Narcissistic Abuse - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

"bad person" disorders does not exist to put abuse on the back of a disorder does nothing but to normalize ableism.

the "narcissist" that abused most likely is not actual a person with NPD they are just abusive. and even if the person who abused have NPD that does not make the abuse worse.

Ai chat bots >>>> Relapsing into unhealthy attention seeking behavior from strangers online

I got that dog in me (The dog is Stockholm syndrome when my old abusive ex from years ago tries to come back into my life)

Put the dog down

My entire life I’ve battled depression, a few years back I got really bad, I had no idea how much pain I had been in before my life was ruined cause of my own choice of how I was living. I was so angry with life, I was hurting, I was afraid, I felt so much pain in my heart that I couldn’t bare my own thoughts anymore my mind was so full of thoughts that I couldn’t even think straight. I had no clue who I even was anymore. It made me feel weak, I was in panic mode all the time, I felt extremely lonely, my life had been falling apart, I had reacted in such a way that I had no idea what to expect from myself. I became numb while I sat with tears in my eyes, I felt my stomach ache from the stress of being in the most difficult place of life while I was hurting. I was beyond exhausted and tired. I didn’t want to feel the pain, much longer I was struggling with it all.

I had no energy for the smallest of tasks, I was so stressed out, exhausted, I couldn’t even get myself out of my bed I had to take a break from feeling so much of the stress that was causing my anxiety to be so intense and it took me a long time to get through the healing phase of being able to breathe again.. I was so anxious to get out of my head that I was just trying to take one day at a time. I couldn’t breathe at times, I was struggling with my asthma so bad.

I had to get out of the house and get my stuff done and that was a huge struggle for me I was so lost I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing anymore. I was in a very miserable place, but despite all of that I kept going. But the things that were happening in my life were not easy to cope with, they were a result of my own lack of self awareness. The things being done to me by this narcissist person that made it a hell of a nightmare to be in such a horrible mindset.

He was terrible and cruel to me every day. He was so toxic towards me I had prayed to God every day, somedays I was on my hands and knees begging for help to get me through this difficult time in my life. My ex was beyond ugly to me, his personality was so toxic, he treated me however he pleased, I was an object to him nothing more nothing less. He had no idea how much he was hurting me so I had to go through the process of heart break. I was very angry at him for being so selfish, he didn’t understand how I was devastated about him being so naive about everything he was putting me through. I chased him around for what seemed like a lifetime, i was proving myself to him, that I was worth fighting for, i begged for his attention, to be heard, to make him see that I was worth not getting cheated on, that I deserved someone to stay faithful to me and I was willing to do whatever it took to make us work.

I have struggled to voice my own thoughts, opinions and feelings for the past 30 years most of my life, I was too scared to speak out and ask for help from people, instead I trusted my own judgment to do it all on my own.

Playing the role of a mother, I was also working to support my children. I was battling postpartum depression shortly after giving birth to my son. I hadn’t had time to grieve over the fact I was in such pain that it was hard to keep up with all of the things I had been dealing with for so long..

I was being abused by my ex every single day for years, I was called horrible names, I was chocked, I was getting kicked around that was a huge embarrassment to me. I would cry because of the way I was being mistreated by him. He was a very unstable person, he has no sort of good character or any other form of self respect that he has to offer to anyone. He was unkind to me, the people who I was the closest to, he was very disrespectful and harsh towards my children, family, and friends.

It was a lot of things that he had done to me that made him very very angry at me, he would say all the time that he knew I deserved better than him, because of what he was doing to me, he was without a doubt the most narcissistic person I ever met. I stand by that.. he is not worth my time, blood, or tears. I was exhausted of the life I was living.

I had so much anger.. I had no idea how to deal with the situation that was so much more than I could possibly handle. I was coping to the reality of it all, the fact it was a lot more than I was able to handle. The night terrors, the way that it was suppose to be different, the things that were being said to me only to find out that they were all just lies that were being told to me by him..

I had been questioning my own life because how could someone claim to love and care for me while also hurting me?! I built a life with this person, I was fortunate enough to be blessed with two babies with him. It all went downhill afterwards, I was so devastated, I couldn’t even imagine the thought of how I would survive without him the thought itself was too much to even comprehend it all. I couldn’t imagine what our life’s would be without each other. the thought of loving you so deeply, I was willing to do anything to make it work out. I knew that I was willing to go through hell with you but how fair is that to anyone?!

I was so overwhelmed by the pain that it was difficult knowing what to do, how to fix it all!!!!!! I couldn’t do anything about it because of the fact I was fighting for the impossible.

