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Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #5

Dadam in ACTION!!

Ares is talking with Y/N, but doesn’t notice the looming threat that’s right behind him as Adam forcefully YANKS Ares by his locks to a more private area to… talk

Adam (To Ares): That girl is a CHILD. I don’t wanna see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you UNDERSTAND me??

Ares: Y-yes sir-!

Adam (Activates Divine Reflection): Have you LOST your mind? Cause I’ll help you find it!

Adam: What you looking for? Ain’t nobody gonna help you out here. Zeus can come through that door and he’s not gonna help you if you don’t stay away from my child (Is ready to have Reginleif turn into his Knuckleduster to beat up Ares)

Dadam couldn’t give a fuck if it was Zeus… He would actually strike HARDER if it was him… If the Gods try anything with his children, he’ll kick them all flat on their asses as the FIRST Warning…

Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #7

Dadam and ‘The Talk’

Maki!Y/N is getting ready to her training session with Raiden it’s a date and Dadam wants to give her the talk about Boys…

Adam: Y/N, sweetheart… (Sits down next to her) Now, before Raiden comes over. I think I should have a little talk with you about boys

Maki!Y/N: Great…

Adam (Wraps his arm around her): They’re all dogs. Got it?

Maki!Y/N: I already knew that

Adam (Smiles and kisses her forehead): Wonderful, have a good time, sweetheart (Gets up and leaves her room, ready to have a… different kind of talk with her ‘Partner’)

Dadam don’t care who he’s gonna have the other talk with, he WILL get his point across if Y/N gets her feelings hurt, he WILL kill them…

Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #12

Wednesday Y/N and Cain with Baby Able

Y/N who is 12 years old, roped Cain who is 8 years old, into doing an experiment with their newborn baby brother Able, for Science, so they’re on top of a tall building

Wednesday Y/N (Holding Able): Cain, the baby weights 10 pounds, the cannonball weights 20 pounds. Which will hit the stone walkway first?

Cain: I’m still on fractions

Wednesday Y/N: Which do you think?

Cain (Unsure): The cannonball?

Wednesday Y/N: Very good. But which one will bounce?

Cain (Thinking): The baby?

Wednesday Y/N: There’s only one way to find out (Holds Able out in front of her) Ready?

Y/N is holding Able out to drop him while Cain is holding out the cannonball to drop as well

Wednesday Y/N: 1…. 2….

Wednesday Y/N and Cain: 3…! (Both let go of Able and the cannonball at the same time)

Meanwhile… at the same time right under them

Adam (To Eve): What a glorious evening…

Eve (Smiling): Oh Adam…

Adam (Suddenly opens the window and catches a falling Able, turns around and looks at Eve with a shocked look): My love…

Eve (Surprised): Oh dear!

Meanwhile, the cannonball hits Odin on his head, making him grunt in annoyance while his crows are freaking out where the cannonball even came from

Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #16

Adam the Best Father

Adam’s only 2 regrets before the Fall was when he wasn’t there to protect Eve from the Serpent and when she and Y/N were alone on Trail about the Apple without him there to protect them

Adam (To Y/N about his regrets): I’m sorry I wasn’t a better father

Wednesday!Y/N: Could we please do without the overt display of emotion?

Adam (Nods): Yes, of course, I know they make you feel uncomfortable

Wednesday!Y/N: How many fathers hand their daughter a fencing blade when she’s 5 years old?

Adam (Proudly): Your saber strokes were an essay in perfection

Wednesday!Y/N: Or teach her to swim with sharks?

Adam: They found you as cold-blooded as I do

Wednesday!Y/N: The right way to flay the Serpent?

Adam: He really did taste like chicken when prepared properly

Wednesday!Y/N: The point I’m trying to make is you taught me how to be strong and independent. How to navigate myself in a world full of treachery and prejudice. You are the reason why I understand how imperative it is that I never lose sight of myself

Wednesday!Y/N: So as far as fatherhood goes, I would say you’ve been more than adequate

Adam (Deep breath): Gracias, Y/N…

Eve, Cain, Able, Valkyrie Sisters, Human Fighters and Brunhilde (Who heard this conversation):

The Gods (Who heard this conversation):

Adam taught Y/N how to be strong to not only protect her family, but also herself

Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #20

Y/N Swings

Y/N (Happily): I swing both ways~!

