Gender Roles - Tumblr Posts

this is my favourite meme

Кто из нас будет варить борщ? /// Whom of us will cook borshch?

Зачем мы наварили столько борща? /// WHY WE COOKED SO MUCH BORSHCH?

And tone of joke is lost it translation :/

Life advice to lost souls.

No one cares about your gender, race or identity. They only care if you respect them, the amount of money you make, and what you give to society. Never let anyone look down on you, for they are just self-absorbed losers. This is your life, given to by a higher power. In return you must provide something back.

I love watching people progressive themselves into radical right-wing beliefs, it's horrifying and very funny.

the repackaging of old misogynistic ideas that younger generations think they’ve outgrown into buzzword-filled tik toks and tweets that will be pushed towards young impressionable people is extremely dangerous. But also extremely funny like you can’t get this anywhere else

I had an urge 

Back during the second World War, so many women were required on the assembly lines that a new source of labour was needed to cover their more traditional roles. We are all familiar with the Stork’s wartime role in neonatal care, but less well-known is just how heavily the Secretary Bird impacted the expected duties of a secretary. Before the war, a secretary was expected to coordinate schedules and handle confidential information on behalf of their immediate superior. After the war, secretaries were largely ornamental, expected to be long of both leg and eyelash with somewhere between a six and seven foot wingspan (so famously portrayed by Christina Hendricks in AMC’s smash-hit docudrama Mad Men).

Back during the second World War, so many women were required on the assembly lines that a new source of labour was needed to cover their more traditional roles. We are all familiar with the Stork’s wartime role in neonatal care, but less well-known is just how heavily the Secretary Bird impacted the expected duties of their namesakes. Before the war, a secretary was expected to coordinate schedules and handle confidential information on behalf of their immediate superior. After the war, secretaries were largely ornamental, expected to be long of both leg and eyelash with somewhere between a six and seven foot wingspan (so famously portrayed by Christina Hendricks in AMC’s smash-hit docudrama Mad Men).

AMEN!

i am not being needlessly alarmist when i say that popular feminism has become extremely radfem-esque and that the normalisation of negative stereotypes towards men needs to be resisted. like. i clearly remember when feminists were derided as "man-hating feminazis" and the main counter-argument to that went something like "we don't hate men, feminism is for everyone, patriarchy harms men too and our goal is to dismantle that oppressive system, this will benefit everyone including men, men can and should be feminists because feminism is a movement for gender equality"

in fact the major rebuttal to men forming "men's rights" movements was always that the issues these groups identified were the negative impacts of the patriarchy on men. they didn't need a separate group because feminism was for everyone and feminist thought and theorising already accounted for the ways patriarchy harms men. which is true! many of the societal issues faced by men stem from white supremacist patriarchy and restrictive gender roles and traditionally feminism has given thought and time to those issues. feminism is for everyone and it is concerned with men's struggles under patriarchy alongside women's.

but somewhere in the last few decades that attitude fell by the wayside and now popular online feminism is this radfem-flavored "all men are bad forever" thing. now mocking, belittling, or hating men is #feminist #praxis. it's feminist to make jokes about #killallmen. it's feminist to view masculinity as inherently bad and dangerous. it's feminist to talk about the men in your life like they're animals who need to be house trained, or emotionally stunted children who need to be babied and distracted.

it's this idea of flipping patriarchy on its head and saying that actually women are the Superior Gender, women deserve to run the world and make all the decisions, and actually it's men who are the Inferior Gender who can't be trusted or left unsupervised.

these attitudes will always have the most severe negative impact on marginalised men. i don't know how we got here but it's past time we circled back around to "feminism is for everyone".

