Leaving - Tumblr Posts

i’m going to shut this place down.

Marie: hello guys! ummmmmm~ well this is gonna be hard to present..... well me and mina-

mina: hey! why drag me into this?!

marie: hey i can’t tell them by myself! help me!

mina: no way! the guys would hate me!

marie: what about me?! how the hell am i going to tell them-

mily: just get on with it! if you two idiot won’t say it i’m going to 

the mod-

chu-mod: is going to shut down this blog.

the girls: *silent and nervousness* 

chu-mod: as the girls were trying to say i’m shutting down this ask blog due to the fact that this blog IS an ask blog and i’m just not getting any asks.....so i’m gonna-

marie and mina: hold on don’t do it! we’ll figure something out!

mily: as much as i hate agreeing with them....i do think maybe you should give at least more time.....

chu-mod: ok. just for you girls (them: yay~!) i will give it some time before i’ll shut this place down. but you watcher don’t worry. i’m not leaving tumblr. as i do have a second blog. here: http://chao-chan-desu.tumblr.com/

we will see til then........

“What would make someone want to stay in a relationship like that?”

It’s been two years tonight, as of this very moment. Two years since the first time I hated him for a minute. 

It took the worst thing that ever happened to me to get me to even consider leaving.  And it still took me a year.  

Borrowed Time

"I’m going to leave you at some point.”

He left it open ended so he could use me, keep me anxious, and hating myself all at the same time.

I wish he’d just done it. Maybe I would have fewer nightmares by now.

It has been more than 2 years since I first watched the movie and today when I watched it again, it still appeared to me as lovely and poignant as the previous time. If there's one film that defines me completely then this is it . Of course our lifestyles are way too different and possibly I'll never have a boyfriend and be comfortable about him in front of my parents like her. But still, things that have a deeper meaning, that are universal and cross all the boundaries make this film mine. All my life,I had wished just one thing-to get out of this little town. I always wanted to live alone even if I knew I couldn't even make myself a cup of tea. Weirdly, even if I love this place, I still want to see the world outside, only to return here once again. I guess, I always wanted to leave because I wanted to come back and look at this town of mine with new colors; maybe it was nostalgia after all. And now I am a few months away from finally going away to a place where my parents can't reach in a day. I still know nothing about cooking, washing(okay a little) and being independent. And I am excited to learn it all, not here but there. I want to go there unprepared and watch my life unfold gradually yet so spontaneously. I want to learn these things in bits and pieces,dancing through the mistakes and little achievements.

And this movie explains it all. Even when I wasn't watching the film(in these 2 years),I went back to the little clips from the film especially the one with the last part where Christine asks her mother if she ever felt emotional the first time she drove through Sacramento because she did. N I would do too. N u would do too.

The reason why this film remains so relatable is because its drama and emotions are so tangible. It is my life, your life,our lives.

You can run away with me

anytime you want

x

i always picture you with a suitcase in your hand

unknown/richard siken/margarita karapanou/d.j./the national/ocean vuong/richard siken/phoebe bridgers

insane how andrew got to say exactly one (1) word through the entirety of tsc and that somehow managed to capture his entire vibe perfectly

Start with Facts. End with Iron and Wine.

I'm eighteen.

Today, my family went to vote. I couldn't, my application got caught up in too much red tape. I wouldn't know whom to vote for anyway. I didn't tell them that though.

My father told me to make him some tea today. He likes it freshly made, with tea powder; not really a fan of teabags, the man. Although, I think teabags are pretty pretty. I don't like tea though, not with milk, I don't. Black tea's fine. I read that green tea is quite slimming. Have yet to try it though.

Anyway, I made tea with tea powder. He spat it out. And asked me when I'll ever learn to be useful. While my mother mumbled something about learning to cook an entire meal at the age of eight.

She's a good cook, my mother. Which is awesome and not so awesome at the same time. It's awesome because I get to eat some of the best food in the world and not because a) food=fat b) pretty high culinary standards to live up to since I'm a) eighteen, a full fledged adult and b) unable to make a simple cup of tea.

I'm not what my parents wanted in a daughter. And they're okay with that. They just want me to contribute to society; to be useful. It's kind of hard when you're so confused trying to figure out who you are, I don't think they get it. Maybe they've never been confused. Maybe they just chose the easy way out, being who they were told to be.

It's high time I find out who I am though, I never liked growing up. I cried for hours when I got my first period. I refused to wear a bra when my breasts began to form and now my gigantic boobs are starting to sag at the age of eighteen! Quel Dommage! I'm an adult. Yet, I forget to charge my phone, to brush my teeth. I need to be reminded to comb my hair. I need to be reminded that I'm loved. Constantly.

I'm insecure. I feel like I don't belong where I was born.

Sometimes, it scares me how willing I am to just leave everything behind and fly away to a distant land. There's this pair of white birds outside my window.

There's no other bird like them in this part of town. I wonder why they return to the same tree every sundown when they can be on a conifer in Russia one month and a palm tree in the Bahamas the next.

The experts would ask me to ask myself the very same question. I tell myself that I stay where I am because I'm unselfish and grateful for all that I've been given. I don't want to take it for granted. That's what I tell myself.

But the truth is, I'm afraid of loneliness. And I think you are too.

It's like a baby sleeps in all our bones, so scared to be alone.