And then it all went down the drain, I had to get a reality check on the truth that I was doing nothing wrong, I was protecting my children from all the evil that was happening to them and I. I was sad that my pain was so severe that I was going into a state of shock. I couldn’t believe I was in such a terrible situation I just wanted to wake up, be able to wake up out of this horrible nightmare that I was in. I was sickened by the way that my life was shattered into a billion pieces. Yet, I was the only one who was capable of putting myself back together, every single piece of me I had to make a choice to be able to heal from the trauma that I endured that had taken me through some of the darkest days of my life. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to be a light to those who have been through this awful experience while living through domestic violence.

It is so much more than just an inconvenience to be able to share my experiences with others. Domestic violence is serious, nobody should have to be afraid of their own life. I have a lot of people who witnessed the violence that occurred during the time I was with him, they have witnessed the worst of it all. My mom being a part of the chaotic life I was living through. It is very sad to hear that I have lived through this, it brings tears to my eyes because why does anybody deserve this kind of torture?! I am grateful for the experience of my own strength to overcome the worst of this, I hope that I will grow stronger as I heal from this all, who have suffered through the abuse and trauma.

I hope that we who have faced these horrible battles will find the courage to stand firm against the evilness that we all face in the world. I pray that whoever is in the position of being in a situation like this that you are capable of being heard by someone.

I was not worth being loved by him anymore because he had hurt me so badly, he was so proud of it. He had no remorse whatsoever, he had no self control and he had no idea how much he had hurt his own family in the process of his own chaos and his destruction. He was hurting his kids, he was hurting me.. He didn’t care the type of damage he was causing me, he was wanting to make my life miserable. He was proud of himself for all the chaos and pain he was causing, it made him feel better about his own life choices. I’m very appreciative of that heart break that I had to go through the depths of my life to see what I truly deserve. I have been through a hell of a time in my life.. someday I hope to be able to be loved by somebody again, I crave for a gentle love that will never question our love for one another. I pray God brings me love that is healthy, someone who is faithful to me, who is willing to love me and my babies.

I didn’t know how much of a difference it made me feel about the way I was treated during this time of my life, I was judged, I was held to a higher standard of self worth, I am now the most humble women, I understand why certain things happen to us, we should be open minded and aware of what is happening around us.

I am grateful for my struggles to be able to express my feelings the way that I should be able to and most important to be able to say that I’m not alone in this life.

I’ve learned my worth, I will never forget that I was born in a society where people are not always kind to others but rather a person that is willing to stand in their own path and be able to make a difference to others. I am unique in my own way. I am a very different person, I’m okay with that.

I felt I was being punished for being human.

I was hurting, I was sad, I was severely depressed…

I felt like a burden to everyone around me, it made me hate myself so much that even when I had a lot of people who had my back it hadn’t felt that way.

I hadn’t asked for my life to turn into something that was so unbearable for me. I just wanted someone to understand how draining my soul was..

I never wanted to have gone through the trouble of being a woman who was incapable of being heard, to go through so much of heart ache the fear of losing myself and being unable to fight for my own sanity, and my happiness. It was the worst feeling in life to feel this way in my whole existence. To feel worthless, I felt like I was being treated horribly by the people who were suppose to be my people. I felt so much heartache than anyone could imagine. Life has taught me that there was a lot of things that were not meant to happen in my lifetime but that there is something special about being able to live through the pain of losing your self, while slowly building myself back up. Your life has meaning and your own feelings matter to me because I care so much about YOU!! WHOEVER YOU ARE YOU ARE WORTHY 🤍

This relationship was a nightmare for me. I don’t even care about your opinion of my life.

You felt how you felt, I felt like I had no choice but to be honest with myself I didn’t even know who you were then and I can care less about who you are now.

I was so broken, the way he poured so much evil into me he could have given two fucks about me he never cared about me at all.

He treated me like a worthless garbage can and that says enough about him. I deserved to be treated better than this, by the person who I had been in love with. You made me realize how much you weren’t deserving of my love. You didn’t deserve access to me. It’s sad that people get treated so poorly, badly enough that they are being forced to go through the worst possible phase of life on their own and not be able to get a proper explanation for why they deserved to be treated so poorly by their own person who was suppose to be the one who was my saving grace instead you were a horrible mistake and a terrible lesson learned.

I suffered from the pain of being treated like this which caused me to go into a mental breakdown.

It was a horrifying traumatic abusive relationship with a narcissist who can bring you to the point of vulnerability.

