I Want To Be Happy - Tumblr Posts
I want to go to bed, wrap myself in a blanket, drink tea and cut myself off from people and the world. This is my little asylum where i'm happy.
FUCKING LIFE, WE CAN PUT THEM IN OURS ASS ONLY
At the next visit to a psychiatrist, I will ask if she will prescribe a Xanax for me to try, I wonder if she will agree to it... I would take a couple of pills right away lol
I've been clean for two months now, but I feel so bad that I want to self harm again, I want to cry
I really want to be happy. I want my mind to be free of it all. I want to live normally like other people. As I write this with tears in my eyes, it is tearing me apart into little pieces that will never be put back together again.
Seeing happy pictures of my friends on Instagram today, who look beautiful and have a great time, I will be so damn sad and I will feel even worse mentally and I will look worse at my own appearance, so I want it to be after New Year's Eve
The worst new year's eve of my life so far
idk why but in hard times tumblr helps me get through this a little bit better
i would like to buy a one way ticket to korea, ny or any other country, escape from poland and start a new, maybe better life
confused and tired.
am i that shallow to think that i am starting to fall for this guy just cause he is giving me his time? *sigh* i wish i don't know anything abt him and people will not judge me or him once i admit that i 'might actually like' him. i wish my friends wouldn't mind it. but idk what is really happening. damn he makes me happy when he talks to me especially when i am bored. but at the same time, he makes me feel left out once our communication stop. i don't understand why, but it seems so wrong. i can lay out all the reasons i can think of why this is wrong but i also want to know why this is really happening. it is so confusing. it is causing me a headache. this is making me a bad person coz i know somebody will get hurt at the end, its either one of my friends, him or me... and i don't want this to happen. never in my life i want this to happen. tho i would rather be hurt than somebody else getting hurt just because of me. i only wish he'll stop being too friendly to me. i don't want a misunderstanding and an expectation. all i want is for the two of us to find our happiness and nothing more... and if avoiding him is the only way i can stop this confusion then i'll do it. i am tired of having misunderstandings all the time. it is so petty and stupid. so please people be straightforward when you talk to me. i don't have all the time to fully get what you really want from me. i want you to be direct and honest. let's stop these lies. talk to me like a real man. i am getting tired of all of this. i just want to be happy...