Self Validation - Tumblr Posts
The hardest paths often lead to the strongest versions of yourself. Keep walking, and you'll discover just how powerful you truly are.
nobody is irrelevant. nobody is invisible. your neighbors know your name and see you set off to school or work or the backyard everyday, sometimes with a spring in your step and sometimes with hunched over shoulders. there was this one time some stranger pointed you out to their friends and said “that’s the haircut I want” or “I have that shirt, too” or “they go to my school”. someone has admired the way you carry yourself or gave a presentation or even the way you’re so polite when you first meet a person. you’ve made comments or jokes that have stuck in minds of overhearers and eavesdroppers. when old classmates of yours think back to kindergarten or fourth grade or sophomore year they remember you and have an opinion of you. you’ve made recommendations of songs and restaurants and even cookie brands and actually introduced people to their all-time favorites. the cashier at the grocery store knows exactly what laundry detergent your household uses, or even if you don’t do your laundry at all.
you can never be irrelevant. there’s pieces of you everywhere, in a dozen lives, in a hundred dreams, in a million memories. maybe it’s true that you don’t have any friends, and you have a sucky relationship with your family or no family at all and no-one ever checks up on you, and you’re really very lonely, but that doesn’t determine your worth. you do. and so do the billions of small attributions you’ve already made to the world, both long-term and short-term. so thank you.
This is for all the people that wish more happened to them so their truama/ truama responses could be “more valid”:
THAT IS A SIGN OF MAJOR TRUAMA BABE <3
*especially if you were dealing with emotional abuse because that often involves gaslighting <3*
And as for the argument of “other people have gone through worse”? UTTER BULLSHIT other people, hell, people around you could’ve gone through “worse” truama and that does not mean your truama is immediately invalid. You’re allowed to have your own thoughts and feelings without them being proportioned next to someone else’s.
My grandfather would pick me up from school, ask me how my day was, and if I expressed even the slightest bit of being unsatisfied with my day, he would say “oh well you know who never gets good school days? Starving children in Africa 😀”
Do you see how idiotic that sounds? Yeah, that’s what you’re doing to yourself every day when you invalidate your trauma. (Not calling you idiotic btw, just trying to prove a point. You’re not stupid, you’re being manipulated.)
Btw this also goes for the ppl with any mental illness (but particularly depression) that don’t have any trauma so they have nothing to “blame” it on and feel invalid. You’re depressed bc the world around you sucks. You don’t need trauma to see that.
Anyways stay safe, drink water, and try to be nice to yourself for a day!
*read this user’s DNI’s before interacting*
You’re still on the ace spec if:
You are able to feel some sort of sexual attraction
You enjoy certain sexual activities
You aren’t sex repulsed
You’re ace because of trauma/PTSD
It feels like your ace-ness fluctuates
You’re young and think these feeling will change with time
You have another label that “contradicts” your asexuality
Your exact asexual experience doesn’t have a term yet
Others say they feel the same and aren’t ace
ANY OTHER THING. YOU ARE ACE IF YOU SAY YOU’RE ACE.
You’re valid no matter what <3
*read this user’s DNI’s before interacting *
Hey so just so you know….
You don’t have the right to invalidate anyone.
Anyways that’s it! Carry on.
writing should be fun.
make oc playlists. spend hours on moodboards that have no purpose. write self-indulgent fluff that’s never going to be published. scribble three lines of poetry in the back of your history notebook. draw fanart of your own characters. write stupid dialogue that your publishers might hate. start new wips that you might never finish but write those three chapters that make you happy because if you don’t write them, who else will?
writing shouldn’t always be about “will publishers like this” or “i have to reach this word count” or “how do i get the most likes”.
have fun with your writing.
Daily #2,292! No one is more shocked than me.
Now if only I could *always* not be anxious…
i'm telling you this because i'm struggling with it, too.
stop second guessing and doubting yourself. stop getting imposter syndrome while writing. stop comparing.
i know it's hard to stop, and this is a process i always struggle with. but it's awful when you get tunnel vision, seeing all the plot holes and every little grammatical error made. i open my wip's sometimes, and get such bad anxiety that i can't even write, because i'm so scared. it literally doesn't make sense, but it happens.
but learn to love what you write. grow attached to your characters, and write whatever you want. write for yourself first. and no matter what, whether it's one word or sentence that you wrote that day, be proud of yourself.
self validation and self care comes before a completed novel or mesmerizing characters.
