Self Discipline - Tumblr Posts

"Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self-esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding and wisdom. Choose to be kind over being right, and you’ll be right every time because kindness is a sign of strength." U.N. Owen.

Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.

OMG!! This is SOO true!! I wish someone had told me this when I was a kid...it would have made my life SOOO much easier!!

Normalize seeing someone's lack of effort as their lack of interest in you regardless of what they tell you. Giving you all of the right words, but none of the right actions is called manipulation. If a person wants to be with you, they prove it. Period.

Absolutely!! 💯 Once you realize that you ARE good enough and the only person who's happiness you can control in this life, you will attract the people who will genuinely want to be there for you.

Once we start loving ourselves, people no longer seem good to us unless they are actually good for us.

ACTUALLY.....ENOUGH SAID 🧐🤔

HOW TO BECOME "HER"

BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE

Work on building your self-confidence by recognizing your strengths & accomplishment. The moment I’ve decided to show up for my self every day. My self-confident jumped to the roof. 

How do you show up for yourself? Only tip you need…  Do the things you said you were gonna do! 

You said you were going to the gym 3x/week, do it. You said you would start that business, do it. You said you would stop eating out, do it.

SET GOALS

Identify your goals & values.

What is your dream job? Who do you want to become? What do you want to achieve in your life?

SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Learn to set clear boundaries in your personal & professional life.

« No » is a full sentence. Also remind yourself that people that react negatively to your boundaries weren’t meant to stay in your life to begin with.

PRACTICE SELF-CARE

Practice self-care & well-being. Make yourself a first priority.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVITY

Surround yourself with supportive and positive influences.

LEARN A HIGH INCOME SKILL

Learn a high income skill to become financially independent, so that you can allow yourself to reach your money goals and have the freedom to make choices that match your values and dreams without needing financial support from others.

READY TO BECOME "HER" ?

I endlessly admire fic authors who have betas and write chapters and chapters ahead of what they post because you best believe my needy ass is slapping just-finished, mildly edited and typo-laden fics onto AO3 the moment they’re done so I can get that sweet sweet validation

Why do I believe that I can't?

Lately, I've struggled with self-discipline and unhealthy habits. I asked myself: why do I believe that I can't?

Why do I believe that I cannot eat healthy, adhere to a schedule, and follow my exercise regimen?

Technically, I know I can: I used to do all this, and more. But in practice, I haven't been able to make myself reach the same heights.

So, why do I believe that I can't?

Maybe it's because I've let past failures weigh me down, convincing me that success is just out of reach. Maybe I've been too harsh with myself, letting negative self-talk dictate my actions—or lack thereof.

I compare myself to who I was at my peak or to others who seem to have it all together, and I feel like I fall short.

The fear of failing again looms large, making it easier to avoid trying altogether. Sometimes, it feels like perfection is the only acceptable outcome, and anything less means I shouldn't even bother.

It’s as if I’ve internalized every critical voice from my past, telling me I’m not good enough.

But here's the thing: I know these beliefs aren't truths—they're just stories I've been telling myself. And just like any story, they can be rewritten.

It’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing up, even when it’s hard. It’s about recognizing that setbacks don’t define me and that I have the power to challenge these thoughts.

I’m reminding myself that growth comes from the effort, not just the outcome.

I’m working on being kinder to myself, on breaking free from the fear of imperfection, and on celebrating small victories along the way.

Because deep down, I know I can do this. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again—one step, one choice at a time.

How to Move On Faster and Build Resilience

Dwelling on past failures and worries gets me exactly nowhere. Lately I've been trying to improve myself with the goal of becoming someone who moves on extremely fast, with resilience.

I'm hoping this change will help me navigate life's challenges more effectively and make me feel better in the everyday. I've written before about my annoying limiting belief that I can't ...

Here are the notes and guidelines I've collected that help me cultivate the ability of moving on fast:

🌱 1. Change Your Perspective on Setbacks

View Setbacks as Temporary: Tough times don’t last forever. But challenges are a normal and frequent part of life. See challenges as hurdles, not roadblocks.

Focus on the Lessons: Every experience, good or bad, teaches me something valuable. Take those lessons and grow.