Y/N (Serious): Violently. With a bat

Y/N (Has her Valkyrie Partner turn into a baseball bat to bash some heads in): COME GET SOME MOTHERFUCKERS!!

Thor and Lu Bu (Both very interested): Hi

Adam:

Feral Y/N is something I definitely like now

Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #23

How Y/N help Hera get Divorced

Zeus refuses to sigh the Divorce Papers, resulting in Hera having a meltdown in front of Y/N, only for her to pat her head and walk off towards the God Side (Who for some reason are partying in her Room) so she can… Talk…

The Gods (Toss out Brunhilde, Adam, Raiden and Goll)

Goll: I don’t understand, we did everything right

Brunhilde: Yeah, (To Adam) Raiden turned responsible and Goll showed some back bone, I don’t get it…

Adam: Hmm, something’s missing… Some kind of ruthless ruler…

Raiden: Yeah… A wrathful divinity, that could crush this joyful chaos with one hit from their iron fist! Someone like-

Everyone paused when they hear a crash and turn to see Y/N who broke the door slamming it closed behind her as she walks over giving each and every one of them a glare, resulting in them becoming frightened and too scared to look her in the eye as she passed by them

Y/N (Slams the door open to see a bunch of gods in her house with her eyes glowing white, thus she simply snaps her fingers, causing a large shockwave that goes through all of Valhalla):

All the Gods (Deadly silent as they all look at the small human in surprise, fear and awe that a mortal did that):

Y/N (Demonic Voice): Zeus, you ARE going to sign those paper. THEN you all are going to clean this place until it looks better than when you arrived. Then you will leave. And never come back…

Zeus (Scoffs): Or what?

Y/N (Grabs him by his neck and has her look into her eyes, which reveal an endless void of suffering souls, death and destruction):

Zeus (Develops even more wrinkles and even looses some MORE of his hair in fear and he immediately runs off to grab a broom to start sweeping):

The other Gods who were present, thus began to clean as well out of fear from the Wrath of Y/N

Adam (Signs happily): Y/N gets that from her mother…

Y/N gets shit DONE… And somehow ended up getting Marriage Proposals herself after this…

Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #27

Dadam Mode: ACTIVATED!

Y/N (Annoyed): This isn’t fair; I want romance!

Raiden: How about bromance?

Y/N: It’s not the same

Raiden: Dude. . .

Y/N: I’m not a dude, I’m a hottie!

Loki: Your bromance just got interesting

Adam (Right behind Loki):

Dadam is ready to throw hands…

Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #29

Know the Difference

Adam: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous

Raiden: What if it bites me and it dies?

Y/N: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Raiden, learn to listen

Sasaki: What if it bites itself and I die?

Jack: That's voodoo

Goll: What if it bites me and someone else dies?!

Buddha: That's correlation, not causation

Tesla: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Qin Shi Huang: That's kinky!

Brunhilde:

Just a regular day for the Human Fighters

Awww🥹😭😭

RoR Incorrect quotes#164 Our Dadam

Adam*Smiles as his ADULT children cling to him as he hugs them*Now,Repeat after me~..."I'm Big"

Human Fighters, Cain & Abel + Y/n*Sniffling as you look at him* I'M BIG!

Adam*Humming proudly*"I'm Brave"

Human Fighters, Cain & Abel + Y/n*With breaking voices nodding*"I-I'm brave"!

Adam*One by one he lays a fatherly peck on your foreheads*..."I'm BEAUTIFUL"

Human Fighters, Cain & Abel + Y/n*Trembling lips and sniffles as you cling to his arms, legs, and waist...any place to hug him as you all cry out*"I'M BEAUTIFUL"!!!

Adam*Opens his arms wider to hug each of you closer to him smiling tenderly*There there~Gimme huggies~

Gods/Goddesses:...

~ Record of Ragnarok no sense🤪~

Episode 3

Y/N:ughhhh dad I'm hungry

Adam:Hello hungry, I'm Adam.

*silence*

Y/N:*gets up*...

Adam:???

Y/N:....*leaves the room*

Adam:Was it that bad?

Cain/Abel: Yes

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 6

Aphrodite: Aren't you worried that all the women of your age are married?

Y/N: Well of course I'm worried,but...uhhh...I mean...uhhh what can I do for them??

Aphrodite:dear....that's not what...

Adam: Yeah what could she do if they are married? Those poor women!!

Y/N:Dad...what are you doing here ?