Does anyone else feel like the general attitude towards cross dressing is so misogynistic? Because to me it feels like women presenting masculinely are treated as if they're empowering themselves; some people are threatened by it and some are attracted to it. Whereas when a man presents femininely, he is almost always treated as if he's degrading himself for the benefit of others' sexual interests. Which falls right in line with how women have been treated for decades, doesn't it? If a woman wears makeup and gets dolled up, it's ALWAYS assumed that she's doing it for men, and no matter WHAT she does, she WILL be degraded for it. Whereas if a man puts on some ruddy cologne and slides into a clean suit, he is treated as the most powerful person in the room. Why is it that women are only seen as independent and powerful and dominant when they're imitating a traditional man? Why is it that men are seen as slutty, attention seeking and incompetent when imitating a traditional woman? Does anyone else see how absolutely fucked up that is?

I hate all of these useless words like "feminine" and masculine" that don't mean anything of substance. I want to live in a world where we shed adjectives that push people in gender-based boxes and we all embrace our most authentic selves; the way God created us to be.

that's not exactly true

Feminism doesn't want to erase the differences. It's just that most differences are solely physical. And we want the world - male, female, and everything in between - to realize that no gender is worth any less because of those differences.

And rather wanting to follow "traditional" gender roles is just as fine as turning them upside down; as long as one is happy with themselves.

Also, you can't win an argument with "not all men; I'm not like that". Maybe you aren't like that, but just standing at the sidelines saying that would change nothing about the fact that still too many men think excatly like that.

The fact that most men think feminism wants to switch things so that women oppress men is also one of the main reasons why they are so against it; what they fear most is that we’ll do to them what they have done to us for centuries. They know how badly they treat us, and fear having the same thing done to them.

Emotional Vulnerability Theory

On November 27th, 2020 at 7:43 a.m. I created a theory about whether or not people are capable of emotional vulnerability.

Back in ancient times, women were expected to maintain their household and children. Society demanded that men went to war and hunted for food. From this information, I concluded that being capable of emotional vulnerability depended on your society and their expectations for your sex. An emotionally vulnerable person to me is someone who can feel any emotion (depression, anger, jealousy, etc.) and then communicate that emotion to others without fear of judgment.

Historically, men expected to partake in war and hunting. That made them less capable of emotional vulnerability. The reason being, war and hunting both require one thing: being able to kill. Killing another being demands that you disregard your humanity. To become proficient at killing, an individual disregards any feelings of remorse. From this, it was reasonable that men could not allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable because experiencing the vulnerability of any kind made them appear weak or incapable. With war, sadness, anger, and remorse were an experience. Since being sad and remorseful were and are considered signs of weakness, men turn and have turned to anger. Being angry meant that you were strong and capable of slaughtering an entire army. Men were strong, hardworking husbands and fathers. Men repressed feelings of sadness and remorse regarding their actions. And so that was what they did.

The emotional vulnerability of women fluctuated throughout history. In some societies, they expected women to be reserved. Due to this standard, women in these societies repressed their emotions. Other women were allowed to express themselves, so they felt anger, sadness, etc. Women expected to tend to children and the household. Women were supposed to be loving mothers and wives. Because of this, women allowed themselves to feel and experience sadness. Being sad was not a sign of weakness, it was another emotion that got felt. 

If the roles of the two were reversed, with men being the caretakers and women the providers, history would have unfolded still. Wars. Empires and kingdoms and territories and tribes. Agriculture. Children. Education. Cultural exchange. Science and mathematics. Men would have struggled for their rights like women did and currently are. Sex has nothing to do with anything. Vaginas and penises are only sex organs. Because you are biologically male, you do not have to repress your emotions. Because you are biologically female, you do not have to take care of your household. There was a choice here, and it cannot depend on your biological sex. It should depend on you and what you want to do. Do you want to be emotionally vulnerable? Okay, cool. Do you not want to be emotionally vulnerable? Okay, cool. As long as this was what you wanted, then others should respect your decision.

Aside from societal expectations, there is a multitude of factors that could influence the capability of emotional vulnerability. Some important things to consider are an individual's childhood, mental health, school life, friends, morals, etc. Let me emphasize again how sex is not a contributing factor to someone's emotional capability. 

