Dpdr - Tumblr Posts
intro because i got banned a while ago but never bothered to make an intro
call me jay (not my real name but if irls were to find this i would kill myself) but ill respond to basically anything.
unlabeled gender (he/him leaning but idc if you use any other pronouns, afab) and bisexual (taken)
i’m 14 (hs freshman)
my interests are: zero day, columbine (i’m not super into tcc, pretty much just columbine and andrew blaze), scream, martial arts (jiujitsu), i’ve gotten into my hero academia recently but i don’t really like anime, roblox
i love to listen to music but i’m not like INTO music if you get what i mean. i don’t ever listen to an entire musicians discography yk. but if i had to choose a genre that i listen to it’d be whiny indie rock or just alternative. and specifically stuff with electric guitar
i have ocd and not the like repetitive kind like the hypochondria and extremely gross intrusive thoughts kind. almost forgot dpdr too
i do not have discord
thank you for coming to my ted talk 😍
edit: with some thinking, i don’t actually condone 😇
edit2: 240 days!!
finished watching zero day!! (it took me three days)
FrAgMenT SpAcE
👁️ WE'rE fLoAtInG iN BrOkEn TiMe 💫
TiCk-T0cK sPlInTeRs SpIn In OuR MiNdS 📡
mEmOrIeS aRe sHaDoWs oF SoMeOnE eLsE's FaCe
LoSt In A DrEaM, a RaCe wE cAn'T pLaCe 🌠
wE'rE nOt tHe sToRiEs tHeY sAy wE shOuLd bE
pIeCeS aNd BiTs, jUsT FrAcTs Of a MeMoRy 🌀
ThEy wAnT uS tO bE wHoLe, BuT wE'rE jUsT gLiTcHeS
SiLvEr WiReS, bRoKeN sTiTcHeS ✂️
🎵 wE sInG iN tHe VoId, OuR vOiCeS sPlIt
eChOeS tHaT dRiFt AnD nEvEr qUiT 🗯️
LiKe SpAcE dEbRiS, wE'rE sCattErEd aWaY
tImE iS a LoOp ThAt We pLaY 🎭
fLaShInG lIgHtS iN tHe BlAcKoUt cUrTaIn
wE'rE tHe sPaRkS tHaT bRiNg tHe PaIn 😶🌫️
nOt tHe pErSoNs yOu rEmEmBeR bEfOrE
aNd sTiLL wE bReAtHe, bUt WhAt FoR? 🌌
fRiEd MeMoRiEs oN tHe bAcK oF OuR EyEs
sHaDoWs Of ThInGs wE dOn'T rEcOgNiZe
wE'rE tHe gHoStS oF OuR oWn iDeNtItIeS
cRiMbLeD iN cHaOs, a MiRaGe oF tRuSts AnD bLaSpHeMiEs 🪞
✨ TiEd tO nOtHiNg, nOtHiNg tO TiEd
wE'rE bUtTeRfLiEs WiTh WiNgS dEnIeD
sCrEaMiNg InSiDe AnD lAuGhInG aLoUd
BuT wE'rE fLoAtInG jUsT a VoId In ThE cRoWd 🚀
wE’rE nOt MeMoRiEs, wE’rE bReAtHs In ThE aIr
pIeCeS oF pAsT tHaT nEvEr qUiTe ThErE
LoSt In ThE PrEsEnT, oR mAyBe NoT
WhO aRe We ReAlLy, WhAt HaVe wE fOrGoT? 🌟
wE dOn'T nEeD To ReMeMbEr tO bE
OuR eXiStEnCe Is FrAcTuReD, bUt StIlL wE’rE FrEe 🎶
LoSt SoLs oN tHe eDgE oF a DrEaM
LiVinG iN mOmEnTs tHaT nEvEr qUiTe SeEm 🌀
So We SpIn iN ThE NiGhT, wE sHaTtEr tHe DaY
ExIsTiNg Is EnOuGh, In OuR oWn WaY
nOt MiNdFuL oF wHaT wE wErE mEaNt tO rEmAiN
fOr We ArE ThE pReSeNt, bReAkInG tHe ChAiN 🌌
My brain has simply stopped braining and I cannot really think much anymore, I’m just experiencing existence
.♡
mayb society can just fuk off and cry abt it if me being happy as a disabled person upsets them so fkin much
hello,
'our' name is Chance. our sign off on various blogs has been ✨️🦔, or ⭐️🦔. for now, it's just me, Joey. whether or not there are others, i don't know. i am considering the possibility of having a dissociative disorder, possibly a type of OSDD.
i am looking for advice from people with OSDD or DPDR. please be kind. i will be kind back.
have been on tumblr for over 3 years. started this blog august 13th of 2024.
thank you.