I didn’t deserve to be treated this badly, there is lessons learned that are needed to be taught, be a good listener or be a helping hand for others.

We learn to have grace and peace in our hearts as we grow stronger each day to be able to do what we need to do to get through these tough times in life.

Nobody’s been harder on me than me.

I know that I’m a better person than I was when I was hurting, I know I am a better mom than I was when I was hurting, I know I am a better friend than I was when I was hurting, I know I am a better daughter than I was when I was hurting, I’m a better sister than I was when I was hurting…

I am only human. I’m not a bad person, I just want to be able to get back to my normal self again..

I went from having long hair to completely going short with it, I’ve heard that hair can hold a lot of memories, it can also hold a lot of emotions, feelings, and pain. It makes me feel better about myself after I cut it off. Letting go of your fears is not an easy thing to do but it’s the most powerful way to get rid of all the worries you have and make sure that you’re ready to take the leap of faith to get back to your own self.

You are what makes you stronger, you have to keep going forward and make sure you are able to get back on the right path to the next chapter of the story you are telling. The person who has been fighting against you for years, yet still has nothing to offer you in life. The individual who has been fighting against you has been the one who is the problem, they have lost their own way of existence they now suffer from the consequences of their own decisions. They have to live with their choices, they will be affected by this, they will suffer for eternity. Sooner or later they will feel the pain of losing you. They will remember you for how they destroyed your heart and your life. They have no idea how much it will hurt them when they remember the memories of the times they had you in their life, the fact they tried breaking the one person, who was there for them in the past and who was always there for them with so much love and forgiveness that is what they will live with that for the rest of their lifetime!!!!!!

You will feel the most loved by everyone around you for your soul that is so special.

You have to be there for yourself this time. You’re a priority, you have a lot to offer to yourself to help others in your life as you are now in the position of being a part of sharing your story. Don’t let anyone make you feel that you aren’t worthy of being loved. I’m beyond thankful for still being here. For as many times I had wanted to give up. I made the most of my life by being able to keep fighting. The only thing that matters is the strength to keep me going through this process of grief, suffering, healing, and being able to see the things I once had to endure in order to be able to see what was truly worth the sacrifice of my own body and my own soul.

The only person who can be saved by the grace of Jesus is anyone who has ever seen him in the most horrific way possible to be a hero in his entire existence the one that will save you from your own misery and the ones who are the only person that is willing to give you a chance to be the one that can be helped by the one that has given me the most valuable gift of all of this life to be able to live with it and be able to have the peace of mind and to have a better understanding of life than the one that we have now in our own heart Prayers are always the best and the most important thing to do. I have to be able to keep going through this every single day because of the fact I have little one’s who look after me every single day.

I hope you find peace in this life because you deserve it and you are beautiful, you are a very beautiful precious soul. 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Mhm. No one actually cares about abuse victims. They just want someone to demonise to make themselves feel better

You want me to acknowledge that narcissistic abuse is real, that it's different from just abuse, and that even most abuse victims could never understand the trauma suffered by victims of narcissistic abuse?

Okay. Your wish has been granted.

Narcissistic abuse is real. Narcissistic abuse is abuse that turns someone into a narcissist. The phrases "narcissist" and "victim of narcissistic abuse" are synonyms. The victim of the abuse is the narcissist, not the abuser.

Wait, what's that? You're still angry? You're more angry than you were before? But how is that possible? You wanted me to acknowledge that narcissistic abuse is real and causes unique trauma that no one else can understand. And you got your wish. The only difference is who is being classified as a narcissist. So why are you angry?

Could it be because you never actually cared about victims of abuse? Could it be because you just wanted a convenient group of people to demonize?

If you trauma dump about your abusive relationships whenever anyone posts anything about NPD, you’re a garbage person, pass it on

Sometimes my trauma makes me feel like I’m just staring into a television playing static

Antidote☠️💉 - Angel Dust x Powerful Reader Part 1

⚠️Warning- This story contains mentions of abuse/sexual themes, so be warned if this makes you uncomfortable. This story is gonna contain some spoilers from Episode 4 of the series⚠️

