The Falcon And The Winter Soldier - Tumblr Posts
by @zZangddollll
bucky: ow! fuck, i cut my finger.
sam: let me kiss it to make it better!
bucky, blushing furiously: oh- uh- okay.
(later)
bucky: sharon i need you to punch me in the mouth.
I know there is hope in these waters, but I can’t bring myself to swim, when I am drowning in this silence.
Ghost of you
summary: You've had a really shitty week, and to top it all off, the guy you've been dating for almost half a year also ghosted you. Just to suddenly appear in your living room with the worst excuse ever, or is it maybe the truth?
Bucky Barnes x Reader (Y/N)
warnings: low self-esteem, trust issues, mention of violence, injuries, mention of the winter soldier, mention of torture and kidnapping
words: 3508
You can also read this on AO3.
and like always English is not my fist language so forgive me for my mistakes
(GIF not mine)
It has rained all day, and in the early evening, heavy raindrops are still falling from the New Yorker sky. You drop your backpack next to the door and take a deep breath. The cold rain pulls your mood down even further. You had a shitty day. At first you overslept and were late for your morning college class, then your annoying professor talked bad about your last project and one of your fellow students, a slimy guy named Taylor, who kept asking for a date, no matter how often you say no, tried to cheer you up with some stupid sayings. "Maybe chemistry isn't the right class for you" and "In my opinion woman don't belong into science." Of course that didn't help. You had to pull yourself together not to beat him, but you didn't get through four years of studying organic chemistry and to get throw out of college now. In summary, you had a shitty day. Exhausted, you hang up your jacket and peel off your wet clothes. A hot bath will do you good now. While you walk through your small apartment to the bathroom, you check your cell phone. You have a few messages from your friends, an email with updates on your study group, and a missed call from your mom. But of course that one person didn't write to you. You haven't received a message from him for 5 days. Did you do something wrong? Said something stupid? Or is that just his way of telling you that he's no longer interested in you? Actually, you wouldn't think Bucky do something like that, he's a gentleman through and through and even brought you flowers on your first date. Usually you're not like that, you've never depended your mood on a man's attention, but everything is different with him somehow. The last six months you've been dating Bucky and everything has been kind of perfect. He's charming, polite, friendly and treats
you well, plus he's incredibly handsome. And of course you fell in love with him. How could you not. Frustrated, you put your cell phone down next to the sink and let in the bath water. A bath will relax you, and then you will call your best friend and complain about Bucky. She's going to fall into hate speech about men and wishing again and again that she was a lesbian, then the two of you could get married. Unfortunately, neither of you are really into women. So this is what your Friday evening looks like, a lonely bath and a poor phone call while you cry over your sad single life. Maybe a box of Ben & Jerry's ice cream too. You sink into the hot water and lean back in the tub. The pleasant warmth is good for you and you will notice how your tense muscles relax.But the peace doesn't last long because your thoughts wander back to Bucky. It bothers you a little that you care so much about his attention, but you have got used to them. He usually texts you regularly, asking how your day is, how your classes are going and whether you can keep up with your assignments. Sometimes you wake up in the morning with a message from him telling you that he has a stressful day ahead of him, but he wishes you a nice day and would text you as soon as he can. You sigh, this time you haven't heard from him, at some point he just stopped getting an answer. Actually, you thought everything was going well. Bucky was the first man you trusted again after your ex boyfriend cheated on you after five years of dating. You've been taking it easy, going on dates, hanging out with each other, and feeling like you really got to know each other. He even told you about his nightmares and therapy, even if he never told you the reason, you noticed how difficult it was for him to open up, to be so vulnerable. Bucky met your friends and you wanted to introduce him to your parents by the end of the month. At least that was the plan. But maybe it was all just a trick of his? A trick to get you to bed, a trick that worked. Maybe it's because of this? Maybe you're bad in bed? But he never mentioned that he was dissatisfied. Apparently all men are the same. You shake your head to get rid of these thoughts, then take a deep breath and sink back in the bathtub so far that your head slips under the water. You enjoy the peace and quiet underwater, but unfortunately you run out of oxygen far too quickly, so you have to surface again. The water around you is slowly getting cold, for a moment you think about running warm water again, but you decide against it and climb out of the tub. You wrap yourself in a large, soft towel and grab your cell phone. Of course he didn't answer. Maybe you need a bottle of wine and a romantic comedy, after that you would be better off and maybe