Tw Su1c1d3 - Tumblr Posts
i just touched one of the lowest points of my mood, i felt like i was going to d!e and wanted to jump out of the window.
i’m currently melting on the downside. i feel a presion on my chest (not a heart attack) and that my bed is starting to swallow me.
reblog this and put in the tags what comes up when you type “die”
Senior quote right there
“what’s your five year plan” bro i wake up every day confused by the fact that i’m even alive
Day vent, tw
So after I dragged myself out of bed, walked to my bus stop in the freezing cold, I could only withstand suffering for only 2 class periods. The day started out fine, I was fine then at the end of 2nd period it all just hit me all at once. I felt so sick I went to the nurse because I felt like I was going to throw up. I couldn't think straight. So I told the nurse I felt sick and left school. I was able to dismiss myself since my mom didn't answer my 3 phone calls.
I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go home because my mom would lecture me and know that I'm getting bad again. So I went to the library. And as I'm walking I hear the voice In the back of my head tell me that I'm so fucking stupid for leaving school like the failure I am. Then I realized why I had to leave. If I didn't leave I swear at that moment they were going to find my wrist slit in the girl bathroom. So I'm glad I left or I would have been dead by now or worse in the hospital for failing that as well. Not everyday is this bad but when It is I just don't have the strength to handle intrusive/suicidal thoughts.
TW:// suic*de, depression, sadness
If you are from my other blog you may not be unfamiliar with this kind of post especially for S & J
Whenever you see someone else’s journey end this way when you’ve felt that before, I think it hits you different. It hurts in a way you can’t fully explain. You see the hurt it spreads and the void it creates. But you also understand that pain(the best way each of us can understand another person) since you’ve been there.
These are the moments I also hope and plead for more. I beg there is something good to greet us on the other side. Something that takes them and comforts them to let them know they won’t suffer anymore, that they’ve done so well and they can rest now.
If it’s all just just darkness we won’t know the difference but honestly I can’t take solace in that. It doesn’t have to be “God” but they deserve more. WE deserve more. At the end of our journey, at the end of our suffering, we deserve unconditional peace and happiness expelling all our earthly sorrows.
Where he is now, he is resting. They all are.
Aroha, please don’t take this as “failure” or your fault
Moonbin has been so amazingly loved by us but (speaking from experience) you can’t make someone stay for you alone. Society collectively still has a long way to go with mental health. We seen many times an artist being vocal about it and even channeling into their art and still passing. People need more than kind words. Those are always needed but people need therapy and/or medication, less toxic work environments, etc etc.
I can be surrounded by love and still need to be admitted. I can hear a dozen positive things but the one negative will stick the longest. I can have tons of good things happen but one bad thing ruins my day. I need medication. I need therapy. I need a better environment. I NEED more than happy people.
WE need more than happy people.
Please please, right now just…
breathe
Talk to someone. Or be alone.
Laugh at something that makes you happy. Cry to sad music.
Write a random story. Write about your pain.
But please just don’t take this as a failure. We loved him as much as we could and we always will.
Remember him for everything he’s given us, not how he left us
⚠️ suicide mentione/talk
Not gonna lie.... that's so fucking true....
And really only few people realize that....
⚠️Tw suicide/selfharm mention/vent⚠️
I am thinking about suicide again
I wanna die because.....
Why I wanna die ?
Maybe just because....
Maybe because I am useless
Maybe because I am not worthy
Maybe because I am not enough
Because I am nothing
Because I don't deserve to live....
I don't deserve to be loved, to love, to exist....
I am nothing and no one ever would love someone like me so why live if anyways I end up dead...
Why live if anyways I be annoying, useless, not worthy, not enough....
No one cares if I am alive or dead ....
No one cares if my arms are covered in cuts and scars....
As long as I have good grades
As long as people see me as a kind, good and clever person ....
No one cares and no one will .....
If so then why live ?
Why suffer so much when you can die
Why be alive and be called a problem
I don't want to live
I don't want to be alive
I want to die
To disappear and never come back
Oropher: Where the hell did we find this fuckin' kid, man?
Elrond: My mom threw herself off a cliff because she thought that my 'adoptive' fathers were after the rock she loved more than us and then you kinda just picked me up
Elrond: I remember that very vividly.
Gil-Galad: *Mildly horrified laughter*
Anxiety is so fucking hard. You can't lay in your bed, you can't find a place for yourself, you walk around your room and don't know what to do. Hard to breathe. You're panicking. Oh God, I would do anything to get rid of it. I want normal life so bad.
I told my mom past weekend about my cutting, i show her my scars, my aunt, step-dad and sister too. They are very supportive and i love them so much. But because of me they are so worried and it makes me feel very guilty.
I woke up with fear, again, nothing new. Fucking anxiety. God, take me from this stupid world.
I want to cut myself so bad. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I think one month clean will go to fuck today.
I want to cry, i can't anymore
I HATE MYSELF SO FUCKING MUCH
"She conquered her demons and wore her scars like a wings"
I will probably tattoo this when I'm gonna be over with self harming
Over a month clean, but I started to miss this incredible pain and the sight of blood, feeling free from my stupid thoughts, emotions and fear. I miss it so much, but i doesn't want to disappoint my family
Monsters inside my head are so strong, but i don't want let them win
I woke up today about 5am with huge anxiety and fear. That's was awful. I took my calming medication and fell asleep again. I think about this big fear until now and i can't stop, it paralyzes me, i want to cry. I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared. Help me