Growth Mindset - Tumblr Posts

Putting Myself FIRST

Before My Spiritual Awakening, I was just living like everyone else, I suppose, I like to joke around NOW, and refer to THAT way of living as “living on autopilot”. My mind was always full of self doubt, worry, fear of the unknown, unsure of who I was or why I was even here, even though I felt like I was missing something, but could never quite place my finger on it. I put up with a lot of people’s bad behavior, I allowed disrespect and simply put, I let everyone walk all over me, doing my absolute best to avoid conflict and would keep the peace at ANY cost, until I realized the cost was actually MY peace.

Oh, the lengths, we as empaths, will go to make sure everyone ELSE is happy and everyone else’s needs are met, thinking we’re actually one step ahead and at peace, not even realizing the resentment building deep inside our soul from not receiving to the same in return from the ones we try so hard to put before our own needs and wants. Over giving, taking on more responsibility than I could handle, and accepting behavior that I would NEVER again in my life imagine of allowing left me in a constant state of feelings defeated, not feeling good enough, unappreciated, taken advantage of, depressed, full of anxiety always worrying about failing or falling short..just plain, flat out unhappy and lacking what I know cherish most, my peace. Living that way my whole adult life eventually caught up with, as it ultimately will with everyone, and I suffered a huge emotional breakdown my last day at work back, which is also the day I quit. The workplace I was employed at affected me so greatly, and even after being advised from family, friends and even former co-workers to just leave, I stayed. I stayed because I felt comfortable, I knew what to expect every single day, including the disrespectful and sny remarks from co workers. I stayed because it fit my schedule as a single mother, having certain times I could work and in the field I was in at the time, the hours I HAD were unheard of and not many people were lucky Enough to receive such a flexible work schedule. So I traded my dignity, worth and emotional/mental health and overall well being for those hours, looking back.

Work wasn’t my only dilemma, of course. I had also personal problems, dealing with a very unhappy family (not my own children): Siblings and as great as my parents have been and ARE, them as well. My parents unintentionally treated me that way of course. I had also recently left a very abusive relationship where I dealt with not only physical abuse, but also verbal, emotional, financial and spiritual abuse and Was trying my best to move on as quickly as possible. Dealing with drinking, trying to numb out some of the pain, I was dealing with just a massive amount responsibility as a single mom taking care of her kids, living in fear of my life bc of my ex, taking on the emotional responsibility of my mother and sister, etc. On top of dealing with my own health issues and mental health. Depression , Anxiety, OCD to name a few. It wasn’t until one day (Yes, one VERY random day) I said : Enough is enough. It hasn’t occured to me, as silly as it sounds, until then, my mid 30’s, that you know what? THIS is not any way for anyone to live. I was like, “What about ME?” I MATTER too! I need love and support TOO! I need a break TOO! I need someone to listen to me as I cry TOO! I deserve to have my needs and wants met TOO! I deserve respect TOO! I deserve to be put first TOO! I remember the day and it was like a tsunami of emotions flooding the gate, it was overwhelming and all consuming. I remember, as well, having random flashbacks from my very blurry childhood that I didn’t realize at the time, were so far suppressed within me. I was angry. Appalled. I was FURIOUS and I felt like my life was a lie. And how could I have not even known? That’s crazy right? No. I know now that it was my body’s way of protecting myself. I had a lot of unresolved issues that NEEDED to be brought to light. Easy right? No. I had no idea I’d spend the next yr or so In isolation, due partly to depression, but also due to my anger and resentment I had developed after all the years towards very special people in my life.

THIS IS WHERE things got even more chaotic. This is where my whole entire way of thinking and view in life changed. I knew LIFE had to be more…

I love this quote 💜❤️💜❤️

What advice would you give to someone struggling to find their path in their 30s?

Off the top of my head ...

Make a realistic assessment of yourself.

Your personal pros and cons. You need to center what you're good at, but you also need to pursue difficult goals and projects that you are not yet good at. Otherwise you'll never improve or learn anything new.

Let your childhood dreams guide you.

I wanted to be a writer as a little girl. Writing is now a big part of my job, but child me had creative writing in mind, so I now pursue this too in my spare time and I feel fulfilled.

