Audhd Problems - Tumblr Posts

Y'know sometimes it takes some tik toks to make you really think..

I don't think I've really thought about or realized how much my childhood really shaped me into the person I am..

How instead of male yelling voices it's female yelling voices that trigger me the most I feel like a lil kid again scared and afraid and I hate feeling like that.

Same old thing no one notices it I tell them but they ignore me.

My mother says are triggers are our own and need to deal with them on our own..

But how when you've never learned how too?

I have audhd and she knows this she's been told since my childhood in school and out of school that things will be harder for me to learn...

Idk I think she thinks I make excuses for why I can't do certain things..

She makes things ten times harder on me "oh it's not that hard" " you can do it it's not that hard" but it is and I don't have the ability to really explain why I can't do it...

It seems like this is just me complaining about the same ol things I already have...

I know I'm pathetic I'm 25 n still living with my mom but I don't have anywhere else to go..

Mission of the day : finding out if my head ache is caused by:

My hair being pulled back tightly

My eyes still adapting to my new glasses

My eyes sensibility to lights

The lack of sleep

The need for more water

The cold I still have 6 weeks

Just a random head ache

The teacher pissing me off

Or all of the combined.

Forgettin wtf I posted and being surprise also confused af whenever I see people commenting is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying

Then don't 💕✨️ Live your authentic life being autistic. Get a new therapist that specializes in autism. Having someone explain to you why you do things the way you do it, and tell you IT'S OK, is pretty rad. Don't let people try to force you into a NT frame. 💕

Change

Is it such a radical statement to say I don't want to change? Is it so hard to understand that I don't want to force myself to make eye contact in an interview for a job I don't want? To drain my energy by talking to people I don't feel comfortable with?

My comfort zone is just that. I like it here. I don't want to leave. I want to get better at taking the bus, I want to get better at managing my panic attacks, but I don't feel the need to pressure people into being my friends or be dishonest about who I am, the way my parents and my therapist say I should.

I am in no way saying I want the world to change to better suit my needs. I would just like to be able to make small adjustments to make my immediate environment suck a little less butt without feeling judged. I don't want to just live with it. I don't want to let go of things that aren't a big deal. I don't want to calm down. I don't want to try to live an allistic life in an autistic body. I just want to exist peacefully.

man I wish people understood how much it sucks ass to be neurodivergent and trying to find the middle ground where people like/tolerate you. like, I'm either "boring" (trying to wait my turn in conversations, holding space for other people, taking a back seat to let others get some spotlight) or "too much" (too loud/talking too much, getting excited to share, trying to participate in group conversations/activities). No one really talks about how much of being neurodivergent is just sort of trying to make yourself palatable.

I feel like so much of my life has been spent trying to find this effortless sort of middle ground everyone else seems to automatically already know, and I'm always swinging too far one way or the other. I'm lucky to have neurodivergent friends who grok me, but goddamn I wish that I could just like, exist without the constant background script in my brain that's like "you're being too loud. You're not talking enough. you're being self-centered. you're being boring. you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong." I feel like I'm back in high school trying to make friends but stuck as the eternal "weird kid"

it's just... lonely and sucks bad.

Agh I hate summer break because school is the ONLY thing that gave me a SEMBLANCE of a schedule so now I just LAZE AROUND IN MY BED ALL DAY and I HATE talking on the phone and texting bcs while talking on the phone gives me STRESS for NO REASON and texting means I can't see what other people actually think my words MEAN so I come across WEIRD PROBABLY and just hhhhhhhhhhhhh

Audhd. Fun.

Me:*Goes in the kitchen and grabs a glass out of the cabinet and puts glass on table and then goes to fridge to get the orange juice and pours in orange juice and put orange juice back in the cabinet and walks off*

Me:*Comes back to put the orange juice in the fridge*💀

Me:*Has spent the entire day hyper fixating on a new random story that I just came up with*

My lungs: "U DO KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BREATHE EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE RIGHT? YOU'RE WRITING A STORY, NOT FACING HITLER"

My muscles:"You're literally missing your daily workout -

My bladder:"U NEED TO PEE!"

My stomach:"Pls ....feed.....me....star ar starving-"

My hair:"U haven't brushed in weeks -

My Mom:"Honey u need to sleep... it's been years"

My whole body:"You're literally overheating and dehydrated 💀" (it's really hot today)

Do you guys have a grounding box? What kinds of things do you use if so?

We do!! Though, we call it our sensory box. It's got a large mix of things we've collected over the years (and I do mean years.. we've got a baby rattle in here from childhood, lol)

essential oils and candles for scent based grounding

fidget toys: chewy things, pointy things, fidget spinners, fidget cubes, head scratcher, pop-it, putty

a kaleidoscope

stuffies: including three peas in a pod that we can throw at stuff without doing damage if someone's angry

puzzles: Rubik's Cube, one of those ball pushy things, and a couple metal puzzles

self harm alternatives: acupressure bracelets and rings, silicone slap bands, and some random keys haha

and a letter from my mum about how much she loves us (as a system)

and the box is decorated with things that make us happy!!

Bro how are you meant to meet new people????

Like

There is this group of people that I share a class with and they keep talking about all the things I like and I really want to join in.

But at the same time how would I do that???

Do I just say, "Hi, I also have brainrot!!!! I too, am cringe!"

Help