Here’s an articulated version of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s “We Should All Be Feminists”:  https://ameforeignpolicy.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/we-should-all-be-feminists.pdf

never in my life did I think that toilet doors would make me so angry

Puberty

Probably one of the most personal drawings I have made in a while:

I dislike change, it’s very upsetting for me, one of the reasons as to why being my autism. Unfortunately since I wasn’t diagnosed until this year, I had very little support.

So when my body started changing, I hated it. I hated my breasts so much and I hated wearing bras. They weren’t even that big but felt like a gigantic burden.

Along with it there were sudden changes of expectations that came with femininity. I was being more and more pressured to conform and I couldn’t do it even when I tried.

My clothes were too masculine and not revealing enough. Feminine, appropriate clothing were hell to wear.

The dolls and toys I loved to receive as gifts were replaced by makeup that felt itchy on my skin.

The boys were looking at me sexually and suddenly I saw myself doing my best to cover my body as much as I could.

And these damn breasts, these annoying sacks of fat that made it uncomfortable to run, to lie down, that had to be accompanied by uncomfortable bras…

The symbols of my failed femininity and the loss of my childhood.

An intriguing video about gender roles, violence, and rite of passage. Let's break it down as such, with a Daoist lens.

Being a member of modern society, the idea that men specifically have a duty to either impress others (males or females) with displays of masculinity is a bit disappointing to me. The fact that this video focuses so much on the self-imposed trials of Men not only illuminates the prevalence of this idea, but reinforces it. Are there truly no examples of female proving grounds? Or is it enough that they wed a man and bear his children? I do not believe that the Path particularly cares what sort of genitalia you possess; we all walk along it regardless of what our bodies look like.

Violence, on the other hand, is quite relevant to the Dao. It is, has been, and always will be an integral part of the human experience. We can choose to either ignore this, as the narrator (and the series as a whole) have implied, or we can recognize it and moderate it within our society. It takes place either in the form of athletic sports or violent rituals or actual combat, and there's a reason it has never left our societies. Rejecting it as a part of our identities would be as foolish as denying ourselves music or art; it is in our nature to fight. You might watch the stories presented and think the people and practices barbaric, but what defines barbarism? How does the absence of such violence in your life make you more civilized? In fact, it is more than likely that violence has simply taken a different form in your activities, making the line between civilized and barbaric essentially arbitrary.

With that said, however, the reason and cause behind violence in our lives becomes much more important. Once we accept that violence will exist as a part of our culture whether we want it or not, identifying the true nature of that violence is what allows us to create a harmonious state with it. More specifically, the idea that a group needs to express violence in order to prove themselves worthy of their peers is the most trouble I have with the episode. We are worthy enough to be ourselves, and should be judged by our own merits. None of the groups shown are in a state of war, and none are auditioning to be soldiers. Their performance in pseudo-combat is less about their actual skill and more like a quick way to discover traits about their character under duress. This is indeed useful, but a society following the Dao would need no such test, which is a second-handed way to learning one's true nature. A person's actions should be judged by how they live their normal everyday life, not by arranging circumstances around them to force them to act differently. The necessity to seek admiration and praise, to run from failure, to take oneself out of their actual reality so that they might be more than themselves in a different set of rules; these are indicative of an unstable base of persona. If we accept who we are without the need for others to approve us, then we can exist and perform as the person we choose to be.

This is not to say that the practices themselves are not beneficial to those that participate. The rigors of physical training, the tempering of combat, the satisfaction of executing a flawless gameplan or adapting to an unexpected setback; these are all incredibly useful and healthy for people to have, especially with violence being such an ingrained part of our nature. But they should be sought out and practiced by our own personal choices along the Path, not because they are needed to gain social status. If a people forge themselves to be stronger and sharper than they were before by their own choices, success and social status will follow.