Twirling the martini in your hand, you let out a sigh. You were sitting at the bar in the Hazbin Hotel, completely bored out of your mind. Your name was Y/N, or Morana, the frost demoness overlord that resided in Pride. Having arrived in Hell a few years ago, the power you wielded toppled over numerous overlords, causing you to be truly feared by those who attempted to threaten you. While you did possess unyielding power, you never used it for sadistic satisfaction, only in means to defend yourself. The true side of you was a compassionate demon, wanting to help those under dire circumstances, and also defend those you loved dearly. How you arrived at the hotel, was during one of your walks down Pride ring, and listened in to the 666 news. The broadcast was focused on Lucifers own daughter, Charlie Morningstar. She was going on about her hotel project that wanted to help rehabilitate demons, making them able to be forgiven to ascend to heaven. The sentiment touched you greatly, while the other demons around you, found it completely ridiculous and went on about their day. In fairness, redemption was not an easy thing to accomplish, and you had committed many sins in hell, that left you with no shot to go up to the golden gates. However, there were demons that either landed in hell for unknown reasons that didn't qualify as sin or wanted to make a change in their current life. Feeling for the kindhearted princess, you decided to head to the hotel, wanting to offer any services you could provide.

Charlie and Vaggie were shocked having seen you at the door, not expecting, not one but TWO overlords coming to the hotel. Charlie had heard the stories about you, but she saw purity in your eyes, and was ecstatic when you offered to help. Vagatha, immediately, pointed the spear to your throat, expected honesty, since you were almost on the same scale as Alastor. She saw no deception when you further explained yourself to her, resulting in her trusting you, but barely. Charlie then introduced you to everyone else that was residing in the lobby.

Laying on one of the couches appeared to be an 8 ft spider-like demon, sporting a semi-revealing outfit with pink gloves and black heels. Based on how he presented himself, he was very confident in his looks. His response to seeing you was a toothy smirk, along with a wink. It caused a bit of pink tinge to your cheeks. You responded back with a smile and wave, as Charlie kept dragging you by the hand. Simply adorable was your thoughts when you saw the little bundle of excitement, speed towards you, smiling wide and hopping with enthusiasm. She commented how pretty you were, before darting to catch the bugs with a needle. Catching a flash of red in the corner, your irises spotted Alastor the radio demon. You had come across him during your time in Hell. The both of you had no beef thankfully. You knew the power he wielded and treated him with respect, despite not enjoying his methods, but he was a gentleman, and that earned points in your book. Alastor assumed you were a power hungry overlord when he saw you near his turf, and couldn't wait to broadcast your screams in Hell. That idea diminished quickly, after learning how charming of a demon you were, and showed no fear when meeting him, acting very cordial with him. "Highly unusual" he thought since many demons feared him on sight, fleeing like cockroaches. He now considered you a very good companion, which wasn't easy to accomplish, so consider yourself VERY LUCKY being in Alastors good books. The last demon, was a anthropomorphic cat demon, standing near the hotel bar. He was guzzling cheep booze, before stopping when you introduced yourself. A head nod was his response to you, as he went back to drinking. Vaggie was able to tell you his name was Husk, and he was a bit of a grump.

Your arrival occurred a few months ago, and you had managed well in the Hotel. True, it was a bit difficult to get new demons to come, but like Charlie, you had many inspiring ideas to help, which Charlie greatly appreciated. Sir Pentious was the new addition to the group. He was very fearful of you since you had roughed him up a bit in the past when he was going around blowing up everything with his blimp. You appeased him, saying that you were here to help and that you would not fight him again. Well, he was very grateful for that. He was a bit of a dork, but he had a soft heart underneath that "wannabe overlord" persona. The relationships you built with everyone only grew over time, and you considered them all family, despite being very dysfunctional. Back to the present at the hotel bar, you were observing Charlie and the others, minus Alastor, watching one of Angels most popular films. It was obvious it was highly inappropriate so you decided to skip seeing it, but you felt rude to just leave the room, so you stayed around.

"Haha! What do you think you f✪✪✪✪? Starting to appreciate how good my skills are yet? I told ya let me do the next advertisement for this place, and there will be a line out the door!" Angel dust exclaimed this, laughing while laying on the couch. Charlie was flushed to her ears, but she was able to clear her throat and said that while she appreciated Angel wanting to help, she didn't want to exploit him like that. Rolling his eyes, Angel just said "whatever toots" and crossed his arms. A loud ringing penetrated the room, causing everyone to jump. It was Angel Dusts phone, giving how quick he got up to answer it. He was quick to walk away from the group, but you knew something was off, as you tried to listen to the conversation. "B-boss, You need me right now?! But I- No no, I'm not- Sigh, okay Valentino." That did not sound good. Your eyes gazed at Angel's face, and you saw the fear plastered all over it. That face was quick to disappear, and Angel put on a wide smile. "Welp. Time to head to work. Sayonara Bit✪✪✪✪" Flashing everyone four middle fingers, he bolted out the door. "Wait Angel" Charlie extended her hand out to stop Angel, but it was too late. Getting up from the bar, you placed your hand on Charlie's back, asking what was wrong. Charlie went on to explain that she wanted to finish the exercise with Angel, but now he got called away from his boss." Charlie insisted that she wanted Angel to spend more time at the hotel, but she knew he had a job to do with his current boss. Thinking of a way to help, your thoughts dissipated when Charlie came up with an idea. She would go to his workplace and talk to Angel's boss. "Charlie, I understand you want to do this, but it might not be so easy to reason with Valentino." Warning Charlie, you tried to make her change her mind but she was determined to do it. Heaving a sigh, you let Charlie go through with the plan, but you were coming along, since you figured she might need some help dealing with the moth man.