💖 2. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t beat yourself up when things go wrong. Again, something always goes wrong, this is life. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.

Allow Yourself to Feel: It’s okay to feel. All feelings are valid. Process your emotions, and then gently move forward.

🌍 3. Practice Detachment

Recognize Impermanence: Change is the only constant. Embrace it, and let go of what no longer serves you.

Limit Emotional Investment: Care, but don’t over-invest in things beyond your control.

🧘‍♀️ 4. Strengthen Your Focus on the Present

Engage in Mindfulness: I'm the kind of person who can tend towards combative and destructive, so I have to remember to stay grounded in the now. It’s easy to get stuck in the past, but the present is where your power lies.

Break Tasks into Steps: Focus on what you can do next. Small steps lead to big changes. This sucks but it really works.

💪 5. Develop a Resilient Mindset

Embrace Flexibility: Life’s unpredictable. Be open to change, and adapt when necessary.

Build a Growth Mindset: See challenges as opportunities to grow, not reasons to give up.

🎯 6. Focus on What You Can Control

Act on the Controllable: Identify what you can change and take action. Let go of the rest.

Shift Your Energy: Move from dwelling on the past to creating a better present.

🌸 7. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you. Realistic vibes only. I don't want positive vibes when unwarranted, and don't want negative vibes full-stop.

Limit Negative Inputs: Protect your energy by avoiding negativity, whether it’s people, media, or environments. Emphasis on the media. Don't listen to music with lyrics containing negative messages; they become part of your reality and conditioning.

🚀 8. Set Future-Oriented Goals

Visualize Success: Focus on where you want to go, not where you’ve been. Set your sights on new goals. My past is full of achievements, but I have to move forward and not rest on my laurels.

Take Small Steps: Break your goals into achievable actions. Small wins build momentum.

🏃‍♂️ 9. Engage in Physical Activity

Exercise Regularly: Movement is medicine. It boosts mood and resilience.

Practice Relaxation Techniques: Yoga, meditation, and deep breathing help reduce stress and enhance emotional strength.

🌟 10. Practice Gratitude

Focus on the Positive: Shift your mindset from loss to abundance by regularly acknowledging what you’re thankful for.

Keep a Gratitude Journal: Write down what you’re grateful for each day. It’s a powerful habit.

✨ 11. Accept and Let Go

Acknowledge Closure: Recognize when something is over, and consciously decide to move on.

Perform a Letting-Go Ritual: Do something symbolic to release what’s holding you back. Burn that letter, delete those old texts—whatever it takes.

🌈 12. Embrace the Process

Understand It Takes Time: Moving on fast doesn’t mean rushing your emotions. Heal in your own time, but keep moving forward.

Celebrate Progress: Every step, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Celebrate it.

Resilience isn’t about avoiding pain. It’s about bouncing back stronger each time. 💪🌻

What advice would you give to someone struggling to find their path in their 30s?

Off the top of my head ...

Make a realistic assessment of yourself.

Your personal pros and cons. You need to center what you're good at, but you also need to pursue difficult goals and projects that you are not yet good at. Otherwise you'll never improve or learn anything new.

Let your childhood dreams guide you.

I wanted to be a writer as a little girl. Writing is now a big part of my job, but child me had creative writing in mind, so I now pursue this too in my spare time and I feel fulfilled.

Be decisive and move fast.

Timing is everything. When you make a decision, you need to execute as soon as possible, preferably immediately. If you don't, in a few weeks or months you'll cool down on the idea. Your circumstances will have changed, potential collaborators will get swept up in other stuff, etc. You'll give up and never do it. So just do it asap.

My Weight Loss Journey: What Works & What Fails 🍽️🌿🧘🏻‍♀️

A few years ago, I lost 20 kg in 6 months, reaching a BMI of 19. I was working with a personal trainer, I had a fitness routine, my nutrition was strict, and my body fat was at around 19%.

That was when I looked my best — and then I let it go.

In the past two years, I gained back 10 kg. I look fine, but the standard that had been reached is very far.

Some people accept themselves at a new weight, and that's fine if it works for you. It doesn't work for me. There's always a voice in my head nagging me and reminding me that I've strayed from my path.

