Tobey!spiderman - Tumblr Posts
Ok,so I just had a fucking thought of a hc where Otto and his boyfriend Norman; teaches Tobey!Peter children how to create weapons and other technological stuff, which culminate in MJ and Peter looking amazed to their children while they look more interested in the Green Goblin's glider (which Norman is very interested in explain everything he could to the little ones and answer their questions) and Octavius who is holding what they just finished creating in hands, with a tired look of having take care of four crazy kids for a evening (Norman included ™️) just go like: "Yep; they're a little bit fascinated by all what science can do, but they just thought it would be so cool to create this tool to help you fight against crime".
Ok, but Tobey's Peter is a dog person, Andrew's Peter is a cat person and Tom's Peter is that one kid who has the most random animal as pet and no one understand how
The only thing I'm mad about Spiderman no way home is the fact that there wasn't even ONE(1) scene where one of them goes like " wait you're the actor from *insert random movie*. I loved it".
It would have been funny to just see them so utterly confused
Peter 3: wha- you thought I looked like Justin Timberlake? Dude, that man is bullshit. Once he interviewed me while I was spiderman and he made me so uncomfortable
Peter 2: He what? Why would an actor interview you?
Peter 3: actor? No, he's a reporter
Peter 1: *furiously searching on Google* oh, for the love of god. THIS ONE. NOT TIMBERLAKE. GARFIELD.
Peter 2: The cat?!
The only thing I'm mad about Spiderman no way home is the fact that there wasn't even ONE(1) scene where one of them goes like " wait you're the actor from *insert random movie*. I loved it".
It would have been funny to just see them so utterly confused
Spidey bros au
Peter: do you think the ninja turtles are real, Tobey?
Tobey: no buddy-
Peter: *walks away sad*
Andrew:
Andrew: hey didn’t you work with them though?
Tobey: He ate my licorice. I’m taking away his happiness.
*Andrew coming back from uni*
Tobey, hitting the ceiling with a broom: Sorry I left the window open and this fucker got in.
Andrew: Oh a bird flew in?
Tobey: Massive red one yea
Andrew:
Tobey:
Wade, holding onto the ceiling fan: sugar tits h e l p m e !!
Andrew:
Andrew, grabbing a mop:
Wade: :O
Spider bros au
[at the zoo]
Andrew: you can’t fly lol
Penguin: you can’t get someone to mate with you for life lmao
Peter:
Penguin: dude don- don’t cry ohmyfucking-
[Tobey watching Andrew talk to a penguin and burst into tears]
Tobey: I think that’s enough zoo today.
Peter:
Tobey: put the monkey back.
Peter: His name is Murder mc Steve
Murder mc Steve: :3
Spider bros au
Peter: Andrew, did you eat my gummy worms
Andrew: and your gay bacon yea
Peter, cocking a gun: so you have chosen death.
Tobey: How did you get a gun??? I will just buy you more gay bacon Ohmyfucking-
[Spider-man meeting Deadpool for first time]
Peter: mr wade sir, why do you wear a red suit?
Wade, delighted: So bad guys don’t see me bleed!!!
Peter, vibrating with excitement: omg are you on your p e r i o d ?
Tobey: I can’t believe Mr. Harrington gave you a D on that last test. You’re a top student, how do you get a D?
Andrew: he answered half the questions, told Mr. Harrington the test was stupid, burped, then left.
Tobey:
Peter: and that’s not worth a D+? ,,,,I smell t r a n s p h o b i a,,,,,
Spidey bros au
LGBT+ Headcanonsssssss
(Trying something new so these are head canons in an au I made up so if you don't agree/have a better idea just make your own. thank you!)
-
Andrew was the first to come out (bisexual cis). Technically, Tobey was the first person he told because he mentioned finding other boys attractive when they were a lot younger (both thought nothing of it).
When he had the label for it he poked around at Uncle Ben and aunt may, casually bringing LGBT things up in conversation.
“How’s your coffee, Uncle Ben?”
“It’s nic-”
“You know gay people really like it iced, that’s weird right?” :/
“...”
-
Uncle Ben and Aunt May were incredibly accepting of course, and did their best to keep teachers in line if bullying occurred.
It occurred.
Tobey stepped up as his big brother and main protector.
Glasses were broken.
Hair was pulled.
Uncle Ben tried not to be too upset at finding them in the principal's office. Bruised cheeks, broken skateboard and cracked glasses (Glasses are expensive).
The teachers would tell him to discipline them and he would take them out for ice cream every damn time.
-
Cue Peter coming out as a trans boy at 12 years old. About to go into middle school in less than a month.Middle school is hard enough without being attracted to the same sex, now Andrews darling youngest sibling has come out as the opposite sex.
Peter had already chosen his name, having talked to his friend Ned about everything before he came to Andrew and Tobey.
And yeah, he was a bit jealous of Peter going to his school friends before his older brothers, but such was life.
May and Ben obviously took Peter to change his legal name and get him a haircut.
Tobey upped the roughness with his little brother.
Peter began wearing a helmet because of how many noogies and wet willies he’d receive. Don't even get him started on the time he got clotheslined on his 14th birthday,
Deadpool: short people are always so angry. i think its cause they're always hot- y'know always being the closest to hell? must suck.