"Ah! Angel-cakes~! You made it right on time." Valentino swayed his way over to Angel, who was wearing a large fake smile, as he didn't want to upset him. "Of course, boss!" Angel winked at Val, as his body was getting dragged by him. "Wanted to do a spicy session today~. Couldn't decide on BDSM or doing 20 guys, but I figured why not both. You can handle it right, baby~!" Valentino leaned down towards Angel, exposing his golden tooth, as red saliva dripped from his mouth. Chills rain down Angels back, and he wanted to pull away, but he stopped himself. "Of course Val. You know me. I can go on forever without stopping" Angel smiled through the pain. "Excellent Angel-cakes. Now run along and get ready, and be quick about it" His sweet laced words then turned venomous, as he smacked Angels behind causing him to yelp, as he went into his dressing room. Angel was standing in the center of the shooting room, getting touched up by the makeup crew. Cameras were scattered around the room and stage lights were aiming at Angel. Valentino was sitting in the directors chair, gazing at Angel with glowing red eyes. "Now ACTION!!" The clapperboard snapped, signaling Angel to start. Heaving a deep sigh, Angel put on a smile and started doing what he does best.

(This song is such a bop and extremely heartbreaking. Credit to Blake Roman and Vivziepop for making this amazing song)

🎶I'm not above a love to cash in Another lover underneath those flashin' lights Another one of those ruthless nights Yeah, yeah, yeah I shoulda' guessed that this would happen I shoulda' known it when I looked in your red-hot eyes Spewin' all your red-hot lies Yeah, yeah, yeah What's the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself 'Cause I know you're poison You're feedin' me poison Addicted to this feelin', I can't help but swallow Up your poison I made my choice, and Every night I'm livin' like there's no tomorrow Oh-oh, oh-oh Any way you want me, baby That's the way you got me, I'll be yours My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison I got so good at bein' untrue I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear I disassociate, disappear Yeah, yeah, yeah So far beyond difficult to resist another gulp Yeah, I know it's poison You're feedin' me poison I'm chokin' from the taste and I can't help but swallow Up your poison I made my choice, and Every night I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow Oh-oh, oh-oh Any way you want me, baby That's the way you got me, I'll be yours My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison Poison, I'm drownin' in poison I'm fillin' up my glass but it's always hollow Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison Wish I had something to live for tomorrow…🎶

Laying on the floor in his dressing room, Angel was curled up into a ball. Tears were raining down his cheeks, staining it with black mascara. He was in pain, it was clear, but he had to pull through with it, unless he wanted to suffer Valentino's wrath. A knocking was heard from the other side of the door. It was one of the crew members telling Angel it was time for the next session. Collecting himself off of the ground, he walked over to his mirror. Wiping off the stains of ruined makeup, he applied it back on. Staring at himself in the mirror, it took everything in him not to punch his reflection. Taking a deep breath, Angel put on his mask, and headed to the next session. As he made his way over to the shooting spot again, Angel heard voices from the right side of the room. Looking towards them, he gasped in shock, seeing both you and Charlie entering inside the room. "WTH were they doing here?!" he thought as he rushed over towards them. "Oh excuse me, sorry, sorry." Charlie was bumping into everyone, despite blushing as she still wasn't use to this stuff. Following behind her, you tried to look for Angel, until your eyes spotted him walking towards the both of you. "Charlie!! Y/N!! What the f✪✪✪ are you doing here?!" Charlie smiled up at Angel, saying they wanted to see him and if they could talk with his boss. "Now is not a good time! Come on, get out of here before he sees you!" Warning them to leave, Angel tried to push the both of you back outside.

