Incorrectsilvercyclopsquotes - Incorrect X-Men Quotes - Tumblr Blog

Peter: Okay, well, what about this new linguistic discovery that I made in Chicago?

Scott: *staring intently*

Peter: What the sigma?

Peter: He’s got a level ten rizz.

Peter: No cap.

Scott: Oh! The youths, yeah.

Peter: Gen Alpha. 

Peter: Gen Alphaaaa. 

Scott: *gasps* Is that after Z?

Peter: Yessssss!

Peter: Good question, Scott!

Scott: How come you don’t point out when I ask good questions?

Jean: I don’t love you like he does.

Peter: Told you.

Pietro: What’s a guy have to do to get some decent treatment around here?

Pyro: You know Quicksilver? The criminal?!

Scott: Yeah, we’re just, uh, work friends.

Pietro: Work friends? I’ve been inside of you!

Pyro: *immediate gagging*

Alex: Y’know, there’s a lotta handsome fish in the sea.

Scott: Yeah, thanks, but I’m . . .

Hank: I thought you had such a good time with that Maximoff boy?

Scott: Yeah, uh, right now I’m looking for just female fishes exclusively. Pietro was just a–

Ororo: So you’re bi?

Scott: No, no, ‘Ro. I’m not, I’m definitely not. I’m not bi, Hank.

Hank: That’s okay.

Scott: I’m not.

Hank: I love you.

Scott: Can we just move on from this conversation?

Alex: I love my bi son.

Erik: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Moira: Weak. I sleep with a gun under mine.

Peter: You’re both pathetic.

Moira: What do YOU sleep with Mr. Hotshot?

Peter: *sipping his coffee* Scott.

Pietro: Okay, Scott. This is getting ridiculous now. It is clear that there is a sexual tension between us, but for some reason you decide not to act on it.

Scott: Um…

Pietro: Here, I made a PowerPoint presentation on why we should kiss:

1. I am very pretty

2. This is a classic enemies to lovers situation.

Crystal: Pietro, we’re married…

Pietro: Details.

The Brotherhood: Fuck the X-Men!

Pietro: *getting ready for his date with Scott* I already am.

Scott: Dude, you’re such a fucking asshole.

Pietro: *not even bothering to look up from his phone* You are what you eat, Scott.

Scott: Wuuuuh, what the hell, man?!

Scott: . . .

Scott:

here's Scott wearing quicksilvers costume in X-Men #59 if it so interests you, I don't remember the context for how he got it or why he's wearing it, I thinkkk he borrowed it for a mission?

Oh boy, you can’t even guess how many of my brain waves you just fundamentally shifted. That’s even my favorite of all the Quicksilver suits! I was already thinking about getting back into writing for Silvercyclops, but this alone has given my enough ideas to decide!

Scott: Getting bullied in high school is still no excuse for propping up dictators. Peter got bulled his whole high school career. He's not criminal. Jean: Um... Yeah, he is. Scott: Not a bad criminal. (Leverage)

Jean: Dude, he’s a terrorist!

Scott: Yeah, but not one of the bad ones.

Jean: You just think he’s hot.

Scott: The sexier you are the more you can get away with.

Jean: …

Erik: Were bonding. Peter even called me the D-word? Raven: Dumbass? Erik: No. Dad. (iCarly)

It starts off with dad. Then it turns into father, then it’s papa, then it’s pops, then it’s whatever Peter’s feeling. By the time two weeks have gone by, all the Xavier-Lensherr kids are referring to Erik as pa and he refuses to admit how happy it makes him.

Peter: Everything’s fine, Scott. | Scott: Peter- baby, Sweetheart, I know your relationship with the english language is uhh, strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond, anon! This describes them in a nutshell, no matter what version of them it is, no matter what universe it is. Peter absolutely does not know when the appropriate time to panic is and Scott panics way too fast.

only after scott has a kid and a wife though.

Charles: Name?

Scott: Scott Summers.

Charles: Sex?

Scott: . . .

Scott: Frequent?

Charles: No, which. Male, female, or–

Scott: Doesn’t matter. Both. Male and female. Sometimes together.

Jean: Just kill me now.

Charles: Name?

Scott: Scott Summers.

Charles: Sex?

Scott: . . .

Scott: Frequent?

Charles: No, which. Male, female, or–

Scott: Doesn’t matter. Both. Male and female. Sometimes together.

Jean: Just kill me now.

Pietro: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! What the fuck are we going to do!?!

Lorna: Calm down! The X-Men like us, right?! They’ll understand a small mishap with the president, right?!?

Pietro: My dick is good, but it is not that good, Lorna.

Wanda: How many of them–

Pietro: Everyone has a “bad” sibling that teaches you a few things. Like how to pickpocket, how to manipulate others, how to smoke.

Pietro: How to hotwire a car, how to forge documents, how to put tacks in your shoe to throw off a lie detector test–

Scott: Wait, which of your siblings was this?

Pietro: I am the sibling.

Erik: Who wants to make five dollars?

Jean: How?

Erik: I need someone to take the fall.

Charles: *distantly* Oh my god!

Lorna: What did you do?!

Erik: I can’t tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Wanda: Why can’t you–

Charles: OH MY GOD!!

Pietro: Make it ten.

Erik: Done!

Charles: OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

Erik: You’re a good son.

Erik: *dragging Pietro out by the ear* I GOT HIM, DARLING! DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!

Peter: So you like bad boys, huh?

Scott: I guess?

Peter: Tell him!

Jean: He’s just literally the worst.

Ororo: I don’t think that Peter is a good person.

Scott: You don’t have all the facts.

Jean: Which are?

Scott: I love him!

Scott: I think that–

Lorna: Scott, stop! This discussion is family only!

Pietro: Scott is family!

Vision: She’s just saying–

Pietro: This doesn’t concern you, Toaster!

Jean: Yeah, none of this concerns you, Vision!

Wanda: Woah woah woah! So, Scott’s family but Viz isn’t?

Jean: Yeah, they’re married!

Lorna: THEY’RE WHAT?!

Kurt: Hey, can I take you to my therapist next week?

Rogue: . . . why?

Kurt: She thinks I’m making you and all your issues up.

Scott: Pietro, Luna was proposed to at school today!

Luna: Yeah!

Pietro: *distracted* That’s nice, sweetie.

Scott: Show him your ring, bud.

Luna: *wearing an adult sized, diamond ring* Isn’t it so shiny? Ellie gave it to me during recess, she said it’s super special and she got it from her dad’s fiancé!

Pietro: Is that–

Scott: Yep.

Pietro: Should I go call Peter?

Scott: I’d rather just let him panic.

Wanda: What the fuck?!

Pietro: What was that?!?

Wanda: That was . . .

Lorna: That was fucking bullshit, that’s what it was!!!

Scott: Are you guys okay?

Pietro: Why did that bitch need all that room?!

Scott: Are . . . are you watching Titanic?