Be decisive and move fast.

Timing is everything. When you make a decision, you need to execute as soon as possible, preferably immediately. If you don't, in a few weeks or months you'll cool down on the idea. Your circumstances will have changed, potential collaborators will get swept up in other stuff, etc. You'll give up and never do it. So just do it asap.

Always trying to grow. Thank you Vygotsky fir your framework of constructivist learning theory and the ZPD.. the wheelhouse of growth

Great things never came from comfort zones.

needs to do this for 2024 <333

Cultivating a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that one's skills, qualities, and abilities can be nurtured and enhanced through hard work and learning. Adopting this mindset makes you more open to challenges, embracing the unfamiliar or uncomfortable and willing to experience failure.

However, adopting this growth mindset means we must challenge our limiting self-beliefs that reinforce our fixed mindset. Limiting beliefs is the negative thoughts that hold us back, hindering our journey of self-improvement. 

RECOGNISE YOUR FIXED MINDSET. Start to be aware of how your fixed mindset, became your everyday internal dialogue. Fear of failure, procrastination, always being in your comfort zone or being a constant quitter could be why this mindset has been reinforced in your mind.

That being said, you need to start being conscious of what you’re saying to yourself daily. If you struggle with that, try speaking to yourself out loud, as it helps to be more aware of what you’re saying. 

REMOVE ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T ALIGN, i’m specifally talking about social media. There are so many self degarding or depreciating content(which are always disgusied as a ‘joke’) and the more you consume it, the more you believe it. 

However this can apply to your physical environment as well, such as people, sentimental objects or your actual space. 

START TO REDEFINE FAILURE. There are so many ways you can define failure, but my favourite has to be failure is the sacrifice for success. Of course, you can research other ways to redefine it that resonates with you.

However, allow yourself to grieve failures, especially if they had a huge impact on your life. The only way you can apply the lessons from failure in life is to process them. 

DO SOMETHING CHALLENGING EACH DAY. Whether it is giving yourself an extra 20 minutes at the gym, or trying to advance yourself in your studies, just do something that pushes you and hopefully, makes you struggle. 

Once we allow ourselves to struggle and be challenged, we start to develop the belief that being challenged is okay, not doing it perfect on the first try  is okay we can still do tasks without them being perfect + you’re also embracing failure. 

APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT. Something is always better than nothing, not everything that we do has to be perfect to consider ourselves accomplished. Once we acknowledge the value of hard work and see how it impacts our day-to-day life, it enforces the belief that we can expand our skills even just by a little.

The perfect way to appreciate your effort is by celebrating or rewarding yourself. Allow yourself extra screen time, to sleep in, or do any of your favourite ‘unproductive’ activities. 

SEEK OUT NEW KNOWLEDGE. Not just reading an article and calling it a day, but actively researching something memorable. This doesn’t have to be a scholarly topic, it could be anything. When we start to desire to learn, which is practically the main thing about a growth mindset, it enforces those beliefs. 

BUILD RESILENCE. You’re going to fail, struggle, lose and maybe suffer. While it is important to grieve what happens, you should be able to bounce back after some time. Building this skill is so important in the growth mindset, as it helps you to take control of your emotions and not the other way around. 

This applies to constructive criticism as well. People will not always give you praise, but that doesn’t matter, what matters is your ability to act on that criticism. An outside perspective always helps to improve yourself and your abilities. 

🎀The Dream Girl Sorority🎀

Being on a femininity/ level up/ hypergamy journey can get lonely. Most of the time, we don't start out with like-minded friends.

A few of us got inspired by 2pretty/ Kelsey and her old dreamgirl sorority to make our own server (as that one is no longer active).

The server is full of amazing women, helpful advice and stories of all the ups and down that accompany us on this journey.

If you'd like to join, here's the link!

🎀Stay safe🎀

The results of investing in your Feminine Energy ❀

GROWTH MINDSET VS FIXED MINDSET

The Growth Mindset term was coined by American psychologist Carol Dweck . It is the belief that talent, intelligence and abilities can be cultivated through efforts whereas the Fixed mindset is the total opposite of Growth Mindset. Fixed Mindset is the belief that talent, intelligence and abilities are Fixed and cannot be changed.