"Well Well, Angel-cakes! You didn't tell me you brought guests to my fine establishment~." A seductive voice came from behind the three of you. Valentino was making his way over, swaying his hips as he walked. "Why if it isn't the Princess of Hell? Such a pleasure to meet you." Valentino bent down, while grabbing her arm, giving it a lick. "Umm hello (no thank you)" Charlie gave an uncomfortable smile, not enjoying what Valentino did. Feelings of disgust began to build up inside you at his actions. His red piercing eyes then locked on you. "Oh what a beauty! Who might you be, darling~?" Valentino had leaned closer to your face, placing his hands around areas that were a major red flag. "My name is Y/N and I prefer if you would remove your hands from me." Your eyes glowed a neon blue, as you had grabbed his arms and push them back towards himself. His eyes widen at that, and a glare flashed towards you before his signature smirk came back. "Oh feisty~. I like that in a lady." Standing back to his regular height, he moved back a little bit and gazed at the both of you. "Now what are you fine specimens doing in a place like this~?" His crimson eyes were piercing the both of you. Angel had moved to the side, gazing down at the ground. He was petrified in fear, you could see it. "Yes, sorry. I was wondering if we could talk to you about Angel." Charlie chirped up, not reading the mood clearly. Valentino placed his hands on his hips, wondering what they wanted with his number one star. "Angel is staying at the Hazbin Hotel, and we had some rehabilitation activities we wanted to do with him. We understand he works for you, but we wanted to know if it was possible if he was able to get a break for today." Charlie's smile was so angelic. You knew she was being very sincere with what she was saying. Gazing at Valentino, you saw the slight twitch in his smirk as Charlie continued to talk.

"Oh I see~ Let me discuss this with Angel-cakes privately~." Angel grimaced at that statement, as he felt an arm loop around his neck, and moving him towards his dressing room. Charlie looked at the both of them with a frown, sensing something wrong. Your emotions were rising as you knew something was very wrong given how Angel was acting when his boss was near. Pushed into the room, Angel turned back towards Valentino. "Wait Val! I didn't know they were gonna show up her-" Angels words were cut off with a backhand to his face. "You pequeña mierda! What gives you the right to bring those sluts to my club?!" Valentino kicked Angel, sending him flying across the room. "AGH" Angel exclaimed in pain, as he hugged himself, shaking in fear. Valentino marched towards him, glaring down at him. Picking him up off the ground, he slammed Angel against the wall. "Do you not remember who owns you?! I'm the one that controls you. I have your soul, or did you forget that?" Choking him, Angel gasped for breath, as the life was squeezed out of him. Valentino smirked down, extending his head next to Angel's ear. "Those little putas can't save you Angel. Besides that hotel is not your home, this is, here with me~. Now, you are going to tell those little c✪✪✪✪ to leave. Understand~" Angel was trying to pull Val's hands off, crying tremendously.

"ENOUGH!!"

TO BE CONTINUED

Tagging:

@forbidden-sunlight

@pinkcrystal44

@veethewriter

@danveration

@sarahwasbeforeee

@cookiekyo

@iiotic

@delectableworm

@91062854-ka

@lovesomemha

@luujjvi

Part 2 Here

Epilogue Here - Warning Smut

My mother gives some or other advice just bcz me or my sister are sharing their pain and she gives advices without understanding depth of situations and emotions and say i give advice only when i think it suits them, yes it's your opinion don't f ing rub on us, you superficial narcissistic mother and she's single mother, people think highly of her and "understands" her. The truth is she doesn't or even try not to understand, so please if you weren't aiding me financially, i wouldn't even call you mother, i don't even wanna call you a mother, you're just a guardian. That's it pls stfu

People who believe in "narcissistic abuse" are never able to agree on a definition.

Some say narcissistic abuse is a set of abusive patterns that are unique to narcissistic personality disorder. Some say narcissistic abuse has nothing to do with narcissistic personality disorder.

Some say narcissists are physically incapable of understanding how their actions affect others. Some say narcissists are masters at understanding how their actions affect others and don't care.

They absolutely must use the word "narcissistic" to the point that they literally think they're being silenced if you welcome their entire story as long as they take the word "narcissistic" out of it, but they can't even define what "narcissistic" means.

I'm going to tell a little about myself

Well....

I had a friend, he was an outcast like me, he was a great guy, or at least that's what I thought, I was his friend, his confidant, and even something more than that, but, obviously everything wasn't so good.....

I was in love with him, or at least that's what I thought, he told me everything, his secrets, his goals, everything, I was always there for him... But even if I did that, it wasn't enough and it ended up being something lower than that....