Peter: you just lost your knee cap privileges giraffe face.
-
Tobey: I hate you!
Andrew: i hate me more!!!
Tobey: ...
Tobey: come on, Dude, we've talked about this...
-
Michelle (abt gender): maybe I just want people to look at me and be confused
Ned: a big hat
Peter: enter every room screaming "C O R N"
-
May: why are there tiny hand prints on the ceiling?
Tobey, whispering: Pete, why are there tiny hand prints on the ceiling?
Peter, hiding his hands: h o n es t l y f u c k y o u g uy s
What if Peter told Tobey and Andrew about him joining the Avengers and they just,,,,,didn’t believe him,,?????
Tobey, watching the news: Hey, is Peter teaming up with Iron man?
Andrew: Last I checked, Iron man’s in Germany, tearing up an airport, so I really doubt it.
Tobey, dragging Andrew: No! No, that looks just like him! See!!
Andrew:
Andrew: I’m gonna kill him.
Tobey, already gearing up: Iron man or Petey?
Andrew: Captain america for dropping a f u c k i n g boarding bridge on Peter
Tobey: You ever wanna talk about your feelings, Andrew?
Andrew: no
Peter: I do !!
Tobey: I know, Peter.
Peter: I f e e l s t a b b y
Tobey and Andrew: We know, Peter.
“Monogamy? In this economy???”
-Andrew Parker
-
Peter: bro, pick up your eboy, he’s curled up in my living room quivering, speaking in tongues, and surrounded by an impenetrable wall of writhing venom.
Deadpool: that’s not my eboy that’s my malewife !! they’re supposed to do that !!!
-
Interviewer: So spider-man are you and the…other spider men…brothers…or something ??
Tobey: No…these are my…clones.
Tobey, seeing Peter and Andrew off to the side pretending to make out with goblins mask and videoing it: ...They’re defective.
Dr. Strange: So your name is...?
Tobey: I'm Spider-man.
Dr. Strange: And you are...?
Andrew: Spider-man.
Dr. Strange, pointing at peter: ??
Peter: Spider-man.
Dr. strange: Oh don't tell me. He's Spider-man? Why would the three of you have the same name?? What kind of fool do you take me for??He's Spider-man, he's Spider-man, you're spider-man- Are there any other Spider-men I should know about???
Miles Morales, whispering: no one tell him about the multi-verse
Dr. Strange:
Dr. Strange: I'm outta here.
[peter coming home from highschool]
Peter: hey wha-
Aunt May: We need you to find your brother
Peter: wh-
Andrew: he went to spy on fisk and got found in the vents.
Peter: that’s sus.
Aunt May: Peter
Peter: wait how did they even find him ??
Andrew: he kept humming the spy theme song in the vents.
Spider bros Au
[on patrol]
Tobey, humming: Spider-man, Spider-man
Andrew, joining in: Does Whatever A Spider Can!
Tobey: Spins A Web! Any Size
Andrew: Catches Thieves!
Peter: eat’s those guys! Look out here comes the spooder-man
-
[on a date in the park]
Andrew: the stars are beautiful tonight
Deadpool: y-yeah! They are! *whispers* w h a t d o i s a y ???
Peter, in a tree above them: s a y y o u h a v e b e a u ti f u l e yes
Deadpool: he’s wearing a f u c k i n g m a s k
Peter: F i n e. y o u th ink of so m eth i ng.
Deadpool: you volunteered to be my wing man you little shit !!
Peter: d on ’t m a ke m e c o m e d ow n t h er e !!
Deadpool, standing up: Come down here? Buddy, I’ m c o m i n g u p.
Andrew: lovely stars. Truly.
Spidey bros au
Peter, high off anaesthesia: m y d i c k f e l l o f f :0
Tobey, fucking with him: The doctor needed it to save the president.
Peter: :O
Andrew: you're a hero, buddy !!
Peter, wiggling around in joy: y aaa aay y
May: *Videoing everything*
[Wade meeting Tobey]
Tobey: So. You’re the boyfriend then.
Deadpool, saluting: Yes, Sir !!
Tobey: Don’t call me “Sir”.
Deadpool, still saluting: Yes, Ma’am !!
[tobey patrolling with peter]
Tobey: that’s my boy !!
Peter: !!
Goblin: *Kidnaps peter*
Tobey: NO! My boY !!
Peter: b r o t h e r h el p !
Spidey bros au
[patrol gone wrong]
Andrew filming: Spidey, can you tell us why you’re caught in your own web. Follow up question: why is your webbing extra liquid-y ?
Tobey, mumbling: cause i didn’t-
Andre: A little louder for me, bud?
Tobey: CAUSE I DIDN’T CARRY THE TWO LIKE YOU SAID NOW GET ME OUT.
-
Peter: life is an ocean and I am but a smooth rock whomst has just arrived on a beach.
Andrew, already picking him up: Fuckin’ love skipping rocks.
Peter: wai- nO !!
Tobey, joining in: Skip, skip, skip, skip-
-
May: Where is Peter?
Andrew, hiding a bucket behind his back: Haven’t seen him.
Tobey, kicking a shovel underneath his bed: Think he said he was going out for the week…
May:
Peter, stuck inside the wall: