.˚·. 15 ✩ she/they ✩ sickly mind .·˚.
35 posts
S1ck1y-v4mpd0ll - Mila - Tumblr Blog
white insp0 board
meal ideas:
Tw: rants of not being desired. Block don't report
WHY AM I SO FUCKING DISGUSTING? LIKE MY PERSONALITY N EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS NOT DESIRABLE LIKE WHY COULDN'T MY PARENTS PRODUCE SOMETHING CUTE? LIKE ALL I WANT IS SOME OLDER MAN TO FIND ME PRETTY AND WANTS TO SPOIL ME WITH LOVE N MONEY OR AT LEAST STARE N FLIRT WITH ME LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING GIRL IN MY STUPID ASS LIFE, I WANT TO BE PRETTY, I CANTT?? STUPID AS FUCK N STUPID ASS LIFE. LIKE I CAN GET ATTENTION FROM GUYS ONLINE BUT IT ISN'T IRL, PPL ONLINE DONT EVEN SEE MY FACE. IT ISNT AS PERSONAL AS IRL.
TW: s/h (no pictures) block don't report!!!
I just got so angry and overwhelmed at everything and took it out on my thighs and now I feel better so Idk why everyone in my life says it's not effective?😭
If you go back to eating normal, you’ll have a normal body again
My fellow annas,
Math is your friend!!! For example, knowing a lb of fat is 3500 cals means that if you "overate" by 500 cals, but you were already in a 1000 cal deficit, you'll just lose weight more slowly and won't gain weight.
Multiplication and division are nice too because, if you have a 400 cal desert but eat it over the course of 4 days, it's only 100 cals a day AND you enjoy it 4 times.
Also if you eat *gasp* 1000-1200 cals a day (ik sooo many) you will lose weight, just not instantly, and it's possible to do this for a really long time without organ failure/hair loss/mood swings/any other bad symptoms you don't want. Even the smallest deficit will add up over time and it'll be easier to transition into maintenance once you reach your gw.
If you do binge, still log the cals. You might find that while your weight went up 3lb, you only went 1000 cals over your bmr, meaning that you gained like 6 OUNCES of fat and the rest is water and bloat.
Also think about time as numbers. Yeah 8 weeks to lose 8kg feels like 4 ever, buttttt it's better than multiple years of binge/strve cycle and no progress (cough cough, ME)
Hope this helps, it breaks my heart to see posts like "I ate 1000 cals today, all my progress is gone 😭" because you deserve to know exactly what your weight is doing and why (also I swear I'm not trying to be preachy about this, I spent my entire teenage years like you all and I'm trying not to also spend my twenties like this too lol)
Stay safe 🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍
movies that are triggering to pass time
link containing movie collections:
Picture under !!
I want to be her but skinnier (I'm not saying she's fat, I'm saying I want to be more breakable and holdable like this).
Hello, can anyone please send me meanspo? You can send it through the asks or dm it me.
Hey new account! <3 if you don't have a scale to weigh yourself, you can use a fabric tape measure (I'm not sure what they're called lol) if that helps! I like using them more than scales because they're tiny enough to hide and explain away as tools for figuring out measurements for online shopping. Plus, I just like seeing that progress on my body more than on a scale lol!
Hello, thank you for the tip, I needed this !! :)
I wish he would kiss my scars and then kiss me so that i know it will all be okay.
tw self harm mentions
ok, have to say this again.
shblr! For the love of everything, STOP TAGGING SH RECOVERY ON YOUR PICS OR RELAPSE POSTS?! sorry to say it but shut the fuck up maybe? Post whatever the hell you want but STOP tagging recovery when your post is NOT about it, at all. I am trying to stay clean, stop trying to drag people down with you. Your so annoying like please I’m begging you, stop tagging sh recovery your hurting others by posting your sui ideation for those keeping clean/trying to stay clean to read.
if your mad about this then YOUR the problem.
This is how I can verbally explain my trauma.
People who refuse to understand that cvtting for attention is valid make me so, so angry. Because i'm not talking about someone who does it because they want to hurt someone else/do it as "revenge" against someone to make them feel bad, I'm talking about someone who cvts to get attention because they know something is wrong, but they don't know what that something is and they can't articulate it.
If someone is resorting to cvtting themselves to get you to look at them and pay attention to them and you brush it off as just being dramatic and attention seeking, you're not helping. And usually, a lot of us hide our sh for a reason! Even if we've been clean for a while! I hid my scars for nearly a year because I didn't want anyone to know, but even if I didn't even if I showed someone to ask for help in the only way I knew how, that would've been valid.
Is it bad that I really love how my sh looks? It's so pretty, fresh and with scabs.
I use sexual relationships as self harm because,
if I just give my body away it won't be mine anymore. I won't have to deal with it anymore.
to anyone and everyone who wants to go deeper: don't
you will never be satisfied. there is never a depth where you say "okay this is enough" once you start down the path of going deeper you never stop. there's no end point. it's agonizing.
your self harm is serious enough as it is, you don't have to go deeper for it to be serious. you don't have to have scars. you don't have to hit the dermis or the fat for it to be real. it's real, it's serious.
there is nothing glamorous about deeper. it's not worth it.
uh oh minor inconvenience!!! do i cut my . . . ⚪️ loved ones off ⚪️ calories ⚪️ hair ⚪️ self 🔘 all of the above in order
my thigh when im ever inconvenienced even just a little bit
//||\\\X|/|\\||x
why is destroying my body so fun?
~ Body Inspo ~
Image's below !!
"i want you to heal!!!" i wont fall for that, you want me look fat and ugly so u can look prettier and thin next to me (ᗒᗩᗕ)
Edblr Things
I'm not encouraging Ed's, pls don't start and try to recover !!
I'm on edblr, and I'm not very deep in it I could probably stop if I wanted💀
I'm 135 lbs and I have a fast metabolism.
My bmi: 22.5.
My dream bmi: 16.6
I want a flat stomach and want smaller thighs, I basically wanna be smaller
My goal for right now is: 100 lbs
And I don't have a weigher so I can't exactly weigh myself and I have to go by how skinnier I get.
꒰ Intro ꒱ ︎
Warnings: (also pls don't report just block!!)
☆ this blog WILL have triggering topics like: Eat1ng D1sord3rs and s3lf-h4rm and any images despicting these topics WILL have trigger warnings !!
Other possibly mentioned triggering things(idk if I will actually mentions these are not): Personal 0nl1ne grxxming experiences this WILL also have trigger warnings if mentioned.
About me:
☆ Hello, my name is Mila, I'm 15 y/o, I go by she/they and I'm omnisexual.
☆ I'm kinda new to edblr and shblr (i think the correct term is shedblr? Possibly??) so pls don't judge
☆ shows/movies I like:
The walking dead
Euphoria
The boys
How to train your dragon
Cod modern warfare(I don't have the games but I do watch gameplay)
☆Music Artist I like:
Lana Del Rey <3
Mitski
Marina and the diamonds
Will wood
Ect.
☆ Boundaries:
Don't ask for pics.
Don't be mean.
This is a safe place for everyone.
Preferably 14+
☆Things I might post:
Edblr [Edblr things for me]
Shblr
Shedblr
Vents
Girlblogs
Morute themes
Grunge themes
Agere (coping mechanism)
Vague s3xual themes (trigger warnings will be provides and it won't be in depth detail)
Things associated with my favorite characters & actors ex. Jeffrey Dean Morgan (I love him)
☆Thats all I have I might add more :3