I don't want to only accept my body. I want to enjoy my body. 🧘‍♀️

I embarked on a fresh weight loss journey recently. It was time to review:

what had worked for me the first time

what approaches to dieting had failed

and what worked but cannot be repeated now as my personal circumstances have changed.

In the past, what really boosted my weight loss efforts was water fasting for 24 hours or more. My longest fast was 72 hours. I fasted quite frequently over 6 months, as well as after reaching my goal weight for maintenance.

Unfortunately, I found that fasting, though effective, is unsustainable for me in the long run. It often led to eating more the next day. I ended up sabotaging my efforts. You can call it a "cheat day" but it's still counterproductive.

As for personal circumstances that have changed, I now take medication that needs to be taken with food, so fasting longer than 24 hours is out of question anyway.

I've briefly considered intermittent fasting. The problem is that I attend a lot of meetings and business events, which can be at any time of the day—in other words, there is no routine.

Food and drinks are always offered. I'm capable of not touching the food (germaphobia), but I might drink something that has calories, which would break the IF. I don't want this to be at the forefront of my mind when I'm closing business deals.

Another thing I remember is that in the 6 months I was losing weight the last time, walking was my only exercise. I only started working with a personal trainer after reaching my goal weight.

When I started exercising, I became hungrier. Dealing with that hunger was harder than when I was eating much less but not exercising. People often report they've actually gained weight after starting at the gym - this is why.

I took into account my previous experience with weight loss when I kickstarted my weight loss journey this month.

For now, I decided to simply reduce the amount of food. No fasting, no additional exercise, and especially no strenuous exercise. Also, no overthinking about calories, including not counting calories. I need this mental space to focus on other matters.

Extremely important: no cheat days.

This approach has been going well. I've dropped some weight and I look better.

More importantly, I realized that I had simply become used to a lot of food, and I don't actually need that much.

This weight loss journey has been easy to maintain, and might be viable in the long run.

Most of all, I'm learning to accept that to reach and maintain my goal weight, I literally can't have my cake and eat it too.

I feel that this is the crux of the inability to lose weight in most people. We're wired to look for the easy way out, workarounds, shortcuts, and cheat codes.

For most people, it was easier to maintain weight when we were younger, and when that ability vanishes, we dislike to acknowledge that the situation has changed. That we're different now. But those times are gone, and I need to do what works today, even if it takes a lot more effort.

A Month of Growth: Embracing My Progress and Finding Strength in the Journey

It's been a month since I asked myself why I believe that I can't.

One month later, I find myself in a different space, both mentally and emotionally. The doubts that once clouded my mind still visit occasionally, but they no longer dominate my thoughts.

🌱✨ I've learned that progress isn’t linear, and it’s okay to stumble as long as I keep moving forward.

Over the past few weeks, I've focused on building better habits, ones that nurture my well-being rather than sabotage it. 💪🏽🌟

There were many days when the old, unhealthy patterns seemed so tempting, like a comforting embrace in the midst of uncertainty.

But I started recognizing those moments for what they were: temporary urges that didn’t have to define my actions.

🧠💖 I'm beginning to see that self-discipline isn't about being perfect or never slipping up. It's about showing up for myself consistently, even when I don't feel like it.

I've started small, setting achievable goals each day, and gradually, those small steps have led to bigger changes.

🌅💫 One of the most significant shifts has been in how I talk to myself.

I've stopped berating myself for not being where I want to be yet and instead started celebrating the fact that I'm on the journey.

I've realized that kindness towards myself isn't a reward for reaching some distant goal. It's a necessity for making the journey sustainable.

There’s a newfound sense of peace in knowing that I’m not racing against anyone, not even against time. I'm exactly where I need to be, learning exactly what I need to learn.

The fears and insecurities that used to paralyze me now serve as reminders of my growth. Every time I choose to act in spite of them, I’m proving to myself that I’m capable.

Looking back, I see how much I've evolved in just one month. 🌿🛤️

It wasn’t about a dramatic transformation but rather about the accumulation of small, consistent choices. I’m learning to trust myself, to believe that I can, and that belief is becoming stronger each day.