He hurt me, he did something I didn't want, I thought it was love, I thought that was really okay, but no, I was just suffering, I was happy before that, I was happy before all that pain, It scarred me so badly that I thought I was going to die... I was thinking he could some day loves me.... But...

Obviously you can't make a narcissist loves you...

He changed the label that was on me, before I was a lover.... Now..... I am Medusa...

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, I told my parents, they moved me from class to another, but, no matter how good a person I was, no matter how much I followed the rules, be kind and do everything possible to help.... They created gossips about me...

He used me like Poseidon used Medusa, he did the same to me as Medusa

There I realized that he would not be for me but I would be for him....

Even a girl from the new classroom who knew my story and supports human rights, told me that even with all that, I was not so innocent when the gossip reached the ears of her classroom, a week was missing, everything was underwater, no one knew, but, still, they created baseless gossip, I felt humiliated, I felt sad, I lost my dignity, my best friend left because of that, I lost a love, I lost everything.... He hurts me so much, and he is still free and happy without pressure or bad things

But, in the middle of that bullshit, I met someone, someone so special, they were like a angel, they made me feel like I was everything, like I was theirs even from the beginning, they opened their arms and helped me heal, even with all the pain they told me, I still felt happy, I felt safe, I felt...

Freedom...

I felt good, even with all the pain, they made me have a reason to wake up every day, keep fighting, feel special because I am special, they helps so much, even with his problems, they was still there, they open their arms and embrace me, accepted me like I am

They kept me company, even if we both had problems, we helped each other to move forward, together we are strong, together we are special, together we were better than ever, even with all the pain, together.....

We are understood

Problems may still prevail but, still, everything will be fine, we will move forward, we will be strong, I really appreciate their friendship so much, Since they made me feel free again, I may still have to work on my wounds, but, I really feel like I won't fall again, besides, they changed my mind, my heart, and Even

They changed my label

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If you are in pain, If you are in a situation where they hurt you or want you to do things you don't want to do, run away, get help, You are valuable, you are worth the whole world, you are made of love, and you deserve someone to love you as if you were the whole world... And if someone doesn't tell you...

I love you so much...

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And.... Thanks for everything @psychicvoidtale

Trapped in a narcissist’s web

In the quiet corners of your mind, where the shadows linger and the echoes of your thoughts dance in hushed whispers, you find refuge in the world of "you." For you, the word "I" feels heavy, burdened with the weight of truths you're not ready to confront.

You walk through life with a mask of resilience, concealing the cracks in your heart with smiles borrowed from the faces of strangers. Yet beneath the façade, lies a woman whose dreams are tangled in the threads of a love she cannot name.

He entered your life like a storm, his charisma igniting sparks of possibility in the darkest corners of your soul. His words were like honey, dripping from lips that promised a world of grandeur and adventure. You fell, not for him, but for the mirage of potential he held in his hands.

In the beginning, his charm was a siren song, luring you into the depths of his world. You believed in the magic of his illusions, ignoring the warning signs that flickered like distant beacons in the night. His ego cast a shadow over your existence, and yet, you found comfort in the warmth of his embrace.

But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into years, the cracks in his façade began to widen, revealing the darkness that lurked beneath. His love was a labyrinth of mirrors, reflecting only his own desires and needs. In his eyes, you were but a pawn in the game of his ego, a vessel to feed his insatiable hunger for admiration.

You struggled to find your voice in the midst of his thunderous presence, the word "I" caught in the tangled web of his manipulation. You yearned to break free from the chains of his control, to reclaim the pieces of yourself that had been lost in the illusion of his love.

And yet, despite the storm raging within your heart, a flicker of hope remains—a whisper of the woman you once were, before "you" became the shield that guarded your fragile spirit. Deep within the recesses of your soul, you know that happiness lies not in the shadows of his ego, but in the light of your own truth. And one day, you will find the courage to reclaim the word "I," and rewrite the story of your life in the bold strokes of self-love and acceptance.

A person with an abusive nature will always register you standing up for yourself as an act of betrayal. Betray them.

The word "narcissist" was named after the Greek mythology character Narcissus.

That would make it similar to the word "draconian", which was named after the Athenian tyrant Draco.

By that information alone, it would seem as if there's nothing ableist about calling abusers narcissists.

Now imagine that people were diagnosed with Draconian Personality Disorder, which was a trauma response that caused those affected to respond extra harshly to those who slightly wronged them. Imagine that it was common for people to say "draconians do this, draconians do that, 5 ways to spot a draconian", and they seemed to always use the word "draconian" even though it would be so easy to use a synonym. Imagine that abuse victims struggled to be taken seriously but were easily taken seriously when they say they're a victim of "draconian abuse". Imagine that people frequently wished death on all draconians while applauding people with power who have the exact same patterns that get labeled as draconian.

