. Everything was here and there, scattered around, wrapping me up like a cacoon. So i thought why can't I just put them all together in one place, in one book.

Memories from somewhere in the middle of May to until today (when I wrote this) marking the starting of July past 10 days! I had them all in pieces.. no order, no dates, I don't even remember when I wrote the oldest of few. So I'm putting all the pieces together randomly cause each and every one of them is a standalone.

This journey of collecting all those spilled moments of memory fragments, put together into one big piece is exciting and interesting! So let's dig into the past reminiscing the moments which then were only captured on papers. And we bring them all together and make this binding collection of dead trees all fresh and crisp, just ready to be stained by my beautiful moments in ink!

Happy or sad, every moment is beautiful in its own way and I would never want it to be anything else, I would never want it to be changed even in the slightest..

- 10 july, 2023

Tags : #the last summer diaries