I know the journey is far from over, but I’m more equipped now than ever before. I believe in my ability to navigate whatever comes next, knowing that I have the tools to keep moving forward.

And in that belief, I find strength and hope for what lies ahead. 🙏🕊️

Mute distractions and concentrate.

Identify your goals.

Prioritize by urgency and complexity.

Work on these goals regardless of how you are feeling in the moment. Emotions are fleeting.

YOU ONLY FAIL IF YOU STOP WRITING - RAY BRADBURY

me physically restraining myself from reblogging shit until i finally finish AT LEAST one of my drafted wips

Heyy!

I'm using corona as a bit if an excuse for me to be lazy (I'm 16 and trying to physically and mentally level up), would you please give me some tough love? You are one of my favorite accounts, thanks for helping us out✌💖

Hi babe! So as far as “tough love” your best bet is typically with @2pretty - she has the best posts in that area. I’ll still give it a shot though....

You’re 16. You are right on the cusp of young adult hood. Your brain is untapped potential. Your body is ready for challenges with little to no natural age-based hindrances. You are at the doorway to a powerful life. 

and what are you doing? Nothing!!!

That’s so wasteful! How can you complain that you're too lazy to do anything? You’ve never DONE anything yet! You have no excuse to be lazy!!!

I’m not saying you need to conquer the world, but dang!!!! Everything in your life will only get more difficult from here!!! You’re “too tired” now to physically or mentally try? You’re going to be an absolute waste of potential.

Sure, you hear stories of people getting in shape for the first time in their life at 40, but they all REGRET NOT DOING IT EARLIER!!!! You’re 16! Beginning a workout routine and healthy diet is BOTH the easiest it will ever be AND the most effective it will ever be!!!! You are a few ran miles and salad lunches away from abs!! Even by the time you’re 20, the same progress you could make in a week now will take you at least a month - and it only gets SLOWER REWARDING as you get older!!! You need to do more!!!!

Your brain is at a key growth and development stage!!!! Yes, you’re not as easily learnable of languages as you were when you were 5, BUT you still have all those new brain synopsis developing and just BEGGING to be used! What happens if you don’t engage them now? 

“Between 12 and 25, the brain changes its structure in a few important ways. Like an overeager forest, neurons in the early adolescent brain become bushier, growing more and more overlapping branches whose twigs reach toward one another, nearly touching except for tiny gaps known as synapses. When an electrical impulse—or action potential—reaches a twig, the neuron flings spurts of chemical messages across the synapse. Over time, depending on how teens busy their minds, twigs around the least used synapses wither, while twigs flanking the most trafficked synapses grow thicker, strengthening those connections.” - source

You really want to just chill out and never push yourself to learn anything? Welp. You’re just hurting yourself FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I’m sure there’s cutesy little stories about someone doing something genius later in life... but biology doesn’t life. You’re not going to be brilliant in your 30s, 40s, 50+ if you’re not cultivating your brain now. End of story. 

You don’t need to be running marathons or studying astrophysics at a PhD level... but you need to be at least doing something!!!

So stop being lazy and DO something!!!

Heyy!

I'm using corona as a bit if an excuse for me to be lazy (I'm 16 and trying to physically and mentally level up), would you please give me some tough love? You are one of my favorite accounts, thanks for helping us out✌💖

Hi babe! So as far as “tough love” your best bet is typically with @2pretty - she has the best posts in that area. I’ll still give it a shot though....

You’re 16. You are right on the cusp of young adult hood. Your brain is untapped potential. Your body is ready for challenges with little to no natural age-based hindrances. You are at the doorway to a powerful life. 

and what are you doing? Nothing!!!

That’s so wasteful! How can you complain that you're too lazy to do anything? You’ve never DONE anything yet! You have no excuse to be lazy!!!

I’m not saying you need to conquer the world, but dang!!!! Everything in your life will only get more difficult from here!!! You’re “too tired” now to physically or mentally try? You’re going to be an absolute waste of potential.

Sure, you hear stories of people getting in shape for the first time in their life at 40, but they all REGRET NOT DOING IT EARLIER!!!! You’re 16! Beginning a workout routine and healthy diet is BOTH the easiest it will ever be AND the most effective it will ever be!!!! You are a few ran miles and salad lunches away from abs!! Even by the time you’re 20, the same progress you could make in a week now will take you at least a month - and it only gets SLOWER REWARDING as you get older!!! You need to do more!!!!