you could forget that the guy you had been dating for almost 6 months was ghosting you. You slip into your cozy pajamas, which you put on the bathroom heater this morning. You'd like to pat yourself on the back for this great idea. You leave the bathroom and make your way to the kitchen, your phone in hand, even if you know he won't answer. Have you been too clingy? Or did you tell him too soon that you love him? Wait a minute, you didn't tell him that, only thought a few times but never said it. Your mind wanders to your last date. It was movie night so you guys were watching one of those classics that Bucky loves to watch. And every time you have the feeling he is watching the film for the first time and does not know what it is about. As if the storylines and characters weren't widely known, at least if you haven't lived in a cave for the past 50 years. When you saw Titanic you felt like he was really surprised when Jack died. But maybe you just imagined it all. Maybe you don't know him as well as you thought. After the movie you went to bed and fell asleep in his arms. You remember that the last thought you had was that you never felt as safe with anyone as you did with Bucky. The next morning you had breakfast together and then he drove to work. Before he left the apartment, he gave you a passionate kiss, but he didn't ask when you would next see each other. Something he usually always did. But he called you that evening and complained about his coworker Sam and his constant good mood at work. For the next few days you kept writing messages and making phone calls, but suddenly it stopped. No more calls, no more answers to your message. Not even when asked if something happened and why he doesn't answer you. Complete radio silence for 5 days. You feel the tears welling up in your eyes, but you don't want to cry. Not about some stupid, handsome, charming guy like James Buchanan ,,Bucky” Barnes. Maybe you're just not the kind of woman men can imagine a future with. "Hello Y / N." you jump a bit forward in shock when you hear Bucky voice behind you. Then you turn to him. He's sitting on the sofa in your dark living room, you can only make out his outlines. "What are you doing here?" you piss at him, your heart still beats faster with fright. You turn on the light and when you can see him properly you flinch again. There are cuts streaked through his face, covered with a few patches, he has one black eye, and the knuckles of his hand are red and scarred. His normally bright blue eyes look tired and dull. "What happened?" you ask him and walk up to him, you sink to your knees in front of him and take his left hand in yours and carefully study the many injuries on his face. Now you can also see the bandage wrapped around his shoulder and the large hematoma that runs from his neck and presumably all the way down his shoulder blades and back. Bucky carefully lifts his hand and strokes your cheek. The cold metal on your warm skin makes you shiver slightly, but you lean into its touch. Forgotten is all the anger and sadness about ignoring your messages. "A lot of things went wrong this time." this answer doesn't really make you any smarter. "What do you mean?" you ask confused. "And why do you show up after almost a week of not hearing from you and look like you've been beaten up?" "I'm sorry. I'll explain everything to you. Please can I just hold you in my arms for a moment?" Still confused about the whole situation, you nod and let him pull you onto his lap. His arms wrap around your body and you nestle against his chest. You take a deep breath of his familiar smell, a few drops of water fall from his hair onto your cheek. He smells like shampoo, bandages and Bucky. It's just quiet for a while and you listen to Bucky´s steady heartbeat. "I'm sorry that I didn't answer your calls and that we haven't seen each other the last few weeks. I was out of town, not even in this country." he whispers softly at some point. "Where have you been?" you ask in the same volume. "Can't tell you." You sigh and sit up a little, his grip on your waist tightening a little, as if he's trying to hold you to himself. " Why are you lying?" you notice how tears well up in your eyes. Even when you are so close, you notice this invisible wall between you. Did he lie to you all along? You are tired of being lied to and it makes you incredibly angry and sad. "Please Y / N. I'm not lying to you. There's only so much I can't tell you. I´m not allowed to tell you." he looks sadly past you to the side. "I don't even know how to explain it to you." "Just try it." you want to tear down this wall, you want to know the truth. Even if it could hurt you. Is he cheating on you too? Does he have another girlfriend? Or maybe he's married and has kids and he's cheating on his wife with you? Does he lead a double life? Bucky takes a deep breath. "You know I have these nightmares." You nod and look at him carefully. "In these nightmares, I see my past. What happened to me or rather what I did. Although I actually didn't do it, not voluntarily. But I did it anyway and that haunts me. And because of that, I go to the therapy. Well, that's why I'm still doing it. It was ordered by court." "Bucky, it doesn't make any sense what you're saying." Bucky takes a deep breath. "I lied." immediately you tense up again and want to free yourself from his embrace, but he holds you tight. "Please listen to me, and when I'm done and you