A person with Growth Mindset sees efforts as a good thing and an opportunity to improve themselves whereas a person with a Fixed mindset will see hardwork as a bad thing . For example: Let's say Aria is bad at maths , she feels that math isn't her forte so she doesn't even try. She feels that she isn't intelligent enough. She believes that intelligence and math skills are Fixed. Aria has a Fixed mindset. Her mindset limits her. She will never improve or get good grades in maths with that mindset. Now let's say there is another girl Ariel , she believes that she can improve her maths by practice. She believes that if she needs to put effort to improve her math skills , it's not a bad thing and it doesn't mean that she is " dumb " . Ariel has a growth mindset. Growth Mindset is essential for success in any kind of field.

A person with Growth Mindset solve problems & persist despite obstacles. Neuroscientists believe Growth Mindset. They confirm that the brain grows like any other muscle in the body with training . A person with Growth Mindset believes we are in control of our abilities whereas a person with fixed Mindset believes that we aren't in control of our abilities. A person with Growth Mindset are focused on the process of getting better . They appreciate feedback and constructive criticism and use it to improve themselves whereas a person with fixed Mindset don't appreciate constructive criticism , they get defensive and take it personally.

Fixed mindset Growth Mindset

I'm not good at this ➔ I can get good at this with effort and practice.

I am not talented enough ➔I can improve with effort with practice .

I don't know how ➔ I can learn !

I don't like challenges ➔ Overcoming challenges helps me to grow !

I give up ➔ I can't succeed if I don't try / I will use a different strategy !

It's too hard➔ With more practice, it will get easier.

I can't do this ➔ I can do anything I put my mind to !

Plan A didn't work ➔ There is always Plan B

I failed and I embarrassed myself ➔I'm proud that I tried and I will try again !

Everyone is better at it than me ➔ I can learn from them !

Questions a person ask with Growth Mindset What can I learn from this ?

what support can I reach out to ?

How will I prepare myself to learn today ?

What will I do to challenge myself today ?

How do I learn ?

🤍Affirmations for growth mindset 🤍

- I can do anything I put my mind into !

- I focus on progress !

- I can get through anything !

- I am ready to ask for help !

- I am problem solver !

- I strive to do my best .

- I am not afraid of challenges.

Be Comfortable With Being the Villain

In my country we have a saying: "I am not a golden coin to be liked by everyone". It doesn't matter how "nice", correct, and appeasing we may behave with others, there will always be those who will dislike us for no apparent reason. Learning to not only be ok with them disliking you, but going as far as to embracing it can propel you forward.

Many people will dislike you because you trigger something in them that makes them feel threatened, less-than, or jealous. That is a them problem. If those same people proceed to lie about you and attack you to try to take you down, you need to be prepared to be ok with being perceived in a negative light by them and the people who choose to believe them. At the end of the day their talking is just that, and it cannot affect you if you choose to rise above it.

Learning to embrace being hated means that you can stop trying to seem agreeable and nice to everyone and instead pursue respect. Someone doesn't have to like you to still respect you. Respect and status will allow you to rub shoulders with people who can improve your life in meaningful ways, and place you in spaces where you can flourish.

Being liked is overrated and at times useless. Instead, be a woman of influence, power, and good character. When your brand speaks for yourself, the naysayers become powerless and desperate, and others will be able to see right through their lies.

12 lessons women learn late in life

• Self-acceptance: Understanding and embracing oneself, including imperfections and past mistakes, leads to greater self-acceptance and self-love.

• Setting boundaries: Realizing the importance of setting healthy boundaries in personal and professional relationships, and learning to say "no" without feeling guilty.

• Prioritizing their needs: Recognizing the significance of self-care and prioritizing their physical and emotional well-being.

• Embracing aging: Accepting the natural process of aging and finding beauty and wisdom in each stage of life.

• Letting go of perfection: Understanding that perfection is unattainable and that it's okay to make mistakes and learn from them.

• Emotional intelligence: Developing better emotional intelligence and learning how to navigate and express emotions effectively.

