Inner Thoughts - Tumblr Posts
The Lovers frequency, it Loves me too
xoxo, SIS <3 =)
Never stop yourself from sharing your pure joy/interest in something, with your physical reality- doesn’t matter where you are or who you’re with.
If you feel yourself being pulled to share and you stop it… that’s cutting yourself off from source. Always use discernment, yes- but never stop yourself from sharing who you are.
xoxo, SIS <3 =)
Feeling every emotion, turning it into power. Thank you, God.
Xoxo, SIS <3 =)
🎀Yours truly🎀
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
To cook, to clean, to nurture, to birth, to love
TO BE THEIRS....
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
Emotional signs are the very proof that we're women. Our curse is to have opinions and to want to live in the tenderness of our hysteria. If we did that, we'd end up burned on the cross, because even Mary didn't have a choice. Nonetheless, our emotional capacity and innovation gene distinguish us from the animals. Why am I being penalized for something that identifies all of us ?
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
The feminine urge
To fuck, to smoke, to kill, to build, to mob, to murder, to achieve, to hurt, TO DESTROY
Or maybe I'm overreacting. I better shut up before they take me away.
Fuck, I forgot to by my school notebooks.
I'm making a story wondering why the fuck would anybody care about this or wanna read it
Part of me wants to delete my last post cause my inner voice keeps saying it's cringe, which it probably is.
Why am I not going to?
Cause the other half of me says to just leave it, and it's okay. I'm happy with it even if I keep my oc information vague and no one understands what's going on.
Gotta love anxiety 🙃
To become detached can bring great healing. When a sudden detachment meets one involuntarily, the warm, familiar world becomes unknown.
to: izzy
are you trying your best?
or are you pretending to be trying your best?
from: izzy
and i'm just another person, trying to stay calm, reminding myself that i deserve good things in the world, reminding myself that i deserve love even if it's limited, reminding myself that i am trying my very best, reminding myself to be thankful because i truly am blessed to be where i am now, reminding myself that comparing myself with others will get me nowhere
trying to balance all of that while truly trying to swallow the pill that i'm still a human being that feels jealousy and greed. trying my best not to feel ashamed as she finds out how to battle this internal fight
she'll find internal peace someday.
but when is someday?
brushing my teeth after an interdimensional incident. I wash my face. I put the towel to my face and my skin flakes off as I turn to bone
72 -
Random brain dump:
I am not great at school. Mostly because I struggle with consistency. In like…every aspect of my life. I’m smart, I test quickly & well. But I have a hard time staying focused, I get distracted & my sense of time is so warped. I think I walk around half disassociated all the time.
Also like…school is such a TASK *yawn*
So yes, I have ADHD.
I have been on a stimulant medication now for a few months At first, it turned the 10 channels in my head down to 2. The noise got quiet. It was amazing.
Now I think I’ve adjusted. I’m struggling again. I feel like I’m going crazy and have dementia at 30.
•
I really wanted to impress my final teacher. And well, I don’t think I did. She’s tough.
Today though, she told me that I’ve really pulled it together the last few weeks with my focus and being present. She knows I care and is proud of me.
This is going to sound terrible but because I already feel insecure about her “liking” me, I don’t feel like this was genuine. I am having trouble accepting it.
^ there’s my bitchy little twit (BLT) of a trauma voice trying to convince me I suck.
•
The pendulum swings between extremes before it reaches equilibrium. I’ve swung from a severe people pleaser to speaking my mind completely, anyone be damned.
Erm….it’s made a couple of things awkward. So like let’s hurry up and find my new comfort level with this.
I realized lately that while I may be all like “let me look deep into myself and come to terms with/embrace all of my shame and wear it proudly because that takes away its power to control me blah blah”- not everyone is there yet.
Whether they want to get there or not, how they get there, etc….none of my business.
I try really hard to stay in my own lane and worry about myself mostly. But it’s hard because I still feel the claws of my BLT trying to pull me back into the land of insecure misery lol
Sometimes I pretend I’m actually just an actor in a lifelong biopic and actually, it does help. Because then I realize how ludicrous almost everything is.
•
My moral alignment is chaotic neutral and I feel like it really defines me and I’m not ashamed of it.
Having a solid sense of understanding and identity is my #1 priority right now.
Idk ya’ll. I think I may like myself. Uh oh…shit. I might get all healed and take over the world!!!!! Watch out
•
A friend told me recently how he could see how I could be extremely easy to love but incredibly hard to deal with.
I was dying to ask for him to explain exactly what they meant and how/why he thinks this. Hi, I’m insecure.
But I held my tongue. Unsure as to why. Sense of pride or protection? I find myself holding in my thoughts much more frequently these days.
I guess subconsciously, I am more selective now about who I share myself with.
People are exhausting and honestly? I have worked/am working really hard to improve myself.
I will no longer give away pieces of myself with no regard or care.
Not sure what to make of it. I mean, he’s probably right. I can be a lot. Sometimes I swear I disassociate and I watch a version of me running full speed until my batteries run out
And all the while I’m banging on the glass like “Stop!!!!!!”
My brain hurts often.
•
I will try to stay positive and breathe through the tough moments.
Made it through Day 1. Again.
Hello No one follows me nor do I follow anyone, at least for now. I want to document my journey as an aspiring writer. I am 17 years old and I am sick and tired of waiting for someone to tell me to write. So. This is it. I shall write.
Let me find me.
Don't let fear hold you back. Take a leap of faith, and watch your world expand. You're capable of amazing things!
You are stronger than you think. Don't give up on your dreams. Keep pushing forward, and you'll achieve anything you set your mind to.