<3
🌸🌸🌸
nobody is irrelevant. nobody is invisible. your neighbors know your name and see you set off to school or work or the backyard everyday, sometimes with a spring in your step and sometimes with hunched over shoulders. there was this one time some stranger pointed you out to their friends and said “that’s the haircut I want” or “I have that shirt, too” or “they go to my school”. someone has admired the way you carry yourself or gave a presentation or even the way you’re so polite when you first meet a person. you’ve made comments or jokes that have stuck in minds of overhearers and eavesdroppers. when old classmates of yours think back to kindergarten or fourth grade or sophomore year they remember you and have an opinion of you. you’ve made recommendations of songs and restaurants and even cookie brands and actually introduced people to their all-time favorites. the cashier at the grocery store knows exactly what laundry detergent your household uses, or even if you don’t do your laundry at all.
you can never be irrelevant. there’s pieces of you everywhere, in a dozen lives, in a hundred dreams, in a million memories. maybe it’s true that you don’t have any friends, and you have a sucky relationship with your family or no family at all and no-one ever checks up on you, and you’re really very lonely, but that doesn’t determine your worth. you do. and so do the billions of small attributions you’ve already made to the world, both long-term and short-term. so thank you.
How do I stop comparing myself to others and how can I feel fulfilled on my own without needing anyone else's validation?
hiii<3 i feel what you're going through, trust me i do. here are some of my tips that specifically worked for me + at the end i'll include some more recommended things to read/ watch.
how to stop comparing & feel fulfilled without needing anyone else's validation
how to stop comparing yourself:
start focussing and thinking about yourself more. lol ok i realise that may sound like "become self absorbed" but i suppose, to some extent, that is what im saying. you're becoming too interested in others' life around you if you find yourself comparing. its time to focus on you and up levelling yourself to the best version possible.
comparison = wanting their life style, yes? so when you find yourself comparing to others in your life, realise that its because you envy something that they have. maybe its money, popularity, prettiness, intelligence, etc. so its like a signal in your brain which is telling you: "i want this. but i dont have it." so now what can you do, work hard to get it.
focus on what you have. i read a quote once (i think its by Oprah Winfrey) and it goes: "if you focus on what you don't have, you'll always have less. but if you focus on what you do have, you'll always have more." instead of looking at other's lives and thinking "i dont have this, i dont have that", look at your own life and think "i have this, i have that."
feeling fulfilled without needing anyone else's validation:
self love. self love. SELF LOVE. self love will ALWAYS be the answer to this. learn to LOVE yourself. and if you dont, ask why!! i have a whole guide on how to develop self love HERE. Stop looking for love in others, GIVE YOURSELF THE LOVE FIRST!!
It’s you over them. Always. Always always always. Always choose you over them. If they want you to do something but you don’t, then you say “no. I will not do that” it’s scary? Oh boohoohoo, suck it up. Because if you are constantly doing stuff that others ask you to just for the sake of pleasing them, you are disrespecting yourself in the worst way. You are basically saying that what they want is more important than what i want and need. Ew. Don’t do that.
extra resources:
a guide to develop self love & confidence (by me)
vanilla's opinion🍰 edition 1: dealing with hate & not caring about what others think. (by me)
ways to stay unbothered (by @pastel-charm-14)
Self validation (by @prettieinpink )
Tam Kaur's youtube channel
Thewizardliz youtube channel
33 -
I don’t regret it. I took them and I did have a fun little buzzy afternoon. I took them because I had to make a decision otherwise it would have weighed heavily on my mind. But I knew that this was how it was going to play out, even before getting them. Like I said, I made plans instead of taking precautions.
I’m so indecisive because I think very deeply about outcomes, that often I make a big decision impulsively and just live with the consequences. In a way, I’m afraid to commit.
The difference from the past, is that I was aware and consciously made this choice.