Adam:Just checking on you....

Y/N:And....why??

Adam:I just want to be sure that you innocence is still intact, especially when you are with HER.

Aphrodite: Human, I wouldn't do anything to harm her.

Adam: I have no doubts that my daughter can defend herself of course ...but she is obvious when someone is trying to play the matchmaker.

Aphrodite:*dramatic gasp* I would never! I may be goddess of beauty and love but I wouldn't NEVER do something so childish!!!

Adam:Oh really? Then...who were those two bastards I just punched outside?? *blood on his knuckles*

Aphrodite:.....

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 13

(Notes: Female reader cause...come on Dadam would be a hyper protective dad if he had a daughter.

Deities involved: Hades,Loki,Shiva, Poseidon and Thor.)

~When Y/N brings her male buddies at home.~

Y/N:*happy aura* I'm so happy that Dad let you come with me!!

Loki:I'm surprised too.

Shiva:Yeah "I mean he's called the lover boys killer"

Hades: I hope he can enjoy the apple cider I brought here.

Y/N:Of course he will!*smiles and opens the door* Dad! We're here!

Adam:Welcome back home sweetheart*Pat's Y/N's head*

Y/N:*giggles* Are mom and big brothers home?

Adam:Yes, they are in garden right now. Why don't you go give them a hug? They missed you a lot.

Y/N: *nods* Okay! My friends can help you preparing dinner!! *turns to the boys* It won't take too long!*runs in the garden*

The gods:.....*they all look at Adam*

Adam:*keeps smiling while looking at Y/N*

Poseidon/Thor:....*clearly have a bad feeling*

Shiva: She always looks so innocent."I bet she's a naughty girl under the sheets" *pervert smirk*

Loki:Yeah....so innocent..."I really want to corrupt that innocence "* psycho smirk*

Adam:....*the smile drops*

Poseidon/Thor: "Idiots he can tell what you're thinking "

Hades:*coughs cause he knows that he has to make a good impression * It's an honor to meet you Adam, I'm Hades,a close 'friend' of your daughter. As a gift for your hospitality I brought you some Apple cider...

Adam:I have five rules. Memorize them.

Hades:Umh...of course I mean it's your house...

Adam: Rule number ONE: Don't bother sucking up. I HATE you. That's not gonna change.

Hades: I...I beg your pardon?

Adam: You'll give me your phone numbers and social media when I call you, you WILL answer. That's rule number TWO. You're not welcome here you're insects, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the food chain. You WILL obey to me without complaining.*menacing aura*

Loki:*starts shaking*

Adam: When you go out with her or come here to do anything, you will ALWAYS keep some distance from her. Which brings me to rule number THREE, don't try be a Romeo or a Don Giovanni when you're alone with her. If I don't see doesn't mean I won't know if you did something.

Thor/Poseidon:....*nod*

Adam: Rule number FOUR:... If she calls me....telling me that you hurt her or tried doing SOMETHING to her don't bother call me to give me explanations.Not only you will have lost your chances with her but you definitely asked for death.

Shiva:*raises his hand while shaking*

Adam:what?

Shiva: You said five rules. That was only four.

Hades:...."He did not...just ask him that..."*mentally facepalming*

Adam: *evil smirk* Rule number FIVE: You must refer to me as SIR. If you want to live. Do not call me Adam, man, bud, buddy,pops or "dad". You won't EVER get the privilege and the honor to do that.

Shiva:....of...of course sir....

Adam:Good.

Y/N: I'm back!! Guys,are you okay? You look pale.*clueless *

Thor:....we...

Adam:They are fine sweetheart, they must be tired,I heard that coming from Valhalla can be exhausting for a god. Right?*smiles*

Poseidon:....it's true...

Y/N: Is that so....well you can rest now! Mom and I will prepare lunch!!

Adam: Sweetheart you should rest too, Cain and Abel can help your mother. Why don't WE give them a tour of the house?

Y/N:*smiles* That's a wonderful idea dad!!

Adam: Well then, it's decided.*keeps smiling*

Poseidon: "We knew...what kind of man was Adam"

Hades:"....The rumours were clear..."

Thor: ".....But we ignored them ...and still came here..."

Loki:"....We literally threw ourselves in the lion's den..."

Shiva:"...Sure we may be gods...but now..."

The gods: "We're really fucked."