Your brain is at a key growth and development stage!!!! Yes, you’re not as easily learnable of languages as you were when you were 5, BUT you still have all those new brain synopsis developing and just BEGGING to be used! What happens if you don’t engage them now? 

“Between 12 and 25, the brain changes its structure in a few important ways. Like an overeager forest, neurons in the early adolescent brain become bushier, growing more and more overlapping branches whose twigs reach toward one another, nearly touching except for tiny gaps known as synapses. When an electrical impulse—or action potential—reaches a twig, the neuron flings spurts of chemical messages across the synapse. Over time, depending on how teens busy their minds, twigs around the least used synapses wither, while twigs flanking the most trafficked synapses grow thicker, strengthening those connections.” - source

You really want to just chill out and never push yourself to learn anything? Welp. You’re just hurting yourself FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I’m sure there’s cutesy little stories about someone doing something genius later in life... but biology doesn’t life. You’re not going to be brilliant in your 30s, 40s, 50+ if you’re not cultivating your brain now. End of story. 

You don’t need to be running marathons or studying astrophysics at a PhD level... but you need to be at least doing something!!!

So stop being lazy and DO something!!!

Hey babe! I love your motivational post. Lately I have been missing deadlines and not finishing task. How do you get your self back on track when you fall off ?

Start by taking an audit of your day. What exactly have you been spending your time doing that is getting in the way of you completing the things that are actually important?

Do you write out your daily tasks and keep them somewhere visible or do you just store it in your head and hope to remember it all? You’re more likely to Get Things Done when every time you look at your desk there’s a reminder that you need to fold the laundry.

Re-organize your schedule as often as needed. Maybe when you’re super busy this week, it’s in your best interest to work out first thing in the morning, shower straight after, and save most chores to be completed the upcoming weekend so you can study all day. Maybe next week, it’s in your best interest to study first thing in the morning, do chores in the afternoon, and work out in the evening. Make your weekly schedule a Rubik’s cube and keep switching it around until it fits properly for the right time.

You genuinely have to prioritize getting the important stuff done over everything else. Social media and Netflix should not take up a bulk portion of your day. You will have to get real with yourself and turn off distractions and just do the work. Your brain will keep nudging you to stop being productive and go do something else but you are the one in control here. Fight the twitch.

Work in pomodoro sessions. Be productive for 50 minutes and take a 10 minute break, or whatever time division works best for you. Work 25 rest 5. Work 45 rest 15. Work 2 hours rest 30 minutes. Who cares. As long as you aren’t working 0 and resting 24, that’s a win.

Hey babe! I love your motivational post. Lately I have been missing deadlines and not finishing task. How do you get your self back on track when you fall off ?

Start by taking an audit of your day. What exactly have you been spending your time doing that is getting in the way of you completing the things that are actually important?

Do you write out your daily tasks and keep them somewhere visible or do you just store it in your head and hope to remember it all? You’re more likely to Get Things Done when every time you look at your desk there’s a reminder that you need to fold the laundry.

Re-organize your schedule as often as needed. Maybe when you’re super busy this week, it’s in your best interest to work out first thing in the morning, shower straight after, and save most chores to be completed the upcoming weekend so you can study all day. Maybe next week, it’s in your best interest to study first thing in the morning, do chores in the afternoon, and work out in the evening. Make your weekly schedule a Rubik’s cube and keep switching it around until it fits properly for the right time.

You genuinely have to prioritize getting the important stuff done over everything else. Social media and Netflix should not take up a bulk portion of your day. You will have to get real with yourself and turn off distractions and just do the work. Your brain will keep nudging you to stop being productive and go do something else but you are the one in control here. Fight the twitch.

Work in pomodoro sessions. Be productive for 50 minutes and take a 10 minute break, or whatever time division works best for you. Work 25 rest 5. Work 45 rest 15. Work 2 hours rest 30 minutes. Who cares. As long as you aren’t working 0 and resting 24, that’s a win.