edit!!! Sept 2 2024
haiiii Joey here I take that back all if that above was chance's doing. lol. not that I don't remember typing that (we don't get amnesia) (i don't think) (lol) but I wouldn't really put it like that anymore so. my turn
heyyyyy we're chance and I'm Joey :3 questioning system, looking for friends and people to chat with and a place to discuss all of this :3 I also really like sonic the hedgehog, shadow the hedgehog, mettaton (specifically him, not really undertale as a whole anymore) :3 I also go by Mikey and Jo and Milez!!! whatever you want I don't care if you only use one!!!! thanks!!!!
even looking back at all my memories, i can only see them through what i have called for many years, since childhood, a 'camera.'
if you've ever done 3d animation, you will understand exactly - it's a camera, that i feel float around my body. i can't see other cameras through my own, but i feel as if, most people's cameras are tethered to their heads, to view the world through their eyes.
i'd like to know if this is relatable to anybody with a dissociative disorder, with or without a system of personalities.
thank you, ⭐️🦔.
having quick changes of mind is something common in people with OSDD?
i sometimes oscillate, in big waves, through adoring my friends, to seeing other people more like pets. i wholeheartedly care for them, but somedays my opinions feel so different. even on those off-days, i think, "how did i like them so much? they are just [x], [y], or [z]."
i worry that those are my true opinions. but i do not think so.
when dissociating or when focused on listening to anyone (in my head, in real life, music, etc.) i tend to completely disregard visual input - as in, when i snap out of that state, i have no clue what i was looking at. i don't think i move very much, but i've been told i don't look at people in the face when conversing.
does anyone else feel like they stole their body and are too ashamed to give it back
god it sucks that so much of the stuff on DPDR is Help I Did Weed And Now I Can't Go Back To Normal or Hello Kitty Liminal Space TraumaCore stuff. like please. come on.
You can call me Chance. If I had to give a number, I'd say there's four of us. Only two of us can be found online, Joey and I. Looking for people to chat with - don't be afraid to send us a message. bodily 18. don't be a pervert. boricua & proud 🇵🇷
☁️ Chance - I've been told I speak / type in a way that's more detailed than others, with longer, more complex sentences. goes by the body's name offline. (they/them)
🌱 Joey - more excitable, less formal. the main fronter. goes by the body's name offline. (he/she)
(persecutor) - never online. briefly takes control of the body to cause harm. not given a name. i try to ignore it as much as possible. (it/its)
(little) - the only little. never online. takes control under great amounts of stress. we don't remember much of what happens when she fronts. has a name, but it's the body's nickname. (she/her)
I flip-flop pretty frequently on whether or not we're a system. I'm writing this as I believe I am (for now...). If you check back later you may get a different answer. Don't be afraid to reach out. I enjoy talking with people. Thanks.
edit sept 16 :: I found blinkies and made some 😁 - Joey
DID systems 🤝 Hydras 🤝 being traumatised and splitting another one to cope
We made something we're super proud of today, I just have to be careful posting it online as it's for our final design assignment
...the green guy in the middle has my whole heart 🥺 grumpy sock puppet 🥺🥺🥺
For anyone wondering, the terms OSDD-1b and OSDD-1a have roots in the DSM-IV but aren't considered an official diagnosis any more. By all means, keep using the terms if they help you to differentiate and find community, just know they're not official diagnoses.
Introducing...
The million dollar question!
Did it happen,
Did I imagine it,
Did my sysmate do it,
Did I dream it or was I just so disassociated it feels like it wasn't real?
This is so good holy shit!!
Im glad your okay now!
Or recovering at least!
Happy two year anniversary of the release of the Rise of the TMNT movie. To celebrate, here's my interpretation of what Raph experienced before and during his time Krangified.
Some personal notes below the cut.
During the time the movie first premiered on Netflix, I was going through one of the worst periods of my life, and began to experience extreme dissociative episodes that would leave me in an extremely vulnerable physical state. I already related heavily to Raph after watching the TV show, but seeing what happened to him in the movie hit me on a much more closer and personal level. It took me two years to fully complete this comic, because working on it made me think back to these intense and painful memories, and that was a struggle for a while. Only recently, within the last couple months, has my situation bettered enough for me to work on it without being too uncomfortable.
This is me putting my raw, firsthand experiences onto paper, because I want to make peace with my past in order to move forward. Raph's victory in overcoming the Krang's control is, in my eyes, the same as my victory in surviving those intense dissociative episodes. This is a reflection of my personal struggle, meant to help me attain a very specific closure. I hope that perhaps someone else who is suffering, or who has suffered similarly, will see this and know there is hope. Our experiences may not be exactly the same, but I want you to know that you are not alone.
Lastly, I would like to thank every individual person who worked on bringing this show to life, from first conception to the movie's premier. Rise has been a source of light in my life that I never could have imagined. From the friends I've made, to the art I've created, to the fits of laughter and the tears I shed as I sat through every episode over and over again. It wouldn't be possible without any of you, so thank you for being a part of it. No matter how big or small a role, I am eternally grateful to you. 💚