Desperation - Tumblr Posts
Holding (out for a hero)
Looking for another guy who’s interested in doing a piss hold either today or tomorrow, send me a message or something if you’re down.
The hold will end when one of us pisses our pants and if you’re comfortable with it the loser will send the winner a pic or vid of their accident.
If anyone wants to toilet control me, HMU - I need to be controlled
A needy sub clinging onto their dom’s hoodie when riding their thigh, tugging at it and hiding their face against the dom’s neck while grinding down harder and whining
oh the way subs shove their faces into the crook of your neck when they're needy and grinding on you, the way they whimper, that pitiful look in their eyes, begging, pleading for any kind of attention at all. they deserve to be edged to tears and then slow fucked until their head lulls and their eyes roll back and they're shaking with pleasure
god somebody putting me on my back and pushing their cock/strap inside me after hours of teasing and then refusing to move, forcing me to humiliate myself by squirming and bucking my hips to fuck myself on them, whimpering and begging desperately 🥵
thinking about looking down on a beautiful boy laying beneath me, hands tied up so he cant do anything, looking so wrecked and worked up after edging him so long and not letting him cum, before finally sinking down onto his cock while telling him how pretty he looks and riding him hard finally giving him what he wants and he starts crying because after waiting so long its just too much, untying his hands so he can grip onto my thighs hard enough to leave bruises and fucking up into me until he cums looking like a fucked out mess
I want to be groped and fondled and rubbed over my clothes until I'm so hard and wet that all I can think about is how horny I am, how much I want to be fucked. I want them to pull my boxers down and spread me open and look at how desperately I want them. "what a needy boy," they croon as they trace fingers through the wet and up over the swell of my cock. They slide them across my tongue, make me taste myself, smile as I groan and buck my hips. I want them to push a dildo into my sloppy cunt and pull my boxers up, yanking them high on my hips to chafe against my cock and tell me to keep nice and still while they fuck my face with their fingers, smearing my saliva all over my cheeks. Their desperate slut, leaking all over his boxers, drooling all over their fingers, being their willing toy.
thinking about being fully clothed but with a dildo all the way inside me while we make out,, you keep pressing your thigh between my legs to push it in deeper ,, i’m whining as i hump your leg and you’re calling me pathetic :)
fun idea i'm tossing around: tying up a boy so he's totally immobile, can't move an inch not even to squirm. he gets to wear a blindfold and some noise-cancelling headphones. his legs are spread so i have the easiest access to my favorite toys. now, normally, i'd want him to watch while i play with his hole and his cock, but this time i want him to really focus on how good he feels. he should just think of himself as a good toy with a hard, achey cock and a needy hole. he can't see, he can't hear, and he can't move, but he can feel every little touch. to really settle him in, i'd pump his cock first so he's extra sensitive and then it's ready to be edged for a good hour or two. it can't cum because toys don't cum! i could pump his hole too before i stretch it out with a thick dildo to really make his hole feel good. no thoughts, just pure desperation and sensation
‘phantom pains’, caitlin conlon // ‘what i could never confess without some bravado’, emily palermo // ‘i will’, mitski // ‘a self-portrait in letters’, anne sexton // ‘desperation sits heavy on my tongue’, @/tullipsink // ‘hunger makes me’, jess zimmerman // ‘coffee and cigarettes’, sade andria zabala
You know that feeling that you're stuck and that no matter what you do NOTHING seems to be happening for you and the rest of the people move forward even those that don't deserve it? yeah...