About Arya: I think the North is used to unladylike ladies like Mormonts, Lyanna herself, Meera, etc... I think they don't see her as odd.

I do firmly agree that Arya's somewhat wilder nature would have not been considered an unfamiliar madness in the North.

But she is still unusual.

Lyanna is only widely known to have been mad for horses. Not so very different from an accomplished rider like Margaery Tyrell. Lyanna must have had some kind of training with the jousting lance in order to be the Knight of the Laughing Tree, but not so much as for it to be a well known fact about her, and she is also not generally described as a tomboy. She would presumably have been more comfortable wearing dresses or washing her face or brushing her hair than Arya is. Those are the truly unusual things about Arya: the messiness and lack of care in her dress. Arya rejects almost all the feminine aspects of her social role, that is what has her standing out.

Even someone like Dacey Mormont is noted by Catelyn to be just as comfortable in a dress and dancing as she is fighting in chainmail.

I would caution against the idea that Northern women in general are somehow different from Southern ones. They have a bit more variety in some places that belong to the North, but as a rule, they would be very similar in their social roles. Meera as a crannogwoman and the Mormont ladies are still a noted exception to the "regular" Northern women, who are not known for taking up “masculine” activities like fighting (like Sybelle Glover or Donella Hornwood or Alys Karstark or Barbrey Ryswell or the Manderly girls or the former Lady Bolton).

I don’t know if some of you have been to these live reads at LACMA, where a classic film is read live on stage by actors who just sit and read the script. We did one recently of American Pie, but we reversed the gender roles. All the women played men; all the men played women. And it was so fascinating to be a part of this because, as the women took on these central roles — they had all the good lines, they had all the good laughs, all the great moments — the men who joined us to sit on stage started squirming rather uncomfortably and got really bored because they weren’t used to being the supporting cast. It was fascinating to feel their discomfort [and] to discuss it with them afterward, when they said, “It’s boring to play the girl role!” And I said, “Yeah. Yeah. You think? Welcome to our world!

—Olivia Wilde crushing it when she talks about women in Hollywood.  (via leanin)

I want to boost everything this person has said and add on.

The reason I call myself a tomboy now, despite it being seen as a childish word and having had someone swear at me over it because ‘tHeRe’S nO suCh thInG as BoY thInGs anD giRL thIngS sHut uP’ is because I couldn’t call myself that or be like that when I was a kid. It was seen as a negative thing and I was already bullied enough. “Looking like a boy” was the worst thing that could happen to a girl.

And I’m not even 26 yet. We aren’t talking 30+ years ago, we are talking 2000s and even 2010s. It’s only since trans people have become more accepted in the past few years that gender nonconformity has too.

And the people who helped me accept my gender nonconformity more than anyone else? Were trans people. They taught me, “there’s nothing wrong with how you feel. You’re still a valid woman no matter what you wear, how you have your hair or what you’re into ❤️”

And don’t even get me started on how people treat gender nonconforming men. JK Rowling has a lot of nerve to be like “uwu boys can wear dresses and only us gendercrits accept that!” when she has, even in recent works, made femininity in men a negative trait, as well as making masculinity in women a negative trait also.

A lot of people still don’t accept gnc people even now. Just last year I had someone tell me they’d never let their daughter “dress like a boy”, and I’m always terrified to walk into a bathroom in case the next JK Rowling is in there, sees my gender expression and pepper sprays me or worse.

“There’s no such thing as boy things and girl things.” I don’t need to be told that and I’m sure 99% of trans people also don’t need to be told that. Tell that to the society that hates us both instead of actively encouraging that hate.

I will rewrite this , because its such low quality

https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/809944314260661534/

here its on pinterest , better quality

My husband [ 26m] took out my IUD last night,

TW: ABUSIVE MARRIAGE , REPRODUCTIVE COERCION , PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL ASSAULT

So this will sound crazy , and I guess it kind of is .