never want to see me again, I'll understand. Then I'll leave and you'll never hear from me again. Please." "I'll listen." "As I said, I lied." he starts again. "When I told you I served in Afghanistan. That was a lie, yes I went to war, but not this one. I went to war in Europe." Confused, you straighten up again. "What are you talking about? There hasn't been a war against the Europeans since 1945." "I know." Bucky is silent again for a moment. “I was born on March 10th, 1917 and I signed up for the war against the Germans in 1942. My best friend was Steve Rogers. He was made a super soldier and when my unit was captured he saved us. We tried to capture a man named Arnim Zola, but there was an accident and I fell off the train. Everyone thought I was dead. But I wasn't, they captured me, experimented on me, make me a super soldier and then they gave me a brain wash. " Bucky clenches his hands in a fist and you hear the soft creak of his prosthesis. He told you he lost his arm in an attack in the war, apparently that was the only part that wasn't a lie. "When the war was over, HYDRA used me to pursue their plans, and after every mission they put me into cryosleep." It will take you a few minutes to think about what he said. On the one hand, it explains a lot, the scars all over his body, the nightmares, the fact that he sometimes behaves as if he came from another time. But on the other hand, this whole story just sounds like a huge, big lie. Of course there are the Avengers, and Steve Rogers the super soldier from WWII, but brainwashing? Cryosleep? And all of that as early as the 1940s. You just can't believe him. You shake your head and break free from his embrace, this time Bucky lets go of you without hesitation. You take a few steps away from him, he is sitting on your couch and looks at you, his beautiful blue eyes are completely dull from the grief. He looks broken. "I don't know if I can believe you. And what does that have to do with the last few days and why do you look like you've been beaten up?" Bucky takes another deep breath. "A few years ago I was sent on a mission to kill Captain America. But Steve recognized me, he tried to help me. And when the helicarriers crashed, everything came back. I knew who I was again." He pauses briefly, you can see on his face that the memory is causing him pain. You remember the news report, there was talk of a Helicarrier malfunction. You look at Bucky and wait for him to continue talking. "Steve was trying to protect me, a lot of things went wrong back then. He had a fight with Tony because of me. I went to Wakanda to get the brainwashed out, it worked. The trigger words don't work anymore, but the memories are still there. I'm working on it with Dr. Raynor, and in the meantime I'm working with the Avengers now. I'm trying to somehow make amends for what I did then. I'm trying to help now and do what's right." Bucky falls silent and you try to understand what he just told you. Can this really be true? Or is it all just one giant lie? But why would he bother to think of something like that? But the whole story sounds so unbelievable. So unbelievable it could be the truth. "I don't know if I can believe you." you whisper into the resulting silence. "And if you're really telling the truth, why are you putting yourself in such danger? Look at you, Bucky, you're covered in bruises." "I have to do this and it's not really dangerous for me. Give me 2 days and all the scratches will be gone." Scratches. He really calls his wounds scratches, you shake your head in disbelief. He looks like he fell out of a moving car into a chasm and then got a good beating. He would never heal so quickly. "I'm a Super Soldier Y/N, like Steve. The serum makes me heal faster." he answers your unasked question. "Okay, let's say I would believe your story, I still don't understand why you put yourself in such danger? Why don't you do anything else? Why do you do this? What do you have to make up for? Did you kill someone? " "I've killed countless people Y / N. Innocent people. People who didn't fit HYDRA, political opponents, but also civilians, scientists, presidents, monarchs, politicians. And that for more than 70 years. I have a lot to make up for. I'm a killer, an assassin, a monster. As a Winter Soldier, there were no morals, there were no limits. There were only missions. I didn't ask why I should take out my targets, they probably wouldn't have answered me anyway, I just obeyed the orders. I was a weapon, I am a weapon. But now at least I'm the one pulling the trigger." You take a step towards him carefully, placing your hand on his arm and stroking his cheek with the other, tears glistening in his eyes and he leans into your touch. "I can understand if you're afraid of me now." His voice trembles and it almost tears your heart. Suddenly you are sure that he is telling the truth, you believe him. He could never think of something like that. He could never act the suffering, the fear and the pain. "May I hug you?" you ask quietly. Bucky immediately grabs your waist and pulls you back onto his lap, his arms closing around you and hugging you. He buries his head in the crook of your neck and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry I lied. I wanted to tell you but I just couldn't. When I met you I thought wow, how can a person be so perfect? How can a person be so good? I didn't deserve you, not after everything I've done. I didn't want