~Even as a writer and poet, I cannot find the words to describe the look on his face, the conviction in his eyes as he stared at me across the crowded room. The way my stomach filled with butterflies as I watched his lips form the words, "Love you". But if I could find the words... oh dear reader, if I could just find the WORDS! I'd write them over and over until my fingers were soaked in ink and blood.~
-a poem of a new kind
Jewels of Truth Statements & Favorite Quotes of the Month
Hello All, As I watch the BBC World news cable Tv service as one of my favorite cosmopolitan news reporting channels. I'm hearing a disturbing Islamophobia trend amongst legislators in France. I understand the nation of France is gripped in fear and is bravely steadfast in the face of hate filled Islamic heretics as terrorists. A knee jerk reaction is taking place as a backlash by perhaps well intentioned legislators in France. Not knowing what to do to calm the populace they are pursuing low hanging fruit as mere window dressing. Inadvertently they will be alienating mutual French citizens with muslim backgrounds that are law abiding. In the United States in past years we have had legislators in our States and Federal government pursue partisan ideological low hanging fruit with laws known as Wedge Issues. Basically to stir things up for their base of supporters to gain political favoritism in future elections for voters and political campaign contributions. To pander in the worst sense to divide Americans on distracting issues such as: American Flag burning, Gay Marriage, and Abortions. To distract Americans from the real day to day issues of the household pocketbook and quality of life necessities overall. This is an underhanded cheap maneuvering tactics by political leaders in government to appear as doing something important by pulling off a classic hand of misdirection upon the nation. French legislators out of sheer panic are tugging upon the lowest hanging branch to get something done. In this case it's banning Muslim women from wearing their cultural dress of the veil. The rationale which seems as a form of false logic is to see the lovely faces of muslim woman so there's nothing that they can hide. Innocently this is xenophobia since to my knowledge no terrorist with a rifle or bomb in France has been a muslim woman to date. They've all been crazed men and none has stooped down to pretend being a woman in muslim female dress with a veil. To badger muslim woman which none has attacked France to date. Is a case of bullying woman because it will appease the xenophobic fears of the larger populace of non-muslim French anglos predominantly. If you want to alienate Muslim peace abiding allies as French citizens and voters in France. Go ahead and screw up your society even more what's one more undemocratic act against muslims in France? Why not ban all face coverings in France from the civilian populace including any Ski Masks & Festive Celebratory Masks. Except allow the Police and the Military to wear their ski masks to protect their identities in terms of law enforcement. Everyone else even in harsh winter weather is forbidden to wear any face coverings be it a man, woman, or child in France collectively. So it doesn't just punish the Muslim woman in France, but the entire society as a whole. Share the pain collectively and perhaps some sort of empathy can develop in the years to come with the law abiding Muslim French populace away from the current misogyny and racism. I apologize to all my readers for that rant since I attempt to speak Truth to Compassionate Power as a Spiritual Witness. My faith is the absolute Love of God in all faiths and secular humane philosophies by a practical ethos in moderation. Now onto today's trio of Angelic clairvoyantly channeled spiritual wisdom inclusive statements in the series #1,122-1,124. On the topics of the: Body, Fear, and Desperation in life. May you find them informative and help you explore the understanding of the human condition to overcome. Body: 1122) When our physical bodies fail us we always lament to ourselves whether silently or aloud our displeasing suffering. We begin to realize truly how frail the human condition can be in bodily vulnerabilities. Although our mortal bodies are leased to us by God(dess) as a divine gift by our maker. What truly shine’s forth from lifetime to lifetime is our memories, personality (minus the mortal ego), convictions, and dearly our loves for life and each other. This is a sublime aspect of our intrinsic connection with ourselves and with this one life we hold in a precious manner. We can cradle this one life in this one moment of the forever now of eternity with an utmost gratitude. A gratitude for the good in our lives, no matter how fractured it may seem currently. Our bodies as people will fail us eventually one day when we are meant to be reunited with the Great Beyond. Until that holiest of reunions personally our sacred moment as our native strength by unconditional Love will hold us together. By the mercy and compassion of the splendid “Holy Spirit of God” that has afforded us the high honors for having traveled this way as eternal souls upon Creation. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo. Fear:
1123) Those that say to themselves dearly that they are afraid to live. Are right, in as much as a self-fulfilling prophecy literally as to their outlook overall. Stop and contemplate for a moment what is causing this foreboding fear? Start to peel away the false justifications and reveal to yourself the kernel of truths discovered piecemeal. Only when you can feel such a truth emotionally will you begin to know your inherent freedom from such a fear.
Mentally knowing any personal truth on its own merit as a means to understanding can be a form of self-clarification. One also has to feel it, and only then can it become real for your heart and soul earnestly. To be well grounded one must authentically accept that illogical fears is a form of guilt and pain from unresolved issues as a person. By moving through the fear as a form of compassionate processing internally can you redeem your self-worth naturally. Surrender your pain and truly know you’re not alone in your suffering. You must also take note that you’ll also won’t be alone with your personal triumphs shared collectively to all that matter to you personally in living well in spirit. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo. Desperation:
1124) Desperation is a two edged sword that cuts both ways upon its victims. For one desperation compels an otherwise common man or woman to empower themselves through angst. The other is that the afflicted of life lose all sense of their gracious humanity in order to gain an ill accomplishments of sorts. All desperation is a motivating force for change, but such a change isn’t always welcomed or deserved as a consequence. Any form of destructive desperation will compel the sane person to change usually for the worst because they feel the need to act because of a dying pain in their gut. Most forms of desperation in any form is often motivated out of fear more than a solid rationale as a justification.
One must be wary of the frenzied person who goes headlong into danger without reason or just cause. The outcome will be a mixed bag of woe when the urge is especially predicated upon revenge. Sometimes quiet desperation can be constructive as a burning desire for positive change to start actions that will support an individual. Anything other than that what is achieved for good will be fleeting as to the costs involved in such a scenario. Often it is the opposite that bad luck has led to more misery than abundant relief as a consequence. Be still for the desperate man or woman may cause more harm than any redeemable form of deserved justice as an expression of their combined actions. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo. If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. ---Adrienne Gusoff.
Hold to the now, the here, through which all future plunges to the past. ---James Joyce.