• Value of female friendships: Appreciating the unique bonds and support that can be found in female friendships.

• Financial independence: Recognizing the importance of financial knowledge and independence, regardless of relationship status.

• Life is not a race: Understanding that life's journey is unique to each individual, and it's okay to take different paths and timelines.

• Resilience: Learning from past challenges and developing resilience to bounce back from setbacks.

• Reevaluating priorities: Reflecting on what truly matters in life and refocusing energy and time on what brings fulfillment and happiness.

• Living in the present: Letting go of regrets about the past and worries about the future, and embracing the present moment.

Small ways to activate your "happiness" chemicals

DOPAMINE: the reward chemical

• Complete a task

• Doing self care activites

• Eating some food

• Celebrating your little wins.

OXYTOCIN: the love hormones

• Playing with a dog

• Playing with a baby

• Holding hands

• Hugging someone

• Giving someone else a compliment

SEROTONIN: the mood stabiliser

• Meditating

• Running

• Be in the sun

• Walk in nature

• Swimming

ENDORPHIN: the pain relief

• Laughing exercises

• Essential oils

• Eating dark chocolate

• Running

"Turn obstacles into opportunities, and you'll thrive." 🌟 Let challenges become your stepping stones to success. #OpportunityInAdversity #Thrive #OvercomeChallenges #SuccessMindset Like, Share, Follow, and check back daily for our quotes. Be sure to explore our website for all our resources! LINK IN BIO.

Small ways to activate your "happiness" chemicals

DOPAMINE: the reward chemical

• Complete a task

• Doing self care activites

• Eating some food

• Celebrating your little wins.

OXYTOCIN: the love hormones

• Playing with a dog

• Playing with a baby

• Holding hands

• Hugging someone

• Giving someone else a compliment

SEROTONIN: the mood stabiliser

• Meditating

• Running

• Be in the sun

• Walk in nature

• Swimming

ENDORPHIN: the pain relief

• Laughing exercises

• Essential oils

• Eating dark chocolate

• Running

Abilities that will forever benefit you

The ability to walk away

The ability to manage your time

The ability to remain consistent

The ability to self analyze

The ability to learn how to learn

The ability to understand others

The ability to listen

The ability to express your thoughts and feelings

The ability to break down tasks

The ability to adapt

The ability to control your mind

The ability to ask for help

The ability to act upon facts not feelings

robot friend does not agree. 'failure' is inability to fulfill directive. human has no programmed directive. human evolutionary directive is to live. you are alive. everything else is bonus.

I’ve been saving this message in my inbox for a long time because it always makes me feel better. I needed it today. Thank you

We become what we think about…

We keep saying tomorrow will be better but what if there's no tomorrow or you don't wake up tomorrow, what then..

Embracing the Path of Healing: Moving On from Pain

Shaina Tranquilino

September 26, 2023

Life is an amalgamation of happiness and pain, joy and heartache. While some experiences bring us immense pleasure and fulfillment, others leave us broken, struggling to find solace amidst the fragments of our shattered hopes. However, it is essential to remember that pain does not define us; rather, it serves as a catalyst for growth and resilience. In this blog post, we will explore the transformative journey of moving on from pain and emerging stronger than ever.

1. Acknowledge the Pain:

The first step towards healing is acknowledging the pain you are going through. Denying or burying your emotions will only prolong the healing process. Acceptance allows you to confront your feelings head-on, enabling psychological and emotional growth.

2. Allow Yourself to Grieve:

Grieving is a natural response to loss or emotional distress. Give yourself permission to mourn over what was lost - be it a relationship, dream, or any other significant aspect of your life. Cry if you need to; let your emotions flow freely without judgment.

3. Seek Support:

Remember that you don't have to face your pain alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or even professional counselors who can provide guidance and lend a listening ear during vulnerable moments. Surround yourself with positive influences who uplift and empower you throughout your healing journey.

4. Practice Self-Compassion:

Often, we harshly judge ourselves during tough times, adding unnecessary burdens to our already heavy hearts. Be kind and gentle with yourself by practicing self-compassion. Treat yourself with love, understanding that everyone stumbles along their path at some point in life.