I am 23F and have been married to my husband for 2 years .we have a 1.5 year old daughter . I love him so much and he is a great father . He I told him I wasn't sure when I'd feel ready flr another kid since I just got off maternity leave a year ago and am working full time .

In the past few months after our daughter turned 1 , he's been really vocal about his wish for another kid . we usually use the pull out method , but it got to the point where I didn't even trust him to pull out ( this was how our daughter was conceived actually ) . so last month I secretly booked an appointment with my doctor and he gave me an IUD despite my aversion to getting hormones .

My husband does not know about my IUD . He has not been pulling out very often which makes me glad I got the IUD . however , yesterday , he found out because he caught me reading about it on the Internet . He got angry at me for hiding it from him and when we were about to have sex that night , reached in there and tried to get it out , which hurt like hell . I was panicking and hitting him and yelling for him to stop , but he ignored me and managed to pull it out . he then threw it in the trash and told me that "those things" are not good for my body anyways .

I'm so shaken . I'm normally a very calm and tough person but he really scared me. He apologized to me this morning and said he was just angry for not telling him about the IUD and getting it done behind his back .

What should I do ? I feel violated . My husband has always been rather pushy and mad when he doesn't get his way , but he's never gone this far.

( the comments )

you need to go to a doctor IMMEDIATELY as he may of caused some serious damage to you. what happened was assault . regardless of his views that is disgusting and alarming .

You should go to a trusted family members or friend after the doctors .

( op , the poster ) : I dont actually feel much pain aside from when it initially came out . I feel embarrassed to tell my family dx what happened and im scared something may happen to him..

commenter to her : you're scared something might happen to him? you should be scared of what he might do to you . you need to be angry about how he's assaulted and violated you.

This guy wants to control you via your body and is treating you like an incubator , not as person with her own bodily autonomy and agency.

you should go to a doctor and then the cops . he's committed domestic violence on your person .

( comments without her reply )

You might feel scared to tell the doctor because you know deep down what your partner did wasn't right and you're scared the doctor is going to agree with you .

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OP , I dont think you understand the gravity of how bad this is . There is so much fucked up shit on this sub , but this is literally one of the worst posts I've ever read on here.

This is an anonymous hotline . please use it . https://www.loveisrespect.org/for-yourself/contact-us/

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Women are the PRIZE 🏆

There’s a reason women walk down the aisle on their wedding day. Showcasing her value and beauty to everyone.

There’s a reason the man gets on one knee to ask for her hand and blessing just to marry her and have her a permanent part of his life.

There’s a reason some men cry while their wife is walking down the aisle.

There's a reason men stare when women walk by.

He knows she’s a blessing walking into his life. A PRIZE he’s been fortune to find. 🏆

The prize is also a role. The feminine role.

The prize is something you work for and chase to win.

The masculine works for the feminine to win her favor and trust.

The feminine is the prize.

The masculine is also valuable and just as worthy. But his role is not the prize.

'Never Depend On A Man' is WOUNDED FEMININE ENERGY

Women with this mindset are afraid to be vulnerable and trust a man.

Maybe because of past heartbreak or because they didn’t have their own father as a trustworthy person in their lives.

But this mindset is unhealthy. Especially for women who desire relationships and love.

We must heal if we want a good relationship.

The healthy feminine is comfortable being vulnerable but also has boundaries.

You have to trust each other to have a healthy, harmonious relationship.

A woman is supposed to be able to depend on and trust her man.

Let’s face facts, women are the vulnerable ones especially during pregnancy and when we have kids. So we seek out security from our men.

It is natural and healthy to trust a man for security, resources and financially.

Our culture today has taught women to be too independent and it’s actually unhealthy for us. We stay guarded in relationships and attract the wrong men as a result. Men we cannot trust who leave us to struggle alone with the kids.

You cannot attract a healthy, masculine, dependable man if you do not believe you can trust or depend on a man.