Looking behind I am filled with gratitude. Looking forward I am filled with vision. Looking upwards I am filled with strength. Looking within I discover peace. ---Quero Apache Prayer.
We are saved only by love-love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share. ---Tennessee Williams.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. ---Matthew 5:8.
Ivan "Atrayo" Pozo-Illas, has devoted 21 years of his life to the pursuit of clairvoyant automatic writing channeling the Angelic host. Ivan, is the author to the spiritual wisdom series of "Jewels of Truth" consisting of 3 volumes published to date. He also channels conceptual designs that are multi-faceted for the next society to come that are solutions based as a form of dharmic service. Numerous examples of his work is available at "Atrayo's Oracle" blog site of 11 years plus online. Your welcome to visit his website "Jewelsoftruth.us" for further information or to contact Atrayo directly.
A crew on a deep sea fishing boat sadly saw a whale struggling as it was ensnared in a large fishing net. The web covered almost its entire body and was wrapped around the tail and fins making it difficult to swim or dive.
The crew carefully pulled alongside with hooks and knives in an attempt to free the struggling animal, but each time they reached down to help, the whale violently resisted their efforts. After several attempts to save the whale, the caring crew sadly pulled away only to watch the whale continuing to try to free itself in vain from this deadly snare which would certainly guarantee its death.
This is a perfect picture of people in this life. We are all born into a web of sin that ensnares us that will also eventually lead us to our demise. The boat that comes alongside to free us from our bonds is God, yet the natural tendency of people likewise is to resist God’s help.
Just like that obstinate whale, you too can choose to fight against being saved, but there is no escape from this web of sin without the help of the great “Fisher of Men” - the LORD Jesus Christ.
Before The Web Of SIN ends your life, let God free you and you will not only live in this life, but in the next life in eternity. Let Him come close to you and simply ask Him to help you - AND HE WILL.
Friend, will you choose to do that today? Or will you resist and let that net drown you?
God Bless Your Day Jesus Loves You
NotesOnLife.org
She was(nt) mine
Everything I write about my girl is non-descript Lacking humanity Other writers have given more depth to phantoms. When did it happen, my muse? I am entirely sure she is no longer mine Nonetheless Do I miss her or do I miss my version of the truth of her? There is no truth of her. Do I miss the chaos we created? I create enough on my own. I'm fooling myself to think we created anything at all in our grand social experiment I can be sure I loved her, whoever she was. I'm sure I would have loved her, had I ever met her. We were a calendar floating on the last days of the year I can't say that this is sadness I have only decided three things: a. it hurt b. it mattered and because of this c. I am not the same
haunted
I had to admit that it was different. Part of me feels like we needed to reconnect in order to facilitate a proper goodbye and not admit to ourselves that it was idealized. We deserved that, at least I had missed her but when I touched her the ghost of the hands of another reminded me that she left She left with the intention of never coming back. She had left. She had left me. I loved her and maybe always will Only loving her this time didn't feel like a sacrifice I loved myself just enough to notice When we moved together our bodies were the same but contrived or not she tried to teach her heart to beat for another She left. Sleeping beside her reminded me of sleeping without her Hearing her apologize only reminded me of what she was sorry for The fact was she had left me and she couldn't un-leave me. For the remainder of the time we would spend together When she left a room I couldn't help but think of what it felt like when she didn't come back Even when she brushed her teeth, I was reminded her toothbrush still probably sat in a holder of someone else's sink. I tried to love her but not fearlessly like I had in the past because I wondered what it would have meant for me. I refused to find out what it may have meant for my soul to knowingly live in a haunted house
baltimore
Baltimore, again. 8 AM, sweating, shaking on the verge of puking up stomach acid. the car is dead silent. are we early? are they late? is this how its going to be forever? who knows. who cares. i’ve been watching time pass and slip through the cracks between my fingers. it seems more apparent than usual. we are parked at a gas pump. each time i make eye contact its quickly broken. i know what they are thinking. ‘what a shame.’ ‘my morning could be worse.’ maybe they even feel gratitude. as they finish filling up, i watch them reach for their phones. i wonder if they are calling their daughters and sons. on the surface, just to check in. but inwardly, thankful their children aren’t heroin addicts. no one wants their baby to grow up to be a junkie. i steal a glance at my other half she’s ill but she’s beautiful. she’ll feel better soon enough. a young handsome black man starts over and my heart skips a beat. we exchange currency for oblivion. we drive away to find somewhere to hit. it feels like my first kiss. i can’t remember what makes me happy anymore. my happiness is artificial and fits nicely in a syringe. when i get on, i can breathe again. i melt into the passenger seat, successful. i watch her try to find a vein, in and out of consciousness. she’s millimeters away from getting well. she’ll get there. i let myself nod but for a moment, i wonder what that young, handsome black man wanted to be when he grew up. i guess it doesn’t matter. everyone crosses paths at the bottom.
I need that "I-just-got-out-of-prison-and-I've-not-had-pussy-in-three-years!" level fucking!