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 18

(Oowlie Note: the reader here MUST be biologically a female, so I have to use she/her pronouns I'm sorry for my non binary readers 😥)

Y/N:*having a nice talk with Jack while sitting on Heracles' legs*

Snake:*enters in the room * "Why do I have to bring the message to Lord Hercules !? Why Hermes couldn't do it!? Worst of all Adam is here..." *clearly pissed*

Y/N:*stops talking*

Jack:Dear, is there something wrong?? Is the tea not of your liking? *clearly sad*

Y/N:*stands up and smiles* Oh Jack, I do like this tea I just have to....do a little thing right now.

Jack:*confused*

Heracles:*remembering that time in episode 16 * "Oh shit"

Y/N:*walking towards the Snake*

Snake:What do you want, lowly human?

Y/N:*punches him with all the strength she has in her body*

Adam:*claps*

Lu Bu:*thumbs up*

Owlie:*films everything*

Snake:WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?

Y/N:....this.....IS FOR THE PAIN THAT EVERY SINGLE WOMAN HAS TO ENDURE EVERY FUCKING MONTH.

Snake:...what?

Y/N:YOU AND THAT DAMN APPLE!! YOU ARE THE FUCKING REASON OF OUR PAIN AND SUFFERING *kicks him*

Snake:STOP IT! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!

Y/N: I'LL AVENGE ALL MY FELLOW SISTERS!

Adam: Yeah! Make him pay sweetie!

Eve/Jack:...."Should I tell her...that he is not actually the reason why they/we have our period?"*sweatdrop*

Nostradamus: Wait.... you think that's why you have your periods? ....

Nostradamus: *laughs*HAHAHAHA OH MY, FOR REAL?!!! HAHAHAA You women are all s-

Y/N:*turns around*

Nostradamus:...sssssssso strong to endure that pain! Snake you should pay for your crimes!*clearly shaking in fear*

Snake: WHAT!?

All the men inside the room: "Nice save Nostradamus"

RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 😊

Episode 22

~Happy Fathers day!~

Child Y/N: Daddy!!Daddy look!!*holding a drawing*

Adam:What a beautiful drawing you did Y/N.*smiles* Is that me?

Child Y/N:*smiles* Yes!!

Adam:Oh,you sure made your dad look awesome! I'm not that good looking!

Child Y/N:*puff her cheeks* Daddy is the most attractive man in the world!! When I grow up I wanna marry him!!

Adam:*chuckles* "So cute"

~Present~

Adam:"Haaaa those were good times"

Eve:Y/N will be here soon with her partner please...be gentle with them.

Adam:Eve you don't have to worry. I will welcome them regardless who they are. "I cannot say they will be safe if they are a man"*dark smile*

Cain/Abel:"Is written on your face that you will kill them if they are a male"

*The bell rings*

Eve:Y/N is here!*happy and goes to open the door*

Y/N:Hi mom!! *smiles and hugs her*

Eve:Oh welcome back Y/N!! My sweet child! Oh and you must Y/N's part-...

Odin:I'm...Odin....pleased to meet you.

The whole family had the same thought:"HE IS SO OLD THAT HE COULD BE HER FATHER/ME"

Y/N:I brought an apple pie for you Dad! Happy Father's Day!!

Adam:....T-thank you darling*force a smile*

~During dinner~

Y/N:*smiles and eats* Huginn, Munnin are you enjoying the food.

Huginn:It's good

Munnin:*eating everything *

Abel:...."Everything seems fine??..."*sweating*

Cain:"Dad seems calm....I wonder why"*scared as fuck*

Eve:*looks at her husband*

Adam*thinking about 1000 ways to kill Odin* "Why did she choose him!? My precious little girl!"

Y/N:Oh...daddy can you pass me the salt?

Adam/Odin:*both reach for the salt *

Abel/Cain/Huginn/Munnin: "Oh shit"

Eve: "Oh sweet heaven"

Adam:Odin.....I think you need a check up on your hearing...she said Daddy...*ready to jump on Odin"

Y/N:*embarrassed looks at Odin* "Please do not say something to provocate him"

Odin:Your daughter calls me daddy too.

Adam:.....*jumps on Odin and punches him*

Y/N:DAD NO!

[Owlie note: thank @luxthestrange they chose Odin for this xD]

Do you still write for records of Ragnarok, and would you write for Jack the ripper or Adam? ^^

Yes I do still write for ror and Adam and jtr