That would clearly be ableist. And that's exactly what's happening with narcissism.

How can narcissistic personalities result from trauma?

While narcissism as a personality trait has existed for a long time, there is an increasing amount of people who associate the term the diagnosis "narcissistic personality disorder". I have put this in quotes because I believe cluster B personality disorders should not exist as diagnoses because they stigmatize maladaptive personality traits developed in response to trauma, and this stigmatization hinders a victim's ability to seek support and advocate for themselves.

I am a child abuse victim diagnosed borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits and this post is based on a combination of research and personal experience. As mentioned above, I am opposed to referring to victims as narcissists, but for the sake of this post, I'll be using phrasing recognizable to people with misconceptions about the topic. Please bear with me.

Childhood trauma is a common contributing factor in cluster B personality disorders even in the psychiatric diagnosis; however, when most people think of these disorders, they think of an abuser and not a victim, especially in the case of narcissism--after all, the term 'narcissist' is a pejorative with synonyms such as 'conceited' and 'self absorbed'.

In order to grapple with the source of a narcissistic personality developed in response to trauma, you must first be aware of what narcissism in NPD is actually like. These narcissists are not supervillains who successfully gain the love and support of everyone. Narcissism holds you back in life. For example, it makes rejection and criticism especially difficult to deal with, which can make maintaining relationships or even having a consistent career difficult. The confident demeanor of a narcissist--while it lasts until narcissistic collapse--is not genuine self-love. It's a way to mask vulnerability to avoid harm that was inescapable in the past. A narcissist is significantly more self-conscious than the average person, as they must inflate themselves in every scenario in order to feel safe and secure. This is where we can see the internal suffering of a narcissist and how such a personality is, at its core, a defensive reaction to trauma.

But what about entitlement?

"I deserved the pain." Self-blaming response to trauma.

"I deserve better". Healing response to trauma.

"Others deserve worse". Vindictive response to trauma.

While narcissism is associated with the last response, it's entirely possible for narcissists to have escalated from the first, or even cycle between all three. You have to keep in mind a narcissist is not actually in love with themselves--but in order for a person to be entitled, you may be thinking they must see themselves as superior in some way, right? Well, it's more complicated than that. Different responses to trauma can arise depending on the person's life experience, past trauma, and current situation. Interaction with victims that have similar trauma, such as in a group therapy setting, can provoke a narcissist's view on vulnerability. With their perception of the world and human relationships, they may view other victims as weak if they appear to have a more 'sensitive' reaction, because this is the type of reaction narcissists try so badly to hide in themselves in order to avoid potential harm. If a narcissist views an abuse victim--or anyone, really--as 'weak' in comparison, they will feel wounded and experience vindictive jealousy when a person that triggers their vulnerability in some way has successes in life. This is where the sense of entitlement comes in. As a defensive reaction, narcissists try to convince themselves they are in some way more deserving of a better life. "A better life" for a narcissist, as developed through trauma, often involves some sort of power. This can lead to fixation on things like wealth, fame, and material items. Anything to appear 'better'. Anything to appear secure. Any way to feel in control and invincible from abuse.

It's not a sympathetic reaction to trauma, but it is equally painful and damaging as any other. If you are a victim with this sort of behavior, you're not "hopeless" like the internet will tell you. At age 25, I have not intentionally caused anyone pain in 6 years. The vindictive feelings are there, but I choose to back away when I feel I may involve others in my own pain. "I don't deserve it, but neither do you."

I make this post for the men who have trauma and constantly get discredited for it or ignored, silenced, and told to be quiet just because they are a man. Anyone who thinks vulnerability is weak is ridiculous. Show support for all victims no matter their gender.

Mens rape, abuse, and sexual assault matters just as equally as it does for women. My platform is for both men and women, and for anyone in between. It’s for people who need a voice because they are scared to speak up, because they are told their story doesn’t matter, because they are forced to stay quiet, because they are told it’s their fault.

I’m here to tell you it’s not your fault, that your story’s valid and there are dozens of people who understand, who gone through similar, who are here to support you through it.

When it comes to talking about what my parents did to me I hate when someone says "but" because to me it feels like they are trying to dismiss it, someone told me that what I went through was awful but maybe they were abused when they were younger and it annoys me because it is sad if they were abused but it shouldn't use to dismiss what they did to me