you to know that I'm a monster. I wanted your perfect, peaceful world to stay the way it is. I never wanted to hurt you." “You're not a monster. Even if I can't quite grasp the whole situation, I know this for sure. You are not this person anymore, this … this…” "Winter Soldier." "Yes exactly, this Winter Soldier. You are not that monster that you are describing. It cannot be. The Bucky I know is nice, attentive and caring, you are one of the best people I know.” "But I wasn´t always like this, I am this monster, or I was and a part of the Winter Solider is still in me.” "No!" do you contradict him. "You're trying to make things right. You realized it was wrong. And you said you were brainwashed. Everything you did as a Winter Solider wasn't your choice, it wasn't your fault. These HYDRA people used you, you are a victim as well as all the people they had killed." Bucky's grip tightens a little, and only now do you realize how strong he really is, how long he had to hide his true power. He did it not to scare you, he lied to you because he doesn´t want to burden you with his trauma. He wanted your life to be free from the shadows of his past. You feel something wet drip onto your shoulder, and it takes you a moment to realize it's Bucky's tears. You carefully stroke his short hair, trying to calm him down. "I am sorry." he whispers into your neck. "You don't have to be sorry. I'm glad you told me the truth and I'll try to understand it. I'll try to help you. We're a team after all." "You won't leave me?" "No. Of course not. How could I leave you?" you take a deep breath. "I love you." Bucky flinches, then pulls away from you to look into your eyes. "I don't deserve your love." "Do not say something like that." He leans in a little to put his lips on yours, it's only a brief touch, but it makes your heart skip a beat and causes a pleasant warmth throughout your body. "I love you Y/N. I've wanted to tell you this for so long, but I was scared the whole time. I'm sorry if I hurt you, I didn't mean to lie." "It's okay. Sure, I've been mad and hurt and I've cursed you and sent you to hell more than once in the past week, but I understand you better now. Thanks for telling me." You kiss him, then lean back into his arms, the pain is gone from his eyes and he has a hint of a smile on his lips. Bucky hugs you tightly and gently strokes your back. You don't know exactly how long you've been sitting on your couch like this, but it's a nice feeling, you feel safe with him and you're glad that invisible wall between you has started to crumble. He opened up to you, told you the truth and showed you that he trusts you. And you're sure he has no idea how much that means to you. How much he means to you.
Domestic Bucky>>>>>
It’s proven yet again that you must have America’s ass and Bucky Barnes fall in love with you in order to hold the shield. You cannot have one without the other two. I don’t make the rules
The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Bloopers
Fair warning any and all post I make for the foreseeable future will be either Captain America and The Winter Soldier(White Wolf), or Shadow and Bone/Six of crows related
Sam Wilson 🇺🇸 Captain America
"Don't wanna live as an untold story
Rather go out in a blaze of glory
I can't hear you, I don't fear you
I'll live now 'cause the bad die last
Dodging bullets with your broken past
I can't hear you, I don't fear you now"
TFATWS spoilers!!!!
Sharon Carter The Power Broker
When you're in black slacks
With accentuating off-white pinstripes, whoa-oh
Everything goes according to plan
I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it
Because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better and you can't stand it
Marvel × Sherlock
Alignment chart
Enjoy this weird alignment chart!!!
Monica Rambeau + Thor Odinson + Bruce Banner + James Moriarty + Sherlock Holmes + John Watson + Mary Morstan + Bucky Barnes + Mrs. Hudson
Marvel × alignment chart
Just jokes, please don't take this seriously 💀
High achiever, don't you see?
Baby, nothing comes for free
They say I'm a control freak
Driven by a greed to succeed
Nobody can stop me
'Cause it's my problem if I want to pack up and run away
It's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway
It's my problem, it's my problem
If I feel the need to hide
And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die
Characters I share an Enneagram and MBTI type with
ISTP & 6w5:
Katniss Everdeen
John Wick
Sydney Novak
Michonne Hawthorne
Tony Padilla
Bucky Barnes *comics specifically*
Bobby Singer
Natasha Romanoff
Meg Murry
Loki Laufeyson × Thor Odison
But jealousy, jealousy (yeah)
All your friends are so cool, you go out every night
In your daddy's nice car, yeah, you're livin' the life
Got a pretty face,
pretty girlfriend, too
I wanna be you so bad, and I don't even know you
All I see is what I should be
Happier, prettier,
jealousy, jealousy
All I see is what I should be
I'm losin' it, all I get's, jealousy, jealousy
i’m not the main character,
i’m the closeted bisexual himbo
I am the mastermind,
he's my accomplice
You're only still alive
because I made a promise
We are running, we are running
But you're a killer
and I'm your best friend
Think it's unfair, your situation
You say I'm changing
Sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same
Can we talk about this later?
Even my smile chose to leave me and went with you. Bring it back. Bring you back.
Kill me now!