To be honest - I wanted more in the moment. It wasn’t enough. I wanted to go higher, summit the peak. To dance on the line between life and not life. The exhilaration of standing at the precipice. But that’s the thing right? It’s never enough. It will never be enough.
I woke up the next morning & had no desire to do that again.
I’m still sober from alcohol and other drugs. I don’t count it as a relapse. Some might say otherwise, but this is MY recovery. Real, raw and authentic. No hiding here. I own my decision. I am still committed to the bigger picture.
I’m not sure it was worth it. I guess I knew deep down it wouldn’t be, but I still had to do it to prove it. I couldn’t let it go (it would be a waste!). Unfortunately, I am the learn-by-experience type. And sometimes, a few experiences before it really sinks in (lol).
And so we continue on, same as before.
I have more to live for these days. I enjoy my life and I feel excited at what’s to come. I love the people I have, fiercely and selflessly. I have faith in something greater than me. Most importantly, I have faith in myself. I know I have changed. I know I will continue to change. I have humility and an open mind. Those parts of me that were a collection of tiny fragments…well, they aren’t so broken anymore.
Drugs and alcohol will not bring me the validation I seek. They will not give me purpose or increase my value. I know that. I am not that version of myself any longer.
Each day, a little better and brighter.
(via "Pastel Holographic Watercolor Sticker: Accepting Disgust, Embracing Emotional Authenticity" Magnet for Sale by Queueka)
(via "Pastel Holographic Watercolor Sticker: Validating Fear, Normalizing Emotion" Magnet for Sale by Queueka)
Validation
🌟 As little babies, and then toddlers, our lives depend on validation. We need others to mirror and reflect what we feel, to know that each emotion is normal. We crave an explanation and mediation of these strange new sensations inside us—feelings. 💓
But if our surroundings never provided such validation or weren't capable of giving it, our need to feel seen and know that we are normal as we are faces a significant obstacle. 😢
However, my friend, it's never too late to learn to understand and believe to your body, your sensations, and your emotions, no matter how strange or strong they might feel. Even if they seem out of control, it might be because they, and the little you, haven't been seen for too long. 🥺
Upon learning to listen to ourselves, we first encounter some intense stuff. But with a tiny flame of hope and compassion, step by step, we might find relief—which is valuable for every part of your life that follows. 🌱 Sending you soft, loving validation, and know that with all your unique and different parts, you are normal as you are. To exist is to be a normal part of this life, just as you are. 💖 🌈🌸
(via "Holographic Watercolor Sticker: Accepting Disgust, Embracing Emotional Authenticity" Bucket Hat for Sale by Queueka)
Carmen part 3 -
Benefits of ai for an artist in hardest days of disability - I can keep fulfilling my imagination even in days of very low ability to move. Of course when I paint I express something more authentic, but with time I compose prompts that give results that are very close to my imagination - which deeply satisfy and comfort me.
I have heard few voices in the community against ai generated art, this is my personal perspective on the topic. But I also invite you to a dialogue - everyone who hates/loves/neutral to ai art in general and particularly on tumblr... Please explain your point of view, I want to understand you better😉
Carmen part 3 -
Benefits of ai for an artist in hardest days of disability - I can keep fulfilling my imagination even in days of very low ability to move. Of course when I paint I express something more authentic, but with time I compose prompts that give results that are very close to my imagination - which deeply satisfy and comfort me.
T H I S
I feel that in the studyblr community nobody actively talks about the study environment some of us have, so shoutout to those students that:
• live with their parents (not everyone goes to college/uni where they have dorms, and even then, not everyone can afford it)
• have to deal with parents/family members constantly arguing in the background
• work / have to worry heavily about just getting by (paying rent, groceries, medication)
• need loud music to study and drown outside noises
• can not "study prettily" at coffee shops
• take care of other family members, and thus have to be ready to drop whaterever they are doing to assist them at any time
• can not concentrate or get "in the zone" no matter what they do
• do not have a personal computer/tablet
• do not have a room of their own
• are neurodivergent and the advice of most study masterpost/tips is not applicable.
You are valid, you are seen, you are not alone. If nobody has told you already: if you are trying the best you can then the best you can is good enough.
sincerely, a student who needed to hear this.