5. Rediscover Your Identity:

Pain has an uncanny ability to overshadow our true selves. Use this opportunity for introspection and rediscovery; reconnect with activities or hobbies that bring joy into your life. Focus on personal growth and self-care, nurturing both your physical and emotional well-being.

6. Embrace Forgiveness:

Forgiveness is a powerful healing tool that frees us from the shackles of pain. Forgive those who have caused you harm, but most importantly, learn to forgive yourself. Understand that mistakes are part of being human and allow room for personal growth without carrying the weight of regret.

7. Set New Goals:

Moving on involves envisioning a new future filled with hope and purpose. Set meaningful goals that align with your values and aspirations. These objectives will not only motivate you but also serve as beacons of light guiding you towards a brighter tomorrow.

8. Cultivate Gratitude:

In moments of despair, it can be challenging to find gratitude amidst the chaos. However, consciously practicing gratitude can shift your perspective and empower you to see beauty in the simplest moments of life. Count your blessings daily, focusing on what brings happiness into your world.

Though moving on from pain may seem like an uphill battle, remember that healing is not linear. It requires patience, resilience, and self-compassion. By acknowledging your pain, seeking support, practicing self-care, rediscovering yourself, embracing forgiveness, setting new goals, and cultivating gratitude - you will emerge stronger than ever before. In time, wounds heal, hearts mend, and the scars we carry become beautiful reminders of our ability to persevere through adversity.

Being Open to Change: Embracing Growth and Transformation

Shaina Tranquilino

September 29, 2023

Change is an inevitable part of life. From the moment we are born, our lives constantly evolve and transform. Yet, many of us find it difficult to embrace change. We tend to cling onto familiarity and resist stepping out of our comfort zones. However, being open to change can lead to personal growth, new opportunities, and a more fulfilling life.

One of the main reasons why people resist change is fear. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, making us hesitant to take risks or try something different. But what if we reframed our perspective on change? Instead of viewing it as something terrifying, we can see it as an opportunity for growth and learning.

Change often brings about new experiences and challenges that force us to adapt and develop new skills. By embracing change, we open ourselves up to expanding our knowledge base and enhancing our capabilities. We become more resilient and adaptable in the face of uncertainty.

Moreover, being open to change allows us to break free from stagnant routines and explore uncharted territories. It opens doors to new possibilities that would have otherwise remained closed. When we let go of the familiar, we create space for innovation, creativity, and self-discovery.

In today's fast-paced world, where technology advances at an unprecedented rate, being open to change is essential for survival. Industries are constantly evolving, job roles are changing rapidly, and staying relevant requires continuous adaptation. Those who refuse to embrace change risk becoming obsolete.

However, being open to change doesn't mean blindly accepting anything that comes our way. It means approaching new situations with curiosity and a willingness to learn. It involves critically evaluating whether a particular change aligns with our values and goals before deciding if it's right for us.

To cultivate openness towards change in your life:

1. Embrace discomfort: Recognize that growth often happens outside your comfort zone. Challenge yourself regularly and be open to trying new things, even if they initially make you feel uncomfortable.

2. Adopt a growth mindset: Believe in your ability to learn and adapt. View failures as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks. Embrace a mindset that sees challenges as stepping stones towards success.

3. Seek different perspectives: Engage with people who have diverse backgrounds and opinions. Surround yourself with individuals who challenge your thinking and expose you to new ideas.

4. Practice mindfulness: Being present allows us to observe our thoughts and emotions without judgment. Mindfulness helps us become aware of any resistance or fear we may have towards change and enables us to approach it more objectively.

5. Set goals: Define what you want to achieve in life and set clear, actionable goals. Being open to change means being proactive about creating the life you desire while remaining flexible enough to adapt when necessary.

Ultimately, being open to change is not just about embracing external circumstances; it's about embracing personal transformation from within. It's about continuously evolving, shedding old patterns, and growing into the best version of ourselves.

So, let go of the fear holding you back, embrace change wholeheartedly, and watch as your life unfolds in ways you could never have imagined. Remember, only through change can we truly grow and experience everything that life has to offer.