Funny But True - Tumblr Posts
To tell you the truth, I’m considering human-reassignment surgery 🌎⚠️✌️
If you ask me, I’m not even real 😶🌫️
One thing about me; the more feminist you are, the wetter I’m gonna get ⚖️🧘♀️💦
[Me in Heaven]: Thanks for having me. Where do I log back into Tumblr?
God: Don’t start
🚫 Texting me “Wyd” at 3am doesn’t impress me
🚫 Taking me to dinner doesn’t impress me
🚫 Agreeing with everything I say and do doesn’t impress me
✅ Stalking my Tumblr so you can like and reblog all of my posts…that will impress me 🥰👏🎯
Him: You’re so sexy babe, setting the mood with all of these candles ❤️🔥
Me: First of all, this is a seance ☠️
I can do just about anything as long as my entire future is on the line. 🫣🤸🌅
"DOUBLE IN SIZE EVERY NIGHT" Bruh with the weight I've gained in the past few years I might as well
Kinda feel like there's some untapped meme/reaction image potential from old horror movie trailers...
what is the human body but a dreadful collection of competing needs?
Cardiovascular system: Okay, we need some exercise if we're going to keep working in the future!
Joints: You... you want to EXERCISE? Do you have any idea how precarious things are around here?
Musculoskeletal system: We've got an injury here -- you need to treat it with an anti-inflammatory or it's going to get worse. Not acetaminophen, like ibuprofen.
Digestive system: WTF NO you can't DO that to me I will suffer FOREVER!
Musculoskeletal faction A: Something is wrong and we are going to scream endlessly unless you adapt the way you move to Weird Strictures X.
Musculoskeletal faction B: So about Weird Strictures X. We object strenuously. We're going to revolt now.
Endocrine system crashing through the wall: I do what I want LOL.
Thisssss omg😂😂😂😂😂
Know how to choose your pan according to the use you want to make of it.
Zombie girl? Zombie girl. 🧟♀️
im neither an alive girl nor a dead girl but rather a secret third thing
This is unironically exactly how used to watch My Kitchen Rules... Those good old days when I actually used to have free time to watch TV. 😢
I'm giving this advice to a friend of mine cause she could definitely use it.
Happens every night I have some free time to finally read.
Has anyone actually helped Bobby find out the truth? I've never tried that! 🤔
"It's okay to not be perfect, the bad man won't come and get you!" -FunkyFrogBait
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for USA !!