On leaving or dying 

sleep on the floor - the lumineers / fast car - trace chapman /  this year - the mountain goats /  ghosts - the head and the heart / roll away your stone - momford & sons / keys in the car - jukebox the ghost / i am disappeared - frank turner / twin size mattress - the front bottoms / maps for the getaway - andrew mcmahon / this town ain’t big enough for the one of me - frank turner /  land locked blues - bright eyes /  go farther in lightness - gang of youths /  everything i own - the front bottoms 

~They say the hardest goodbyes are the ones you never see coming. I couldn't disagree more with that statement. The hardest goodbyes are the ones you see coming, the ones you can't stop, the ones that are unavoidable. You can't think of a way out of them, and there's nothing you can do or say to make them stay. So, no, it's not the unseen goodbyes that hurt the worst. It's the long, foreseen, and inevitable goodbyes.~

-a poem of a new kind

it’s okay guys I found the secret good Supernatural ending 

Sorry Ms. Jackson

Him / (her)

Warnings : leaving, heartbreak, angst, no fluff, still having feelings.

Pairing(s) : him/her; her

Genre : angst

[ Tokyo revengers: Haitani Ran, Haitani Rindou, Kurokawa Izana, Kanto!Mikey, Kawagari Senju, Hanma Shuji, Sanzu Haruchiyo (-your favs)

Jujutsu Kaisen: Sukana Ryomen, Fushiguro Megumi, Zenin Maki, Fushiguro Toji, Geto Suguru (-your favs)

My Hero Academia: Tomura Shigaraki, Dabi, Shinso Hitoshi, Kirishima Ejiro, Aizawa Shouta, Miriko (-your favs)

WC: 249

E n j o y

"NO DON'T LEAVE!"

That was her breaking point, all the years she had spent giving it her all knowing damn well that loving someone who can't even love themselves, much less love back, was a waste of time and heart. It's ridiculous really. Tricking herself into believing he would change, for her.

A teary eyed glare was all that she could afford to give him, yet even then, it was barely glazed with hatred. It's hard to let someone go when you've known them your whole life. At least your whole love life. The glare still held love, and hope for a better love life. But not for her, she hopes no other women go through this like she did, she prays that this man gets a better mindset, and gets a partner that can really help him through his hardships, she wishes that he will find peace in someone that can treat him better than her.

"I really loved you... I r-really did. But I'm not for you. I hope you heal and i wish you a better life. Time is precious, please don't waste it honey" giving him a soft smile, no hidden intentions or malice, just pure hope for him. She turned to leave, without hurting eachother even more, ending on a heartfelt note.

Head in his hands, knees on the ground and tears rolling down.

"I'm sorry M-Miss Ja-Jackson I am for real

Never meant to make your daughter cry

I apologize a trillion times..."

me as soon as i leave this school, country:

this is me writing in my diary after ugly crying (no one is forgiven and i'm way more dramatic)

Guarda "REM - Leaving New York @ Koln (Cologne) Germany - 24 Septembre 2004" su YouTube

Now life is sweet, and what it brings

I tried to take.

the loneliness it wears me out,

it lies in wake.

and all I've lost, you're in my eyes,

shatter a necklace across your thighs

i might've lived my life in a dream

but i swear it, this is real

memories refuses, and it shatters like glass

mercurial future, forget the past,

but it's you, it's what I feel...

Don't.

It's late, and dinner in this household is never late. In his life of four years in the household, dinner is never eaten past eight, or as she says the monsters will chew their years off. Buck feels hollow inside, the growling in his stomach getting louder with every passing second.

Abby is happy, crawling on all fours as she chases after the yellow squeaky toy. Hearing Abby’s giggles Ella picks up the toddler, cradling her in her arms. Abby coos, Buck slowly approaches the two, standing by Ella’s side, with Abby in her arms she looks at him and then the clock.

Finally, dinner is served. Everyone is eating as usual, the baby nibbling on her carrots, with occasional clattering coming from the plate beside. But Buck senses a shift in the air, is it the food or something else?

With deafening silence looming over their heads, which was never the case of his home, Ella looks at Buck and crouches down to him. Very sweetly she caresses and he lets her fondle his ears. He jolts up with joy, as if nothing was wrong the whole evening. This makes her giggle, the same sound she made whenever Buck would do something cute. ‘Calm down boy’, she says suddenly with a sad smile.

Ella opens the door, scooping Abby in her arms and calls Buck outside. Slowly, taking out the ball from her pocket, she throws it with full force. ‘Run’ thinks Buck, so he does with a speed of lightning. Once Buck catches the ball, he happily runs towards the house. Instead of Ella’s sweet giggles he sees a car moving away from the now dark house. He runs after it, until he cant see the car any more. Buck halts. Standing in the middle of the road, under the dark night wagging his tail, barking and barking.

I wake up to 31 tumblr notifications and suddenly it’s 2021 and I just got mass quote retweeted by a fandom

Don’t you ever just want to run away from everything. People, Everyone. Just get into your car and never return. You the open road and a Guns N’ Roses Album blasting on the stero. I want to just up and leave the terrible town. Go to California and do crazy things. Stand on the top of the Empire State Building and pretend to howl like a wolf. Or maybe start a band in the back of a person house. John Green should write a book about my life.

-I need a biopic about my life

WOMEN HAVE THE POWER

brosnahan + zegen \ the marvelous mrs. maisel \ ep. 3 \ created by amy sherman-palladino