Night Thoughts - Tumblr Posts - Page 3
if i could land my rocketship on the sun,
it would feel just like self-hate washed away by something you said that makes me smile unabashedly, unapologetically. you are the sun in the cold heart of space.
Good night
h-hey uh can i uh- *clears throat**deep voice* can i have that *voice crack**high voice* cereal
Nights
All those deep thoughts happen at night and here I am thinking about my life and how I want it to be. D'you ever felt the need to let yourself go? by being completely independent? I'm in a growing (sucks) state of wanting to live without any supervision cos it feels like I'm trapped inside my comfort zone for far too long already and I just want to drift away. Literally. Like live alone in another city and explore on my own. I want to learn something new. I'm already 22 and I don't want to settle in a place where I grew up just because it feels safe. I want to go on adventures with different people who can bring the adult out of me. To feel new feelings, to find someone I can share my brand new life experiences. Somehow it's sad that I feel so stuck up with everything and even though I'm slowly getting what I wanted, the progress I'm looking for is not there. It's too early for a mid-life crisis, I know. But I want something more. More than this.
I feel a strong and sharp energy flow through my brain
That quickly opens my tired eyes and I’m awake again
I must think about all the people I could be hugging tonight
If it hadn’t been for me, disappearing from their lives
I swallow the pain and it goes back to my brain
And to avoid for the loop to endlessly repeat itself
I tell myself, that I’m ok
That I have to be alright
And finally, I fall asleep with all my muscles tense as fuck
Part of my poem “Lonely nights thinking about hugs” which is about physical and emotional loneliness :)
Okay, I’m thinking about trying something new to potentially spice up the page once again (when am I ever gonna stop trying to?)
Do you think I should try adding in prompts? Like just random RP Prompts or OneShot Prompts? Or should I just keep it the way it is?
Thoughts... I need to know...when will I see you again? -E.S.
Tue, Aug. 22nd / 2023 2:51 p.m. @sunkissed-summerdaze
. 𝗂𝗇⠀ 𝟏𝟕𝟗𝟖.⠀ 𝖼𝗈𝗅𝖽⠀ 𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍⠀ ﹠⠀ 𝗈𝗅𝖽⠀ 𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗌⠀ .
. . 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁⠀ なた⠀ 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋⠀ ! . .
I used a face mask brush for the first time and was like "Oh! I'm going to have so much control now! Gonna have some great results!" And then I nigh-immediately rammed a fat gob of chemicals straight into my eye with it and that's a good metaphor for the industrial revolution I think.
I'm surprised at the fact that I'm getting good at drawing hands kinda quick, I will share some of the sketches tomorrow. Most of them are traditional sketches instead of digital sketchs.
How do you think... Is it ok to be aloof on the outside but on the inside want to have fun with people and make friends?
I mean, logically i understand that it is my introversion mixed with sensitivity and lack of self-confidence which are pretty usual traits but... This knowledge doesn't make the situation much better. I still feel uncomfortable talking on the phone and i never initiate friendship with smn myself. And i don't actually want to take these social actions. When i have to, it feels like a burden.
How can i want to be a more social person if i don't? Sounds like a paradox, isn't it? Maybe the problem isn't right here but nearby.
What comes to my mind right now is that i could be a little more sociable if dealt with my complexes.
By the way, writing this post helps me to structure this problem better 😊
How do i deal with them? ... *thinks for a minute* ... Wow, i didn't expect this question to make my head so empty. *"thinks" for 2 more minutes* i guess i have to come up with something already. Now i know: this topic is very uncomfortable because my mind is currently blocking thoughts and ideas. Which means i have a lot to work on.
I often have a feeling which feels (yes sounds great) like my heart is under chains (or holds some weight), it's not like a knife put there or too depressing, no (I'm glaad its not), it's more of a slow weak wall stopping you from being happy, easygoing, communicative and emotionally expressive (i behave like this with my best friend). I really don't know how to stop it or even should i try to do it?...
Nah I'm tired of discussing bad things, let's talk about music. I love music. Keypad has even automatically replaced love with live)). My favourite genres are rock, hard rock, metal and classic music. I like a lot of music except pop music. I rarely find pleasant songs there. What about you?🌠
Could you advise something on my issue or do you have some similarities?🙁
I asked God to remove all the negative things from my life, I almost died.
I wish you get everything you never knew you always wanted.
I'm in that state that I want to go ice skating at 11pm in the summer even though I am not so good at skating....
I just want to slide on the ice....
I don't know why but I feel it will calm me down so good.....
Is it even worth it ?
Is trying worth anything ?
Is trying harder worth ?
Will trying change anything ?
Will any effort change anything ?
Probably not....
Then why try ?
Why put any kind of effort when other side does nothing in return ? When other side puts no fucking effort.
Is living worth it ?
Is death worth it ?
Is love worth it ?
Is anything worth anything ?
Again....too tired to cut